Margie Clayman

I know that a lot of adults have a secret problem, just like I do. We like to watch Pixar films and other kid movies. Come on, you can admit it! I am the proud owner of movies like Shrek, A Bug’s Life, and Monster’s Inc. I understand that I am not necessarily the target demographic for these films, but I find them charming. It is this little secret habit of mine that inspired me, a few years ago, to check out Over the Hedge. There’s a character (voiced by Garry Shandling of all people) who happens to be a turtle, and this character gets a “tingling” feeling whenever something doesn’t feel quite right.

Well, I sometimes get a tingling feeling when I feel like something is just completely hitting the mark. And right now, my friends, I am tingling because I just read Mark Dykeman’s new e-book called Unstuck, Focus, Organized: Using Mind Mapping.

Without giving away too much, I want to explain why this e-book resonated with me so much. Essentially, mind mapping is kind of like putting a freeze frame on your brain and capturing what is going on in there at any given moment. It’s possible that this kind of process wasn’t entirely necessary a half-century ago, but with 24/7 news, 24/7 Social Media sites feeding a fire hose worth of information on an hourly basis, and other stimuli besides, our brains are filled with ideas, thoughts, problems to solve, and we just don’t have the opportunity to catch everything before we move on to the next thing. This can leave us feeling stuck, frustrated, disorganized, forgetful, and other things. You know how it goes. You have a great idea when you wake up in the morning, and by the time you finally have a chance to put pen to paper, the idea has gone or it suddenly seems really dumb to you.

Now, with mind mapping, you still need to make a conscientious effort to sit down and actually do it, but what Mark outlines in his book is how you can do that and how it can be advantageous. Essentially, you diagram what’s going on in your brain as it happens.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s say I tell you I have a great idea for a new business. You say great, and you want to see my whole concept. Well, there are so many details that go into this idea that it seems overwhelming to tell you the whole story. Besides, it might result in creating a long, boring Word document. If you’re a grammarian you might get distracted by that typo on page 1,742 and miss the whole point.

Now, imagine if I could show you a single sheet of paper with a diagram showing my central idea, supplementary ideas branching off from that, and subdivisions of ideas branching off from those. Not only can you see the entire workings of my brain in one fell swoop (I know, that idea scares me too) but you can also easily and quickly give feedback. You can see with a glance that I have nothing about the location of this new business, which means I’m also missing everything tied to the location of a business. That’s what mind mapping can do.

Oh, I’m not doing anything that requires mind mapping

The one thing that really surprised me about Mark’s book is that he addresses mind mapping in such a way that you could really use it for any facet of your life, your Social Media presence, your business, or anything else. Since I just finished reviewing the 7 Habits as they could relate to Social Media, let me give you some ideas of how you could tie Mark’s mind-mapping ideas into updating your Social Media strategy.

1. Being Proactive: Habit 1 talks about the fact that “love” is an action, not a feeling. But deciding how you can be proactive while staying true to your mission can be kind of tricky. Creating a mind map could help you see how proactive tactics could stream off of and support your central goal

2. Begin with the end in mind: This one could clearly benefit from some mind mapping. What is your plan? What are your goals? How are you going to get there? You could literally map out your entire Social Media strategy on 1 sheet of (big) paper.

3. People come first: How do you want to lift other people up? What do they need that you can provide? Who do you want to lift up? Maybe asking for other people to provide you with their mind maps could help you integrate their strategies with yours.

4. Creating a win-win situation: Executing a mind map to strategize a win-win situation would be extremely helpful, not just in terms of mapping how you would create that scenario, but also in defining what the “win” would actually be. If you don’t know what’s going in the center of the chart, you already know you have a problem!

5. Letting others know that they have influenced you: In this case, maybe your mind map would be, “How can I let several people know this at the same time while also creating a “win” for other followers? Perhaps you could map out a series of blog posts.

6. Creating a community: This would be an interesting exercise. Would your initial inclination to be to put yourself in the center of your chart? That’s not really what the idea of community is though, right? The idea is that the sum is greater than all of the parts. In this instance, “community” would be the central point, and the goals of the community would be mapped out.

7. Sharpening the Saw: No one can become an “expert” at Social Media, which means that we all can constantly improve some aspect of what we are doing. Mapping out goals and objectives would be a great way to keep all of your teeth sharp and pointy.

As you can see, mind mapping could enhance your experience in all of these different ways, and that’s just in regards to the intersection of the 7 Habits and Social Media. Are you starting to see why this book made me feel tingly?

Now Mark, being the champion person he is, worked out a special agreement with me, and by extension, you. Should you decide to purchase this e-book (which you can do here), you can get a $5 discount if you enter the code SMSafety. Now again, this discount will only show up if you put in that special code. That just lasts till October 17. For every book that is purchased using that code, Mark will very generously donate $5 to the Social Media Safety project!

Oh and by the way – Chris Brogan, Michael Martine, and Chuck Frey have audio files tied to the book that you can access when you purchase. And Dave Navarro supplied Mark with a special Q&A.

Mad kudos, Mark. You’ve created a FANTASTIC product. I think you will alter how a lot of people approach situations where they feel stuck.

1st Image by Nate Brelsford. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/runrunrun

2nd Image by Kriss Szkurlatowski. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/hisks

The final habit in The 7 Habits is “Sharpening the Saw.” This means that in life, once you have worked on the 6 other habits, you need to keep on working on them. You’re never done. To quote one of my favorite lines from Parenthood, “It never ends. It’s like your Aunt Helga’s butt…it’s twice as big and just as scary.”

In life, you can’t really be an expert at “living.” You can lead a good life. You can leave a good legacy for yourself. There are life coaches out there, but really they tend to focus on motivating you to life your life in better ways.

Well, I don’t think you can be an expert at Social Media either. There are a few reasons why I say that.

The technology is changing too much, too fast

Just like in life, things change in Social Media on nearly a daily basis. Heck, just Facebook alone changes hour by hour, right? If you say you are a Social Media expert, you need to be able to respond intelligently to any question that comes up about any of these changes. And by the way, Social Media experts (so-called) also need to keep their eye on things like SEO and search engine wars. You need to know everything about “new Twitter,” new Facebook groups, the new Google URL shortener, why people are mad at the bit.ly URL shortener, and more. There is not, I am fairly certain, a way to keep our arms around every single thing going on anymore. It’s like life. You grab what you can.

Social Media is about people

Can you be a people expert? That’s different from, say, a relationship expert. It’s different from what Dr. Phil does. What I mean is, can you always predict 100% what someone or groups of people will say or do at any given time? This is not a shortcoming on your part so far as I can tell. I’m definitely not a people expert. Well, Social Media is run by a people engine. It’s a people-technology hybrid. You can’t really know what people will say to a certain post or tweet. You can’t really know when the backlash against auto-direct messages will really come and knock you upside the head. A Social Media expert would have to be 100% right about how people work all the time. Now there are people who can read people pretty darned well – but would they want to take a quiz? I’d bet not.

The environment of Social Media changes

I’ve blogged about this before, and I’ll very likely blog about it again, but Social Media is an evolving creature by necessity. The Twitter that exists now is very different (so I hear) from the Twitter of 3 years ago. The people who are rising to the top of the pops now may not have done so a few years ago. The expertise that people gained five years ago may be mostly useless to them in many ways. In short, one must always analyze the environment anew. There are always new people joining. There are always people leaving for whatever reason. You can never perfect a flowing stream because the water keeps moving. So it is with Social Media. The stream, Twitter and otherwise, just keeps on going.

This is not to say that the people who are really really talented at using Social Media as a tool are fakes or anything like that. They are really really good at what they do. But one might note – they don’t refer to themselves as experts. They might, at most, say they have some expertise.

So what does this mean for us ordinary folk? It means that there is no reason to try for perfection. It can’t be done. You can’t keep on top of everything. You can’t be an early adopter of everything. You can’t know the ins and outs of everything. But what you can do is set goals based on the other habits and develop yourself how you see fit.

If experts don’t exist, what categorizations do I see in Social Media? Here are a few.

Community Builder

Educator

Business Person

Company Representative

Where do you want to grow in Social Media? What do you want your “sweet spot” to be? Work on that. Tend to it like you would tend a little garden. Maybe you could even become an expert at community building or an expert at teaching people how to use Twitter. Sharpen your saw.

And don’t worry about the folks who call themselves experts. The more I learn about Social Media, the more I realize that people who call themselves experts are actually pretty far behind the times.

What do you think?

Image by Päivi Rytivaara. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/paivimkr

I am just getting used to my new home here at my first ever self-hosted site. I have been nudged for a few months now by folks like Stan @pushingsocial to buy my own domain and move my blog over here, but truth be told, I just found this whole concept to be extremely intimidating.

When I changed my Twitter handle from @RLMadMan to @MargieClayman, I realized that my WordPress.com blog site, which was RealLifeMadMan.wordpress.com, no longer made sense with my new branding initiative. It seemed like all of the signs were pointing me in the direction of building my own site at my own domain.

Last night I went through the process, which was a bit tricky at times, and a bit nerve-wracking at other times. In trying to do the research, there wasn’t one single source that answered a lot of my questions, so I decided to use my experience and create a MyBrainshark tutorial on how to migrate a blog from WordPress.com to a self-hosted site using WordPress.org software. I hope you find it helpful. Let me know what you think!

How to Migrate from WordPress.com to a Self-Hosted Site

Thanks for popping by my new home! I think I’ll be staying here for awhile.

Habit Six is called “Synergize.” You’ve heard a lot of athletes at least pay lip service to this concept. As a Cleveland Cavaliers fan, of course, I am hearing a lot about how the Cavs as a team are much more than just the part that was LeBron James. Well, we shall see about that. In Social Media, it’s easy to get distracted by the individual parts. Especially our own individual parts. However, like in real life, if we can synergize – or to put it another way, if we can create a community – we are on a path towards effectiveness.

A synergistic community. Exit, stage left.

Sometimes, it’s hard to visualize a community when it comes to Social Media. This is especially true if you haven’t met a lot of the people you talk to  in real life, I think. For the most part, if you think about it, Social Media is about you, crouched down on a bus or on a train or in some room of your abode, typing. Your lips aren’t moving. Your ears aren’t engaged, or if they are, they are engaged with something that supplements your communications. So how can you synergize if you aren’t really of the people you are surrounding yourself with?

First, let’s talk about some easy pitfalls that can prevent this from happening.

Hi, I’m an expert: If you present yourself as the all-knowing, perfect, beyond reproach expert, you are not sending out a vibe that your community consists of more than you. You are saying that your head takes up so much space there might not be room for anyone else. As previously mentioned, the same holds true if you fashion yourself a guru, a lord, a Jedi Master, or anything else that one might tie to the idea of dominance.

Hi, you’re probably better than me in every way: This one is really easy to fall into when you first enter this space. There are so many people who are up there in the clouds, and you’re sitting there with your 67 followers thinking, “OK, well, this is what an ant feels like walking down the path to the Big Top. I would say this would be an accurate description of how I was when I first started my blogging and Twitter journey. I did not perceive that I had anything to offer a community because certain individuals seemed like they were communities all by themselves. The mountain seemed unclimbable.

Hi, I’m going to argue and be mean to get attention: I have seen a fair number of people who try this approach. It might be through blog comments, through Facebook comments, or through Twitter. Maybe they donate a whole blog post to the cause. One thing Stephen Covey talks about is that synergy revolves around avoiding distractions and not being discouraged by those that disagree. These folks inevitably wind up in that category.

So, what does a community look like if you’re living by Habit 6? What does it look like if you believe that your community, as a combination of people and personas, is more valuable than any one of the individuals?

If you think about it, there aren’t a whole lot of examples where you can see this kind of philosophy borne out, but let me tell you some examples that crossed my mind.

Brass Tack Thinking: It would be easy, I suppose, for Amber Naslund and Tamsen McMahon of Brass Tack Thinking to have ego fights when one or the other blogs. They could easily go down the road of, “Well what I *think* she meant to say was blah blah blah.” But they don’t. Each post builds into the community they are building at Brass Tack Thinking. No one post aims to overshadow another, but if you took out one or the other contributor, the community feel of the blog would suffer.

Chats: Notice I keep coming back to chats? That’s why I have become such a proponent for people to try chats, especially if you’re new. In a chat, if it is done right, nobody is made to feel like the whole chat would collapse without them. Even when folks like Beth Harte, Ann Handley, Chris Brogan, and Brian Clark co-host #Blogchat, there is not the feeling that the chat would just disintegrate if they left (though it’s awesome when they pop by). A chat is a community, and everybody’s contributions matter. There is never going to be a single person who can carry a whole chat by themselves. The sum is more important than all of the parts, and disagreements, if handled with civility, just add to the interest (or that’s what I think anyway).

MENG Blend: Like Brass Tack Thinking, the MENG blog is a community effort. No one blogger is spotlighted as the ultimate member of the community. Everyone is important. Everyone’s post is important. The essence of the blog is that there are multiple, great bloggers involved in the project. No one tries to outdo the others.

Lose your ego

When you first enter into the world of Social Media, it’s easy to think that it’s all about ego. In fact, some of my friends who are anti-Facebook say that folks who post on Social Media sites are just acting out their narcissism in 21st century ways. Some people might fit that description perfectly.

However, if you apply habit 6 to your Social Media world, what you are really talking about is easing your way into a community – into a finely tuned set of gears that works to share, network, teach, and learn all at once. Now remember, this does not mean that you have to flagellate yourself if you do anything that slightly resembles self-promotion. However, you come to realize that your community, while it exists around you, does not exist because of you. That’s a key difference, and it completely altered my perspective. Your community can value you. The individuals that comprise the community can think you’re awesome. But if you have truly found yourself as part of a synergistic community, it can go on without you (are you hearing Celine Dion singing yet?).

Take a look at your Social Media landscape. Have you worked on becoming part of a sum total rather than just being an amputated part?

What are some other ways that one can synergize with others?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

1st Image by Marcus Beltman. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/MBeltman

2nd Image by Robert Aichinger. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/raichinger

If you’ve been popping by here for awhile, you know that the word “influence” as it applies to Social Media has been something I wrestle with quite a lot. Well, you know how they say, “What you are looking for will always be found in the last place you look”? It’s true. The answer to “What is influence” can be found in Stephen Covey’s fifth habit. The only thing is I’m not 100% sure if anyone would really agree that this is how influence exists in the world of Social Media.

Habit 5 is actually called “Seek to understand, then to be understood.” Again, you’ll notice that the emphasis is outward first. People first, right? As I was listening along, something really struck me, however. Dr. Covey posits that in order to be influential, you need to let other people know that they have influenced you.

My brain kind of turned into a pretzel.

Let’s think about the famous (or infamous) Fast Company Influence Project. Does that match this idea? In order to be influential, you had to get a lot of people to click your link, right? Well, that’s really more about showing your influence on them. So that wouldn’t work.

What about Klout? Klout measures how many people respond to your posts, how many people retweet what you tweet, things like that. Is that demonstrating how your community has influenced you? No. Not really. Ultimately, it’s still measuring how you can and do influence other people.

In fact, it seems like most of our Social Media metrics rely on the idea that we are influencing other people. We are writing stuff that people comment on. We are tweeting things that people retweet. We are posting Facebook status updates that people click “like” on. So what does that all mean? How could we turn things around so that Social Media influence would be more about how we are being influenced by other people?

Hmm.

I think Dr. Covey would call that a paradigm shift.

Back to first things first

Ultimately, I think the kind of influence Dr. Covey defines in his habit 5 chapter is, in Social Media, dependent upon whether you can really prioritize people, relationships, and your community above all else. If you are approaching Social Media using the steps we’ve talked about up to this point, then you are not really tweeting in order to just gain followers. You are out there trying to create win-win situations, right? And creating win-win situations is important to you because those relationships are important to you.

So if Dr. Covey’s definition works – if the influential person is the one who shows how they have been influenced by others, then one could say that really, the most influential people in Social Media (using these guidelines) are the ones who don’t give a rat’s you know what about being influential. It doesn’t fall into their priority list.

All well and good, but how do people know that they have influenced you? And given this framework, how can you tell someone that they have influenced you or inspired you while maintaining your no strings attached integrity?

Well, you just have to talk to people, I guess. You know, like humans. You can tell someone, “Hey, that blog post you wrote totally changed my perspective on how I’ve been approaching blogging.” You can tell someone, “I had always thought x, but you made me realize that it could be y or z.”

Kind of a tricky game, isn’t it, this notion of being influential as long as you don’t concentrate on being influential? It’s like the person who desperately wants to fall in love and will literally throw themselves on the mercy of anyone who seems interested. It’s only when they love themselves that all of the prospects seem to come out of the wood work, right?

Influence in Social Media could change radically if we made it about how people are influencing us. I think it would make Social Media better, because we would be after telling other people what they were doing right rather than promoting what we are doing right.

I am sure there’s a lot to be said for the fact that you can get someone to click on a link, but ultimately, wouldn’t it be nicer to tell someone, “You really influenced me to go in a direction I hadn’t previously planned on”? I would think the latter would be a little more satisfying, at any rate.

So what do you think? Could Social Media work for you if you changed how influence is currently framed out? Would people who are thought of as influential now still seem that way?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this as I’m still noodling it a bit myself!

1st Image by Steve Todey. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/sjtodey

2nd Image by Manu Mohan. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/leocub

Every week, I get more and more excited about the blogs I have the privilege of highlighting. What is really delighting me is that more than half of the posts that you see below were referred to me by other people. Some recommended their own posts, others recommended posts by other people – but the spirit of sharing blogs is seeming to be something that’s catching on, and that fills me with a great sense of accomplishment – already! But that’s not an invitation to make it stop.

Lots of diverse topics again this week. Some topics that are controversial and thought provoking, some topics that are just plain helpful. I loved reading all of these, and I sure hope you do as well. Keep reading. Keep writing.

1. The first post for this week came in about 5 minutes after I posted #5! My friend @WilsonEllis wrote a post based on some advice she had given me about #30Thursday. I was sending folks to lots of external links, but not giving them a way back. In Debra’s words, I was sending folks down the rabbit hole. She explains how to avoid such problems!

2. My friend @FutureJennD recommended this next post – a playful one that has a lot going on underneath. From the Diary of Noah’s Wife, by Mary Biever.

3. A beautiful post from @DWesterberg titled “We probably wouldn’t be friends in real life.” How many people have you met via Social Media that you probably would never have met otherwise? My life is all the richer for having met the people I have.

4. The whole push behind this next site, which the wonderful @CateTV recommended, is really neat. This is a link to the most recent post for Epic Change. The message? Give Epic Thanks. Indeed.

5. My friend @oneJillian did a really interesting post that incorporated a Vlogger’s video about why you don’t necessarily need to jump on Twitter. An interesting perspective if you’re not sure Twitter is for you. This’ll get ya thinking!

6. @ckburgess sent me another outstanding post by Brian Slattery. This time, the topic focuses on how simple is better when it comes to authentic branding. Great post (especially if you’re a literature nut! Beowulf is involved!)

7. Rhonda Hurwitz pointed me in the direction of a great post by @techguerilla (Matt Ridings) over at Jay Baer’s ConvinceandConvert.com. The sticky issue of ROI and Social Media returns again. Excellent topic, excellent post!

8. @CateTV recommended that I check out the blog of @danacreative. The first post that I saw, called When Betrayal and Chaos Intervene, is a chilling read, but one that makes you wonder if the world is still a place where it’s safe to do good deeds.

9. Brian Solis writes about the perception of brands and branding in the wake of Social Media. Are brands being diluted while people believe they can reach more people than ever? Recommended by @cristianisdaman

10. @AllenMireles recommended this post. It’s hard to read, but so important. From SweetSalty, Loving & A Walk To Remember. Beautiful.

11. @cristianisdaman, showing why he is awesome, also recommended this post by TBKCreative. Is a man’s dignity worth $100? Fantastic post in so many ways. Great stuff.

12. @cristianisdaman, when he doesn’t read other peoples’ blogs, writes great posts himself. Check out this one – Google is creating a world where humans can be obsolete. Awesome huh?

13. Great friend (and great mind) @LouImbriano wrote a really inspirational post about how thinking in a slightly different way can mean you’re on your way to success. Make sure you look for his reference of the fly story!

14. @BillBoorman wrote a heckuva post about the line between Google and Big Brother. Where is that line, anyway?

15. My friend @FredMcClimans wants you think about who really can influence the deal. It may not be who you think it is!

16. Another great post from @MentorMarketing this week. If you are considering any sort of online video advertising, this is the post to read!

17. @HeidiCohen asks if you need a Social Media Manager. There’s a lot more to this question than meets the eye!

18. Bob James (aka The Mighty Copywriter) wonders if social proof is all it’s cracked up to be. What do you think?

19. Living up to his Twitter handle, @cristianisdaman sent me yet another post, this one by Jason Cohen. Maybe branding is simultaneously more and less complicated than we are led to believe. Though provoking and perhaps relevant to you right now!

20. It’s hard to choose just 1 post from @pushingsocial, but I think the message here is really important – how to leave great comments on blogs. Guess what? It’s still about being genuine.

21. I loved this post from @SuzanneVara. Social Media is not a new conversation. What it might be is a new tool for small businesses.

22. My friend @mayareguru (Maya Paveza) is working on a project with Chris Brogan’s Human Business Works. Are you a real estate agent who is finding success using Social Media? Now is your chance to tell very interested people all about it.

23. Kat Caverly (@greetums), a new friend of mine, sent me this great and fun post – 5 things to do wrong when you’re having a bad day. Not that any of us have bad days, but just in case..:)

24. I’m delighted that @BethHarte posted a blog about an #IMCChat we had on September 15th (Hard to believe it was that long ago!). Customer focused vs. Customer-Centric. This was a tough topic for me to get my arms around. Let me know what you think!

25. My buddy @TedCoine did a great post this week about the role jealousy plays in business. It could be what is really dragging you or your business down. Do you find yourself experiencing any situations like what Ted examines?

26. Hearing about these new Facebook groups but not sure what all the fuss is about? Great summary by @tommyismyname.

27. Kristen Robinson (@KRDMarketing) reminds you that you, yes you, NEED to be networking. Great reminder of how Social Media could be used to enhance the growth of your new business.

28. If you think news reporters and other people who live & breathe media would have a lovely and loving relationship with Social Media, you, like @SueYoungMedia, and like me, would be surprised.

29. @TamaDear posted a great blog titled “Twisted Sisters,”  about the role of women in business. Perception is not just in the eyes of men. It’s in your own eyes. It’s in the eyes of other women. How’s that all working for ya?

30. I thought this post by Carol Roth was really interesting – we say a lot of things, like “I did my best.” Do we really mean that? What is our best? What are we REALLY saying? (Yes, I’m sending you to MyEscapeVelocity.com in case you didn’t go based on my recommendation earlier this week 🙂