A few days ago, my pal Jason Konopinski and I were talking via “The Twitter” when we suddenly started swapping quotes from the Princess Bride. Jason suggested that I write a blog post encapsulating some of the wisdom we were hitting upon in that conversation, so here is my best shot. I hope you enjoy!
1. “I do not think this word means what you think it means.”
When Vizzini, Fezzik, and Inigo Montoya are stealing away Buttercup, Inigo Montoya keeps noticing that the “Man in black” is following them, to which Vizzini responds repeatedly, “inconceivable.” Vizzini seems like a wise man, but Inigo is just not quite sure that this word is being used 100% properly.
I don’t want to be a jerk, but using this quote online could come in handy.
2. “Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.”
Little Fred Savage keeps telling his grandfather that he has a pretty good grip on the plotline. At one point he even uses those dreaded words, “See, I told you!” His grandfather says the above quote in response.
Again, I think this could come in handy at times. Sometimes people say things as if these observations are the most profound thoughts in the world. Smacking them down in a firm yet funny way isn’t a crime. Right?
3. “Do you have six fingers on your right hand?” “Do you start all conversations this way?”
Sometimes, especially via Twitter direct messages, I get really weird introductory comments or questions. People sort of act like they’ve known me for a million years, yet in trying to give that sense they actually show how really far off they are. I think I’m going to start responding with, “Do you start all conversations this way?”
4. “Life is pain, princess. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell something.”
Now, sometimes people who say otherwise are just trying to cheer you up, but I always crinkle my nose at least a little bit when someone tries to tell me that there are unicorns flying around outside. Now you can get flying unicorns too, for just $150 a unicorn!
5. Buttercup, after kissing the king’s cheek: “Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won’t be seeing you again since I’m killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.” The King: “Won’t that be nice. She kissed me, ha, ha, ha!”
Have you ever encountered people who don’t *really* seem to read an entire blog post but have a response they really want to leave for you? Or maybe you say something to someone and they respond with something that seems entirely about them and maybe entirely out of place? Yeah. That.
6. Prince Humperdink: “That may be the first time anyone has DARED to insult me.” Westley: “It won’t be the last.”
I have noticed over my tenure in the online world that the people who feel they are most above reproach are actually the ones who tend to get their butts handed to them the most, whether it’s on Twitter or via the dreaded bloggy call-out. Prince Humperdink certainly thinks he is too good for this world, and Westley most certainly does not let him feel that way for long.
7. “He’s only *mostly* dead.”
This of course is a quote from Mad Max, and I think I’m going to use this retort throughout 2012 whenever someone notes that email, print, television, mobile, the interwebz, or anything else is dead. It’s only *mostly* dead. Which means, of course, that it’s partially living.
8. “REOS’s? They don’t exist.”
Westley tries to comfort Buttercup regarding her fear of rodents of extraordinary size by convincing her that they don’t really exist. Of course, he has already spotted the REOS that is stalking them, so his effort to comfort or help Buttercup actually results in her being blind-sided by the attack. Similarly, I feel sometimes that “experts” in the social media world guffaw at potential dangers in order to comfort their friends or clients when in reality the best move is to prepare them for the fight.
9. “People in masks cannot be trusted.”
Do people wear masks in the online world? Well, an avatar is a mask, is it not? It looks the same no matter what is going on in your real life. Does that mean you should avoid trusting anyone? Of course not. Does it mean you should automatically consider everyone you talk to your 100% best bosom buddy ever? Eh…maybe not. I’d think about it, anyway.
10. “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”
Despite all of the rumors to the contrary, there really are experts who happen to use social media platforms to communicate. I highly advise you not to try to convince these folks that you know more than them, most especially if you really don’t. It really can make you look bad, and it can also expose the fact that you actually know a lot less than what you had presented. Now that’s a real bummer!
These are the quotes I thought of. What would you add?
Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/megadem/1339257745/ via Creative Commons