Archives for April 2011

This post may not make some people very happy, so I’ll try to be as gentle as possible. First, let me get a few things out of the way.

1. Not every blog post is a masterpiece. I have written more than my fair share of duds.

2. Just because a post may not be great doesn’t mean you are a bad writer or should give up.

3. You are judged by the content you share almost as much (if not moreso) as by the content you create yourself.

Over the past few days, I have gone to links that people I respect have shared via Twitter or Facebook or even their blogs. In some cases, I have been happy and impressed, as per usual. But lately, seemingly more and more often, I click on a link and I think, “Really?”Maybe the build-up in promoting the link sets me up for what could only be disappointment. Maybe the person’s reputation for sharing great information has set me up with the idea that everything that person shares will be excellent. Whatever the case may be, I have read the post per a recommendation and have left with a feeling best described as “Hmm.”

This begs the question, and I don’t have any particular answer in mind, “When should your promotion of content have more to do with the content than your relationship with the content creator?”

I know that sometimes I want to help someone out who has been helping me out, but that particular day’s post for that person just doesn’t ring my chimes. I may comment on it, but I only share content that I really and truly believe is top notch. If you have tons of spelling or grammatical errors, I don’t feel like I can pass that on to my community. If your blog post is mostly ranting and raving, I’m probably not going to share that post.

I know that there’s a lot of pressure to promote other people. I know that tweeting out a person’s blog post is a great way to build a relationship or get on their radar. Does that mean you should randomly tweet out posts that you normally wouldn’t give any thought to?

What do you think?

OK, OK, I admit it. For the last couple of years, Biggest Loser has been my guilty pleasure. I know I’m not alone! There’s something about the show – particularly the weigh-in segment at the end, that really keeps me interested, even though most Wednesdays you’ll hear me say how stupid the last episode was. As I was watching a compressed version last night (it was shortened to an hour to make room for the premiere of The Voice) I realized that actually, you can learn a lot of profound lessons about online engagement just by thinking about the intricacies of this silly reality show. Here are five lessons that came to my mind.

1. Alliances are important: Especially this season, people have stayed on the show because they created close relationships with other people. When the person is on the chopping block, those friends come in handy. In fact, this is a trait most reality shows share. The role of alliances online is woefully under-appreciated. Alliances mean that you have people who will stand up for you when someone is trying to bring you down. Alliances mean you comment on their posts and they comment on yours. Alliances mean you help each other out. I’d be off this online “show” were it not for the alliances I’ve formed.

Are you building alliances out there? Are you valuing the ones you have?

2. Alliances can break down: People are people. That means they can be endlessly loyal, endlessly fickle, or a bit of both. Sometimes, a person who you thought was an ally can turn on you. It’s a sad fact. The online world, like Biggest Loser, is extremely competitive. While it’s not as clear what the prize is for the online game, we all feel like there is one. If that prize starts to seem too glittery and too precious, your ally may move on to other (I won’t say greener) pastures. Hopefully, you will not abandon other people who look to you as an ally!

What would you do if one of your allies turned on  you today? How would you continue to interact with that person? Would you?

3. You aren’t REALLY competing against other people: On the Biggest Loser, contestants aren’t compared with each other based on the number of pounds lost. Rather, they are compared with each other based on the percentage of weight loss. That means a person who loses just three pounds could beat someone who loses 7 pounds. In the online world, you’re competing for attention or for “wavelength,” but because everyone has different objectives and different means of measuring success, you can’t really compete against people on a one-to-one basis. This is important to keep in mind as you engage with other people. If they achieve a certain amount of success, that doesn’t mean they’re “beating” you. It just means that for them and their standards, they’re having a good moment.

Do you have your objectives clearly in mind? If not, it will seem like you’re competing against anyone who comes along.

4. Motivate and inspire the people around you: One of my favorite things about Biggest Loser is that the players begin to look to each other for guidance. They don’t just depend on the “experts.” In the online world, it seems easy when you first begin to find the “ninjas” and just look to them for advice. However, as you dig in more and more, you find people who really seem to be on the same wavelength as you. Their actions inspire and motivate you, and when they’re feeling kind of downtrodden, you can inspire and motivate them. Sometimes that means tough love and harsh talk. Sometimes that means a hug or a pat on the back.

Are you sharing your knowledge with others as you learn. Are you letting others share your good days? Are you asking for help when you need it and giving help when others need it?

5. Lose the weight: Obviously, the key point in Biggest Loser is that the contestants need to lose the weight. But you learn something as you watch the show. It’s not just physical weight these folks need to lose. It’s all of the emotional baggage that got them there in the first place. When you engage with people online, you need to remember that they don’t live inside your head. They don’t know that this time of year is tough on you. They don’t know that this is the anniversary of your divorce or of a death in your family. They just know they’re talking to you online. When you engage with people, you need to lose that weight you’re carrying with you. They can’t see it. They don’t know it’s there. However, it’s extremely easy – so easy – to take offense during hard times if you lose track of that fact.

Are you reacting to people out of feelings that have nothing to do with them? Are you looking for reasons to feel offended or hurt because something in real life is not going well for you? To engage with people online, that all needs to fall by the wayside, at least until you get to know them better.

So what do you think? How are you doing in the reality TV show known as the online world? Are you building up your alliances, keeping your eye on YOUR prize, and inspiring or motivating others?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

This is post #42 in The Engagement Series. Don’t forget, you can always hit that subscribe button if you’re worried about missing a post!

Every once in awhile, I go through a huge Eddie Izzard kick. I was introduced to Izzard’s unique brand of stand-up comedy when I was in grad school. Someone loaned me a tape of Dress to Kill. It was funny (brilliantly funny in fact), but I knew I had found my comedic true love when Izzard did his bit about squirrels.

“And have you noticed, squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, and then sometimes they stop and look around as if they’re thinking, ‘Oh, did I leave the gas on? Wait, no, I’m a squirrel!’ And then they go right back to eating.”

I own two DVDs of Izzard’s work now. Definite Article was my first purchase, and Dress to Kill was my second. I watch these DVDs to enjoy myself, but also to study. Izzard is not your typical stand-up comedian, after all. There’s something rather engaging about his style and delivery. After studying these aspects of his work (woe is me, a blogger’s life), I drew up a few lessons that I think you could use to create more engaging blog posts.

[Read more…] about 7 ways to engage with your readers Eddie Izzard style

Last week, I decided to try something new – Vlogging. I got a comment that was not very nice, and I let it convince me that maybe this big new thing was simply not for me.

A week later, the words of many friends resonated. I remembered one important lesson that I need to share with you – if you want to do something, don’t let anyone, including yourself, throw you off course.

darn the torpedoes