Meeting People When You’re Supposed To
One thing that Jamie Sams teaches (and I think a lot of other philosophers teach this as well) is that during our own particular journeys in life, we meet people as we’re supposed to meet them – as we need their help. They might not have any idea that they are helping us in that regard, and indeed, if the lesson we have to learn is unpleasant we might not think of it as very helpful either. But if you start thinking about it, we all seem to happen upon new friends or new enemies at just the right moment in life. Similarly, we weave in and out of other peoples’ lives to help them with their lessons. All we can do is hope that we serve everyone well. Since we don’t even know what it is we’re supposed to do, this can be a lot to live up to, but I think it’s possible.
Have I ever noticed that I met people when I was supposed to? Yes, actually. When I was going through the hardest time in my life, I was a bit loose-lipped about some of the health stuff I was enduring at the time. There was one friend in particular who I really felt deserved an explanation for my clearly crazy behavior, so I opted to write one of those confessional emails that you kind of wish you could pull back as soon as you hit send. A few hours later I checked my email and guess what? They had an almost identical issue. From that point until we sort of drifted away from each other, there was an unspoken undercurrent to our friendship. We didn’t have to talk about it or ask how the other was doing. It was just an understanding. At that time, when I felt quite isolated, that person helped fill a giant hole.
In the online world over just the last two years (how is that POSSIBLE?) I have met all kinds of people just at the right time. I learn from these people every day, it seems like, and I can only hope that I serve the same purpose for other people. I hope I can offer guidance by example like Gini Dietrich does for me. I hope I can offer good counsel like Sam Parrotto, Sherree Worrell, and Jill Manty do. Folks like Geoff Livingston, Danny Brown, and Olivier Blanchard have shown me how to hold your own in the online world and be sure of yourself – most certainly needed that after my first year online. Ken Mueller , Jack Steiner and Bill Dorman have shown me how to mix great wisdom with great humor. Lily Zjac, Ellen Bremen, and Brian Vickery all helped me on my running journey just at the right time. And there are people who have taught me lessons the hard way too (oddly I’m not going to name them), but those lessons were valuable. Painful, but valuable. I might even say necessary.
I hope that I have come into your life at a good time if you read here regularly. I hope that you have met people who taught you happy lessons more often than you met people who taught you lessons the hard way. But I want you to give some thought to the people who are woven into your life. What lessons have they taught you? What might you have taught them?
It’s a good way to remember that we are all connected like puddles in a pond, for better or worse. What we do makes an impact. We can only choose to make that impact for good or for ill.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/frikjan/6974032035/ via Creative Commons
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Margie,
You are a person that I think many could model their entire social media life style around.
You have been a listener, instructor, mentor and always there at the right time for me. I am proud to call you my friend. I will go so far as to say you’ve been my champion as I jumped in with both feet new to Twitter. 😉
Thank-you,
Susan Fox
@Gaga Aw, thanks Susan. I appreciate that 🙂
You are too funny! Thank you for saying that about me. This is something I’ve always carefully considered because I think people enter our lives when our families can’t be around. Sometimes it’s because of vicinity and other times because of drama. And it’s OK when people leave our lives because we typically have served a purpose for one another. I think about the girls who stood up in my wedding with me. Of the seven bridesmaids, I still only talk to three of them…and that’s because they’re Mr. D’s sisters. It’s hard to believe four of my really good friends are no longer there, but they were good enough friends to be bridesmaids 10 years ago. Great food for thought.
P.S. Ken says he’ll stop by and comment later. He was rushing out the door and I had him on Skype chat.
@ginidietrich It is odd how people float in and out, isn’t it? I remember so many conversations in college…”We’re always going to stay in touch, right?” “Oh, of course! How could we not” Well…
But I stil think fondly of those folks. Well, except for those I don’t 🙂
Margie, I’ve been attempting to be off the grid this week, on “staycation” with my family the past two days, but I saw this and had to respond. I completely and totally agree with this post. There have been times that I’ve met people and couldn’t believe the impact they made in my life. At other times, I’ve lost people in my life and had to reflect on what imprint they made. I thought this was a beautiful post. Whenever I was fortunate enough to meet you, I’m so glad that I did. And I can’t wait until I get to meet you IRL, which I am sure will happen one way or another! Even better, we are totally “like footed” in our pace and can go on a little run together (because you’re going to be back, baby!). Are you reading Bingham yet? Ellen
@chattyprof More like walking for me these days, Prof. Or hobbling 🙂 But yeah, super slow. We can race the snails and turtles and have a long conversation in the meantime 🙂
I am looking forward to meeting you in person – which I KNOW will happen. Heck, I met Gini and many gossip that she doesn’t exist. It has to only get easier from there. Right?
Hey, I thought I was your running coach………..but I’ll take humor instead ’cause I like to laugh; in fact (in case you couldn’t tell) I seek out humor.
You are very talented and have a gift w/ stories and words. It is very easy to read your posts from top to bottom, not everybody can hold me to the page like that. Methinks you get a little anxious at times as it appears you are seeking out your sweet spot, but I think you are already there. Settle in, enjoy the journey, and grow this little blog of yours……………that.is.all. Thanks for the mention even if I can’t make your FB picture wall of fame……..:).
BTW – I almost went to the baseball game tonight but our plans changed. However, we (the Rays) are going for two in a row…….I have noticed Cleveland likes to leave as many men on the base as Tampa does however……maddening………
@bdorman264 Can’t you be both, coach? I mean, I know I’m into categorizing people, but you sort of cover both areas… 🙂
Thanks for the vote of confidence – means a lot coming from you. Sincerely.
I have to say, Rays vs. Indians is the perfect formula for the most sleep-inducing baseball ever. Even the announcers get bored!
You’re wonderful 🙂
You know what, I think you DO offer guidance by example, good counsel and amidst everything, be yourself. All these, in your own very special way! I’ve learnt tons from you and you’ve been nothing but awesome 🙂
@janwong Aw, thanks dude 🙂
Finally got here! Margie, when Gini shared this link with me yesterday, it really hit hard, and dare I say, came at a perfect time. I greatly appreciate including me here, and if I were to write a similar post, you’d be right up there as well.
I’m in the midst of an incredibly busy and crazy season, and I’m really understanding the value of friends and support, many of whom are people that I only know from online interactions and have never met in person. I don’t believe in karma or coincidence, so stuff like this is important to me. I believe these things happen for a reason, and the friendships I’ve made online have been a big part of me pushing forward at times.
Trying to run a startup that still has a long way to go, while raising and supporting a family, with one car, four people with jobs and school, dealing with various health issues, some online unpleasantness, and two sets of parents who are both now in that stage of needing care…get’s pretty overwhelming at times.
All that to say, this particular post came at a great time. So thank you!
@KenMueller I’m so glad, Ken. That makes my day 🙂
Hope things get better/easier soon. ((hugs))
Margie, I love this post so much. Although I am sometimes a silent lurker, so many of you have been a huge inspiration for me as I’ve been building up our podcast/blog. Thank you!
Thank you Margie! This is a really lovely post. I have been experiencing this too. I really believe it has to do with being open- once you decide to meet people and expose your own vulnerability, connection emerges. In the past year I have ended all of the relationships that I thought were central to my life (except, of course, my loving family) and have had the most incredible year, rediscovering old friends, connecting with new ones, and meeting myself again too. Thanks for sharing this personal story.
Thanks for including me, Margie. It’s a strange journey, that’s for sure.
Good thing you looked to me for your running journey vs that whole wisdom thing ;). But wait, now you have a jacked-up foot. Perhaps I should switch to the wisdom or marriage bliss category? Is there a sarcasm category?
Thanks for the mention, Margie. I enjoy engaging with several of the same people…and they all bring depth to this man’s life experiences!
[…] This is why I use social media. The ability to connect and reconnect, and yes, build meaningful relationships, even with people we’ve never met before. I was reminded of this several times recently, first in a post from Margie Clayman in which she talked about some of the important online connections in her life. […]