What if I actually like you?

Something has been bothering me for awhile, and darn it all if I need to get it off my chest. It’s like this. Sometimes, lord knows why, I actually like people. I know. It’s a weakness. I’ve tried electro-shock therapy, a frontal lobotomy…everything you could think of, and yet nothing can break me of the habit. Sometimes I like people because they have a great sense of humor. Sometimes I like people because they are kind and warm and giving. Other times, I like people for too many reasons to really verbalize succinctly.

It’s a problem. I know.

Now, here’s the real problem. Here in the world of social media, people are giving those of us suffering from, oh, what shall we call it…humanness? a bad name. For example, have you ever noticed that a person will talk to you and then suddenly drop you like a hot tamale as soon as a person with a bigger following comes along? Have you watched as kind of wicked people turn their charm up to sugar cookie level once a well-known person pops by?

I know you have. Don’t you even start lying to me now. We’ve been through too much together.

The real bummer is that sometimes I like people who happen to have a lot of Twitter followers. Sometimes I even like people who have written books or have been on the telly-vision. I don’t really set out to like these folks just because. There are literally millions of people who have millions of Twitter followers that I couldn’t give a rat’s poopy about. But sadly, I fear that my desire to reach out to folks in a real and genuine way is getting grouped in with the people whom I lovingly refer to as the social climbers. You know…the people who are nice because it helps them get one more step closer to…Twittervana? I’m not sure what they’re going for. But it helps them, apparently.

This ticks me off.

Let’s set the record straight

I realize that my word is only as good as a grain of salt, and probably not even a big lump of sea salt. But here we go.

If I’m nice to you, it’s probably because I want to be nice to you. I don’t care how many followers or fans or books or boogers you have. Well, maybe that last one could cause some problems, but even so!  I have lived most of my life without Twitter, without Facebook. Heck, I lived more than half my life without computers, period. During those formative offline years, I learned what kinds of people I like and what kinds of people I don’t, and social media has not changed these opinions (if anything, social media has solidified them).

To this point, I’m afraid that even though people may view me cynically or with doubt, I’m going to continue being nice to the people I want to be nice to. If I want to write a smushy post about a friend of mine, I’m going to do it. If I want to promote a person’s blog post, I’m going to do that. If I’m going to talk to them about extremely important issues like the state of the world and the fact that there is a recipe for unicorn poop cookies, I will also do those things. If these people have 2 Twitter followers, I will carry on. If they have 2 million Twitter followers, I will carry on. And if people want to scorn me and think that I am a kiss-up or that I am just after linkbait or whatever, that’s cool.

But I hope that people I like know that I actually like them. I’m a simpleton that way. I just like people. Or I don’t. And you don’t have to do a darned thing about it. Numbers really don’t matter to me where people are involved. I’m not scheming. I’m not strategizing all over ya. I just think you’re fab.

Know what I’m talkin about?

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/moffoys/3553322847/ via Creative Commons

28 comments

  1. Margie.
     
    The reason your word is worth more than a grain or seventyeleven of salt is because you mean it. And as someone who also feels like she’s explaining herself most of the time, please don’t ever stop being who you are. In fact, you’ve been one of the people who I have always found consistently kind, relentlessly positive, and as genuine as they come. I learn a lot from you.
     
    When it comes to people, most of the time, strategy sucks. I like YOU. And I mean it when I say the world could use a few more Margies.
     
    With unicorn cookies and hulkwolves in spades,
    Amber

  2. This is one of my all time favorite blogs I’ve read (besides my pal Amber Lee) lol..I flunk at twitter.. though I tryf or friends to retweet things…big time and blog for fun only, but love to read and comment if they tickle my fancy.  Yours certainly did!
     
    Please could I have the recipe for unicorn poop cookies?
     
    ~*~    Ann Jane

  3. Love this, Margie! And I DO know exactly what you’re talking about! (And by the way… I like you, too! …cause you’re kinda awesome!) 
     
    And here’s something: I LIKE working with people that I LIKE, don’t you? So for me, it’s a win-win. I am pretty black and white, too –if I like you, you’ll know. If I don’t, you’ll figure it out pretty fast! 
     
    Great post! 

    1.  @gwenmorrison Thanks Gwen. Yeah, it seems like it should be that simple, but I see more and more people who are just kinda…not fer real. So I thought I’d try to put my flag in the sand and say my piece! 

  4.  @margieclayman Love, love, love this, and thank you. Why on earth do people who are geniunely nice have to keep justifying themselves? You are one of the most honest, straightforward, and yes, nicest people I know. I like you for you – not what you can do for me. What about that is hard to understand?
     
    Please don’t worry about those other folks, sadly, they could learn a few things from you, and won’t.

    1.  @Sherree_W I don’t know. It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? The poopy people just keep plugging away and us nice folks are always bowing saying, “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” Definitely weird. 🙂

  5. I knew you liked me before you wrote this, Margie…. but thank you.  I keed!   You’re super-generous – I’m sure that everyone that interacts with you has seen the affection you have for people.  Those that haven’t probably have far too many boogers to care about anyhow.  😉 

    1.  @leaderswest This is dedicated to a man named Jimmmmmmm.
       
      Yes, I think I’m going to create a site competitive with Klout & Kred, and it will be all about boogers. That will get me on the front page, right???

  6. Margie, I totally agree with you and I think this exists just as much in real life as in the virtual one. I tend to chalk it up to human nature and assume it wasn’t a real friendship to begin with. 

  7. Margie-you have some audacity going around liking people under your own free will!  The nerve… Even the small glint of potato that I am in SM (you see b/c I’m not big enough to even be called a small fry…ha) I’ve learned that I take what I want, I give what I want, and I leave the rest!!  Here’s to doing things YOUR way and not theirs!  *clink*

    1.  @tracyschutz You’re a big tater tot if you ask me! It is audacious of me though. I know you’re right. *sigh* What are ya gonna do? All I can say is, like Lady Gaga, I was born this way. Is there hope for me? Is there, Tracy?!?

  9. It is not being a simpleton, it’s sweet, and human.

    What you have described is not peculiar to SoMe, it is the nature of social climbing. These people have a bigger aganda than getting to actually know people. They are focused solely on the next person that can move their career, blog, widgets, whatever to the next level.

    For most of us, the social component is important, It is through honest and authentic relationships that we make long-lasting and important connections. Important, because humans are meant to live in community.

    I know exactly what you are talking about….Don’t change a thing!
    I like you just the way you are.

    Martina
    @martinamcgowan

    1.  @Martina McGowan  Well, glad to know, as always, that I’ve got you on my team, Ms. Martina. I guess it just never really occurred to me to use people that way, and now that I’ve gone so long without using them that way, I just kinda don’t want to start. Hm. I think that may be okay though. I kind of like things the way they are too 🙂

  10. Great post and made me think – I agree with Martina – it’s sweet and human –
     
    I believe we forget how to be human in the days of electronics and emails….
     
    Maybe even sending a real note to someone instead of an email – imagine that?
    Nancy

  11. I hear you Margie. But I don’t think this type of behavior is confined to the social web. Since junior high school, people have formed relationships for the sole purpose of moving up in their perceived social hierarchy. I’m the same way, though. People are people. Superhumans only exist in comic books. I don’t really want a relationship with anyone who doesn’t want a relationship with me, regardless of how “ahead” it may get me (whatever that means). But, I actually do care about people’s boogers. That’s kinda important.

  12. Love this, Margie and agree. I don’t have that “be calculatingly social” gene. I don’t know how to do that.  So I tend to build relationships and have a real relationship-based business. And it works great. Trust is in short supply in the world and when we are good to our word, kind, giving and true good things happen.

  13. Ok. But seriously, how many TIMES did you try shock therapy?
    (yes, it IS a sickness… I, however, am cured!)
    You simply crack me up.

  14. I really like you too. 🙂 In fact, I like pretty much everyone I meet until they give me a reason not to. Then that hurts. But I at least I know. 😉 

  15. Can you hold off writing that mushy post about me? I have some things I want to take care of first before people start showing up at my place; I knew you would understand, thanks. 
     
    Ah yes, the shiny penny; as the grizzled veteran now and way beyond chasing, I feel I can weigh in with a totally unbiased opinion on this matter. Yes, I see it as people think it’s ‘important’ to be associated or seen with the ‘right’ people. They might like you and even acknowledge you at times, but if you aren’t high enough on the totem pole, then the chance they spend much time at your place (mine) are pretty slim. It’s not like I don’t see them everywhere else; but life is all about choices and if you feel I don’t bring value with what I have to say, then I wouldn’t hang out at my place either. 
     
    Perception and appearances can be deceiving however; how do you distinguish between what appears to be chasing and when you really like someone regardless of their ‘social’ status? 
     
    Hmmm……

  16. I intentionally waited to comment to see if someone really important would come by but no one did so I figured I should add one more to the pot.
     
    Oops, did I just insult everyone here, doesn’t matter because it is social media and everyone  knows that no one means what they say or says what they mean.
     
    I love climbers but they don’t love me very much. I am not good at hiding my feelings. If I like you it is obvious and if I don’t, well it is usually obvious too.

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