Musings

Sometimes, when a birthday comes, you look back on the last year of your life and you think, “Yikes. Good riddance! Now how can this new year possibly be any worse?”

Other times, you think, “This year was great and I can’t wait to see what’s coming next.”

That’s this birthday for me.

This past year saw a lot of “nevers” become “possibles.” It saw a lot of “can’ts” become “dids.” It saw a lot of “somedays” become visible through a rear-view mirror.

Of course, many of these things would not have happened but for family and the best of friends. They know who they are. Many of these things would not have happened but for you, too.

I leave one year and enter the next feeling the most optimistic, the most lucky, yes, the most blessed, than I have felt throughout my adult life.

As of a few hours ago, this message was going to simply be this. A thank you. A note that sometimes things can take a turn for the better. A note that hope can pop in the weirdest places, if you just keep your eyes open for it.

My feelings of optimism, however, are in stark contrast to the news the online world received today regarding the passing of Mr. Trey Pennington. It is hard to lose someone under any circumstances, but when you hear that someone has ended his or her own life, it sharpens the picture in our own lives. What are we missing in other people? What can we do to alter the path that the people we care about are traveling? Can we do anything?

As we approach the ten-year anniversary of 9/11, the word that keeps coming back to me is love. We need to love each other better. And I don’t mean sloppy kisses and bear hugs love. I mean asking how someone is doing even if you don’t feel great yourself. I mean trying to make someone smile even when they have tears running down their cheeks. I mean reaching out and saying “How are ya” to someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. I mean telling people, in whatever means you can, that they make a difference to you.

When given the choice, I err on the side of showing people too much, too often, that I care. A lot of people roll their eyes at me. “Yes, Margie, no need to get mushy.” But why not irritate people with that nonsense rather than leave them wondering if they register on your mind or in your heart?

This will be a very tough week for so many, between coping with the passing of a great man and then on the other end of the week remembering all of those whose lives also ended inexplicably and for reasons we will never understand. What better time to tell everyone you love that you love them? What better time to tell the people who have made a difference for you that you know they did and do.

This week, give yourself a present and that will be the best present for me. Call that friend you’ve been meaning to call. Give that cousin a hug the next time you see her. Go visit your parents or your siblings. Think about the people who construct the texture of your life, and make sure they all know that you care. Write a post about someone who may not know how much they mean to you. Make a phone call. Relish the fact that those people are still around, and treasure them. This week, we all need to remember how lucky we really are. In these dark days, spread a little sunshine.

It can get better. Hang in there.

Image by Crystal Church. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/twitchtoo

A few days ago, Chris Brogan wrote a post called Take Back Your Strings. In this post, Chris writes that we really should not embrace the idea that people are disappointed in us. He suggests that people feeling disappointed is really more about them, not so much about you. I verbalized over in the comments section that I found the post kind of disconcerting. It’s been almost a week, and it’s still rolling around in my head.

What we are saying when we say we’re disappointed

After initially reading the post, I said that sometimes disappointment can be code for other things. When a person does something and you say you’re disappointed in them, you aren’t always saying, “Man, I thought you could do better.” Sometimes you’re saying, “I’m really worried that you’re doing this.” Sometimes you’re saying, “I don’t understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it.” Sometimes you’re more let down than disappointed. Sometimes you’re actually disappointed in yourself. The English language is surprisingly limiting sometimes, so we use one word, disappointment, to express all of these things.

[Read more…] about I’m Disappointed In You

Well, here we are. The last post of this August series. And I’m setting up to deliver some hard lessons I learned. Kind of mean, huh?

The thing is, this post appeared very differently in my head when Nancy Davis first gave me the idea. She simply said, “Can you do a post about how the Blues Brothers movie ties into Social Media?” I thought it was a gimme. A fun post that I would enjoy writing and that hopefully you would enjoy reading (Ideally). A few days ago I started thinking about it. What angle exactly would I take? What facets of the movie would I use?

Then I realized a fundamental problem. Although I am entirely familiar with the concept of this film, I have never actually sat down and watched the whole thing. I don’t actually know it well enough to write the kind of post Nancy wanted.

Uhoh.

[Read more…] about What I Learned From Not Watching The Blues Brothers

My friend Janice, who I was going to post an interview with as part of the August series, has been waylaid by some personal issues, so I have a spare spot here on the calendar. As it happens, I have some news items that will fit here just splendidly

As some of you may have heard, this weekend I officially stepped into the position of community manager at www.12most.com, a fantastic blog site that I’ve had the opportunity to guest post for over the last few months. Now, this is not a new job. I am still very much the Director of Client Development at Clayman Advertising. This is a very involved hobby!

Because I can’t seem to get the powers that be to work with me in adding more hours to the day, though, something does have to give as I take on this massive new responsibility. The answer seemed pretty clear – my blogging is going to have to slow down a bit. I will be working full throttle to promote other peoples’ posts and my blogging will become a second priority.

Starting next week, September 5, I’m going to be posting Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings here on my site. I’ll be inviting guest posters to join me on Tuesday and Thursdays so you can still have fun things to read here every week. Weekends will be a bit of a grab bag.

I am going to continue my work on The Blog Library as well, which goes right along with the “promoting other peoples’ content” thang I have going on here.

Otherwise, everything is exactly the same! I have not told my television about these developments yet so please do not scare it. I am telling it that we will still bond a semi-regular basis.

Any questions? Concerns? Let me know!

Image by Jaime Bárcena. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/actraiser

So the other night, per Brandon Duncan’s idea, I decided to invite four of my favorite historical figures over for dinner. I cooked a really lovely feast for Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Queen Elizabeth I. Then I showed them this social media stuff to see what they thought about it.

Why are you looking at me like that? Doesn’t this happen to everyone?

Well, anywho, I captured some of our conversation, and I thought I would share it with you here.

[Read more…] about my dinner with Abe, Eleanor, Martin, and Elizabeth

Michael Palko asked me to talk about important lessons I’ve learned over the years. The most important lesson I’ve learned over the years is that in order to truly learn something, you need to experience it and absorb it yourself. This happens when your heart, not your head, is ready. Until you are ready, people could babble wisdom at you all the live long day and it wouldn’t do you a darned bit of good.

Given that, I’m sending out these bits of knowledge I’ve gathered over the years of my life with the idea that if you are ready to absorb these things, they will resonate with  you. If you’re not ready, they will perhaps at the very least roll around in your brain a bit in the meantime

[Read more…] about Lessons I’ve Learned