Margie Clayman

Sean McGinnis is VP Sales and Marketing at Dot CO Law Marketing. Additionally, Sean is a co-founder of 12 Most and blogs about SEO, Internet Marketing, Social Media, Leadership and a variety of other topics at his blog 312 Digital. Sean is based in Chicago and has been involved in Internet Marketing since 1999.

I’m a huge movie buff. In fact, the first web site I ever created was a DVD movie review site (http://dvdverdict.com) that it is still going strong over 12 years later with over 22,000 original movie reviews. One of the byproducts of this fascination with film is I tend to have strong recall of movie dialogue and scenes and I often find myself thinking in movie terms.

Just ask my friend Sam Fiorella. Just this week, Sam and I were chatting via skype and he sparked an immediate movie recall in my mind and I shot him a couple movie clips. We both laughed. I did the same thing to my friends Gini Dietrich and Marcus Sheridan this past week, when I dropped a quick YouTube clip into the Spin Sucks comment stream. I do it because it’s funny and because it adds spice to the discussion.

And here’s the problem….

Every time I do that, I’m taking a shortcut.

I assume everyone knows what I know – that they think like I think – that everyone “gets it” – that they’re in on the joke because they too have seen the movie and understand what I’m trying to convey by dropping in a movie line out of nowhere.

But that’s rarely ever true!

Communication shortcuts can be useful when you have a shared community and you’re certain everyone “gets it,” but they can be death to your marketing efforts. In fact, a sense of community can be strengthened by using just these types of shortcuts. Again, I would cite Gini’s community over at Spin Sucks as an example. Every few weeks or so, I or someone else will call Gini Gumby or Gertrude. It’s funny to me. And it’s funny to Gini. But not every member of her community knows the backstory (click both the links above to get brought into the loop) and those that don’t, get very much left out of the shared experience of being part of that community during those short exchanges. BUT, those in the know have their bonds and allegiances to that community strengthened via this type of shorthand communication. Everyone that knows the Gumby story has a good laugh when it comes back out.

Here’s the rub… There’s a temptation to apply this type of thinking to your marketing effort as well. But, your market very rarely understands your product (or maybe even their need) as well as you do. And by creating shorthand things like branded product names or concepts and continually referring to them in your marketing materials without first explaining them to your prospects can lead to a lot of things – almost none of them good. Your prospects will walk away from your marketing efforts feeling confused and alienated.

Here’s the thing. It’s fairly easy to avoid this type of behavior. All you need to do is put yourself in your prospect’s shoes. It sounds pretty easy in theory, but it’s quite difficult to apply in the real world. Because we can’t unlearn what we already know. We are often blinded by our own self-interests – which is why sales people are often so incredibly bad – because they are focused on their own self-interests and not genuinely focused on the interests of their customers.

Nearly every time you try to take a shortcut you run the risk of alienating your market. Don’t talk down to them. Don’t talk over their heads. Don’t even talk TO them. Instead, talk WITH them. Discover the genuine questions they have about your product or service and answer those questions as completely and naturally as possible. Display a little empathy. It will go a long way in helping you put your market first.

So my advice is this. Beware the shortcut. It can be a VERY effective tactic, but it also has a tendency to limit your market – by creating those that are in the inner circle and those that are forever relegated to being on the outside looking in. Both are viable tactics. Just know which one makes the most sense for your business and when to use it.

One of my favorite movies is Love Actually, a Christmasy type movie that is also a beautiful reflection on the post 9/11 world. The movie points out, via a Hugh Grant voice-over, that on 9/11, the last messages were of love. “I want you to know I love you so much.” Those were peoples’ last words. Those were the words people picked up their phones to say when time was running out for them.

Over the last couple of days, I have watched as the sudden and tragic death of Trey Pennington has begun to dissolve into nothing but another polarizing issue in the online world. Amongst all of the questions that his family and friends are asking, amongst all of the grief that his loved ones are experiencing and will experience, the online world is missing the last and most important lesson Trey left. His last tweet, which I’m sure many have seen, was not of anger or anguish or hate or discontent. His last words in this online world – his last tweet – was of love.

As people deride each other for various reasons this week, I can only feel like I’m watching people slam their heads into brick walls. This week, more than any other week, is a time for patience, understanding, gentleness, kindness, and love. And yet, over the course of 12 hours, 2 exchanges I’ve seen have involved the word “hate” and a condemnation that one person is a waste of life.

I know there are people out there who are trying to gain social capital because of Trey Penningtons death, and that is so disheartening. I know there are people out there who you just find disgusting. That’s human nature. But this week, right at this particular time, that’s not the lesson. The lesson is that the message you’re sending out could be your last one to that person. It could be your last, period. And what are you leaving? Petty retorts, the cause of which no one will know or remember? Messages about how much you hate a person? Messages about how some people are so insensitive they deserve to die? Really?

Where are your hearts, my friends? Where are your heads? What must happen before you realize that you are what you say, and you only get one shot to leave a legacy to be proud of?

Can we not recoil our venomous tongues for the next five days at least? Can we not reach out with hands instead of claws? Just for a few days? What you say matters. It carries weight. It flies away from you and lands you know not where. Make it a risk-free journey. Just for the next few days.

Please.

Image by Adrian van Leen. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/TALUDA

Sometimes, when a birthday comes, you look back on the last year of your life and you think, “Yikes. Good riddance! Now how can this new year possibly be any worse?”

Other times, you think, “This year was great and I can’t wait to see what’s coming next.”

That’s this birthday for me.

This past year saw a lot of “nevers” become “possibles.” It saw a lot of “can’ts” become “dids.” It saw a lot of “somedays” become visible through a rear-view mirror.

Of course, many of these things would not have happened but for family and the best of friends. They know who they are. Many of these things would not have happened but for you, too.

I leave one year and enter the next feeling the most optimistic, the most lucky, yes, the most blessed, than I have felt throughout my adult life.

As of a few hours ago, this message was going to simply be this. A thank you. A note that sometimes things can take a turn for the better. A note that hope can pop in the weirdest places, if you just keep your eyes open for it.

My feelings of optimism, however, are in stark contrast to the news the online world received today regarding the passing of Mr. Trey Pennington. It is hard to lose someone under any circumstances, but when you hear that someone has ended his or her own life, it sharpens the picture in our own lives. What are we missing in other people? What can we do to alter the path that the people we care about are traveling? Can we do anything?

As we approach the ten-year anniversary of 9/11, the word that keeps coming back to me is love. We need to love each other better. And I don’t mean sloppy kisses and bear hugs love. I mean asking how someone is doing even if you don’t feel great yourself. I mean trying to make someone smile even when they have tears running down their cheeks. I mean reaching out and saying “How are ya” to someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. I mean telling people, in whatever means you can, that they make a difference to you.

When given the choice, I err on the side of showing people too much, too often, that I care. A lot of people roll their eyes at me. “Yes, Margie, no need to get mushy.” But why not irritate people with that nonsense rather than leave them wondering if they register on your mind or in your heart?

This will be a very tough week for so many, between coping with the passing of a great man and then on the other end of the week remembering all of those whose lives also ended inexplicably and for reasons we will never understand. What better time to tell everyone you love that you love them? What better time to tell the people who have made a difference for you that you know they did and do.

This week, give yourself a present and that will be the best present for me. Call that friend you’ve been meaning to call. Give that cousin a hug the next time you see her. Go visit your parents or your siblings. Think about the people who construct the texture of your life, and make sure they all know that you care. Write a post about someone who may not know how much they mean to you. Make a phone call. Relish the fact that those people are still around, and treasure them. This week, we all need to remember how lucky we really are. In these dark days, spread a little sunshine.

It can get better. Hang in there.

Image by Crystal Church. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/twitchtoo