Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do
As we head towards the Spring “new show” season on television, I am lamenting the fact that I no longer have Lost around. Sure, there was a lot about the show that bugged the heck out of me. For example, why did we spent 2.5 seasons getting really deep into a character only to have him completely disappear for the last half of the show? That’s a mystery that the riveting conclusion did not even attempt to answer. Still, it was a fun show to complain about, a fun show to hypothesize about, and I got to be pretty good friends (or so it seemed) with the characters.
One of the characters from Lost has been on my mind lately. His name was John Locke (there was another character who went by Rousseau – my friends and I had a great time trying to figure out how the presence of two great philosophers would play out in the overall story line) and his catch phrase, if you will, was “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”
In Social Media, this should be your mantra.
You’re an island in an archipelago
People tend to emphasize the word “social” in the phrase Social Media, but the reality is that in terms of executing your plans, building your brand, and achieving success, you’re on your own. You can talk to the other islands around you, but when push comes to shove, it’s just you who’s out for you.
This can be really, really easy to forget or overlook. After all, there are all kinds of people offering you advice. There are people who you think of as really powerful and successful, and they’ve all got a story about how they got there. It seems so easy to follow their path, stepping in the footprints that they left. It can be really easy to feel kind of intimidated if you think maybe you want to take a step off to the right.
Don’t let people tell you what you can and can’t do.
It worked for me. It might not work for you.
Social Media lends itself to thinking that you can paint by numbers. For example, when I was having massive problems getting anything but crickets to pass over my blog posts, I asked some people I respected what on earth I could do about it.
“Ask questions!” One person said. So I started ending all of my blog posts with a question mark. Nobody answered.
“Comment on another person’s blog regularly,” another person told me. I did that. And nothing changed.
What you find out is that you have to dig out your own strategy. You have to customize everything you do to your personality, your objectives, your readers, and your community. These pieces of advice I got worked well for the people that were trying to help me, but they didn’t work for me. They may or may not work for you.
Don’t ask what you can and can’t do
The sky and the ground are your limits in Social Media. There aren’t even agreements on best practices. One person’s spam is another person’s marketing campaign. Don’t be afraid to gather information or to ask for advice, but always look at it through the prism of that person’s experience. Don’t believe that anyone has all of the answers for you other than you. Don’t believe that what you are doing is “wrong” just because someone else thinks it’s silly. What matters is if what you’re doing works for you and what you’re trying to do.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Unless you want them to.
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Thanks, again, MC! I used to be worried about being found a fraud; then I found the non-fraud was just fine enough.
Compelling metaphor re:archipelagos. Recalls Jung’s collective unconscious…we ARE connected, but it is very hard to navigate the deep mountains that connect us. We can only send firework-flares to the other peaks above water.
Thank you for the Lockean refrain.
Thanks, Mark. It’s always nice to be able to use the word archipelago. This was my big chance! 🙂
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Barbara Winter, Mark Robertson and Vickie Young, Marjorie Clayman. Marjorie Clayman said: Don't tell me what I can and can't do. http://bit.ly/i9wOb5 […]
Margie,
Advice is critical and so is support. We all want to be loved. In the end. You have to make the best decision for you. Everyone wants to give the impression their a social media expert or they have the answers. Some say don’t show any weakness, Some say don’t come on too strong. Some say join my tribe. Others, join no tribe. In the end everybody is different and has their unique angle. You just have to believe in yourself and find yours.
Exactly right, Kenny. Well said. You have to balance your desire to please others with the need to make sure you are okay with yourself.
I agree with Kenny.
It’s tough. You want validation that you’re doing the right thing. Comments is way to know. Looking out for yourself is easy to overlook, and it’s really scary.
I’m about to do a couple of things that scare me because I’m sure I’m going to lose a few people that I was certain were close to me, people I thought I could count on. Only in my head have I realized that once I get through a couple of major obstacles, I’ll be able to really refine who I am in this culture of social media.
You’re absolutely right about the questions and comments. I’m not adding a comment because I think it will do much for me. If that was the case, I would just put comments all over tarnation. Instead, I’m doing this for you, because I like my dialogue with you. That means I don’t put my comments everywhere.
Here’s the thing: At the end of the day, the only person I want to be happy with is me. Am I? If so, then I have built a sustainable (and hopefully growing) island. If not, then things need to change.
Sorry to hear you are entering some scary waters, Paul, but I do appreciate your contributions to this blog – you always enrich the experience for me, and I’m sure for the other folks who swing by as well.
If I can be of any assistance, just let me know!
Brilliant stuff! One of the things that people who venture out onto social media discover (too late maybe) is when it come time to execute anything or rely on the “social” part of social media, “you’re on your own, you have no friends.” (Quoted from a favorite show of mine.. since you got to do ‘Lost’)
Seriously, though, everyone has a best way of doing this, everyone will tell you you’re right, you’re wrong, do this, don’t do this but at the end of the day, it is YOUR time, YOUR money that is on the line for execution. If it goes well (e.g. Chris Brogan) EVERYONE will want to be your friend. If it fails… *crickets*
Most ventures worth doing are not me-too so why apply a me-too social media strategy? I’m busy working one now where a lot of the conventional wisdom of the SoMe crowd simply does not apply so I;m making stuff up as I go.. so far, the client is buying it.. more as I near the launch.
Anyone want to be my friend now? Later will be too late. 🙂
Haha, so true though. It’s easy in this space to think that people are going to follow what you say word for word. It’s easy to ask each other for advice and support. But in the end, you have to do so knowing that you won’t be swayed from what you feel is the best path. It’s a delicate dance that I’m not sure a lot of people are ready for. It has come as a surprise to me, that’s for sure 🙂
i think guidance and support is good – one thing works for one person but might not for another.
Absolutely. Guidance is extremely important – I’d even say necessary. But that’s a very different animal from “Do this my way or you’re dumb.” I think some people may forget that – on both sides of the issue 🙂
02/11/2011 – Hi Margie – Once again good writing on your part! Yes the lack of restraints & borders draws me to the web. We want to use our “Freedoms” to the MAX. The Net/Web remains the “New Frontier.
We are to some extent envolved in a Gold Rush. Like the Gold Rushers of 1849 we are establishing our own rules, norms and Societies { Mining Camp Councils}. We want to avoid Government requlation {we don’t want the Web to become the 51st State in the Union}.
A History Lesson = Most of the $ made during & after the 849 Gold Rush was made by the folks selling gold pans & shovels {Stanford, Comstock, Wells & Fargo}. Few Minors made any $, However they had the experience of a life time.
The “Real $” being made today is flowing the direction of Google, Face Book, Apple, Microsoft and a few others. We bloggers & small business’s will not make much monetary profit however we enjoying one of the best experiences of our life times.
Cordially
Mike
Great analogy, Mike. I love the stories of those people who picked up everything, moved to the area where the Gold Rush was happening, and opened up little stores and diners. They made an absolute killing!
Thanks for feeding my history geekdom 🙂 You rock!
Thanks Margie! Love the words of wisdom…you go GirL!
Thanks, friend!