Margie Clayman

I really slipped on my reading in 2011. I mean, in my defense, my pal Mark Twain took up most of the year, but still, I like to play the field, as it were. I can’t have all of my time dominated by one (super awesome) deceased dude.

I have crowdsourced some of these ideas from friends in Twitter-World and Facebook-Land. These goals are rather much on the aggressive side, but hey, that’s what this time of year is for, right? Setting yourself up for blasphemous amounts of disappointment in the coming year!

I’m organizing by month, so if you want to read along with me, hey – awesome!

January

Social Media ROI – Olivier Blanchard

OK, look, I’ve been meaning to read this book for, oh, a year? Yeah…a year. But I had to deal with Lincoln and Twain. They’re needy chaps.

Nerd Do Well – Simon Pegg

My brother got me this for my birthday, which is now 3 months past. Gotta get on that too. See above re: needy deceased dudes.

Google Plus for Business – Chris Brogan

There’s been a lot of buzz about this book, some positive, some negative. I want to read it myself and formulate my own opinions!

February

Likeable Media – Dave Kerpen

Just got this for Christmas, so I’ll only be a month behind. Anyways, I’ve heard a ton of good stuff about this book!

Bonus Book! Social Media Strategist – Christopher Barger

The March – E. L. Doctorow

I’ve had this on my shelf for maybe 3 years. Tres ridiculo.

How Remarkable Women Lead – Joanna Barsh and Susan Cranston

Let’s face it – February is a dreary month in Northeast Ohio. I’ll need something to light a fire under me bum!

March

No BS Social Media – Jason Falls and Erik Deckers

This book is getting a lot of good buzz from a lot of people I respect. I’ll be woefully behind unless I read ahead. Huh?

Dharma Bums – Jack Kerouac

I read On the Road quite a few year ago and really enjoyed it. Looking forward to my next adventure with good ole Jack.

Killer Angels – Michael Shaara

According to Brian Rice, I’ll love this book!

April

Mark Schaefer’s brand new bright and shiny book – name yet to be released!

Lincoln on Leadership – Donald T. Phillips

Lisa Petrilli mentioned this book in a blog some time ago. Reading a Lincoln book in April seems 100% fitting!

Things the Grandchildren Should Know – Mark Oliver Everett (“E”)

Autobiography of the lead singer of the Eels. My family has pretty much spoiled it for me, but what the hay!

May

Marketing in the Round – Geoff Livingston & Gini Dietrich

I don’t wanna freak these 2 out too much, but I’m really looking forward to this 🙂

Brand Against the Machine – John Morgan

Hearing really good things about this book, so…yeah!

Born Standing Up – Steve Martin

I adore Steve Martin. As they say on Twitter…#thatisall

June

The Place of the Lion – PG Wodehouse

This is a recommendation from Ken Mueller. I like Ken. My enjoyment is in his hands for this one!

How to be a Finance Rockstar – Nicole Fende

This’ll be out by then, right Nicole?

The Jews of Odessa – Steven Zipperstein

I have no idea how my family ended up in Cleveland, Ohio when they started in Odessa, Russia. Hopefully this book will help me out.

July

The Lady In The Tower: The fall of Anne Boleyn – Allison Weird

Since Queen Elizabeth I is one of my most favorite historical figures, learning about her mother intrigues me. So there you go.

Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand

Somehow I never had to read this in college. The time has come.

Point Omega – Don DelLillo

I’ve read a few DelLillo books, namely Libra and White Noise, and loved them. I have high expectations for this one!

August

The Silmarillion – JRR Tolkien

At this point, my waiting for The Hobbit will be getting to an unbearable state.

Folktales of the Native American – Dee Brown

I read this a long time ago, but it’s time to revisit it.

September

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Trilogy – Stieg Larsson

Well, of course I’ll be super duper late to this party, but ciest la vie.

October

The Hobbit – JRR Tokien

Feverish desire for movie will now be setting in.

Switch – Chip Heath & Dan Heath

Yes, woefully late on this one too. I know, I know.

November

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy – JRR Tolkien

December

What did I miss?

Phew. That’s a lot of reading. I’d best get started.

How is your list looking for next year?

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennerally/10215167 via Creative Commons

 

 

 

 

 

Human beings are pretty funny creatures. We can be moody. We can be manipulative. We can be really nice and then really crude, all in the span of just a few minutes. In the offline world, these shifts in our behaviors may go unnoticed, or at best unrecorded. However, in the online world, we leave footprints wherever we go and whatever we do. One might think this would encourage people to be a bit more steady, a bit more careful, but oddly, it actually seems to have the opposite effect.

Lately, I’ve encountered quite a few experiences where people opted to not put their best or most attractive foot forward in the online world. Even though I am small potatoes in the online world and am perpetually stunned at what an amazing year I have had, it has occurred to a few people that they should probably try to toss me off my game. I have just a few things to say about that, and I say it more for YOUR good, because I don’t want you to fall into the downward spiral of hating or combatting the people who try to do this to you. So here we go!

“You will lose, Haters Potter.”

OK, I realize here that I’m putting myself in the role of Lord Voldemort, which may be counter-intuitive. However, this is really the attitude you need to take with people who are determined to try to throw you off your game.

The thing with me is that I’ve experienced enough real-life “stuff” to not really be bothered by some mean comments or by people who are acting out of their own real-life “stuff” or jealousy or whatever it may be. I need not go into those experiences – you’ll just have to take my word for it (hint – death of many loved ones). On the other side of the coin, I’ve experienced enough great stuff, both online and off, that a few mean comments or actions here and there will not be enough to make me throw in the towel. Do you get up and abandon your picnic because a couple of flies are trying to share your macaroni salad? Hopefully not.

If you are balanced within yourself, people who are trying to derail you cannot hope to succeed. Similarly, if you are balanced within yourself, you cannot fail.

“I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.”

So speaketh Gandalf the White to Grima Wormtongue, and so you must speak to anyone trying to throw you off your game. Defending yourself a little is okay, but really, after battling a balrog and falling into the darkness of the void, do you want to spend time bandying words about with people who really won’t hear you anyway?

I’ve got better things to do. You’d think the derailer gang would have better things to do, but it takes all kinds. In any case, defend yourself if you must, then return to sharing useful things with people who truly know you.

“If Ida known for just one second you’d be back to bother me…”

My general stance in the offline and online worlds is as follows: forgive, but don’t forget. Carrying around anger and resentment just assures you’ll have a dark cloud over YOUR head all of the darned time. That’s no fun. However, I also know something that a lot of people who act poorly online in their real lives don’t realize. There always seems to come a moment when you need or want help from someone, and it’s always up to that person whether they want to help you or not. If you treat someone badly, it’s going to be pretty easy for that person to reply to you later that they’d love to help, but they’re really busy. I am not a vindictive person, but I choose who I am kind to. If you try to throw me from a moving train, I might take issue with ya later. Punk.

“But in the real world…”

So sang Roy Orbison. I never would have guessed that in my short time online, so many people would have tried to toss me off my game, but this is the real world, even if it’s kinda shiny and 2-dimensional. I never imagined that my general spouting off about being nice and helpful would earn me hurt in return, but so it goes.

The important thing to remember is that people trying to snuff your candle out are going to run out of breath eventually. You can always get more matches from the store.

Keep that light a shining no matter what. And I hope you enjoy having some disco in your head 🙂

 

Image by Aleksandra P. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/GiniMiniGi

This is probably my last post before I start family festivities for Christmas. It’s probably one of my last posts of 2011, in fact. I have been thinking about how I would use this occasion. Many people are using this week to reflect on 2011 and thank people who have been meaningful to them.

I was skimming my shiny new Facebook timeline last night and noticed that I had become Facebook friends with a lot of people just a year ago. Some people I now consider better than sliced bread I have only known for five months, really. It seems impossible that I have know so many wonderful people for so short a time. How could I possibly include everyone and not leave out anyone important? Too many people have shown me endless and overpowering support. Too many people have made me smile when I was frowny. Too many people have made me look at life and other things in new ways. I can’t possibly grasp them all in one post.

All of that being said, there are two people I want to thank who changed my life in very big, very different ways in 2011, especially as it pertains to this online portion of my life. Unfortunately, neither of them are still here with us, but if they are floating around in the ether, I hope they get wind of this message. More importantly, I hope that the lessons these two men taught me can be filtered through me and end up helping you.

Trey Pennington

The lesson Trey taught me, or reminded me of, is very simply stated. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. From the very early times of my online life, I heard great things about Trey. I heard tales of his amazing ability to tell stories. I heard what a warm and genuine guy he was. In fact, I don’t recall anyone ever saying anything mean to him. For all of that, I never quite got to the point of interacting with him but for one time. I had written some post – I have no idea what, and whether Trey tweeted it or not, I got a direct message from him shortly thereafter asking me to read a post of his. This one, about Toy Story. I thought, “Man, that’s crazy. This guy that everyone admires wants MY opinion about HIS post?”

On a regular basis I would say to myself, “I really need to start talking to this guy. I really need to make a point of reading his posts.” But you know how life is. You put a million things on your “Must do” list and every day the list gets longer, not shorter. In early September, I found out that Trey had taken his own life. All of my “I need to do that” reminders hadn’t done me a bit of good. My best of intentions had not translated into any kind of action. It’s not a woe is me tale, certainly. I feel for the people who knew and loved the man, especially at this time of year. But for me, it was a reminder that even though we see people every day in the online world, even though it seems like they are just the same every day because of their unflinching avatars and gravatars and profile pictures, we are never guaranteed tomorrow.

Since then, I have done my best to reach out immediately to people I want to get to know better. If things don’t work out and they end up being poopy (my favorite word) then that’s okay. At least I tried to get to know them. At least I pounced on the opportunity. Trey Pennington, through all the tragedy of his death and his last few weeks of life, still managed to teach one more profound lesson.

Bruce Serven

Bruce taught me a very different lesson. Bruce taught me that just because you DO talk to someone online every day does not mean you know the whole story. I saw Bruce’s avatar every time I posted a blog post. He chatted with me often. Always kind, always nice. But I had no idea he was unemployed. I had no idea he was having so many problems. I certainly had no idea he had abandoned all hope and had broken as a person.

Bruce has taught me that one must not take online friendships for granted. Talking to someone in a two-dimensional screened-in environment does not reveal a person’s soul to you, most of the time. You need to dig. You need to be willing to explore a little. You need to be willing to try to nudge a few doors open and see if they stay open or slam close. I wish I had known that. I wish I had noticed that Bruce had gone a month without posting to his site. I wish I had noticed that the last blog post he wrote was pretty angry and cynical. I would have asked him what was up, perhaps. But for all of that talking, I didn’t know him enough to know that he was in trouble.

I have learned that lesson in a way I’d have preferred never to have learned it. But it is one I will not forget. So thank you Bruce, for reminding me that truly getting to know people is a perpetual act of care and work. It is not for the lazy and there are no shortcuts.

And you

All that I have learned from these two men I hope to use as I nurture our relationships, whatever those may be. So as we head into the holiday season and the new year, I want you to know that if I say I care, or respect you, or admire you, I really do. And if I say I’m worried about you, it’s because I want you to know that I don’t want you to slip away.  And if I say hi, it’s because I really want to get to know you.

And with that, I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukah, a Joyous Kwanzaa, and if I don’t see you till next year…a Happy and prosperous 2012.

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/49889874@N05/6042029343/ via Creative Commons

I know what some of you may be thinking (how’s that for a definitive statement?). You’re thinking, “Man, a whole series, 52 posts, just about gender equality and stuff like that? This is such a non-issue. This is just a hornet’s nest that doesn’t need to be kicked anymore.”

I think a lot of that reaction comes from the fact that often we get on the defensive (or the offensive) when we talk about gender. We have our guards up. Men feel like they are perpetually attacked. Women feel like they are perpetually disrespected. We go into these conversations with those gut reactions already set, and as soon as someone says something, anything, we are ready to throw up our arms and start to block and punch.

I don’t want this series of conversations to go like that, but I do feel it’s important to have these conversations. I did some research over the last few days on what the totally objective, no way you can argue with ’em stats are about women and men in the US (note, just US). Here are some things I thought were interesting.

According to census information from 2009:

• Women who worked full-time all year earned 78.2¢ compared to a man’s dollar

• 29.9 million women 25 years or older have a Bachelor’s Degree. That’s versus 28.7 million men in the same scenario.

According to the National Committee on Pay Equity, which released a report on September 13, 2011:

In 2010, African American women were at 67.7¢ compared to a man’s dollar

According to the White House “Women in America” report released in March of 2011:

• In 2007 24% of women had their first child at age 30 or older. In 2008, 18% of women ages 40-44 had no children at all. These were huge contrasts to similar numbers in the 1970s and 80s.

• In 2009, 28% of working single mothers lived below the poverty level. That’s 8% of all working women and just 6% of all working men.

• 11% of women 25-34 have had at least 2 years of graduate study compared to 8% of men

• In 2009, working women spent 7 hours and 40 minutes on work each day compared to the male average of 8 hours and 50 minutes a day. However, the report notes that these same women did more housework than their male counterparts.

• In 2009, only 7% of women were involved in the computer industry or in engineering. Just 14% were involved in management, business, or finance positions.

• One fifth of all working women were still working in what are considered traditionally female-dominated occupations like teaching and nursing.

What do these statistics mean to us? What story do they tell? To me, it’s a story of progress, certainly, in may areas. Women used to not be allowed to go to college. Now they are graduating in greater numbers than men. Women are waiting longer to have their first child. A lot of women are choosing not to have any children.

But what does that REALLY mean? It begs some questions, doesn’t it? For example:

If women are excelling in school, why is there still a pay gap across all levels of occupation?

If women are waiting to get married and have children, why are we still saying that women don’t want to be in management positions because they care more about having kids? Sure, some women may feel that way, but the statistics are showing that this sentiment is changing.

Why are the women who need support most – single moms – most often living below poverty level?

Why are African American women running some 11¢ behind white women in wages?

And that’s just the US. According to the UNHCR, 49% of refugees are girls. We all have seen the struggles that women have faced around the world in countries where women are most certainly second class citizens.

We need to talk about this stuff and figure it out.

But you’ve come so far

Yeah, women have made a lot of progress. We can vote now. We can own land. We can start companies. We can run for political office. But it’s not the same as it is for men, is it? Is that a bad thing? Is that a good thing? Is equality possible?

That’s what we’ll be talking about every Wednesday for the next year. Those issues. Those topics. Because they have been swept under the rug for far, far too long. The era of patting ourselves on the back is over. It’s time to get back to work.

Don’t you think?

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mckaysavage/3892677218 via Creative Commons