This lovely contribution to the series is by Sandra Parrotto, aka Sam. Sam is at heart, a facilitator. As owner of Qstreet, a leadership and cultural development company, she’s worked with a diverse group of organizations over the past three decades. Being completely inspired to put her hard-earned wisdom to work, Sam is launching a new website, morepurple.com in May, which will create a provocative online conversation about transformation, consciousness and self development. She can be reached at sam@qstreet.com, on twitter @qstreet and fb as Sandra Parrotto
When
Sam
Met
- Smart people, thoroughly committed to their interests and sharing their knowledge.
- Thousands of writers able to expose their work to others.
- An engaged social network of people that challenge, explore and promote any topic that is attention worthy.
- Real people who grapple with relationship and transparency issues – in an open dialogue.
- Connections with others that are unconstrained by geography, economics, status, or age.
- Potential to address the worlds’ issues with those who actively care.
- An accessible, super-powered subculture already at work shaping thought and moving the collective consciousness forward.
My journey began with a celebrity, a class reunion that was promoted through facebook, transition out of a business that I no longer wanted and a personal mission to uncover my hidden creativity.
I was a skeptic, seeking, determined to find the truth about social media and the people who participated in it.
Around the end of July, I searched leadership, self development, coaching, philanthropy and found 40 to follow. I studied and traced their conversations. I read and reread their blogs trying to decipher who they were, what they were attempting to do and how much they were willing to share. How did they do twitter? What were the rules of engagement?
I Lurked! I followed with a watchful eye. In disbelief, I scoured their words for authenticity. I didn’t tweet much in that first month scared to engage for fear of rejection.
There were a few that I ventured into conversation with; @Thebrandbuilder who engaged in an absorbing exchange about leadership with me through dm’s, @Menwithpens not only responded to every reply, but turned every tweet into a literary work of art. I’ve been in her apprentice writing program since September and met the “oh-so-very-extraordinary” @Realchaseadams through @Jonmorrow’s blogger program (a link that James posted). @Melissaonline promotes women and is a delightful person who readily engaged – her lists were invaluable. @Goodmenproject fascinated me, their mission so noble and marketing that functioned like a well-oiled machine – my 1st retweet. @Txblond was the first to respond to an original tweet and many more since. My firsts in twitter!
My head raced as I’d lay my head on the pillow each night: Who are these people? Oh no, what if I tweeted the wrong thing? I could never write like that… nor am I witty or clever…I don’t even possess a sense of humor. Who are these people? This influential sub-culture has existed right under my nose? Where have I been? I had no idea there were so many writers in the world. (amazed) So this is what a blog is. (duh!)
I was ripe for the emotional and intellectual treats offered by the social media smorgasbord. In search of dormant parts of myself, I wanted to be tickled by all things magical – creative thinking, new ways of relating, unconventional perspectives and readily available discussions.
I had become Sam squared, cubed and organized to the 10th power in my business life. Twitter became my muse.
August and September were spent learning – 3 hours a day reading others posts and launching a few of myown. It seemed like once every 2 weeks, I’d get a response. I’d scream, gasp for air and call everyone in my family circle to tell them the good news!
I recently hit the 12,500 @ threshold. I don’t jump up and down, call my friends and scream in euphoria anymore, but I can’t wait to check my Iphone to see who I’ll get to chat with when I wake. Secret? Some nights, I just can’t wait, so I hide my Iphone under the covers and take a peek. Shhh….
One day during September, I wrote a tweet that said, “My mission is to learn how to be a great follower!”
I surrendered my ego, my role as “leader”, and opened my heart to the unpredictable nature of virtual relationships.
It was oddly empowering to feel: insecure, jealous, competitive, embarrassed, inadequate. Isolation aptly described the beginning of my twitter struggle.
My ego didn’t like “non-essential” but I knew that this experience of being “not known” and unimportant – was valuable.
With each tweet that landed in the “echoless vacuum”, my determination to understand – grew. With each tweet that was returned by another, I became more grateful.
I saw my character growth and resulting humility as the cost of the ticket – to play.
I then discovered the #dadstalking hashtag. @Genuine was so willing to answer questions, engage me in a way that reminded me of my “home folks”. @ImtheQ, always outrageous, created a space where I could be “me”. I even had a misunderstanding with @Exhausdad, apologized and made a permanent twitter friend.
Synchronicity was present everywhere. Responding to a link posted by @Geoffliving or @Dancitizen (which, I don’t recall), I enrolled @Dianamalloy, got train tickets and headed to the Mashable Social Good Conference in NYC during UN week. We found ourselves seated across from both of those guys, which I accidentally discovered by asking, “Are you into technology?”
Shortly after Blog World in October, Chase introduced me to the #UsGuys hashtag. What a gift! I had built one-to-one connections filled with personal tidbits, but my ability to know others was limited. Limited because they shared only the part of themselves that was a direct response to me. Group dialogue that included banter, conflict and individual reactions to other personalities, didn’t occur. The #UsGuys hashtag provided a social space where a group of people could focus on a topic, simultaneously, creatively sharing and building a kind of community momentum.
Intimacy among the tribe grew exponentially as I witnessed, first-hand, people simply talking to each other. My desire to be vulnerable within the community increased because of the #Usguys culture.
In real life, when two friends get together and the other isn’t present, the third person has no idea what they missed. #Usguys made it possible because of the transparency, to listen in, to observe others’ communication.
The tribal community answered a social need that everyday twitter couldn’t. One group conversation with 5 people, led to 15 more commenting throughout the next day. It became possible to be connected to many & jump in whenever I felt the urge.
Twitter allows me to see. And, it occurs each and every time someone tweets; it’s reflective, it’s within 140 characters and it’s like waking up with my husband each day. A level of familiarity that typically takes years to acquire is created in 1/10th the time.
We have a daily connection and ability to observe that deepens, alters and ultimately builds a remarkably accurate picture of how we see and relate to one another.
It is an honor for me to be allowed into an aspect of modern day life that I believe will completely alter how society relates to itself. I fantasized about living in the future with Captain James T. Kirk, social media makes that a partial reality.
I talk to @Pramitjnathan in India about human suffering and positive thinking. I share cupcake pics & relationship dynamics with @Myagenda.
I hear about marathons and healthy living from @All_swagga and @Danenow. @Veron is always willing to discuss “truth”. Injustices of the world are the specialty of @Smith_blarney and @Blackrocket. @Grit08 is my personal authenticity meter.
I giggle at @Righteousgeek and revel in his heart. I watch as @PaulaKPorter makes a difference in children’s lives. I get brilliant marketing insight with a hint of mischief from @Nickkellet. I write poetry with @Seanotd. I discover the benefits of homeschooling and engagement from @Mantywebdesigns or @Littlewys. I watch in awe as @Josepf launches one idea after another. I share a virtual Thanksgiving with @Solete while she lived in Barcelona and other “out on the town” events with @mikulaja.
I discuss business with @Seanmcginnis, @SMSJoe and @Fredmcclimans. I’m told that I “rawk” by @Carlsorvino. @Pproethe warmly shares the milestones of his life. I’m mentored by @Margieclayman and @Sandyhubbard. I learn about world events while sharing tv role models from That Girl and the Mary Tyler Moore Show with @Debmorello. And I get priceless support and feedback from my real life pal @SuzyQfollower. I would like to mention every person that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.
For those that I adore but didn’t mention. Alas, space does not permit me to mention every person who has made a difference, intrigued and engaged with me! I would not want this post to have you question how much each of you matter. Thank you for making room in your hearts and sharing life with me.
Thank you for altering my squared up world, making it possible to be re-energized about living in this time and freely giving so much of your creativity to others.
So many of you have generously shared yourselves with me. I have grown, feel like I am welcome and can’t wait to see what we accomplish together.
Howdy! What a round-up of wisdom, clarity and the redemption of a medium. That said, I’m taking a hiatus from #twitter. It is a MUSE, but also a SIREN. A beautiful song can shipwreck a hero.
Again, great round of true-real-deal “@vatars.”
I share your thoughts, thou I had not articulated them w/such clarity. I love your math metaphor (as I believe that -a- math has the best metaphors, and -b- the highest purpose of math is for metaphors
). I can’t describe it, but I’ve felt something of 4D moments through the types of connections you’ve described. (My favorite? “authenticity meter” via @grit08.)
Thanks for sharing @vatars & marvelous insights,
Mark
Mark,
Such an inventive way of thinking you have. Oh…. to find a fellow equation maker. Yes, I can see where twitter can also be a “siren” – it’s a very whole way to describe how anything can become out of balance and begin to fill places that become compensatory rather than creative.
On that train ride with Geoff and Dan, we talked about how the virtual world can start to feel “soulless” sometimes. I had felt it on many occasions by that point and could see that it requires something to stay conscious and choose how to “be” in those very moments.
Thank you so much for responding, sharing your thoughts, I do love reading them. Since this is just my second post ever, I can see how important the dialogue around a post is – both to the heart and for the sheer “spirit” of it.
We need more of Sam in the Twitter. We need more honesty, more caring for others, more sharing that which comes from what makes us human: the heart. Twitter is a better place with you in it. Multiply it, elevate it, enhance it the way only you know how to. As one touched by your transformative magic, I thank you.
Juan, it is no surprise that you talk about all these “more” things we need. I have felt such a connection with your heart since the first moment of meeting you. It seems as if each person puts boundaries on their expression in some for or another. I have a deep desire to keep pushing my own limits within this medium – to see how much I can be full expressive with others – to challenge the status quo of what I consider “human positioning”. I know that each and every time I land make time to hang out in twitterland, that you walk the path with me. Thank you so much!
Monday:02/21/2011
Hi Margie
“Content Rules”??? I’m not sure I want to read this book. I don’t want to become, entangled, inhibited and constrained by rules that someone else developed!
Look at the Book Publishing Industry!! Writers, Publishers & Distributors are still operating under rules and traditions that are 200 or 300 years old. Those rules & traditions are one of the reasons they are failing today.
Cordially
Mike
Glad to see you blogging Sam you’ll be a welcomed addition. Since we’ve connected I learned two things about you and that is you build real relationships and keep your promises. Glad to connect and I look forward to your launch in MAY.
As do you, my friend, as do you! So often when I was feeling all of those “not so fun” emotional experiences, I would find you to chat with. It was like I would begin to lose steam and then voila, you would appear. I don’t think you knew it, but your willingness to talk about things that weren’t so superficial, that had to do with how we see and experience life, provided the depth that I need to stay engaged. You have a worthy mission yourself and I am honored to share in the path that you walk. Thank you for commenting – it makes the 15 hours I labored over this, all the more worth it.
Sam,
You’ll be really impressed to know that I read it end to end, without distraction.
I didn’t tweet, switch tabs or anything
You held me from beginning to end.
Mischief or not! You kept me still and engaged me.
Great post!
I am impressed that you read it. Always the challenge to write “post size”.
Reading the post to the end, seems like it’s really about the size of your heart – your capacity to give it in friendship. Thank you! you’ve been an amazing mentor and friend for me. There are some days that get made more complete simply because I saw you floating by in the stream.
To many more of these moments – it is my pleasure to share this time together.
Wow Sam, it definitely sounds like Twitter has been quite the journey for you…and you’ve worded it wonderfully! I imagine there are thousands of stories like this but there’s an authenticity you give it in your writing, a real emotion! Well done and congrats on all your experiences and reltionships…after all, that IS what this journey is about!!
Cheers
@MatthewLiberty
Hi Matthew,
The energy that you bring to the twitter stream is simply incredible. You are one of the most consistent and supportive voices among the group. Your comments on my post demonstrate once again that you take time, you share and extend yourself on the behalf of all of us. Thank you for your great comments. There’s nothing like having a peer see “authenticity” in me. One of my personal commitments in life!
I put down my phone and clapped when I finished reading this post. Thank you for your beautiful post that paints such an awesome picture and tells such an incredible story. I may just stand now and clap one more time.
In my dreams, I couldn’t have imagined a response like the one you gave. I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to expand that much – 100 times in the matter of the 3 seconds that it took to read your comment. That kind of spontaneous, light-hearted, generosity goes straight to the core – it certainly went to mine. Thank you so very much!
Hi Sam.
I was intrigued by your title so I was happy to check out what you were saying because I am lost in getting the true value out of twitter.
I have managed to get to 1000 followers in a short time but feel this is a rather empty achievement. I get the odd @mention. I have spent a lot of time trying to engage but not really getting anywhere.
Your post is a good lesson in really working from the basics upwards. I will be giving it a lot of proper attention. I would just love somebody to reply to my general tweet so I can really feel the excitement you had at yours.
I am not worried about Twitter as a way to drive traffic to my blog. I really want to meet and connect with people who I would not otherwise meet.
First job for me – persevering in talking with people based on their tweets.
Thanks for the encouragement
I Get It! This is such a tough “start” for people. I know it was for me. Am I following you? Are you following me? Let’s see if we can alter your experience on twitter.
Totally appreciated your “next step” – I do think perseverance is the key. I love it when people respond to anything that I’m engaged in. Can’t imagine that those you follow won’t love it, too.
Hope you’ll follow those that I mentioned, too! and let them know that you heard about them from me – perhaps it’ll make it just a bit easier.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post about my journey. I am pleased to think that I might be able to cause a fellow tweeter to find a place in the stream that they can feel comfortable and wanted in.
Good luck
and much determination…
Great Post Sam
can’t wait to interact more w you 
you have some amazing mentors here for sure ….. !
I followed you – looking forward to the same
It is amazing how much Twitter has to offer once one is aware, and how deceptive our original perceptions can be!
Sam, your enthusiasm is palpable. All that’s needed is an open mind, and it’s amazing how quickly one can get pulled into this fascinating new world of online communication. Your sentiment about how it “will completely alter how society relates to itself” I think is key. Just from our chat last night, I could sense a determined personality that yearns to make things better by relating better, otherwise what’s the point? We didn’t talk long, but you changed my way of looking at things and gave hope for a better way forward.
I can’t wait to see how you continue pursuing your personal dreams of stimulating provocative online conversations about transformation, consciousness and self development. It is needed and the time is ripe.
And just from our chat last night, I saw a man who cares deeply about those he invests in. We were able to contemplate a vision, because of who you are, which extends far beyond the tribal characteristics that we can see at this moment.
I am more excited about the entire process because of our shared moment. So glad that you liked my post and even more grateful that you took the time to comment about it. I appreciate your commitment, your intention & your talent – all of which make a huge difference within the #usguys community.
Thank you Paul – hearts to you!
Great post Sam.
I am grateful to have developed relationships with many of the same people on your list, and hopeful to be able to kindle even more in the coming months and years.
As much as I cherish our online interaction, the two phone conversations we have had have been even more meaningful. As I consider the role Twitter plays in my life, I’m to model what I’ve come to think of as the Twitter as Springboard mentality – using Twitter to discover and build initial relationships with interesting and intelligent people – followed by IRL interactions that serve as a rocket booster.
You’re a wonderful example of what’s possible with this model. I hope to meet you in person very soon.
I thought about your response all night – even quoted it to a couple of people. There is no question that connection on twitter reaches limits and without the opportunity to go beyond – I would be left “unfilled”. You are so right about how much more I could connect with you after we talked via phone. Now, when I see you comment in the stream, there’s an added layer of connection that I feel. I smile, am glad you’re doing alright and don’t necessarily hop on. I register what’s happening for a later time when I have a chance to chat with you. There’s a peace, a safety, about the “us” developing that lends itself to my other interactions too. Like, I know you “get me” so if I get into a conversation where someone doesn’t, you’ll likely have my back. So… totally agree! And thank you for taking the time to comment. This being my second ever post, it’s very encouraging for me. Can’t wait for the future!
You can see very plainly in The Stream how introverts and extroverts swim differently. We introverts like to explore a topic philosophically , and then process it deeply and personally.
Extroverts keep the momentum going, with their enthusiasm and talent for meet-and-greet. They’re also great at 3-word @replies! (I still have a hard time fitting anything into under 140-characters!)
And together, we introverts and extroverts, keep the stream flowing.
After a few months in #usguys, @josepf and I started experimenting with an offshoot — #uslivewell — when we realized that a lot of us in the stream are consultants and knowledge workers who spend hours-upon-hours in front of our computers and forget to take care of ourselves.
We hoped #uslivewell would be a fun way to encourage each other to take self-care moments (exercise, meditation, organic vegetables… whatever!) away from our computers. This gave birth to the “#uslivewell check-in” where you simply tweet what self-care you acheived for that day!
There was a lot of talk — in the early days of Twitter and Facebook — about the positive possibilities of social media… but talk was mostly all there was.
Twitter came alive for me when I discovered #usguys and started to interact. The conversations were dimensional: sometimes funny and light, other times deep and meaningful; and, often, intelligent. Thanks for a thought-provoking post, Sam — and thank you, Margie, for creating space for it.
{ twitter = @danenow }
Hi Dane,
I’m thinking that you consider me an extrovert – found myself wondering if it was true. The social media world does thrive because of the different ways that people approach relationship. Nick Kellet often talks about knowing your role within the tribe. Perhaps this is what you point to, as well. That we each play our role and the more completely we play it, the more the entire community can shine.
I remember when you started your #uslivewell initiative. Thought it was brilliant and a way to bring added value to the community. Now that we have the website and are beginning to organize a bit, I’d like to think that these kinds of ideas can draw even more participation.
I so enjoy you, your unique bend on the world and the intense focus brought to anything that you give attention to. Thank you for your time, your awareness and the gift of you.
Thanks for the shoutout to The Good Men Project (@goodmenproject). We are honored to be your first RT.
As content publishers, it never ceases to amaze us that the minute we get an insightful truth (as we see it) about a difficult matter, that’s when the conversation really begins. It shows the importance of these conversation.
I often say that social media “accelerates serendipity.” And @jeffjarvis pointed out that serendipity is “unexpected relevance.”
Long live Twitter!
Lisa,
There’s such an integrity in your work, in The Good Men Project, insightful truths being at the root of conversation helps to explain why. You support the development of relationships in society at profound levels and the business that surrounds this mission is really impressive. This can only occur when you maintain high standards for quality of relationship within the business.
I hold this theory that we’re drawn to others in social media because of a “knowing” or familiarity connected to our individual consciousness. When I think of The Good Men Project, my heart recognized a parallel path, was inspired by it and have learned from you along the way. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and go beyond to write a comment. Once again, I am blown away by you.
beautiful song now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx0U3PsKT7Q