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Margie ClaymanMargie Clayman

Marietta, OH

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Lessons I’ve Learned

August 24, 2011 by Margie Clayman 22 Comments

Michael Palko asked me to talk about important lessons I’ve learned over the years. The most important lesson I’ve learned over the years is that in order to truly learn something, you need to experience it and absorb it yourself. This happens when your heart, not your head, is ready. Until you are ready, people could babble wisdom at you all the live long day and it wouldn’t do you a darned bit of good.

Given that, I’m sending out these bits of knowledge I’ve gathered over the years of my life with the idea that if you are ready to absorb these things, they will resonate withΒ  you. If you’re not ready, they will perhaps at the very least roll around in your brain a bit in the meantime πŸ™‚

1. One of the worst things you can do is to carry expectations, high or low, of other people. It will seldom work out exactly as you imagined.

2. If you have a problem that is workable, work it. If you have a problem that is not workable, work to find a way to make it so.

3. Failure is not glorious, but it is a fantastic teacher.

4. There is always time to appreciate where you are and what you have. Find it.

5. Everyone really does have something to hide (‘cept for me and my monkey)

6. Never leave angry

7. Know your heart and follow it. Even the people who love you most cannot walk in your shoes 100%

8. If you cannot do it, do not ask others to make it happen.

9. Walk your talk, always.

10. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, it’s easy for it to get broken at the shake of a hand.

11. You never know a person’s story. Do not be quick to judge.

12. Sometimes we put words in other peoples’ mouths because we ourselves believe them to be true.

13. People will almost always disappoint you – if you let them.

14. Ask for help when you need it. Do not play passive-aggressive games or otherwise mislead people.

15. Plans are great, but make sure they are flexible.

16. If life seems overwhelming, look up at the sky, at the stars beyond, and remember what really matters.

17. If you cannot be alone in your own company, others probably won’t want to share in your company either.

18. Eventually, you must make your life your own. Grab the steering wheel and drive.

19. There are no limitations except for the ones you build yourself.

20. This is where you fill in YOUR lesson learned. I’d love to hear what you have learned on your own path!

Thanks for listening πŸ™‚

Image by Vasant Dave. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/vasantdave

Filed Under: Musings

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Stephanie says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:12 am

    Perseverance is the key. Some things that you work at won’t happen overnight. Changes in a bad situation are not instantaneous. When in doubt, as yourself “Am I persevering?”

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:14 pm

      Well said! Persevering is a key to success in many ways. Of course endurance is a close kissing cousin:)

      Reply
  2. Kaarina Dillabough says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:12 am

    I’ll share just a few…I’ve learned that:

    People will rise to the occasion if you empower them with opportunity and support: support in their journey, and support by letting them fail, and learn from their failures.

    Some people you thought were your friends, are not. Some people you never expected to be friends, are.

    You can be and do anything you want in life, as long as you made the decision, and follow through with action. Cheers! Kaarina

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      Well done as always Kaarina. I always love seeing your comments here!

      Reply
  3. Michael Palko says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Thanks so much for agreeing to post what you’ve learned! These are great insights, and you’ve exceeded my expectations.

    I recently blogged about:

    * What I learned on my summer vacation: http://www.timelytext.com/blog/what-i-learned-on-my-summer-vacation

    * Scoring 6 points, or what I learned playing a corporate basketball league: http://www.timelytext.com/blog/i-scored-six-points

    As with your list, our hearts and heads have to ready to absorb these and incorporate them into our lives. Too often for me the pressures and the humdrum of the day-to-day overshadow what’s really important. I’m bookmarking this post and writing down #16 to strategically place it in my path.

    Thanks again!

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:19 pm

      Exactly right Michael. We are very much absorbed in the tiny details of everyday and I think as a result we miss a lot of the big picture. It’s easy for me to say that but of course “it takes one to know one.” glad you liked the post and thanks for the great idea!

      Reply
  4. Kathy Manweiler says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Margie, these are great lessons! Thanks for sharing. Here are a few of mine:

    Have a stubborn determination to be happy. That is a definition of courage.

    Life is nothing but starting over. If you can’t start over, it is over.

    Keep growing gratitude in your heart. It will help you see even very hard times from a better perspective.

    Have a great day, my friend! @kamkansas

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:20 pm

      That is great advice all the way around. Thanks for adding to the conversation!

      Reply
  5. Mara Shorr says

    August 24, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    I LOVE this post AND the replies! As someone who recently started her own business, I know that some of these are easier to follow than others.

    My contribution: You never know where you’ll meet your next friend, so always be ready with an open mind.

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:23 pm

      So glad you enjoyed the post. That’s just what I’m going for πŸ™‚

      Reply
  6. Jim F says

    August 24, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Try to apply “The Golden Rule” every day. You never know what people are going through because most people keep it to themselves. A simple smile or small favor can go a long way.

    If you are a manager or leader try to catch people doing things right and encourage them to do their best at all times.

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:25 pm

      If you study cultures from around the world you come to realize that almost every culture has some version of the Golden Rule. Wisdom is wisdom right?

      Love your point about leadership. I couldn’t agree more!

      Reply
  7. Tom Redwine says

    August 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Great list and kudos to Mr. Palko for the idea. My faves? 5. 11. 16. And 18.

    After reading the comments prior to mine, I’ll just add that since change is our only constant, you have the option to make it work for you! (With apologies to Tim Gunn.)

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:27 pm

      I like that Tom. Glad you liked the post and thanks for your great contribution!

      Reply
  8. Grace O'Malley says

    August 24, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    #3 is my favorite on the list. Learning is an ongoing process that should be celebrated.

    There are a number of things I have learned but the first one that comes to mind is God CAN give you more than you can handle. It’s what you do to overcome those obstacles that make you who you are. It’s important for me to remember that when things are both bad and good.

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:30 pm

      I never liked that saying God won’t give you more than you can handle. I love what you did with if though. Thanks for the comment!

      Reply
  9. Corinne Edwards says

    August 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    Hi Margie –

    This one resonated with me –

    13. People will almost always disappoint you – if you let them.”

    Most of us have been brought up with the obligation to forgive people.

    I think that is a good thing.

    What we also have been told is then you let those people back into your life.

    You can forgive and not invite them to dinner – or if the offense is grave – never see them or give them a chance to hurt you again.

    Most people don’t change much.

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:36 pm

      Or as the saying goes, a leopard can’t change its spots right? Great advice Corinne. Thanks!

      Reply
  10. Claudia says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    Hi Margie…great post…I have so many favorites here…I love #4, #6, #11, #16, #18, #19 Wow…it was hard to choose because you caught me on a pity party type day and these lessons really spoke, maybe shouted, at me. And my life lesson? I take two very important lessons from yoga and meditation…be always mindful and, when all else fails, breathe…it’s all about the breath…

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      Sorry to hear you were having an icky day Claudia. I’m glad the post helped a bit. Thats always great to hear as a blogger. Hope things get better tomorrow!

      Reply
  11. Andrea Donahue says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Lovely list, just lovely!

    Here is one I like: Rumi – Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

    And someone on LJ posted this a long time ago: (paraphrase) Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is carrying some sort of burden.

    Reply
    • Margie Clayman says

      August 24, 2011 at 10:40 pm

      Thanks lady πŸ™‚ I love your addition, and as for the second it really is true. A kind word that you don’t even think about can be a huge difference maker for someone! Thanks πŸ™‚

      Reply

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