Being a complete and total John Lennon nut along with being a possessor of a photographic memory, I happen to know that today marks a key and tragic day in Lennon’s life. You see, it was on July 13, 1958 that John’s mother was killed by a drunk driver. John was just shy of his 18th birthday. It would take years upon years for John to come to terms with this sudden and great loss. Even when he himself died tragically at the age of 40 (which is starting to look younger and younger to me), he had not been able to fully put this loss into a place where he could really wrap his head and heart around it. Even so, John attempted to help others deal with their pain. He did his best to try to help the world while he himself found life almost too trying to deal with. It is this ability to balance the outward and the inward that ultimately makes me respect John a great deal.
This is on my mind, in a round-about way, because I recently read a post by Amber Naslund called What I wish more people knew about me. Amber said a lot of people were writing posts along those lines these days. Her post is lovely, but it didn’t make me want to write a post exactly like that. Rather, it made me want to write a post about what I hope people learn from me, just like I learned from John Lennon (and others) that you can use your own experiences to try to help others who may be in the same situation or in more dire straits. It made me want to try to verbalize what I hope I leave with you when you take the time out to engage with me on a regular basis. It made me reflect on the legacy I hope I am building as I go day-by-day through life.
Ultimately, these things are things I learned myself, either by experiencing it and saying, “Oh!” or by learning at the feet of others. And in the end, while some of these things may be useful for business and may be relevant to a Social Media reality, what they really represent are things I’m trying to reach out and teach others around me in the world at large. Use at will.
So, with all of that in mind, here is what I want you to learn from me.
1. Life can be exceedingly cruel at times, but worrying about that or letting yourself lose time lamenting those dark days doesn’t really get you anywhere. Every minute, every day, you have a choice about how you will handle your life. You can make the conscious decision to reach up and out of that great hole in your heart. You can find stuff to fill it up.
2. What appears to you as a great burden may look like an open door to someone else. Do not be offended at these times, but rather listen and see if the door starts taking shape in your mind. You might begin to see things in a new light.
3. Things that seem easy to you may be intensely difficult to someone else. I can so easily see – well enough to type this post, well enough to do my crafts. I can’t reach or carry things easily and driving is a great challenge, but those things may be so easy for you that you don’t think about them. Take time every day to imagine what your life would be like if you couldn’t do what you are doing right at this minute. And then be grateful.
4. You can succeed without selling your soul. You can even have fun pursuing success.
5. You can succeed without stepping on other people to get there.
6. There is always someone who needs your help, even if you think you are the most beaten down, the most unlucky, the most…whatever. There is always someone who has a harder road to hoe. Always. Even if it may not seem that way to you.
7. Keeping your ears open to big truths, even if your mind isn’t ready for them yet, can save you a lot of time.
8. Patience is a virtue. We hear this all of the time, but until you are forced to reckon it, the saying may not resonate.
9. Do not always assume that it is your fault. Sometimes someone else messes up. Sometimes someone else is the bad guy. Don’t volunteer to step before the firing brigade until you sleep on it a bit.
Now for number 10 I want you to write one thing you want me to learn from you. Or write a post and link here, whichever you choose.
I am not an overly fatalistic person, but I do believe that we can learn something from everyone we meet, even if we just pass by each other oh so quickly in the online world. This is what I hope you can learn from me if we engage in conversation. What do you hope I can learn from you?
This is post #85 in the Engagement Series. If you want to make sure you don’t miss a post, feel free to hit “subscribe!” And thank you!
Image by Svilen Milev. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/svilen001
This is such a great post Margie. I for some reason forgot what today was. I actually celebrate John’s birthday more but also always remember his passing as well. I remember exactly where I was when Lennon got shot.
What do I want others to learn from me? Read this – http://nancyadavis.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/past-the-pain/
Thanks, Nancy. It wasn’t the day Lennon died but rather the day his mother died, so that’s probably why it wasn’t on your radar.
Thanks for sharing your post!!
#10: Don’t be too eager to get over there before you enjoy being here.
And I’d actually love to write a blog post titled 10 Things I Hope You Never Find Out About Me but that would take all the fun out of the Google 🙂
I know, right? Leave some of the mystery there 🙂
I love your bit of wisdom, RoofRoof. Well said!
What a beautiful post:) Such positive light and energy. I know that I still struggle with most of the things that you had on your list but have found the door and the patience as well.
I read Amber’s post and was inspired but as yet have been afraid to post – who wants to read it, did I share too much…but I love this too what can I learn from you – love the reflective engagement.
Thanks so much for sharing and I hope to share a blog post link here soon…
Kelly (Twitter: tribe2point0)
Thank you Kelly! I look forward to that!
Great post, especially #6.
What I want you to learn from me? When you feel you have nothing left to give, keep digging until you find something. It will be there.
Thanks, Chris. So glad you liked it. Great advice!
Kudos Margie on a fantastic post. My #10 is don’t make assumptions. What appears to be true to you on the surface is your own perception of a situation. Don’t count others’ money. Don’t believe that someone got lucky or was an overnight success. Don’t opine on somebody else’s happiness. Focus on yourself and don’t assume that everything you see is what you are seeing.
I like Carol’s. Too many misunderstandings happen because of assumptions. Beautiful post, Margie.
Thanks so much!
Thanks Carol! I love your additions. Assumptions are so easy, yet so dangerous. Potentially lethal combination there for sure. You never know someone’s full story unless you live inside his or her head, and that would just be creepy.
I’d have to agree with that addition of yours Carol :). Well put!
I guess your take on “don’t make assumptions” would go hand in hand with “don’t be envious”. Basically – count your own blessings instead that of others and appreciate what you have to offer and your self-worth – because each one of us is unique and has something that no one else in the world does.
Love this post Margie!
Margie I’m running out of good adjectives to describe your writing, but this one is stupendous. Simply beautiful.
“What do you hope I can learn from you?”
Well, “don’t let nobody never tell you what you can and cannot do, not even me.”
-Pursuit of Happyness
I think I got that wrong.
Thanks, Danny. Sounds right to me. What a great movie that was. I get a little teary-eyed just thinking about it!!
Hello Margie,
The more I “read” you, the more I like you!
My #10 is…..A simple act of kindness goes farther than you think.
The Pink Glitter Princess Bag
There is a princess in my daughter’s class,
I will not mention her name.
This princess has a younger sister and
they both live with their Aunt.
Their mother has left the state and is addicted to drugs.
I’ve seen the father once, carrying a large garbage bag
full of empties.
Quite a few of the kids in the school make fun
of the princess, for her shabby clothes, her unkept
look, and poor social skills.
I know this, because my daughter has told me these things.
We decided after a few talks, that we should intervene,
as this was in our opinions, bullying, and more importantly,
causing emotional damage to the princess.
We schemed as to which route to take. We had to be sure
that we weren’t going to make it worse for the princess,
and we knew this could be a possibility.
It was decided, that my daughter would talk to her teacher,
Mrs. X who was kindhearted and emphathetic by nature and would
surely know how to proceed.
Mrs. X discussed the matter with the principal. My daughter
and I felt some relief, that the school would address it,
and the princess could be happy.
After a month or so, the save the princess plan had
not really been mentioned, when one day my daughter
came to my room and said Mom, I made up my favorite
pink glitter princess bag and filled it with all kinds
of highlighters, pens, pencils and cool stuff. I
just wanted to make sure it was okay for me to bring
it for the princess? She never has any supplies, and
her school folder is barely holding on.
Of course, it was okay, I was so proud of her.
It was HER idea, not from my prompting. I was able
to see that she has grasped the importance of empathy,
a huge life lesson had been taught.
Job well done!
P.S. The princess, well she just LOVED the pink glitter
princess bag, and she made my daughter a homemade thank
you note on her jagged edge notepad paper. :0)
What a fantastic story!! I’m so happy that your daughter decided to do that, and how divine that thank you letter must have been. Great story!!
Missus,
You Are Bigger Than All of It. All of It. 🙂
From the heart.
The Mad Chatter 🙂
Kenny’s comment might be the best comment I’ve ever seen to a blog post.
Ah Kenny. What would I do without you?
10. That there’s a needle in this haystack of a world who’s grateful for the value you enrich it with. Don’t let anyone ever convince you that you ain’t a pot of gold at the end of someone’s rainbow. (More than likely, it’s more than one person.)
So well said, Sumner, as per usual. Thank you for that!
Margie, I just love this…thank you.
My #10 isn’t so much for you as it is for the world.
“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” ~ Henry James
We can never go wrong with kindness….
That’s from crotchety ole Henry James?!? Well I’ll be darned!
Great advice. Even when it’s hard, being kind tends to help things along.
Thanks for stopping by, Susan. So glad you liked the post!
Blog posts such as this Margie is the essence and height of what social media can aspire to be. Thank you for this. And what I’d like to add to the list of “what I’ve learned” is this: Success consists of getting up once more often than you fall down!
Thanks for the inspiration Margie! I wrote my own post/response here- http://yoyoreggio.blogspot.com/2011/07/10-important-things-that-im-still.html
Even though I’m not as heavily involved in social media (yet!), your writing is thought provoking and pulls me back to blogging 🙂