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Archives for December 2010

The art of retweeting

by Margie Clayman

I’m not one of those people who likes to go around saying, “This is the way I do it so this is how you should do it. Otherwise you’ll smell funny for 7 years.” Rather, I like to give my opinion, and if you want to debate the issue you are more than welcome.

Given that, I firmly believe that a lot of Twitterers need a retweeting intervention.

What on earth is retweeting?

OK, let me back up a moment and give a really quick background of what I’m talking about, just in case you are new to Twitter or aren’t on Twitter at all (in which case this post probably doesn’t hold a lot of interest for you, so thanks for making it this far!). So when you’re on Twitter and you see a tweet someone has made, you have 3 options. You can reply, which means you are talking to them. You can “favorite” the tweet, which is kind of like bookmarking it (this is for your use, but anyone can see your favorites). The third option is that you can “retweet” the tweet. This means that if you really like what the person is saying, you can click “retweet” so that another person’s tweet actually becomes yours. It’s like a Twitter version of quotation marks. This allows you to tell all of your followers, “Hey guys, check this funny/smart/sad/moving tweet.”

The One Click Method Versus The Cumbersome Method

If you do “retweeting” the way Twitter wants you to do it, it’s really easy. You just click “Retweet.” It’s like the “like” button on Facebook. Click click click. A lot of people, I think, view retweeting as a method of interaction, promotion, and/or engagement, so they retweet a lot and don’t have to do a whole lot more. So, someone’s profile could end up looking like this:

This is what you see a lot in profiles. Retweet after retweet. Sometimes it’s not even articles that people retweet. Sometimes you’ll see a profile where the person is retweeting other people retweeting them.

Is this methodology *wrong*? I can’t really say that. But here’s the thing. If your last 20 posts consist mostly of your own tweets and retweets that are simple echoings of what other people are saying, are you truly interacting with others? If you look at the tweets that the person above retweeted, most are about business and Social Media, and then one is about pigging out at Christmas. Why is that there? Did they think it was funny? It definitely doesn’t seem to fit in with other things. Why are they retweeting the other things there? Are these blog posts that are controversial? Are they really well written? I have no idea. For all I know, this account could belong to a spam bot that just retweets things every few minutes.

This brings me to the “cumbersome” method of retweeting. It involves adding a bit of a comment before or after what you’re posting that not only shows that you actually read or engaged with what you’re retweeting, but it also reveals something about you to your followers.

This can’t be done so far as I know with a simple click. The method I use is to copy a person’s tweet, leave my comment, put an RT @username and then paste their comment in. So it would look like this:

Now this retweet was a bit complex because I wasn’t the first person to see this fantastic post. @Kikolani saw it, my friend @pushingsocial then saw it from her stream, and I saw it from his. Instead of leaving a longer comment myself, I let @bbrian017 know that I thought it was a great post and that I saw it thanks to two people I respect a great deal. That’s a lot to say in a retweet – it lets the person I’m retweeting as well as my followers know a lot of information – about what I share, who I take recommendations from, and more.

When retweeting goes a bit over the top

Friday was one of the days that I was away more than usual from my Twitter and blogging world. When I checked on things late in the day, I saw that there were quite a few mentions of my name. In looking at things a bit more, I realized that the following had happened.

Someone did a “Follow Friday” post listing me and about 7 other people

Then, about 3-4 of the other folks retweeted the original #ff post (a couple did add a “TY” at the beginning)

I think 1 or 2 people then retweeted THOSE posts

This is where the easy access to retweeting becomes a bit of a hazard. Ask yourself, before you hit retweet, whether your followers really need to see this tweet. Actually, that’s probably good advice regardless of what you’re tweeting, but in any case, will your followers truly benefit from seeing lots of retweets of your follow Friday mentions? If someone says something nice about you, do you need to retweet that?

Here’s something I have learned on Twitter. If you say something to someone and people want to see the other side of the conversation, they can visit that other person’s profile and look. With that in mind, 99% of the time, I will not retweet a nice thing someone says about me. Rather, I’ll simply and genuinely say, “Thank you very much!” The only time I stray away from this is if someone does a blog post that mentions me, because I want to help them drive traffic to their site in that case. Even then, though, I don’t do the one-click retweet method. I usually write my own tweet and then put a link to their post in.

Another disadvantage to one-click retweeting

One other quick point I’d point out for those of you who are fans of metrics. When you tweet out a link, you are able to track how many people click that link most of the time. For example, I use bit.ly, and I can see how much traction those links get. If you simply retweet someone else’s tweet, you’re not getting your own trackable link. You’re just sending their link out.

Retweeting is a gift

I like to think of retweeting as a gift – it’s a way of telling someone that what they said was so great that you want to share it with all of your followers. You want to give up some of your platform to someone else. If you retweet people all of the time, it becomes less of a gift and more of a “ho hum” activity. No one will really feel special if you retweet them because you seem to retweet everybody. In my own case, I prefer to retweet by not really “retweting,” but rather by promoting. If someone does a great blog post, I’ll explain why I recommend reading it and then tweet a link out rather than just retweeting their own post about it. Again, this shows them that I took the time to read it and offer thoughts about it, and it also gives my followers more insight into why the heck I’m posting this information for them. Everybody wins.

How are you retweeting?

Does any of this resonate with you? How do you handle retweets right now? If you tend to hit the “retweet” button a lot, give the “cumbersome” method a try, and let me know how it works for you. And of course, as always, if you have any questions, just let me know!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Thoughts on Traditional Agencies and Social Media Boutiques

by Margie Clayman

On December 21, 2010, Jeremiah Owyang published a comprehensive post titled, “Trend: How Social Media Boutiques Are Winning Deals Over Traditional Digital Agencies.” Given that I work for an agency (I’ll get to the word “traditional” in a minute) the post attracted my attention. I think the post raises a lot of interesting points, but there are also some facets of the post that I really take issue with. So, I thought I would explore some of those thoughts and see if you agree.

The new traditional agency

I’ve been confused all year about how people define “agency.” It seems like everyone has their own definition, with the only commonality being that talk of agencies is often tied to disdain. This particular post refers to a traditional agency and a traditional digital agency, which I thought was even more confusing. So I did some research. I found this article from October 2008, which is called How to integrate a digital agency into a traditional one. Among some of the points that THIS post brings up:

• In a traditional agency, the creative personnel have no idea how to develop creative for the online world

• Traditional agencies are afraid of change (and programmers)

• “Hosting, Bandwidth, Email, Load Balancing, Database, Privacy Policies, Proofing Sites, Backups, Milestones, Testing – terms that traditional account management has never heard of”

Well, I of course can’t speak for all agencies, or really any agency other than the one I work for (which is my family’s agency). However, none of this accurately describes us, and I would venture to say that any agency that is striving hard to survive would not find these descriptions accurate either.

Factually, the new traditional agency is what one might call “full service.” Our agency does print ads, sure. We also do digital ads, news releases, e-newsletters, websites, SEO, and Social Media. That’s right. Social Media.

It’s not clear to me how “traditional digital agency” is defined in the context of Jeremiah Owyang’s post, but I am coming to it based on the understanding that a “traditional” agency is probably not traditional in the “old fashioned” kind of sense.

“Immature Brands Naturally Rely on Traditional Agencies”

This is where some of the wording started to rub me the wrong way. This part of the post basically says that:

• most corporations are not trying to engage with customers

• and therefore, using a “traditional” agency works just fine

The post states that traditional agencies might educate companies but that traditional agencies “lack flexibility or don’t have a business model for social engagement.”

This kind of painting with a broad paintbrush is what I find most disturbing in the realm of Social Media, not just in terms of talk about agencies but in terms of, well, just about anything. An agency can be good at this, a Social Media boutique can be good at that, so you need to pick one or the other.

However, there is some research behind this, so let’s dig a bit deeper.

Agency as hub

Let’s say that you are working with an agency but you really want to engage in an aggressive Social Media campaign. Let’s say that your agency has helped you create a great strategy and has helped you develop a corporate policy (yes, we can do that), but you need help with implementation. One advantage to working with an agency that people seldom think of is that we are able to use our expertise and connections to connect you with who you need. Think of us as a hub, and lots of different firms and specialists can plug into us on your behalf. An agency can work WITH a Social Media boutique or consultant. We can serve as liaison so that you don’t have to sit and explain your whole business to the firm. We can provide background information on where you are in your process, and we can help you monitor the Social Media campaign both as it exists on its own and as it interfaces with other marketing channels.

This is not to undermine the fact that an agency can also focus personnel on  your Social Media strategy. I know how to engage and build communities in Social Media, and I also know how to order space in a print magazine. Is that a weird disconnect? I don’t think so. I think, rather, that it’s an essential mix. I would feel I was doing a poor job if I dropped either portion of what my experiences have taught me. If you are a marketer in this world, I don’t think turning your back on any portion of what a client may need to do is a wise move. Absorb everything. Learn as much as you can. And pass it on to your customers.

Campaign versus Long-Term Goal

The kernel that I found most disturbing is under the sub-head, “Why Social Media Boutiques Differentiate, and Win Deals from Advanced Buyers.” The post contends that “corporations know they need these specialists” for several reasons, one of which is, “Rather than be “campaign” focused, instead are more long term focused such as building a community with customers for the long term.”

Hmm.

Suzanne Vara wrote a great post a couple of months ago called Social Media is Not A New Conversation. She points out that marketers have been talking to their customers for … well, forever. It’s a necessary part of the job. It’s just the method of conversing that has changed.

With that in mind, I don’t think it’s accurate to say that corporations can rely on agencies for “campaigns” but can only rely on Social Media boutiques for engagement and community. In fact, what seems to be missing from a lot of marketers’ toolboxes is the fact that your customers are the same people, whether you reach them via an ad or a tweet. Why start from scratch as if you are new to the market? Why throw the baby out with the bathwater?

Howdy, Partner

Social Media boutiques, PR firms, marketing firms, agencies, web development firms – we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses in this ever-changing world. The advantage that an agency can offer is that we can interface with you and with everyone else you need to work with. We can partner with you. We can partner with the Social Media Boutique. It does not have to be a situation where we are “winning deals” over each other.

What is your vantage point on this issue? I’d love to have a conversation with  you.

1st Image by Franci Strümpfer. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/1041992

2nd Image by Mohammad Salman Ehsan. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/graphican

Filed Under: Marketing Talk

My 100 favorite posts of 2010

by Margie Clayman

OK, so to be fair, I was really not reading many blogs (I confess!!!) from January through March. So really, these are my top 100 favorite posts of the last nine months. But 2010 just sounds a lot better. The categories and the posts within each category are listed in no particular order, by the way.

Posts That Made Me Cry

1. You Need a Suzanne Vara, by Chris Brogan. Ok, I’ve mentioned this post a couple of times. I was of course beyond flattered that two amazing and special people would actually  be spending time talking about me, but more than that, I just thought this tribute to Suzanne, who has since become an even more dear friend, was just spectacular and well-deserved.

2. The Power of Not Giving Up – One Blogger’s Story, by Naomi Dunford. This was a guest post at ProBlogger, and not only was I moved by the post itself, but I was also at a point in my budding Social Media career where things didn’t seem to be catching – this post showed me that maybe I wasn’t crazy to think things would get better. If you’re feeling a little low, give this post a read.

3. Why are you scared to be outspoken? by Lisa Barone. A perfect mixture of using the personal to make a professional point, of showing vulnerability and toughness at the same time – and a great message running through it all.

4. The $10 Difference, by Jason Falls. A story of struggle, inspiration, and a call to action.

5. How Social Media Got Me A Message from Superman, by Cristian Gonzales. Cristian had found my #30Thursday posts and asked if he could submit this one. Um, yeah, you think?!? Shake my hand and make me bawl, why doncha? 🙂

6. Fielding Love: The Walk to Remember, from the Sweet Salty Blog. This was hard to read but I’ll never forget it.

7. What I learned about networking when I asked a stranger for a kidney, by Lisa Petrilli. You’ll well up and you’ll learn at the same time. What could be better?

8. Thankful for her unblessings – an astonishing video by Estrella Rosenberg.

9. A Veterans Day message, a vlog by Amber Cleveland

Posts that made me laugh

10. Food Glorious Food, by Molly Campbell. I love all of Molly’s writing, but this one just sticks out in my head.

11. Bring Your Whole Self To Work, by Tristan Bishop. What’s better than a brilliant dude imitating Shrek & Donkey, anyway?

12. The 7 Deadly Sins of Blogging, by Sonia Simone at Copyblogger. So funny. So smart. So Sonia 🙂

13. Growing Old Gracefully, by, well, Fadra Nally’s cat! Being a cat person, I loved this post!

Posts that blew my mind

14. It’s time to get to work. Arm yourself with knowledge, by Beth Harte. The amount of information and learning packed into this post is, like, woah.

15. The Social Network: Ecosystem vs. Egosystem, by Brian Solis. If you didn’t need to read this post twice, well, you’re smarter than I am!

16. How to use inception marketing on your blog, by Tommy Walker. A guest post at ProBlogger, this post was enjoyable as the movie!

17. Are we outsourcing common sense to the internet? by Fred McClimans. Brilliant post about the current state of the world, and a lot to think about!

18. The Marketing Solar System: Making it easy for customers makes them more loyal, by Debra Ellis. It’s “just” a picture 🙂

19 Why PR has its head up its ass, by Danny Brown. This blew my mind in a different way than some of the other posts, but it’s still a great post!

20. Socialopoly: The fictional mashup of Social Media and Monopoly, by Brian Rice. I debated whether to put this in the laugh category or this one, but it’s too freakin brilliant not to include here!

21. Confessions of a Narcissist, by Mitch Joel. This post really made me stop, think, and evaluate. I can’t believe I first read it four months ago!

22. It’s Micro-Local isn’t it? by Maya Paveza. Well, this post still has me puzzling. Maya’s post has ramifications for real estate, but also well beyond real estate. Really amazing insight here.

Perspective-Changing Posts

23. The Fine Art of Chunking, by Jonathan Fields. I’m a “grab the whole pie in your mouth with one fell swoop” kind of person, so the idea of chunking really hit home.

24. Oui Theory, by “Gaga” Susan Fox. I love this post, the tonality, and what it describes.

25. Personal Branding Basics for 2011, by Chris Brogan. Only Chris could use the word “basics” and have it change a way of thinking. Kind of disgusting, really 🙂

26. You’re Already a Community Manager, by Amber Naslund. And she should know!

27. Ask Better Questions, by Chris Brogan. Well, what can I say. I look up to Chris, and there’s a reason for it. Waddya gonna do ’bout it?

On Marketing

28. Marketing Outsourcing, by Stephane Poirier. A brilliant post, really and truly.

29. Dear Marketing and PR Pros: You’re Still Pushing, by Beth Harte. Beth is a great mind, and this post really exemplifies why. If you’re pushing, you’re not really all about the customer.

30. 12 Questions to ask BEFORE investing in mobile marketing assets, by Joe Ruiz. As mobile starts to catch on fire, this is a great fort of knowledge to reference.

31. When the Orchestra Plays Instead of a Solo, by Mary Biever. A truly great way to explain the value of integrated marketing.

32. I’ve Got a Number in Mind, by Dawn Westerberg. It’s not even just local anymore. It’s one on one, individual to individual.

33. The Three Amigos: Email, Blogging, and Social Sharing, by Jay Baer. A brilliant analysis of why using multiple channels at one time can really open the door to some amazing marketing.

Blogging (Yes, some of my favorite blog posts were about blogging. Let’s move on, shall we?)

34 What is the purpose of your blog? by Suzanne Vara. Seems like an easy question to answer. Not so much, though.

35. Still not sure about launching your blog? by Stanford Smith. This is one of Stan’s shortest posts. I also think it’s one of his best.

36. Why you shouldn’t just blog for yourself, by Stanford Smith again. He is the king of bloggy motivation, at least in my world. This post made me realize that this guy was going to be headed straight towards superstardom.

37. How to use a writing frame, by Chris Brogan. If you’re new to blogging, or if you struggle with writing in general, this post may be just what you’re looking for.

38. The Eminem Guide to Becoming a Writing & Marketing Machine, by Sean Platt at Copyblogger. Even if you aren’t an Eminem fan, you’ll find this post pretty amazing. I am an Eminem fan, so I enjoyed this post all the more.

39. Women in Blogging: 125 Fearless Female Bloggers, by Kristi Hines. Well, aside from the fact that I almost passed out when I saw I was on this list, there is so much to learn. Kristi did such a nice job of rounding up women from all different kinds of industries. It was an honor to be part of that crowd!

Social Media

40. Full Disclosure: I think Social Media Marketing is BS, by Tom Moradpour. An interesting blog title for a fellow who is involved a great deal in Social Media Marketing, non? I thought so, too 🙂

41. Did Social Networking Kill the High School Reunion? by Chase Adams. An intriguing thought that certainly has rattled around in my brain. What do you think?

42. Building Relationships that Matter, by Suzanne Vara. This was Suzanne’s response to Chris Brogan’s post about her. While some people would just gush, Suzanne sent out the light to other lucky people in her community, including me. It’s what Social Media is all about.

43 Let Your Voice Be Heard, by Amber Cleveland and Kay Whitaker. Such a simple message, again, but it’s true. Social Media has given us all a voice. Why not use it?

44. We probably wouldn’t be friends in real life, by Dawn Westerberg. I love this post, still, and I hope it resonates with you as much as it did with me.

45. We were right, most Social Media numbers are useless, by Mack Collier. The title pretty much says it all. Great points. Very encouraging if you’re new to this world!

Branding

44. Is there a crisis in crisis management? by Cheryl Burgess. This is more about the dangers brands face online than branding itself, but still, a very important read.

45. Why personal branding is not just an exercise in egoism, by Cristian Gonzales. Can you build your personal brand without becoming an egomaniac?

46. What’s your MO? Does your brand have conversation starters? by Tom Moradpour. Another jewel by Tom, and a way to promote Movember as well. Not bad, eh?

47. How to manage an enterprise Twitter presence: Avatars, account structure, and basic response methodology, by Olivier Blanchard (aka The Brand Builder). This also easily could have gone into my “Blows my mind” category, but, you kind of have to have Oliver in the branding section. I mean, really.

Influence

48. Google and Bing reveal that social influence bumps search engine results, by Mark W. Schaefer. A fairly recent post, but truly fantastic analysis.

49. Improve your influence, by Chris Brogan. Everything I believe about Social Media influence. He takes all my best ideas, I swear 🙂

50. 6 common habits of highly effective social media rockstars, part 1: The speaking circuit, by Olivier Blanchard. Some interesting points about what real rock-stardom could, or should, look like.

51. The Great Influence Debate – What if Watts and Gladwell are both wrong and right? by Jeff Wilson. I keep coming back to this post because it bowled me over. Give it a read!

Woman Power

52. I hope that you love- or despise – my book cover, by Carol Roth. A very interesting insight into the minefields out there in the publishing world.

53.  Twisted Sisters, by Tamsen McMahon. I love this post. It says so much, and it still resonates with me as strongly as it did 2 months ago.

Motivation – of all kinds

54. Entrepreneurs Share Their 95 Balls-to-the-walls crazy (BTWC) Business Goals, by Carol Roth. When you read some of these goals, you can’t help but think of your own.

55. Diary of a wimpy blogger, by Stan Smith. Read this, then get blogging. Immediately.

56.  Can we really just bury our failures? by Suzanne Vara. Inspired by her Jets, this post got me thinking about all kinds of ways Suzanne’s words could be used as motivation.

57. Your Trajectory and Course-Correction, by Chris Garrett (at My Escape Velocity). All of Chris’s posts are great, but this one has really stuck with me and resonated.

58. Don’t fear making the leap to new beginnings, by Lou Imbriano. This post is so beautifully written, so motivational, personal, and it has a great message to boot. My kind of post, Lou. Well done!

On Social Good

59. This is Tanner, a post by Catherine (HerBadMother). This was the background to the campaign run by Scott Stratten on Twitter, which was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed.

60. Air Canada Ignores Dying Boy Til He Goes Viral, by Lisa Barone. Sadly, Lisa’s community of commenters got nasty in some instances, but her post captures the power anyone who witnessed the Tutus for Tanner campaign felt.

61. Teens and Social Media Bullying – Why Find Help App is So Important, by Danny Brown. I found this post to be so helpful that I actually was able to base a chat around it on Twitter, and Danny, being a gentleman, joined in. Layers of good. Like a great cake!

62. Hope: the 1st update, by Megin for Elolam. Learn more about this group. They are doing GREAT things!

63. The New Deal for Charity – You can make a difference, by the ladies of Sterling Hope, Amber Cleveland and Kay Whitaker – using a new business to do social good, and blogging about it. Yep.

64. Thank you! a blog from Tom Moradpour reporting on the Didier Drogba campaign, another amazing Twitter campaign for good.

65. How to be a SuperDad, by Amber Osborne. A bit on our “MitchGiving” campaign for Mitch Neff and his family.

66. Becoming Visible, a post Chris Brogan wrote highlighting the immense good that Mark Horvath is doing in the world.

On Bullying

67.  I was Bullied, by Julie Mangano. A heart-wrenching, brave blog post.

68. Confessions of a Bully, by Kat Caverly. This is an amazing post, and I’m so glad Lady Greetums shared it.

69. On Bullying, by Jim Mitchem. An amazing post and a great perspective.

70. Was I a Bully? By Danny Garcia for The Online Safe House. I love this post. It’s like you’re jumping inside Danny’s head. Gently…

71. Bullying will never go away. So how can we minimize the impacts? by Patrick Prothe for The Online Safe House. Patrick was such a great help this year in blogging for my side project. I owe him a lot.

On Twitter

72. What Twitter’s $200 Million Cash Infusion Means to You, by Heidi Cohen. This is one of Heidi’s best posts, I think. Her analysis is spot on.

73. Being a Twitter snob is a good thing, by Mitch Joel. I still think about this post regularly. Sometimes I think I still disagree with it. Other times, I think I might be coming around a bit. Hard to tell 🙂

74. Bringing down the Twitter snobs, by Mark Schaefer. Of course, I still think about Mark’s response, too.

75. The #usguys, by Chase Adams. The post that outlined the first vision of this Twitter phenomenon.

76. Slinging #Hashtags at the Virtual Diner, by Karen Lund. This post could be in the “posts that made me cry” section. Karen did a beautiful job (unsolicited) of hitting all of the points that Stan and I were hoping for when we started #Tweetdiner on Twitter 3 months ago. Truly a lovely tribute, and a pretty darned good explanation of what Twitter communities can be about.

On Doing It Right

77. Are Real Estate Agents Interested in Doing Social Media Right or Just Doing It? By Maya Paveza. This post is specific to the Real Estate world, but I think the question applies for everyone.

78. What People Care About (Not Social Media), by Geoff Livingston. Of course, doing it right in Social Media may, just may, not be the most important thing ever. Ssssh.

79. You’re Doing it Wrong, by Chris Brogan. True, this post is from 2009, but Chris sure did link to it a lot this year. So, I’m counting it. Because, well. I am.

Miscellany Goodness

80. I am a marketing stylist, by Lisa Alexander. I just adore Lisa, and this post always brings a smile to my face when I think about it.

81. The College Drop-off: Can we cut the crying parents some slack? By Ann Handley. I just thought this was such a great mixture of happy and sad, proud and, well, sad. I think about it a lot when I think back on my own college days 🙂

82. The Future of Marketing, by Tommy Walker. Tommy talks about all of the new marketing techniques the scare the heck out of me but make him happy.

83. An Exercise to Develop Your Observational Skills, by Mark Dykeman. I still think about this post a lot. It says so much about the current state of our society.

84. You’re famous, by Seth Godin. I don’t usually find that a lot of Seth’s blog posts stick with me, but this one did. It’s such a positive message. I like positive.

85. The Privatization of Culture and the Illusion of Depth, by Julien Smith. In his most recent post, Julie makes fun of this post and says it was way too obscure. Well, I liked it, Julien. So there. Phhhht.

The #30Thursday Posts

For 86-95, check out holiday reading, a collection of these posts.

Some of these posts are in my top faves on their own, some are not. They’re all worth reading, for sure.

And five posts I wrote meself

I guess it’s okay to pick five of your own favorite posts too, right?

96. I never thought it would happen to me: lessons on community

97. Agencies Can’t.

98. What Lincoln’s Generals Can Teach Us

99. Where will you be 50 years from now?

100. and just for fun (and bitterness), My open letter to LeBron.

I hope you enjoy these 100 posts. I enjoyed reflecting on all of them. Happy Holidays, to those who celebrate.

Filed Under: Marketing Talk

How to Handle Haters

by Margie Clayman

Lately, and I don’t want to get into any specifics here, I’ve seen a disturbing trend. Maybe you’ve noticed it too if you hang out on Twitter. If you don’t then maybe it hasn’t been as prevalent. But lately, I’ve seen a lot of “hater” behavior. My friend Nic Wirtz mentioned a similar trend during the Tweetdiner chat this past Saturday. Now, just like silly bands, hater behavior can come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. For example:

Arnie the Argumentative Aardvark: This kind of hater will argue with certain people until said people react, usually in a not good way.

Sally the Slap-Happy Sloth: It’s really easy to “slap” people, especially in Twitter. Sally figures that since the Twitter stream rolls by so quickly, the person she is slapping may not even notice. It’s really easy, in 140 characters, to take a little slap at somebody.

Eva the Explosive Emu: This kind of hater seems to go along all nice and happy until suddenly, for no apparent reason, they explode at somebody, taking that poor somebody off guard.

The list goes on and on. Maybe you have some other members of the set at home.

Here’s the problem, though. When you are on the receiving end of this kind of haterific behavior, the pressure is on you, not the hater, to act in a mature fashion.

Bummer, right? However, I’ve seen this played out over and over again. Someone says something mean to person A. Person A retaliates. Everyone says tsk tsk tsk to person A. For whatever reason, no matter how unfair it is, the person who reacts gets a lot more attention than the person who initiated the squabble in the first place.

Avoid becoming Victor the Victimized Vampire Bat

There are a lot of ways to handle haters without making yourself look bad. The following are some of my recommendations. Maybe you have some as well?

• Shine out an aura of unending patience: The online world is kind of nice in that the general public only sees what you type. If you find that someone is driving you batty, go ahead and punch a pillow, kick a blanket, hit your bed, but when you come back to Twitter or your blog or wherever it is, be as calm and as still as a sea in Summer. Agree that the Arnie the argumentative aardvark is totally entitled to his point of view. Ask Ellen the explosive emu if everything is okay. If a person is truly trying to be a hater, nothing will upset them more. If something more friendly is going on, you’ll get down to the nugget of it rather than becoming an explosive emu yourself.

• Ignore the person: I know, this seems like it might be really boring, but just a thought – if you see a train crash, do you drive your car right into the middle of it, or do you drive away as fast as you can (while maybe looking at the madness in your rear view mirror)? If someone is trying to bait you into an online fight because they’re having a bad day, just refuse to participate. If they keep bugging you, unfollow them, report them as spam, or tell your friends what’s going on so you can get some back-up.

• Pay more attention to people who are treating you well: A lot of haters are fed by the attention they receive for their unseemly behavior. It’s kind of like Ghost Busters II, which altogether was not a great movie, but remember how the slime kept feeding off of everyone’s misery? Online haters are just like that sometimes. So, instead of blasting out a really happy and uplifting song, sing out praises for valued members of your community. Tweet out really good blog posts. Show the hater what he or she could experience if only they would stop hating. And if they’re just plain hungry for misery, let them go somewhere else.

• Explain to the hater that their behavior is unacceptable: I view this as a last resort, as it’s only a step or two away from engaging. However, if you’ve had friendly communications with the person, it sometimes doesn’t hurt to send an email or a personal message just to say, “Hey, you’re really not doing yourself any favors here. I’m concerned about you.” Now, you could also tweet this out in public but that just seems really passive aggressive. And it’s feeding the beast.

Don’t fight fire with fire

Whether you choose any of these methods or none of them, one core fact remains. In the online world, you are what you type. Very often, your followers or the people in your community will only see what you are saying to someone else. If they see you ranting and raving at someone, it’s kind of like seeing someone ranting and raving in the middle of a sidewalk for no apparent reason. They don’t see that someone is irking you. They don’t know that you have been patient for 27 months and now finally you’re losing it. They just see what you’re doing and what you’re typing. This is always the case. You never get a break. So before you retaliate, try to weigh the usefulness of your fireball against what it might cost you in terms of trust and credibility from people who like and respect you. Usually – this makes the decision pretty easy.

Oh, and by the way…

It’s really easy to come off as a hater in a place like Twitter-world. People don’t know you. They don’t know the tone of voice you have in your head. Always play on the safe side, even if you think you’re getting to know someone well enough to joke around with them. As somebody really smart said one time, “Better to be safe than sorry.”

Agree? Disagree? Hate? Love? Share in the comments below!

Image by Felix atsoram. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/atsoram

Filed Under: Marketing Talk

Can the executive image be feminine?

by Margie Clayman

This post is part of the Executive Image series that Daria (aka @MominManagement) began a short while ago. I am honored that she invited me to participate along with her and five other amazing women. For more about the series, visit Daria’s website, MominManagement.

Let me ask you a question. When you think of an executive or a boss or a manager, what image pops into your head? Do you picture a man or a woman?

I like to think of myself as pretty progressive when it comes to gender equality. After all, I am a woman. I am striving to make it in a world that has heretofore been dominated by men. However, even I, coming from that perspective, have to admit that when I think of the “executive image,” I think of a man.

I’m not the only one

I decided to see how ruler of the world, Google, envisions the executive image. I did an image search for “executive image.” Here is what I found:

So what do we see here? Most of the images are dominated by men. Where there are women in the picture, they seem to blend in with the men, so it’s not even easy to tell, with a quick glance, that there are women there.

What is going on here?

There’s no doubt that women have made a lot of headway in the business world. There are a lot of woman-owned companies out there. Some of the most brilliant entrepreneurs are women. And yet, when we think of an “executive” we still think either of a man or of a woman who is dressed like a man. I’ve been thinking about this issue since the 2008 presidential election. Do you remember what a huge deal was made out of Hillary Clinton and her pant suits? Regardless of your politics, you have to admit that was a bit strange. Was she being chided for not being feminine enough? Was she being chided because it was perceived she was trying to give off the same power that men give off in their power suits? I struggled with that whole affair. I’m a professional woman. Are my fashion decisions being weighed that much? If so, are men undergoing the same ordeal? It doesn’t really seem like it.

Newsflash: Women, even powerful women, are not men

It seems to me there should be a widely accepted vision of what feminine power should look like, and it seems to me like the image of the executive female should be independent and different from the male image. After all, women are different. Many women approach leadership differently from men. Do women, do female executives, need to dress like a man to get their power across?

The minefield of women’s fashion in business

The decisions a man has to make to look “professional” or “executive” are fairly simple, really. A suit of some sort, a tie, maybe cuff links, maybe a vest. The general look has been established, as that image from Google shows. For a woman wanting to evoke power and femininity, the issue becomes pretty complex. Here are some examples.

The dress: If a female executive wears a dress, what kind of dress should it be? If it’s sleeveless, she may be perceived as being too flirty or too informal. If she is wearing long sleeves or a dress with a long skirt, the perception may be that she is kind of rigid and impersonal. Maybe she appears old-fashioned.

The skirt: Similar problems exist for the woman who is an executive and yet who likes to wear skirts. What is too short? What is too long? If a woman wears a skirt that is too short, is she trying to just show off her legs?

The pant suit: Okay, let’s talk about the pant suit. There are some pant suits that are kind of nice. Others are kind of atrocious. Some try to bridge the feminine and masculine worlds while others veer more towards the feminine. People may say, “Okay, what kind of message is she trying to send, anyway?

These are just the major facets of a woman’s wardrobe. A woman gets judged by her jewelry. Her lipstick may be too red, or maybe she doesn’t wear any. A woman’s shoes are perceived of as messengers. Why does one woman wear flat shoes while another wears high heels? What is that all about?

And don’t’ even begin the conversation about hair length, style, and color.

Is this a problem of male perception, female perception, or both?

What do you think this is all about? Is this all symptomatic of the fact that women are still associated with being “soft” and not powerful? Has the glass ceiling not really been broken, but only cracked? Should we begin to analyze men in a similar fashion (pardon the pun) to make things seem more equal, or would that just confuse things all the more?

As a woman in the business world, I have tended to gravitate towards the pin stripes. But it bothers me. Why does looking professional translate in my mind to dressing in a fashion similar to men?

What is your take on all of this?

Filed Under: Musings

Make sure you are walking your talk

by Margie Clayman

Tell me if you’ve had an experience like this before.

Once upon a time, I saw a link to a blog that seemed pretty interesting. It was a somewhat controversial blog post, the general jist of which being that the blogger in question was always getting blamed for not following through on what was promised. “I always comment back to my commenters” was one of the statements in the post. Well, being the sympathetic, heartily interested type, I left a comment. It seemed like the blogger was making good on their promise. Lots and lots of comments back. But then, after about a day, the comments stopped. This was about 3 or 4 months ago, and do you know what? I still haven’t gotten a response back.

I’m not the kind of person who really stresses if I don’t get a response back on a comment. However, if you make a big stink about how good you are at replying and then you don’t, it makes me stroke my invisible beard.

It can happen a million times a day

Now here’s the reason why this post is not going to turn into a “boy did that person smell like old baked beans” post. We’ve been talking about the quid pro quo nature of Social Media, right? The “give to get” modus operandi for success. This means that you are constantly faced with a situation where you could be saying yes to people because you honestly want to help them in whatever way you can. You say yes to reading a blog post. You say yes to proofreading something. You say yes to offering advice.

In addition to all of that, there are blog posts you write talking about how you’ll never do this or you’ll always do that.

Are you keeping track of that?

Keep it simple

It’s not a bad thing to have high objectives for yourself. In fact, it’s a very good thing. But in the world of Social Media, your words leave prints, and people seem to have a knack for remembering your words exactly when you don’t live up to them (it’s an odd quirk, that). One way around this problem is to verbalize your goals, but to be a little…imprecise about them. For example:

Instead of saying, “I will respond to every single comment,” set the expectation that you will do your best to respond to comments.

Instead of saying, “Yes, I can definitely do that for you,” set an expectation for the person. “I’ll try to get to that tomorrow. Is that okay?”

Honesty is really important in Social Media. A lot of people talk about transparency, but this is a little bit different. It’s honesty in the old-fashioned, “I mean what I say, Horton Hears a Who” kind of way. So, if someone asks you to read a 75 page novelette and you know you just don’t have the time for it, say so. Right then. My experience has been that if you say no (apologetically is nice), the person will rush to find someone else. If you dangle a person, they will start to get frustrated, and rightfully so.

Before you hit send or publish, do a gut check

If you are not sure if you are over-promising, take a period of time and really look carefully at what you are saying in your blogs and/or in your tweets. Are you using words like “never” or “always?” Are you using words like “yes” instead of “maybe”? If you were a stranger coming to your blog, would you have certain expectations (there’s that word again) based on the language you see?

The bull in the china shop

Walking your talk is a very delicate dance in the online world. You’re communicating a lot with a lot of different people. The more you make good on your promises, the better your reputation will become, which is great. But if you make a real big disconnect between a promise and an action, it can be like a bull in a china shop, and all of that hard work building trust will go down the toilet.

As we have discussed, we can’t control others’ expectations of us, but we can strive to set our own expectations, and we can strive to live up to those expectations. Make sure the expectations you are placing on yourself are achievable and realistic. Better to create small goals and always meet them then to publicly set a large goal and miss it.

Does this make sense? Any questions?

Filed Under: Marketing Talk

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