Musings

It seems like today is the day that a lot of people are using to post resolutions and plans for 2011. Not being one to swim against the tide (I love to eat salmon but couldn’t live as one), I thought I’d follow suit.

Chris Brogan often talks about picking 3 words that you want to use to encapsulate your goals for the new year. I’ve been thinking about this for about…2 months now. You know how verbose I am if you come here often, so choosing just 3 words for such a big topic is a major challenge. Still, the words in the title are the words I came up with after all of that. So let me explain a bit more.

Teaching and Learning

You may or may not have noticed, but a few weeks ago my blog started to change a bit. Certainly from my brief interlude in attempting to pull 27 blog posts into my own blog every day, but also from what had come before. I’ve begun to approach this blog as a chance to pass on what I have learned and learn what you can teach me in response.

In 2011, or, well, starting now (I am always running early), this trend will continue. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, there will be a blog that will be published with the fervent hope that it will be helpful. On other days, I may post about other marketing type things because I just can’t quit those.

I believe firmly that a blog post is not a place to preach. Rather, I think it’s the spark that can ignite a conversation. I don’t want this blog site to become a place where you read, absorb what you want, and then go away. I want to hear from you. Because that’s where I can learn. I’m definitely still learning. Always will be.

Because I want to make sure that what I’m blogging about is useful and interesting to you, I’ve created a page here on my site where you can ask questions and suggest topics for me to blog about. I will do the best I can to keep up with that section because, after all, I’m writing this for you.

I am also hoping to increase my reading. There are few more enjoyable ways to learn than to read. Books, your blog posts, e-newsletters – I need to absorb more than I send out. Otherwise, I’ll just end up writing about bananas or something.

Live

This may seem kind of obvious, but I want to explain what I mean.

There are a lot of things I am hoping to accomplish in 2011. I want to learn how to cook a lot of new dishes. I want to get back to a specific weight. And I am set to go to my first real-life marketing conference in June, which I’m VERY excited about. I want to add a lot of new experiences into my reservoir of experiences. I want to continue to grow and improve myself, a journey which will never end. I also want to make sure I take a bit more time to smell the roses (and geraniums, and pansies, and petunias). It’s so easy to let work, in real life and virtually, become a huge blanket over everything else you do. I have a ball at work. I have a ball here. But I also love sunlight, and so far, that doesn’t come out of my computer screen! For the next 3 months it won’t be coming out of the sky in Northeast Ohio, either, but that’s a different story.

So that’s what’s going on here. Teaching. Learning. Living. Maintaining a balance between these and other subsets of my goals for the coming year.

I can’t wait.

Hope you will stick along for the ride!

Image by Billy Alexander. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ba1969

This post is part of the Executive Image series that Daria (aka @MominManagement) began a short while ago. I am honored that she invited me to participate along with her and five other amazing women. For more about the series, visit Daria’s website, MominManagement.

Let me ask you a question. When you think of an executive or a boss or a manager, what image pops into your head? Do you picture a man or a woman?

I like to think of myself as pretty progressive when it comes to gender equality. After all, I am a woman. I am striving to make it in a world that has heretofore been dominated by men. However, even I, coming from that perspective, have to admit that when I think of the “executive image,” I think of a man.

I’m not the only one

I decided to see how ruler of the world, Google, envisions the executive image. I did an image search for “executive image.” Here is what I found:

So what do we see here? Most of the images are dominated by men. Where there are women in the picture, they seem to blend in with the men, so it’s not even easy to tell, with a quick glance, that there are women there.

What is going on here?

There’s no doubt that women have made a lot of headway in the business world. There are a lot of woman-owned companies out there. Some of the most brilliant entrepreneurs are women. And yet, when we think of an “executive” we still think either of a man or of a woman who is dressed like a man. I’ve been thinking about this issue since the 2008 presidential election. Do you remember what a huge deal was made out of Hillary Clinton and her pant suits? Regardless of your politics, you have to admit that was a bit strange. Was she being chided for not being feminine enough? Was she being chided because it was perceived she was trying to give off the same power that men give off in their power suits? I struggled with that whole affair. I’m a professional woman. Are my fashion decisions being weighed that much? If so, are men undergoing the same ordeal? It doesn’t really seem like it.

Newsflash: Women, even powerful women, are not men

It seems to me there should be a widely accepted vision of what feminine power should look like, and it seems to me like the image of the executive female should be independent and different from the male image. After all, women are different. Many women approach leadership differently from men. Do women, do female executives, need to dress like a man to get their power across?

The minefield of women’s fashion in business

The decisions a man has to make to look “professional” or “executive” are fairly simple, really. A suit of some sort, a tie, maybe cuff links, maybe a vest. The general look has been established, as that image from Google shows. For a woman wanting to evoke power and femininity, the issue becomes pretty complex. Here are some examples.

The dress: If a female executive wears a dress, what kind of dress should it be? If it’s sleeveless, she may be perceived as being too flirty or too informal. If she is wearing long sleeves or a dress with a long skirt, the perception may be that she is kind of rigid and impersonal. Maybe she appears old-fashioned.

The skirt: Similar problems exist for the woman who is an executive and yet who likes to wear skirts. What is too short? What is too long? If a woman wears a skirt that is too short, is she trying to just show off her legs?

The pant suit: Okay, let’s talk about the pant suit. There are some pant suits that are kind of nice. Others are kind of atrocious. Some try to bridge the feminine and masculine worlds while others veer more towards the feminine. People may say, “Okay, what kind of message is she trying to send, anyway?

These are just the major facets of a woman’s wardrobe. A woman gets judged by her jewelry. Her lipstick may be too red, or maybe she doesn’t wear any. A woman’s shoes are perceived of as messengers. Why does one woman wear flat shoes while another wears high heels? What is that all about?

And don’t’ even begin the conversation about hair length, style, and color.

Is this a problem of male perception, female perception, or both?

What do you think this is all about? Is this all symptomatic of the fact that women are still associated with being “soft” and not powerful? Has the glass ceiling not really been broken, but only cracked? Should we begin to analyze men in a similar fashion (pardon the pun) to make things seem more equal, or would that just confuse things all the more?

As a woman in the business world, I have tended to gravitate towards the pin stripes. But it bothers me. Why does looking professional translate in my mind to dressing in a fashion similar to men?

What is your take on all of this?

As you may or may not know, every Saturday night at 9 PM EST, Stanford Smith and I co-host an informal chat called #Tweetdiner on Twitter. The goal is help people get used to Twitter and Twitter chats and also to answer questions that have been bothering people throughout the week. We have fun, too, I’ll have to admit.

Last night’s chat began with a tremendous question from my new friend @Veola_JustAsIAm. She asked whether she should have two Twitter accounts, one for personal use and one for professional use. This created quite the conversation, so I thought I would round up some thoughts here and see if we can continue this important conversation beyond the realm of #Tweetdiner.

Brand Symbiosis

Amber Naslund just published a post this week that she called Brand Symbiosis: Balancing Personal and Professional Online. In this post, Amber talks about the fact that in the online world, it’s nearly impossible to separate our professional selves from our personal selves. In fact, these portions of our personality (along with others) help feed each other – hence the symbiosis. We are able to enrich our professional persona by humanizing ourselves (with personality). SpamBots do not tend to be very personable once you get to know them. Our personal selves are enriched by the learning and sharing that we do as our professional selves.

A million and one questions

Brand symbiosis is probably how I would characterize what I try to do via my blog and my Twitter account. I’ll have fun, I’ll joke around, I certainly talk about things not business-related. But I also never forget where I am. I act and talk as if I was visiting a client, because, let’s be honest, it’s entirely possible that your existing and future clients are seeing everything you’re saying and doing anyway.

Where this gets complicated is when you get down to the tiny details that go into making an online persona that don’t often get discussed a lot in general conversations. Here are some questions that might be bothering you if you are trying to balance your professional and your personal life online.

Should my avatar/Twitter background/Blog bio show pictures of my family and me, or should it just be a professional picture of me smiling?

Should I list my faith in my Twitter bio and in my blog background or should I leave it out?

Should I comment on this or that political situation or should I censor portions of what I really believe?

Should I divulge that I am having health problems (or had them in the past) or should I keep that to myself?

And the questions go on and on, right back to Viola’s question. Should I have two Twitter accounts and two blogs so that I can get all of my thoughts out there?

How would you introduce yourself in a crowded room?

Your Twitter account or your blog – they’re kind of like going around shaking hands in a really crowded room. So let’s say you’ve gone to BlogWorld and there’s a tweet-up there. As you’re going around shaking hands, what do you say? Do you say, “Hi, I’m Sally and I’m a mom of three?” Do you say, “Hi, I’m Bob, and I’m the CMO for xyz corporation?” If you are using Social Media on a professional basis, the expectation is not (or in my opinion should not be) that we will get to know you like a best friend. The expectation is that ultimately, you’re out here trying to make money and grow your business, whatever that may be.

In the end, like everything else, the answers to all of these questions that come up will have to be answered based on what you want to accomplish. Because I work for a family-owned agency, and because the family owning the agency is my family, I feel responsible for being my best self out here in the online world. I don’t talk about religion or politics anywhere in my online reality even though I love discussing both. I don’t use swear words online (I’ll plead the fifth on whether I hold to that in real life). I don’t reserve those portions of my personality for a more personal account, because ultimately, it would get traced back to me here, I believe. I talk to you here as I would talk to you if you called me when I’m at work.

What works for you?

Ironically, how you choose to handle the balance of professional and personal is a personal decision only you can make. If you feel like censoring oneself is inauthentic, then don’t do it. If you feel like your religious beliefs are essential to an understanding of how you do business, then you need that there.

There is just one caution I’d toss out there if you choose to run multiple accounts. The chances are that there will be some overlap in the people who follow you and interact with you. Be prepared for the personal account to still have some impact on some of the people tied to your professional account. This online world – it’s fluid, and it’s easy to move from one place to another.

How are you approaching the balance between personal and professional? What questions are standing in front of you that you’d like to discuss? Let’s talk about them here!

image by Jan Willem Geertsma. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/jan-willem

Don’t you hate it when someone who isn’t really involved in “Social Media stuff” says that it’s just so narcissistic? You try to say, “Well, no, it’s about sharing and giving information, and…and…” You have all kinds of answers, right?

So let me ask you a question.

If I go to your Twitter account or your blog page right now, what will I think I know about you?

It’s something perhaps we in this space don’t think a lot about. We think about how we want to project ourselves. We think about what we are putting out there. But maybe we need to approach it differently on occasion. What are others seeing? What are people “getting” if they don’t have the full context of our brains and souls in mind?

Here are some questions. Let me know how you think I or someone else would answer these about, well, you.

What does your picture say about you? What do I “know” if I look at your avatar? Are you an egg in front of a pastel background? Do you not take yourself seriously enough to put a real picture in there? Are you a happy person? Kind of distant? Do I know if you’re male or female?

What does your bio say about you? What do I know about you after reading your bio on your blog or on Twitter? Do I know where you work and what you do? Do I not know anything because there’s nothing there? Are you hiding something? Do I think that you are extremely religious? Do I think that you care about baseball more than what you are tweeting about?

What do your tweets say about you? Do your tweets tell me that you are a vulgar person who swears a lot? Do I think you are not really serious about your work? Do you seem to watch television more than working your job? Do you want to talk with me, to me, or at me? Am I worried about working with you because you seem too goofy or childish, or am I afraid of you because you seem confrontational or snobby? Or do I think we’re on the way to creating a strong friendship?

What does your blog say about you? Do I know what you are passionate about? Does it look like you take the time to proofread and do a spellcheck? Do I think you are phoning it in, or do I think you are working your butt off? Do I think you love your job or hate it? Do I know what you are trying to do?

If you didn’t know you, what would you think? What do you think you know about other people? Have you found out that you’re right? Have you found out that you’re wrong?

Do I know all of the wrong things about you?

What are you going to do about it?

Let’s talk it over.

One thing you probably have noticed if you’ve been coming here for awhile – you see a lot about community and paying it forward.

Earlier this week, I was honored to be named one of 125 Fearless Female Bloggers by Kristi Hines (@kikolani). It was a great moment for me, and I could have probably danced to the moon (I may or may not have given that a try). It made me realize that I have gotten to witness a lot of great moments for a lot of other great people.  I’ve gotten to watch so many people really jump out of a box and start a whole new game for themselves, and I feel very privileged to have been able to witness that. So, here are some people who deserve some credit for their great strides. I salute all of you!

Stanford Smith (@pushingsocial): I have really watched Stanford evolve, even just over the last two months, into a budding leader and major factor in the Social Media space. I think I first really noticed Stan when I saw his post called Why Smart Readers Prefer Dumb Bloggers, which was published back in July. From that point, I’ve seen Stan guest post on ProBlogger and CopyBlogger, and I’ve seen him really hone his leadership and teaching skills. From his Boogie Man post to his latest, Stan is someone to watch in the months and years to come.

Susan Fox (@gagasgarden): About 3 months ago now I guess, I saw tweets from a lady going by the name of gagasgarden. Her profile interested me – “I’m the real Gaga,” it said. I could tell that she was pretty new to Twitter, and I wanted to help her out, so I friended her and we started talking. At first, Gaga wasn’t sure she was really cut out for Twitter. “I have so many questions,” she would say. “This jut won’t come naturally to me ever.” Gaga is not only still hanging out on Twitter, but she is now over 600 followers. She is already paying her success forward, too. It’s been great to watch Gaga evolve and begin to feel comfortable and confident in the scary land of Twitter.

Chase Adams (@REALChaseAdams): I met chase a couple of months ago via #Tweetdiner. He was very excited about the #tweetdiner concept and was really very helpful in getting the word out about the still new chat Stan & I started. Suddenly, a couple of weeks later, #usguys started (you can see my write up about #usguys over here and you can see Chase’s own rendition of #usguys-the beginning too) and Chase has begun to develop his role as a Social Media leader. This fellow is a blend of a good heart, a fast brain, and an ambitious soul. Keep your eyes on him because more great moments are sure to come.

Dawn Westerberg (@DWesterberg): Dawn exudes passion. Her blog is outstanding. Not only does she do a weekly round-up of posts she liked every week, but she touches on so many topics that would be of interest for a business. From Professional Photography to branding, Dawn has you covered. She has really come into her voice and into herself as someone who will help you get where you want to go in Social Media. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Joseph Ruiz (SMSJoe): I met Joe via many of the chats I attend, and I have watched him really take a leadership role in many of them over the last couple of months. He offers more than just kind words. Joe has co-hosted chats and has made himself an invaluable member of all of the chats in which I participate. He offers knowledge that is useful while also remaining easy to understand, which is harder than it may seem given that he only has 140 characters to play with. It’s been great fun to watch other people recognize what I’ve seen in the fellow for quite awhile now.

Suzanne Vara (@suzannevara): One of the first truly great moments I had in Social Media is when I saw that my new friend Suzanne was the sole focus of a blog post on Chris Brogan’s blog. I kind of already had learned a lot of the things Chris pointed out about Suzanne, but it was so wonderful to know that lots of other people would get to meet her via that post. Suzanne has become a dear friend of mine, so I think about that day and that post quite often and am really glad I was able to witness that moment of triumph. Suzanne has really come into her with some fabulous posts too. This post, where Suzanne asks you to examine the purpose of your blog, is one of her best, in my opinion.

Tommy Walker (@tommyismyname): I met Tommy via a MarketingProfs chat. We met by initially disagreeing about something. By the end of the conversation I was excitedly congratulating Tommy on news that he would soon be a proud papa. I’ve been able to watch Tommy come into his own via his own blog, via Third Tribe, and via his post for ProBlogger. Tommy is molding a place for himself as a Facebook specialist, and he really has an impressive bank of knowledge which you can access via his e-book. Keep your eye on this guy. Great things are in store for him.

Maya Paveza (@mayaREguru): In a lot of ways, Maya has already made it. She is extremely well-respected in her field, and rightfully so. However, something really great happened that made me so happy. When the speakers were announce for the Future of Marketing webinar, I scanned down. It seemed like a who’s who of Social Media superstars. And there was my friend Maya, her smiling face like a beacon on this poster-like listing. Maya’s world is primarily real estate, so her inclusion in the program is a testament to how much she has grown in the realm of Social Media. This woman is a force to be reckoned with. Believe me 🙂

Finally, I’d like to pay tribute to two people who really don’t need to be promoted by me, per se, but people are people, and they deserve to be complimented.

Scott Stratten (@unmarketing): I first encountered Scott on Twitter when he was lamenting the fact that someone was pretending to be his son, and that was very disturbing. The longer I hung around, the more I learned about Scott. I bought his book, heard about his talks, and began to notice that he was no longer just a cool guy on Twitter. And in fact, Scott isn’t just a leader in the world of Social Media either. Scott has really grown into a role of being a leading human being. If you want to see evidence of this heightened sense of being, check out his TED speech on stopping.

Amber Naslund (@ambercadabra): I’ve seen the same kind of leadership grow and evolve with Amber over the course of my time on Twitter. Amber is an author officially, now (she is co-author of The Now Revolution with Jay Baer), but as that success looms, Amber has begun to write posts that focus more on how to remain true to your values, more on what Social Media is all about. She has undertaken the role of inspiring others to achieve her levels of success, and it’s great to see. Check out this post called Giving Chances as an example.

There are tons and tons of people doing great things in Social Media, and beyond, every day. These are just 10 people who have crossed my horizon.

Who has inspired you lately? Do they know it? These folks inspire me in more ways than I can count. I hope you go and meet them if you don’t know them.

Image by Gabriella Fabbri. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/duchesssa

When I was in sixth grade, I was approached by a group of the popular kids. I had only been in the school with them for a year because my family had moved, and it had been made very clear to me that I was not in the hip and trendy crowd, so you can imagine my surprise when they approached.

“We want you to write some fake love letters and hide them so that this girl finds them,” they said.

I’d like to tell you that I refused off-hand, but I didn’t. I wrote 1 or 2. And for awhile, I was in that crowd of people. They invited me to eat lunch at the cool kids table, and they even shared their lunches with me, trading their cookies for my chips and things like that. I felt really good.

Then one day, the girl who was receiving the letters practically danced into class. She was holding the letter I had written. She was also feeling really good. Suddenly, I felt really bad.

I talked to the leader of the cool kids. I said, “I have to tell this girl that it’s me. I just can’t do this.” The girl was not happy with me. I confessed to the girl who had received the letters. She wasn’t happy with me either.

Needless to say, I was no longer welcome at the cool kids table. But I’ve been able to sleep really well for years.