Margie Clayman

Normally, I like to think that I am reasonably stable mentally (don’t we all). However, ever since I joined Facebook, I’ve had some doubts. I’ve had a horrible relationship with Facebook right from the very beginning. I didn’t want to join at first because the site wanted my email password, and it wanted me to post a picture of myself, and it seemed to want to broadcast that information all over the place. Eventually though, I got hooked. Then lots of privacy confusion happened, and I decided to quit. But my friends did not engage in a mass exodus, so I was lured back in. Back and forth, back and forth.

Two weeks ago, I gave notice to my friends and family that I was going to be deleting my personal Facebook account, which I had always kept “locked down.” I started a public/professional Facebook account not long ago, and I was going to just use that going into the future.

As you might imagine, a few folks asked me why. Well, here is my answer.

Private is not really private

Every time Facebook makes changes, you find a slew of posts and announcements about how to lock down your information. When the “open graph” launched a few months ago, it became apparent that even if you lock down everything in your account by customizing all of the settings, your information could still be spread just by your connection to friends who get involved in applications. In the latest news, which Tommy Walker posted about here on Sunday, Facebook released the news that apparently some applications were selling information to advertisers.

In my personal account, I was not saying or doing anything to be ashamed of. It just was kind of a safe haven where I could talk to family and people I’ve been friends with for over 20 years in some cases. It seemed like a nice little village where we all could get together. It gave me a false sense of security.

Keeping it on the straight and narrow

When I joined Twitter, I knew that everything I said was out there in the open. Whether I am just tweeting to myself or whether I am tweeting in response to someone else, I know that anyone who wants to see what I am saying can and will. This gives me a constant sense of caution and responsibility that I did not have when I felt like I had some small measure of online privacy.

Now, with Facebook, I am out there in the open just like I am on Twitter. I have asked my friends and family to pop on over there so that I can remain in contact with them, but I will not stray far from what I would say to a stranger at a trade show, for the most part, because I no longer have the illusion, or false sense, that what I am saying on Facebook is protected.

My word of caution

Lately, the fact that online communication is out there for everyone to see has been in the spotlight, most often in negative ways. Take, for example, the gentleman (?) from Arkansas who proclaimed that homosexual kids killing themselves was a better option than wearing purple for a day. That man has now lost his job, and he will forever be known as “that guy who.” That kind of thing can happen to anyone, no matter how locked down you think you are. On Twitter, you can be retweeted. Links you post to Facebook can be shared. Status updates can be spread far and wide. There is not really such a thing as “personal” or “private” in this brave new world of Social Media.

This is not to scare people away. This is not to dissuade you from enjoying your Facebook and Twitter accounts. It’s just to say that you are not in the privacy of your own home or the home of a friend when you post out here. Anything you say can and will be used against you, either in a court of law or in the court of the general public. Be watchful. Be careful. Be warned.

Last week, I read two posts on the topic of following on Twitter. First, Mitch Joel wrote a post noting that being a snob on Twitter is a good thing. In response, Mark Schaefer wrote a post called Bringing Down the Twitter Snobs. I commented on both posts. Both posts were insightful. Both posts presented their perspective well. Mitch Joel essentially argues that “The only people you should follow on Twitter are people who are immediately interesting to you or people who might become interesting to you.” Mark Schaefer retorts: “You never know who will connect with you, you never know how they will connect with you, and you never know where it will lead. So why would you exclude ANYBODY?”

So where do I stand with this? I have all of the respect in the world for Mitch Joel, but I can’t really get to where he is in his head on this issue. So let me talk about 2 reasons why.

I don’t have 500,000 people asking to talk to me

I know, I don’t understand why either, but it’s a fact. I think that folks like Mitch, members of the “Twitter elite,” if you will, experience Twitter in a totally different way than folks like me do. Twitter for them is a relentless pull on their experience, their knowledge, their time, and their tweets. People like Mr. Joel do speeches, they’ve written books. They’ve hit it big time.

In that kind of scenario, I can understand how it would be difficult to keep up with everyone who follows you. The time it takes to sift through real people versus the spam bots would be extremely demanding. And let’s face it…if you are in that Twitter elite, you have a lot of people who are asking to pick your brain. You have people throwing fits if you don’t respond. So I get wanting to be selective. Still though, how do you determine who is “interesting”? Mr. Joel talks about looking at a person whose “follow” list was about 400 people, all of whom were “A-list.” What does that mean? How do the Twitter elite define “interesting” or “A-list”?

Why do we talk about “following” like it’s a big job?

Here’s what I really don’t understand about the “Twitter snob” stance. Why miss all of those opportunities? I mean, when you were in high school or college, did you say, “Woah, I can’t meet any more people because I mean, how can I keep track of everyone?” Probably not. You were interested in meeting more people, in befriending more people. Well, that’s how I feel about Twitter. More to the point, if everyone eventually evolved into a “snob,” how could anyone new find their way in Twitter?

When I got started, people took a chance on me. I didn’t have an “A-list” of followers. I didn’t have a high Klout score (so I’m told). I had under 100 followers, and I probably was following more people than were following me. But guess what? People began to follow me. They took a chance. I am forever grateful.

Now that I have a more pleasant foothold in Twitter, I actually seek out people who don’t have a lot of followers. I look at what they are trying to do with their tweets, and I reach out to them. I introduce them to people.

You can’t judge a person by their followers

In real life, you’ll be hard pressed to find someone who thinks it’s a good idea to judge people by how they look, right? If you say, “Oh, anyone who wears jeans isn’t my kind of person,” you’ll get raised eyebrow kind of looks. Well, I react that way to the “Twitter snob” concept. How can you tell who is “interesting” if you don’t take a moment to try to get to know people?

I enjoy reaching out to people. It’s what I enjoy about Twitter. I enjoy being, well, social. Sure, there are tons of reasons why I am using Twitter as a marketing professional. But I don’t view following people as a job. Yes, it takes time to make sure you’re not following a spam bot. Sure, it takes time to see if someone is giving a true effort. But you know what? I’m happy to do it, because to me, and to a lot of the people I hang out with in the Twitter world, that’s really the whole point.

So, where do you fall in this argument? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

image by Luca Cinacchio. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/cinacchi

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you very likely have seen me mention Blogchat, a Twitter chat that happens on Sunday nights. There is good reason to talk about Blogchat often. Blogchat opened my eyes to all of the potential that Twitter carries. Blogchat introduced me to many people whom I now consider friends. All of that, of course, is in addition to the fact that I have learned an incredible amount not just about blogging, but also about networking on Twitter, sharing on Twitter, and how to meet new people with similar drive and interests.

I am not the only one who will praise Blogchat and its founder, Mack Collier. It is the largest chat on Twitter and perpetually attracts new people, which is awesome.

So understand that when I say there is one thing I am worried about, the intent is not at all to smack down the whole concept. It’s more like expressing concern about a job choice a relative is making – when you’re not quite sure if they’re going the right way.

This issue really came to light for me a couple of weeks ago. The topic was how to promote a brand new blog, which opened the doors for lots of people who were new to blogging and who were perhaps also new to Blogchat and/or Twitter. My hope and expectation was that there would be a lot of questions flying around from new folk, and that some of the Blogchat veterans would be sending answers back.

There was a little bit of that, but there were also a lot of people tweeting out very wise information, but not directly at anyone. With the usual retweeting of great information that happens, I fear that a lot of the newer folks were intimidated by the speed of the chat and didn’t really get to have a lot of their direct questions answered.

Remember what it’s like to be new

I would like to toss out a little thought for those of us who have been participating in blogchat for awhile. All of us, at some point, were new to the chat. All of us, at some point, decided to dip our toes in for the first time and ended up making a habit of it. Every week, the pool that new folks are dipping their toes into is getting deeper and deeper. There are more and more people who have been coming every week. Because the chat is getting so large and is attracting so much attention, it is attracting more “big hitters,” which in turn gets even more people using the hashtag for the chat.

I want to make sure that people who start coming to Blogchat now have the same powerful opportunity I did when I first started participating. I want them to feel welcome and important. I want them to be able to toss out questions and get bombarded with answers to their direct attention. I want them to learn what they are hoping to learn. I want them to come back.

I am going to try harder in the coming weeks to seek out question marks and people who say, “Woah, this is really intimidating,” or “I’m new here.”

I think that networking with those people is where the popularity and power of Blogchat rests. I’m a little worried that we might stray away from that a bit as people realize that their chances of getting attention and retweets are pretty good on Sunday nights. The essence of Social Media, and the true essence of Blogchat, is to lift up and help other people who need it.

I’m going to do a better job of sticking to that from now on.

Image by sanja gjenero. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lusi