Marjorie Clayman’s Writing Portfolio

Professional writing profile of Marjorie Clayman

Margie Clayman

50 traits I look for in a leader

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My friend Tom Moradpour invited me to participate in a new blog community called #usblogs, an offshoot of #usguys on Twitter. The topic for this weekend is 21st century leadership.

I wanted to write a post about how I think of leadership in the 21st century, but then I got to thinking about a person who, to me, embodies the traits I would most want to see in a leader of this century.

I couldn’t really think of any one person.

So then I asked myself, “How do you define a leader?”

I came up with these 50 traits – I’m sure you could add plenty yourself.

1. A leader is willing to sacrifice themselves, not just others. Frederick Douglass once said that John Brown was a far more passionate proponent for abolition. Douglass lived for the slave. Brown died for the slave.

2. A leader is in touch with those he or she is leading and can therefore anticipate what will be needed next.

3. A leader brings positivity, like sunshine, to a room. It’s more than charisma – it’s charisma backed by a confidence that things will get better.

4. A leader does not acknowledge enemies, but rather accepts that some people are challenges.

5. A leader knows when to step back and strengthen him or herself.

6. A leader knows how to prioritize.

7. A leader is organized so that organization can be handed off to others.

8. A leader shows bravery, which means sometimes admitting to being a little scared.

9. A leader is always accessible.

10. A leader never forgets what it was to be led.

11. A leader accepts blame more than recognition.

12. A leader knows who the strongest links in the chain are, and it’s seldom the leader him or herself.

13. A leader is color-blind, blind to gender, blind to ethnicity, but respectful of all.

14. A leader knows when to laugh and when to cry.

15. A leader will sometimes follow if the way is unfamiliar.

16. A leader will create other leaders.

17. A leader sees the trees and the forest, and that little twig sticking up in the corner.

18. A leader has a well of kindness that never runs dry.

19. A leader will pull but never push.

20. A leader will balance criticism with praise.

21. A leader will not compromise those who follow by putting them in an untenable position.

22. A leader will balance when to inform and when to hold back.

23. A leader will not baby the people who follow.

24. A leader knows that no victory resides just with them.

25. A leader is not a leader if there is no one to lead.

26. A leader knows all of the rules and knows when it is necessary to break them.

27. A leader knows how to pay homage to those who went before.

28. A leader knows how to be humble without losing gratitude.

29. A leader’s hair will go grey from worry.

30. A leader’s greatest fear is to lose a comrade, not him or herself.

31. A leader knows how to create relationships within and without.

32. A leader will not stand for in-fighting and knows how to make it stop.

33. A leader knows how to make you follow before you realize you are walking.

34. A leader is a wall that will not crumble, but a wall that affords a vantage point for seeing what is coming.

35. A leader is an ambassador.

36. A leader will give more than receive.

37. A leader will never feel that the task of proving oneself is complete.

38. A leader will never stop learning.

39. A leader will admit that someone has strengths that he or she does not have.

40. A leader is not afraid to learn from the competition.

41. A leader knows when it is time to exit.

42. A leader knows when it is necessary to take charge.

43. A leader does not complain about the burden of leadership.

44. A leader is cognizant that some may be jealous and is respectful of that perception, though it does not defeat him or her.

45. A leader knows you cannot please everyone.

46. A leader does not ask anyone to do something he or she would not do.

47. A leader does not turn up the nose at anyone, regardless of the circumstances.

48. A leader knows that when you point a finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you.

49. A leader earns respect but does not ask for it.

50. A leader will probably not always recognize themselves as leaders.

So those are my 50 traits. I can think of leaders who embody several of these, but not really one person who embodies all. I’d love to hear how you define the 21st century leader, or who you think of as the ideal 21st century leader!

Image by Debbie Wogen. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/dwogen

25 of my favorite blogs

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My friend Gaga (known in real life as Susan Fox) asked me for a recommendation on some blogs to read. Now, this is by no means a comprehensive list, but a lot of what I learn and have learned has come from these particular blogs. I could probably list hundreds without much trouble – and maybe some day when my arm isn’t killing me, I’ll do just that 🙂 In the meantime…

25 blogs to read and enjoy!

1. PushingSocial.com: From my friend Stanford Smith. Blogging advice, Social Media advice. Motivational, kick your butt into gear, shining star kind of content.

2. MayaREGuru.com: While Maya’s primary focus is real estate, she lives at the intersection of real estate and Social Media, and she’s a pretty awesome observer of society as well. For humor, snark, knowledge, and a peek into the Real Estate world, give Maya’s blog a gander.

3. Kherize5.com/blog: Written my girl Suzanne Vara, what you’ll find here is a wide variety of topics, ranging from observations on Social Media to helpful LinkedIn tutorials, all infused with Suzanne’s shiny personality and interesting insights.

4. GeoffLivingston.com: Geoff is a no-holds-barred kind of guy, which I respect even if I don’t always agree (and sometimes I heartily disagree, as he does with me). However, what I like about Geoff’s blog is that he covers Social Media as it intersects with the bigger world picture, including how to use Social Media for charitable causes. That’s a valuable contribution.

5. LisaPetrilli.com: I’ve come to be a leading cheerleader in the Lisa Petrilli fanclub. I’ve gotten to know Lisa better via #leadershipchat on Twitter, and of course she won my heart by confessing in a blog post that she is a total history nut. Lisa focuses on leadership and how to optimize performance, and while her blog defines itself as for the c-suite, it’s a good read for anybody.

6. Dannybrown.me: Danny is another “I say what I mean and mean what I say” kind of guy, so if you disagree, don’t expect him to say, “Oh, ok, my bad. You’re right, reader.” That said, I seldom disagree with what Danny has to say. He is another person who focuses often on Social Media as it intersects with the real world, and he also infuses his posts with a genuine care for humanity, which, let’s face it, is a good trait to have.

7. Moradpour.com: My friend Tom Moradpour started blogging (FINALLY!!) a few months ago, and ever blog post he’s put out since has been awesome (don’t you just hate people who are good at everything?). Tom touches on Social Media and marketing from the standpoint of the company (he’s the global director of marketing for Pepsi), so it’s a nice vantage point for marketing geeks like me.

8. MackCollier.com: Well, why wouldn’t you visit the blog of the Blogchat king? The great thing about Mack’s posts is that he really digs into the numbers rather than just waxing poetical about things like, well, like I do 🙂 He does the research and offers it up for everyone’s benefit.

9. OutspokenMedia.com: The blog of altogether awesome-sauce lady Lisa Barone, Outspoken Media is just that – outspoken. Lisa uses harsh language sometimes, but her observations about SEO, Social Media, and the world in general are always spot on, and she always offers a great read.

10. TommyIsMyNameAndTheseAreMyThoughts: You’ve gotten to know my friend Tommy Walker through his gracious guest posts on this here site. I have immense respect for Tommy’s knowledge of Facebook and also his ability to make it all make sense. He even can convince people who hate Facebook to start liking it, which is a great skill!

11. TwistImage.com: The blog site of Mitch Joel, I go to this website when I have some time to sit down for a good half hour and truly ponder a decadent slice of content. Mitch covers lots of topics ranging from Social Media to the broader world of business and marketing, but I always leave his blog feeling simultaneously dumber and smarter than I felt before.

12. Christopher Penn’s Awaken Your Superhero: I almost always find myself feeling more at ease after reading posts by Christopher Penn. Whether he’s talking about Klout.com or life in general, he has a really unique writing voice that just makes things seem all so easy and yet intricately complicated at the same time. Full of thought and positivity, I love visiting this blog!

13. BrassTackThinking.com: The combined efforts of Amber Naslund and Tamsen McMahon combine to form Brass Tack Thinking – and these two women provide just that. No nonsense advice, inspiration, motivation, though leadership, and calling a spade a spade. If that’s your kind of thing, you need to head on over to this site!

14. Last Millenial to Blog: I met Kyle thanks to Chris Brogan tweeting out a post of mine. Kyle considers himself the last millenial to get into blogging (I doubt that’s true) and his takes are always well thought-out, interesting, funny, and personable – just like he is on Twitter @spittk07. Give him a read and a tweet!

15. BrandontheDuncan.com: I met Brandon, whom I call BD, at a Blogchat. Brandon is a digital dad who has a lovely and human voice to his blog. He’s a lovely person and I always find myself smiling at his posts. Sometimes I smile at posts that aren’t so happy just because he is so human. Sssh!

16. LouImbriano.com: Lou just moved his site and I’m excited about it! Lou approaches things, generally, from a sports perspective, but the motivation and joyful insights he offers are beyond compare. I always leave his blog feeling like I can conquer everything and anything, and man, I need to read stuff that makes me feel that way! 🙂

17. BusinessGrow.com: Mark Schaeffer’s blog. Mark covers everything from Klout to Social Media to being addicted to our mobile devices. He always does so in a thoughtful way that seems to leave me no choice but to respond. This has become one of my favorite blogs over the last couple of months. I suggest you check it out!

18. MomInManagement.com: Daria is another person whom I met at a Blogchat (when I see tweetchats are valuable, I’m talking about something I know about!), and I’m so glad I did. Daria invited me to collaborate with her and other women on the Executive Image series, which I think was eye opening for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. Daria provides immense amounts of quality knowledge like that, and she’s a lovely person to boot!

19. CarolRoth.com: I actually got to know Carol a bit better because of the Executive Image series, where she left an amazing comment for me. Carol is a business woman, accomplished, and intimidating in all of her success, but she is also a (now depressed) Bears fan, supportive, and a bright ray of sunshine.

20. ChrisBrogan.com I probably don’t need to detail all of the various reasons why I visit this blog, but suffice to say, a lot of what I know in the Social Media space is the result of reading Chris’s posts religiously. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination 🙂

21. FredMcClimans.com: Fred is frighteningly smart, and is another person whose blog makes me feel simultaneously dumb and smart. Fred focuses a great deal on research but also has a tremendous eye for looking at the Social Media and marketing landscapes and finding details that a lot of other people miss. He’s a pretty good guy, too!

22. AllThingsFadra.com: Fadra Nally was one of the first people to follow me back and talk to me on Twitter, so she’ll always hold a special place in my heart. Reading her blog will give you a glimpse as to why. Always from the heart, often funny, and always truly human, Fadra’s blog is also particularly useful if you’re a mom. Check out her site!

23. MollyDCampbell.com: I’ve told you about Molly before and many have praised her innate humor and her rich writing style. Well, I guess that about sums it up. Observations on life, sometimes through a Social Media prism. You’ll almost always leave with a smile on your face.

24. Inoveryourhead.net: The blog site of Julien Smith. I told Julien once that his blog posts are like fudge. You can just wrap yourself up in his thought processes. Now, sometimes Julien uses naughty words, so if that bothers you, just be ready to say “bleep” a lot. I wouldn’t let anything stand in the way of enjoying his posts.

25. MyEscapeVelocity.com: A project that two of the people on this list (Chris Brogan and Carol Roth) work on with others – this is a project that really is right for the times. Per the title, it’s all about how to tear yourself through gravity and accomplish what you want to accomplish. Whether it’s organization, task management, or finding your dream job, this site has it.

So those are my 25 choices, or at least some of the ones that came to mind today. What are yours?

Image by Billy Alexander. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ba1969

Does transparency kill authenticity?

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Imagine, if you will, the following scenario.

You’re walking your way through Twitter and the blogosphere when someone you like and respect a great deal sends you a direct message.

“Hey, I have this ticket to that huge expo you wanted to go to. I’m not going to use it. Do you want it?”

Well, you jump at the chance. You know that the ticket probably was a major investment for someone – your friend, or maybe a friend of your friend. You go to the conference and you have a fabulous time. You’re really grateful.

A couple of months later, that same friend sends you a second direct message. “Hey, I just got my book published. I’d love for you to read it and write a review. Be honest!”

Let me ask you two questions.

First, are you going to mention that this person gave you a ticket to that conference a couple of months back?

Second, are you going to say anything acutely negative about the friend’s book?

The conundrum is transparent

This seems to be to be a pretty quintessential example of the “can’t win” scenario.

In the interest of being transparent, people sometimes treat their blog posts like mini confessionals. “Oh, and I talked to this person in the street on May 27th, but now I’m just quoting them. And this person loaned me a quarter for a vending machine five years ago, but I’d have liked their book anyway. And this person I have talked to in real life on at least 3-4 occasions, but I still highly recommend you attend their webinar.”

People expect these kinds of confessionals in Social Media because one of the first things you hear when you go online is “be transparent.”

However, this also creates, at least in my mind, an issue of just how authentic we can really be online. It makes me wonder if people do nice things in this space so that you can owe them a solid later. It makes me wonder if you REALLY are being honest when you come clean about your friendship with an author and then in the next paragraph tell me why I should buy 17 copies of your friend’s book.

Another hypothetical

Let’s say that you’re doing another book review for a friend of yours (your friends are very accomplished!). You start out by saying that you both work for the same company, your boss supported the book, you wrote the forward, and you got a free copy long before it was released to stores.

What is the incentive for anyone to keep reading? With everything you just became “transparent” about, what are the chances that you’re going to go on to bash everything about the book? I’d say slim to none. In fact, I stop reading.

A real life scenario

This has been on my mind for a few reasons. I’ve encountered a lot of blog posts lately that have me concerned about how genuine some content really is. Are you bashing that person because you REALLY think they’re crap, or is it maybe because every time you do that you get 57 comments on the post? Are you raving about that book because you REALLY think it’s amazing, or is it because of all of that stuff you just “came clean” about?

It’s also on my mind though because of my recent experience reviewing The Now Revolution. It occurred to me, as I started reading, that I had been entrusted with two copies of the book before it even was officially launched. I was entrusted to review the book, and i was entrusted to then find a neat way to send at least one copy of the book out to my community.

Could I really say anything negative about the book?

As it happens, there really isn’t too much that bothers me about The Now Revolution. In fact, with just 2 chapters left, it’s one of the best books I’ve read in a couple of years. But what if it hadn’t been? What if there had been a lot of points that just galled me?

I decided that the best path would be to be me. You know who I am. I think, to some extent, Jay and Amber know who I am. I’m not going to say negative things just because I want to create a riot on my blog site. I’m not going to gush at something that’s not gush-worthy.

I feel pretty strongly that I would take that line regardless of the situation. You expect it from me. I expect it from me.

It might be boring. It might not make me a lot of friends in some cases. But I have to be able to sleep at night.

What do you think?

What do you think? Would it be better for someone to not be transparent about all of their ties so that you could take their opinion in without all of that bias? Is it better to know where someone stands but accept that maybe it’s not 100% what they truly think?

What would you do? What do you see?

Let’s talk about it.

Image by Ivan Prole. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/iprole

Amber Naslund and Jay Baer to visit TweetDiner!

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Stanford Smith (@pushingsocial) and I are very happy and excited to announce that on Saturday, February 26th, at 9 PM EST, Jay Baer and Amber Naslund, authors of The Now Revolution, will be visiting us at #tweetdiner – a virtual stop on their whirlwind book promotion tour!

Based on the book, the diner will be divided into four sections, each about 15 minutes each (though if there’s good convo we won’t be strict about this).

1. What kind of culture works best? What kinds of personal traits are important to nurture for Social Media?

2. Listening and responding

3. Crisis Management

4. Measuring success

We’ll make sure we serve up the best virtual food and the most comfy booths will be all set for you.

Oh, and I guess we should mention that two lucky recipients will receive a free copy of The Now Revolution – one from Stan and one from me.

Will we see you there?

Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do

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As we head towards the Spring “new show” season on television, I am lamenting the fact that I no longer have Lost around. Sure, there was a lot about the show that bugged the heck out of me. For example, why did we spent 2.5 seasons getting really deep into a character only to have him completely disappear for the last half of the show? That’s a mystery that the riveting conclusion did not even attempt to answer. Still, it was a fun show to complain about, a fun show to hypothesize about, and I got to be pretty good friends (or so it seemed) with the characters.

One of the characters from Lost has been on my mind lately. His name was John Locke (there was another character who went by Rousseau – my friends and I had a great time trying to figure out how the presence of two great philosophers would play out in the overall story line) and his catch phrase, if you will, was “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

In Social Media, this should be your mantra.

You’re an island in an archipelago

People tend to emphasize the word “social” in the phrase Social Media, but the reality is that in terms of executing your plans, building your brand, and achieving success, you’re on your own. You can talk to the other islands around you, but when push comes to shove, it’s just you who’s out for you.

This can be really, really easy to forget or overlook. After all, there are all kinds of people offering you advice. There are people who you think of as really powerful and successful, and they’ve all got a story about how they got there. It seems so easy to follow their path, stepping in the footprints that they left. It can be really easy to feel kind of intimidated if you think maybe you want to take a step off to the right.

Don’t let people tell you what you can and can’t do.

It worked for me. It might not work for you.

Social Media lends itself to thinking that you can paint by numbers. For example, when I was having massive problems getting anything but crickets to pass over my blog posts, I asked some people I respected what on earth I could do about it.

“Ask questions!” One person said. So I started ending all of my blog posts with a question mark. Nobody answered.

“Comment on another person’s blog regularly,” another person told me. I did that. And nothing changed.

What you find out is that you have to dig out your own strategy. You have to customize everything you do to your personality, your objectives, your readers, and your community. These pieces of advice I got worked well for the people that were trying to help me, but they didn’t work for me. They may or may not work for you.

Don’t ask what you can and can’t do

The sky and the ground are your limits in Social Media. There aren’t even agreements on best practices. One person’s spam is another person’s marketing campaign. Don’t be afraid to gather information or to ask for advice, but always look at it through the prism of that person’s experience. Don’t believe that anyone has all of the answers for you other than you. Don’t believe that what you are doing is “wrong” just because someone else thinks it’s silly. What matters is if what you’re doing works for you and what you’re trying to do.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Unless you want them to.

Revisiting the “Giving Tree”

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This wonderful guest post is by Mark Robertson. Have a talk with him on Twitter @markosul. A new friend with some great ideas – thanks for this post, Mark!

When was the last time you were lost in a picture book? Are there certain images, words, storylines—even smells—that seem seared into your memory?

I can remember when my mom read me “Runaway Bunny,” by Margaret Wise Brown. I recall being fully absorbed in the images, and can feel the mother bunny’s fierce, almost supernatural love for her rebellious son. How did Brown know what was written in my three-year old soul? How did he know my mommy was Mother Superior—and the sense immense love and dense loyalty it transmitted?

I didn’t know that “Where the Wild Things Are” was a parable of the primal nature—especially among boys—to enter the “shadow world” of adventure. All I knew that it was gripping, that MAX was MARK and that Sednak articulated my deepest stuff in images and an economy of words.

How did these stories capture my soul, lift me into flights of the imagination, and take me back to a richer homeland, “where the soup is still hot”?

Picture books and blogging

My reflection on the power of storybooks has made me think of ways these “hypnotic powers” can be applied to internet writing. The trifecta of image, word, and organic storytelling transmits deep meaning—simply and clearly. Like good blogging.

Very few children’s writers have the engaging power of Shel Silverstein. I began reading and writing independently, called by Silverstein’s “Invitation”:

If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer, If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire …

Silverstein had an appetite for the offbeat. Like me. But his poems and stories were also laced with the kind universal existential folklore that captures the primal joy and anguish that follows love’s absence.

Here are four simple writing lessons I’ve learned (read: am still learning) from Shel:

  • Simple line driven words and visuals (let’s not call it minimalism) are attractive because there is less visual information to digest. Create visual images that give only enough information—allow your reader to enjoy co-operation and co-creation. While few blogs are entirely black and white, attractive ones have a simple palette (see the earth tones and grayscale in Jonathon Mead’s Illuminated Mind).
  • Flex your love, not your vocabulary. Silverstein has rich understanding of human psychology (the “Giving Tree” is one of the finest examples of Carl Jung’s archetype of the anima), but simplifies BIG IDEAS it into small, elegant stories and poems.
  • All space on page or screen is real estate. Like poet William Carlos Williams, Silverstein used white space brilliantly. For example, the text of the poem “Falling Up,” seems to be pushing the child into the clouds. The left page is nearly empty. Lazy Jane drinks water by “waiting for the rain,” and the words fall from the top of the page into her mouth. Like poets, bloggers measure “real estate” in picas and pixels. All space is useful and can add or detract from the message.
  • Be fearless. Shel clearly had no qualms with nonsense, hilarity, and moments of transcendence. He tackles issues from laziness (“Lazy Jane”), overeating (“Hungry Mungry”), stupidity (“Smart”), peeing in the garden pots (“Gardener”), experimentation (“Alice”), to unconditional self-sacrificing love (“The Giving Tree”).

Perhaps “everything we need to know [about writing], we learned in kindergarten.” If so, Silverstein, Dr. Seuss, Sednak and the gang are here to remind us.

What are some elements from Silverstein that you see in your writing? Please feel free to help me add to my list of lessons we can learn from children’s literature.

Image by The Horton Group. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/hortongrou