I have to just go on ahead and say something. Are you ready? It might ruffle your feathers a little bit, so be ready.
I think the romanticization of swearing in blog posts is really, really stupid.
Phew. I feel better.
I remember when I first started blogging and I heard about bloggers who were called things like “edgy,” “brave,” or otherwise “awesome.” The majority of people so labeled write blog posts that kind of feel like you ran into a sailor who decided to write about content marketing, social media, or something related. Bloggers labeled “edgy” or “brave” average 2-3 f-bombs a post. Often their headlines get you started with a nice f-bomb or how “crappy” something is or how they’re calling BS or how so and so is an a-hole, etc.
*yawn*
What’s really interesting is that a lot of female bloggers seem to have found success in the online world not because they are writing content that is particularly useful or actionable but rather because they are writing content that is “edgy and brave.” In other words, they are cussing a lot.
Oh my, a woman who swears! How AWESOME!
Or is it?
I’m no prude
Let me take one possible response to this post out of play immediately. It would be easy to assume that I am writing this from the perspective of some fragile little lady who just thinks swearing is the worst thing since unsliced bread. To be honest, and to my father’s chagrin, I have quite the potty mouth, especially when playing Mario Brothers on the Wii, apparently. I can’t sing some of my most favorite songs in polite company because they are rife with yucky words. Cussing is not something I think about if I’m in familiar company or in a setting where it doesn’t seem completely inappropriate.
‘Nuff said, right?
So why does blogging f-bombs p…tick me off?
Truthfully, the act of incorporating cuss words into blog posts doesn’t really rub me the wrong way. I mean, it depends on the blog site, I suppose. If you are writing as the CEO of a company, it’s my personal opinion that you shouldn’t sit there and write like you’re a rapper straight outta Compton. But that’s just me. A blogging style is a blogging style.Who am I to tell anyone what to do?
What bugs me is a two-fold issue. First, there is the omnipresent feeling that if you are using cuss words in your blog posts, you are REALLY at the peak of the blogging game. Ain’t nobody holding you back, man. You are going to write naughty words and you’re going to use them as often as possible.
This strikes me as a very juvenile way to approach writing, especially writing that is often developed in a professional setting. Now, maybe I’m crazy (many of accused me of such), but if I am sitting down with a new client, am I going to sit there and talk like Cartman from South Park? Am I even going to discuss my favorite scenes from South Park? I wouldn’t. So here on my blog, which is an online representation of my professional self, I do not use that kind of language or those kinds of allusions.
The other problem I have though is that there seems to be a sentiment that a woman blogger can make a bigger splash if she cusses as much as possible. If you run down the list of some of the most highly-trafficked blog sites run by women, you are likely to see a plethora of unsavory words. These women are literally shining with the “I’m as macho as any man” aura. They’re going to be tough and they’re going to cuss and they’re going to call people out and talk about how stupid everyone else is.
Why is that awesome again?
The Liz Strauss model
Personally, I would love to see more women given kudos who write like Liz Strauss. Other women who fall into this category include Lisa Petrilli, Heidi Cohen, Peg Fitzpatrick, and Sherree Worrell. These women do not need to add a layer of 6″ thick machismo to their blogs for the excellent content to get shared and noticed. They are applauded, like many male bloggers are, because their posts are really, really good. There is content people can use. There is content that is helpful.
Now that’s a concept. Applauding bloggers for writing good content. Huh.
If you’re a cusser, you’re a cusser.
Of course, there are women who just genuinely are potty mouths and don’t really care what anybody thinks, just like there are men who don’t care what kind of language they use. That’s groovy and stuff. I would still posit that you are not wreaking of professionalism when you write that way, but that’s just me and my background. However, if a person is writing in a manner true to him or herself, you can tell. And their content will still have substance. The people who are just cussing because it’s “cool” you can also identify pretty easily. For example, their content really doesn’t leave you thinking anything other than, “Wow, that was a lot of cuss words for such a short post.”
Am I on to something here? Am I *really* crazy? What are your thoughts on this issue? I’d love to hear ’em!
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ventriloblog/15498679/ via Creative Commons
I couldn’t agree with you more about using profanity. Since I read blogs mostly by men and women in sales and marketing, I have not witnessed the increase of this trend.
The words edgy and brave for me do not appear to have the same reaction that you write about. Individuals be them women or men who resort to using cuss words (for the most part) demonstrate their lack of vocabulary, lack of respect to others as well as critical thinking skills. There is a time and place to use profanity.
Maybe it is because I am older, I view the use of profanity as limiting one’s creativity and thinking. There are many ways to be noticed, to stand out.
Another element regarding the use of cuss words revolves around emotional intelligence. From my observation, the use of these words suggest lesser emotional intelligence because you as the writer are not aware of the emotions of others.
@LeanneHoaglandSmith i think it was Malcolm X who was asked once about why he doesn’t swear more. He said something very similar to what you are saying here. If you have to resort to cuss words to make your point in a forceful manner, you must not have a very strong vocabulary. I like that line of thinking!
@margieclaymanThanks for the affirmation, Margie.
Your questions are fascinating. Questions, in fact, can be worthwhile. They can unlock doors to self-discovery. And understanding. And, hopefully, compassion too.
What does it take to make us sexy enough to be readable? High or low language? A pic? A bright or epic idea?
And what about vulnerability?
Thanks Margie! Thanks for getting me to ask questions of myself – questions that I might not have asked myself if I had not read your blog post. That’s something.
@Faryna Confused as to why something has to be “sexy?” Possibly a better phrase might be emotionally engaging especially depending upon your target audience.
@Faryna Thanks Stan. Glad you liked it! 🙂
I really wanted to respond in another way by saying a few of my favorite words. But I am such a fan of Margie I could not proceed.
On the other side I was very against using profanity online until last year around April I read Enchantment where Guy explains their might be occasions where it is acceptable. I am not sure If I went a big overboard on those occasions but I felt better after I let a few people know how I felt.
I guess it is not a matter of gender. If you don’t have a good reason to use those words I recommend you stay away from them. I do agree with you Margie. When I am in Ohio as an ex service member I would love to go for drinks with that Sailor in the pic.
@RaulColon You’d go out to lunch with that sailor instead of me? Geeze. And here I thought we were friends! :)Other folks beat you to the punch. Just go on ahead and wail away!
Great points! If I’m reading a post and I see and a swear word or two, I kind of bypass it. But when I see the posts like the ones you’ve written about here, I find myself thinking, “Oh, tough guy, huh?” (or “tough girl” — whatever the case may be). It seems to me that many of those people are insecure about their ideas and trying to cover it up with a kind of bullying attitude, like if they seem menacing enough, everyone will take them seriously. Mostly, I just think those people are jerks.
@writingrenee Yeah, it does come across as bullying, doesn’t it? Like you won’t feel comfortable disagreeing, or it might make you look stupid because the blogger makes such a “strong” case. I don’t like blogs like that at all, but unfortunately a lot of them find success. Go fig.
@margieclayman Exactly! I’m afraid to talk or voice any kind of opinion around those people because it’s obvious that they’re the only ones who can be right. At least that’s the impression they give me when they’re swearing up a storm to make a point.
Brave post Margie, because I’m sure by late this afty there will be some pushback. Lol! I personally don’t do much cussing *in* my blog (out of it though…? Whoa, like a *sailor*!) – that said, ‘swears’ don’t really bother me. It’s pretty easy to suss out the “you’re only doing this to be cool” people. One of the key ingredients in writing is *voice* – generally speaking if your authentic (ugh – hate that word) voice contains F-bombs, then your cuss filled posts will read as natural and real to me. But maybe that’s just because I’m a potty mouthed ex-Maritimer! 🙂
@belllindsay Voice is something that many bloggers don’t understand. Or maybe it is a matter of their not being aware of it, I am not really sure.
What I know is that the best writing comes from using our own voice and that it takes time to figure it out. That is why some people can say “America, Fuck Yeah” and sound “cool” and others can’t.
Woohoo, I am a rebel.
@TheJackB HA! In Canada we say “Canada!, er, *frig*, did I just bump into you? I’m sorry!” 🙂
@belllindsay You Canadians are so polite. I am rather fond of you and your funny looking Monopoly money.
If I spent more time roaming around the frozen north I would put patches on my pockets because carrying all those Looney and Tooneys around is rough on the threads. 😉
@TheJackB I’ll let you in on a little secret: we’re not really all that polite – simply lulling the world into a false sense of security, at which point we’ll club you like baby seals with bags of coin money.
You guys have been cracking me up all day! 🙂 @belllindsay @TheJackB
@belllindsay That is why whenever I walk down Yonge Street I wear a Maple Leafs jersey and carry a helmet. Every now and then I mumble in French and talk about how life is better in Quebec.
No one can figure out if I am an angry pepper or just crazy.
@TheJackB HAHAHAHAHA!!!! You kiss your mother with that mouth..!!?? Good thing you have that helmet on!! #LifeIsBetterInQuebec???
@belllindsay@TheJackB We’re working with jack, but it’s a slow and tedious process 🙂
@belllindsay I spent the summer of ’90 working at a camp a couple of hours outside of Toronto. When I first got there they wanted to know if I was in a gang and how many celebrities I saw each day.
I told them that during the week I saw as many celebrities as they saw polar bears walking down the street.
It also happened that summer that a fight broke out between a few of the maple syrup slurping Canucks from Ontario and the raging wannabe Frenchies from Montreal.
It made for a quite a moment, let me tell you. And of course I kiss my mother with this mouth. #momwillalwaysloveme. 😉
@margieclayman@belllindsay Might as well give that up. I was labeled incorrigible by the nuns.
P.S. I typed that last line slowly so that the people with funny accents can keep up. I’ll let you figure out who that refers to, if anyone.
@TheJackB Mmmmmmmmm, maple syrup. 😉
@TheJackB You are a rebel!!! My poor delicate ears 🙂 Voice is key though. And once you meet a person offline, you really get a feel for whether that swearing is “really” them or whether it’s just an act. I’ve heard stories.
@margieclayman You have heard stories and I tell them. We ought to sit down, imagine what we could accomplish.
OTOH, the advantage of telling stories is that I could always make up what happened when we sat down. Would save time, but might not turn out as you expect. 😉
@TheJackB Never mess with writers. That’s a core rule to follow in life 🙂
@margieclayman Nope, not a rebel. Best part of being forty something is that I don’t have to rebel. I am just me.
@belllindsay It depends on the blog’s environment and what the blogger seems to be trying to do. If they really don’t have good arguments but they are letting the f-bombs fly, I immediately become suspicious. But then, I am naturally suspicious at heart 🙂
@margieclayman “But then, I am naturally suspicious at heart…” Methinks we might have been separated at birth! 🙂
When I was a kid we had to make up games to play because we did not have all the games technology has brought. We cooked over camp fires.We spent a whole morning gathering up china berries, made a stock pile the we threw them at one another until the stock pile was depleted.
One thing we (my seven siblings and I ) did was to form a circle and think of the worst word we could think of. Oh my, mine was so bad. It was “chicken butt” Later on through my school years and English teacher told us that those who use curse words had a lack of vocabulary.
An interesting thing I found when I started my career was being around a person daily who uttered profane language unknowingly influence you into using cuss words. I would like to find myself portraying my character with truth and integrity and turning the tables. Influence them in such a manner that they will not use profanity in your prescence.
Would you like to hear your President of the United States swear. Would you like to hear Hilary Clinton swear?
@GrandmaOnDeck Oh man, I can’t believe you’re using such filthy language on my blog site, Gloria. I am just shocked. Chicken butt indeed 🙂
Funny how words lose their power as you learn better ones, huh?
I don’t know that influencing people always works. A lot of people live by the “A leopard can’t change its spots” credo, and that’s fine. I just know that there are a lot of people who find the use of such language offensive (my dad being one, when it’s coming from me), so I try to stay away from it just to avoid alienating folks for a dumb reason. Now alienating people for a good reason – I’m all over that 🙂
I can remember when my Dad’s mother came to visit. She was a straight laced North Carolinian woman with a strong christian background. I was cutting out paper dolls for my baby sister when I cut off an arm of the paper doll. I exclaimed “:Oh Darn !” My grandmother immediately got my mother. Would you believe I was sent out to get my own switch. What I meant was perhaps if I spoke and acted without the foul words people would respect me and not use them in my presence.
margieclayman Oh Margie- you crack me up!
First of all I have to comment that your picture in this post looks like the Elvis Costello version of Popeye. HA (Is it bad that I laugh at my own jokes…?!)
Now, serious talk: I guess your voice is your voice and if your blog is just a personal space to rant and rave, then knock yourself out. However, if your blog is representing business, then No- your writing voice should not spew forth diarrhea.
I also agree with you that people should not be promoted to the top because they’re breaking some unspoken “bad girl” etiquette laws. Gimme a break. That’s like Trump getting publicity for his hair.
@tracyschutz Yep, it’s pretty darned ridiculous. No question about it! Glad I made ya laugh 🙂
I have been waiting for this post, waiting. I agree with most posters that using a cuss word is attention grabbing because rudeness seems to be the way that some people, with limited imaginations, think of it as the only way to get their point across. I also think the concept of women doing the cussing has lost its shock value. Remember when women kissing women was a big deal? I am so over it. At a former company I strategically used a cuss word in a meeting with my boss as a way to get my point across. Because I had never done it before and didn’t use it after, it did make its point and I think it actually increased his respect for me in some small way. Using swear words in speech is way different than actually writing it down, because let’s face it, words that are written/published aren’t forgotton, they follow.
I think swearing can be a good tool to use, but really never in a professional setting; not in an email, blog post or even in a tweet. It just isn’t a great precedence to set when doing business. So if you have a personal blog, go for it, but watch how it links to your professional life, it will never leave you and it may limit how far up a ladder you may climb.
@smmanley Glad the post resonated with you!
I’m not sure women necessary cuss sometimes because it’s shocking – I think it just sort of is a way to talk the talk of business. It’s okay for guys in business to cuss so women should be able to as well. And that’s fine. But it just gets grating when the same approach is used in blog post after blog post. It becomes more schtick than something necessary or pointed. I dunno. It could just be me, but it seems darned gratuitous most of the time.
It’s almost as if you read my mind on this post. I don’t ever use the F*bomb on my blog, because I want everyone to enjoy the content I provide. How I speak around friends and family is a whole other issue, but I am mindful of those who can’t stomach ridiculously overused language. I even add that to my guest post guidelines page: “#3. Keep the language PG. I won’t sniff at the occasional “damn” or whatnot, but don’t go overboard. I like everyone to enjoy the posts on this blog. Plus, I feel that if you’re a good enough storyteller, you don’t need crass language for extra impact. You’re already a star!”
Excellent post, Margie!
P.S. Cussing like a sailor for emphasis is cool–when you’re in 7th grade trying to impress your equally immature friends.
@amberrisme Yeah, I think 7th grade was right around the time I started cussing and realizing that it wasn’t really all that big of a deal. The shock value wore out pretty darned quick.
Glad you liked the post. Thanks for commenting! 🙂
I agree. Your blog is presenting your professional image to the world. You don’t want it to be rife with curse words. Do I use them? Yes. Sparingly. But never on my blog. Just can’t do it, so I really get what you’re saying…
@CCelli73 Thanks. Glad to hear it 🙂
This is very timely. I have struggled with when and where profanity is appropriate in professional writing. For example, I wanted to write a post about Youtube. I wanted to feature some videos of people making fun of bad grammar and hate comments. These types of videos are going viral and have become a meme themselves. Yet, the post would be impossible to write without labeling NSFW. Not because of my cursing, but because Youtube is full of people who like to inflame others.
I think it is still worth discussing, but how can you write about it in a way that won’t turn away your audience?
@susansilver Yep, I know what you mean. I run into this all the time with Julien Smith. I love his writing but almost every subject line has an f-bomb in it. With him it’s just awesome cuz he’s cool like that, but I still hesitate to share it in my Twitter stream because I know a lot of people would be taken aback. Now I know there are people who say i shouldn’t care about that, but I’m just programmed that way. I wouldn’t say it’s right or wrong. As many of said, it’s a matter of taste.
Disagree (and I’ll be nice about it). First of all, I don’t know from where this statement originates: “there seems to be a sentiment that a woman blogger can make a bigger splash if she cusses as much as possible.” Again, it’s another generalization that doesn’t have much merit other than an opinion. But that’s cool.
Secondly, it’s a matter of tastes. Some people dig Jerry Seinfeld, some people dig George Carlin. Both are great comedians in their own right. Those people who blog for business (especially corporate business) would probably be wise to refrain from questionable language simply to maintain a broader pool of prospects. Of course there is plenty of business to be had in the tattoo/motorcycle/youth markets (etc) who are not as put off by questionable language.
Third, over the past year, I’ve discovered some of the freshest, most original female bloggers on the web and guess what? They swear like sailors. Guess what else? They have a level of engagement on their blog that would shame most bloggers (male or female). Last thing? They could care less what you think. Why? Because they just “write”. Whatever the **** they feel like writing. And they’ve found a highly engaged audience. Not because of their potty mouths but because of the quality of their content. Not everyone has a “professional” blogger agenda. Some people just want to express themselves, you know?
So, if you’re more a Bob Costas person compared to a Dennis Miller person, that’s one thing. But you might want to read some great blogs written by some fresh foul-mouthed female bloggers (I’d be happy to recommend at least 10 of them) before you make your final judgement.
*Keeping the kid gloves on*
@danperezfilms Ooh, so glad that you decided to be nice about it because I would sure hate to see what happens when the film guy takes the gloves off. 😉
@TheJackB I get raw like sushi.
@danperezfilms@TheJackB I love sushi…
@danperezfilms I’m mostly talking about the circles that I populate, where people (both women and men) get really excited about using f-bombs to discuss things like, I don’t know, blog commenting. It just seems out of place and a sign that they are after shock value more than actually writing about their topic.
In other blog environments, I agree that cussing is fine – it’s legitimately the way the person talks and they are not trying to promote themselves as some button down business type. They is who they is. I guess I’m more talking about the people who want to have it both ways – they want to be really polished and professional and have everyone come to them for business advice but then they also want to be some free-spirited swearing punkster. I have a hard time amalgamating those two images in my brain. Again, that could just be me.
Thank you for conversing rather than fighting, Dan. I really do appreciate it!
Mizzle,
Let me first say that I am not offended by words, and I strongly support everyone’s right to use the words they want when and where they want to use them. To each her own. However, in this case, I will attempt to impart the wisdom I use with my children.
I tell my kids that people use profanity at times when they aren’t intelligent enough to make real word choices. Note that I am not saying these people are not intelligent. I am saying that there are times when we are more articulate than others.
For example, if I bang my thigh on the footboard of my bed in the dark yet again, I am not intelligent enough in that painful moment to say “My thigh hurts very badly because I just ran into the footboard of the bed for the one millionth time.” Instead, I let loose a string of not-so-pleasant words until the initial, bruise-making pain subsides. It is a response based on pure emotion. There is no logic applied.
I would imagine this is not the case with all of the bloggers you referenced above. But perhaps some do fall into the category of being so passionate about the topic they’re writing about that they cannot control themselves.
Of course, they could just be like me and not really care about profanity.
Perhaps you could get one of them to guest post about why they make these choices?
Ok, maybe not.
Just don’t read them. That’ll work too.
Kenna
@profkrg I see your point. I guess, wot with controlling when your blog gets published, that the passion argument doesn’t work for me 100%. If you’re writing in the heat of the moment it’s probably best to wait a few before hitting publish anyway. Unless it’s something REALLY important. I think a lot of people have built their reputations on being potty mouths. I’ve seen people who include that information in their various bios. “I’m shocking and vile and potty-mouthed.” OK…what else have you got?
If you are writing as you and that is the way you talk, it really doesn’t bother me at all. But my sh**ometer goes off pretty hot and heavy when I sense someone is just putting on cuss words to get attention. I think it’s a tired approach.
I think it’s safe to assume that most sites run by women who curse like sailors are probably not CEOs representing a company. A lot of these women are bloggers letting off steam and using the same voice they might use to talk to a good friend. I don’t typically cuss on my own blog because I know it offends people and I don’t want them tripping all over the F word instead of concentrating on the point I had to make,
I guess it just comes down to personal preference and choosing to read what makes you comfortable. I mean who really cares if Jane Smith wants to cuss on her website? We might not choose to read it, but if that’s what floats her boat than so be it.
I think it’s safe to assume that most sites run by women who curse like sailors are probably not CEOs representing a company. A lot of these women are bloggers letting off steam and using the same voice they might use to talk to a good friend. I don’t typically cuss on my own blog because I know it offends people and I don’t want them tripping all over the F word instead of concentrating on the point I had to make,
I guess it just comes down to personal preference and choosing to read what makes you comfortable. I mean who really cares if Jane Smith wants to cuss on her website? We might not choose to read it, but if that’s what floats her boat than so be it.
@KatLosinit Yeah. I don’t really believe there is a “right” or a “wrong” to any approach if it works for you. But the equating of “Cussing” = “Cool” is something I don’t really get. Especially amongst adults.
@margieclayman@KatLosinit True, though I think if asked they would never own up to cussing because they think it’s cool. You raise a good point though…we really do call bloggers who cuss “edgy”. Seems so silly when you lay it out like that!
I have no problem with swearing in general. I do it in real life and am not offended. But, I think with writing in general, I’d really rather not see it. It’s funny because as a blogger I rarely ever swear in print but my second to last post I did use b.s. I even titled the post with it but used the silly asterisks to down play the swearing. Overall, I think it detracts from what I’m trying to say unless it feels as though it’s really the spot on word for the situation. This is why I love comedians who don’t swear and are incredibly funny. They don’t need to try so hard because their material is already great.
@whenpigsflyblog That’s the way I feel too. Maybe that’s hitting the nail on the head, actually. “Why are you trying SO HARD??” Just write what you believe in, man. Regardless of what your ultimate goal is, you don’t want to be sniffed out as a fake. Right?
I’m sure someone’s been wondering when one of the potty-mouthed gals from the web would show up in this conversation. BAM! Here she is. I’m redheadwriting — the voice behind redheadwriting.com, a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine, and the author of two forthcoming books. I also speak several times a year at various conferences. And – here’s the catch: I swear. A lot.
Let’s begin with your statement under the subhead “So why does blogging f-bombs p…tick me off?” – 4th paragraph (“The other problem…”)
1) Unsavory is in the eye of the beholder.
2) I love being a woman, and I’m certainly not trying to be “macho” by using words some might consider offensive.
3) I feel that the final sentence of this quote is a gross generalization.
I shine because my audience ALLOWS me to do so. I’m grateful for every reader and fan who supports my brand – and it’s just that. MY brand. It certainly isn’t yours. Stating that you’d like to see more bloggers of the Liz Strauss ilk, that’s your preference. That’s the style that YOU gravitate towards. But there are plenty of folks out there who prefer to receive messages with a different tone and texture. And for you to gauge my level of professionalism on account of my word selection? Excellent. You’re not the type of client I’m looking for.
I’m grateful to have earned relationships with clients and colleagues who embrace my no-BS style and entrust me to deliver what their brands and companies need to succeed. THAT has nothing to do with my vernacular.
I will watch business walk out the door every day for the rest of my life on account of my predisposition to use words you might not if it allows me these things:
1) The ability to wake up each day and do what I love
2) Do it for people who don’t want me to be anyone except who I am
3) Help others achieve their goals – and in the most spectacular fashion.
The most important thing that any brand and/or blogger can do is have an opinion, such as you’ve done here in your rather harsh judgement of those who choose words you might not. The people who come to my community are the ones whom I want there – and the rest? I didn’t build my community for them in the first place 😉 There are so many places where people can get information that I say good luck and godspeed to those who aren’t picking up what I’m putting down.
***and I do believe that this comment was conspicuously devoid of vulgarities. Fucking amazing. Whoops.
@RedheadWriting Well, I try to avoid generalization – but I can’t help but write from my own personal perspective. We all have one, and this is one of the few places I get to get mine out without interruption 🙂
Like I said many times below (and I think in the post though maybe it didn’t come across clearly enough, which I regret), if cussing is how you talk and you are being genuinely you on your site, that’s cool. If you are “putting on” swear words because you are trying to be like Erika Napoletano, it smells funny to me, and I *do* think a lot of people use swear words for effect. Why do I think that? Because there are too many posts out there with similar subject lines, similar approaches, etc. It just makes me suspicious.
Out of curiosity though, why does a “no BS” approach have to equate to a “rife with cuss words” approach (other than the fact that you could then say no…BS)? Some of the hardest truths I have seen and received were completely devoid of any negative words at all. It was just, “Here, look in this mirror.” You can do the same things with businesses. Try telling a company that has been around for 100 years that most people have no idea who they are or what they do. You can do that without cuss words and the truth will still kick them right in the gut. Right?
In the end, it doesn’t really matter what I think – I wanted to get the conversation going, and I’m glad you joined in. In fact, I appreciate it!
Thanks, Erika.
@margieclayman Anything can be done without cuss words. Just as life can be lived without religion. Yet there are people who choose to make one, the other, and (gasp) both a part of their lives.
Regarding the “no BS approach” – that has nothing to do with “rife with cuss words.” I lack bullshit. I say bullshit. The two can coexist. And if you ask my clients, the #1 way they’ll describe me is “no BS.” I do business with people whom I can develop trust-based relationships. Lacking bullshit plays a significant role in that – as well as the professionalism your post indicates that someone like me might lack.
And I feel it’s pretty remiss for you to throw out the “it doesn’t matter what I think – I just wanted to get the conversation going” line. Because if you’re not going to be a part of the conversation with your thoughts and feelings throughout, why start it up in the first place? That’s the same type of sensationalism you’re speaking against regarding all us “potty mouths” out there.
Holla~
@RedheadWriting Fair enough. I’m not against conversing, I’m just not one of those folks who has to be “Right.” I think there is plenty of room for your perspective, my perspective, and a million others.
That being said, yes, from my perspective, your approach lacks what *I* consider to be professionalism. Now, let’s put that into context. I work at a family-owned full service B2B marketing firm. Most of our clients do not cuss around us or tell off-color jokes, so I return the favor online, which I view as an extension of my office. I am also, in many cases, younger than a lot of the clients we work with, so I feel like going in and saying something like “what’s your effing problem” would lack respect. Maybe I’m old-fashioned in that regard.
Obviously you are extremely successful, well-respected, and very accomplished, so I’m not going to sit here and say that what you are doing doesn’t work. Clearly it does.
My ultimate argument is that often times women who blog AND swear profusely are categorized as brave or edgy. It is a characteristic that is lusted over, it sometimes seems. And that is what I don’t get. Does everyone just wish they felt free enough to swear when they want online and so they shine the spotlight on those who do?
I’m sure there are people whom you feel are trying to emulate your example and it just falls flat for them. Because they are not being them, they are trying to be one facet of you. Right?
I’ve never read you before but “overheard” a little conversation about you/this blog post over on Twitter. There’s nothing more refreshing to me than a person, male or female, swearing or not, who’s being real, genuine, and HONEST. (Hell yeah:) (BTW, in my “humble” opinion: Liz Strauss spends too much time trying to sell her book(s? I forget now.) on Twitter and not enough time engaging or being real for my preference.) I believe firmly that when we’re being real, whatever we’re selling, sells [often fabulously] on its own.)
Thanks for letting me and many other great women share our voices and colorful language here today!
@DogMomApril Thanks for stopping by, and you’re 100% right. It’s not just a matter of cussing, it’s a matter of putting on anything that isn’t actually you. I think people get a sort of itchy feeling when they read a post that is being put on. You can just tell something is off, even if you can’t tell exactly what or why or how. Whether it’s too self-promotional, link bait, comment bait, cussing, or whatever else, writing just for effect bugs me when I notice it. Again, personal preference to the hilt.
Hey Margie,
I don’t dare read all of the comments before adding my own, because I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority and will stand out like a sore thumb.
I’m 50 and was brought up in the 60’s and 70’s. Times sure have changed. I was raised in an environment that encouraged literacy, style, grace and etiquette, none of which included swearing. Sure, people did, but it was only those who didn’t know a better word to use.That’s why I wonder why all the swearing these days? What is it that people want to know about us?
I’m turned off by swearing. It actually hits my chest and heart when I hear it. It’s quite a distraction. I have to get past it with most people and their writing. But it’s HARD!
@BetsyKCross Thanks for your comment, Betsy. I don’t usually find cuss words distracting unless they really feel over the top or out of place. If there’s a sense that that’s just how that person talks, well, I don’t believe in censorship. But I am just of the belief that at least in a business setting, there’s a time and a place for swearing. Just like there’s a time and a place for talking religion, politics, or your latest colonoscopy results. But it’s all a matter of preference in the end. We all carry our own baggage.
I concur. It’s eminently possible to elegantly eviscerate one’s target via ladylike and salubrious writing, as when I’m rebutting a learned legal colleague to the court, without sullying the effort with baser words, however effortlessly such words may slip from the tongue in a more primal setting, such as when I’m trash talking on a basketball court. 😉
@Anne Marie Bless you 🙂
Margie
I truly believe that if you curse, you do and then own it. Is it always appropriate? No. Should we censor ourselves and be someone we are not? No. I feel it lessens our voice completely. I curse. Yup. Duh. Ok this we know and does it make me more attractive – no. Does it make me less attractive, maybe to some. It is about putting it into perspective and really knowing who you are talking to. A part of me believes that if we portray ourselves as someone who does not and we really drop the f bombs regularly in conversation then we are not being who we are. Then the other side says well geez are we going to define ourselves on a f bomb? IDK. I never curse in front of the kiddo and curb the tendency in front of people who do not curse. I am not defined by my cursing but at the same time I am not going to hide it.
I guess for me it is about owning it and never being sorry for owning it. In a nutshell if you like me and all of me then you like that part. If not, then no trying to change me as eventually it will come out.
@SuzanneVara I can see that side of the argument. If you use a lot of curse words in your offline or non-professional life it can be hard to turn the hose off in your online life or in your professional life. I sympathize.
*however* it’s the infatuation with cussing that makes me think a lot of people are immature about it. If you define yourself by the fact that “ooooh I used bad words in my blog post” that’s kind of juvenile. Did your use of the f-bomb help make your point? Did it amplify the power of your post REALLY?
As I said to Erika, I’m coming at this from a background of a family business in the B2B world, so maybe my experience is atypical, and I’m willing to just accept that cookie and go home. But I still think it’s a good conversation to have and a good thing to think about.