Musings

In 1965, John Lennon wrote a song called Help. It had a cheerful tune, an upbeat…beat, and when the Beatles sang it and then made a movie of the same name, it seemed like they couldn’t smile widely enough. But when you study the life of John Lennon, you learn that he was at a low point in his troubled life, and he actually really did need help. Instead of asking, he made a song out of it that people still sing and hear around the world.

Why are we so afraid to ask for help? It’s not just a Social Media question, is it? There’s the common myth (or is it truth) about men refusing to read instructions or ask for directions. I know plenty of women who, as they slave in a hot kitchen over a huge meal, insist that, “No, they don’t need any help.”

It’s actually ok to ask for help though. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or unaccomplished. It doesn’t mean you’re dumb or just plain not cut out for whatever you’re doing.

This is something you need to internalize if you want to engage online.

It’s not a dumb question

I’ve talked here before about how utterly confused I was about the online space when I started. Heck, let’s narrow it down to Twitter, shall we? I did not know the following.

What is this “RT”?

What does h/t stand for?

What is this #ff? And is it the same as #followfriday?

Why do you need the hashtag?

Why can’t I direct message this person. Also, why would I want to?

The online world is confusing, plain and simple. It doesn’t really make sense. There are no rules, there are just “best practices,” and even those are up for constant (and sometimes passionate) debate. So if you are feeling lost or confused or overlooked or under-replied-to or invisible, ask for help. Don’t feel ashamed about it, either. Because you know what? I can guarantee you that someone else has that exact same question, and if you get an answer, then you can help someone else.

And in life…

The online world can also be a place where your feelings get truly hurt. It can be a place where your hard work comes to naught. It can be disheartening. Or, perhaps, in your life beyond the screen, you are experiencing things that are trying your soul.

Ask for help.

Give someone the privilege of turning your frown upside down. Give someone the satisfaction of using something they learned to lift you up a little. Even demigods need help sometimes. You aren’t alone in that regard.

Ok?

This is post #34 in the Engagement Series. I hope it is helping you. You’re why I’m working on this, you know 🙂

Do women tend to support people online and in the real world more than men? This is the question that Amber Cleveland explores in her contribution to the Women and Social Media series. Amber suggests that women are more naturally inclined to care, and that it has been a long-established fact that if you strengthen the women, the entire community will be strong.

Are men equally supportive of each other or of all people?

Visit Amber’s post, which is called Women and Social Media: Supporting Others, and weigh in!

For the rest of the series so far:

Here is an overview of the series, and please give a visit to the following posts:

A Glass Ceiling in Social Media? By Daria Giron, aka @mominmanagement

Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Oh My! Baby Boomer Women Transition Careers Through Social Media, by Chanelle Schneider aka @writerchanelle

On Facebook, Women Just Want to Have Fun. by Heidi Cohen, aka @heidicohen

It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for another fantastic contribution to the Women and Social Media Series!

This week, Heidi Cohen tackles women and how they interact on Facebook. The post is called On Facebook, Women Just Want to Have Fun. Heidi backs her post up, as per usual, with wonderful analysis and statistics, but could this perspective on women and social media undermine women who aren’t online just to have fine? Great fodder for conversation!

Here is an overview of the series, and please give a visit to the following posts:

A Glass Ceiling in Social Media? By Daria Giron, aka @mominmanagement

Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Oh My! Baby Boomer Women Transition Careers Through Social Media, by Chanelle Schneider aka @writerchanelle

At the ripe old age of 3 or 4 months (in Twitter time), I decided that I had learned enough to start a chat of my own. Attending #blogchat had opened my mind to everything that was possible on Twitter. I had met tons of great people, I had gotten hooked on other chats, and I was pretty certain that enough people knew me that I’d be able to get my own chat off the ground. I called the chat #twit4biz (I think), and the idea was to talk about how you were using Twitter for business. I thought it was a pretty fertile area of conversation. I was planning on having chats on everything from your “voice” to the avatar choice (your logo or your face?).

I tried to do the chat for 3 or 4 weeks, and my only attendees each time were the lovely Linda Machado and Lisa Alexander. I so appreciated them coming, but it just didn’t seem like anyone else was interested in what we were saying. So, I decided to call the chat off.

I was horrifically confused and disappointed. I had gotten so many nice comments from people. I had gotten good feedback on the idea. I had gotten coaching from people I really respected. Where had I gone wrong?

[Read more…] about Pick yourself up and dust yourself off