I have noticed that a lot of people are giving New Years Resolutions a really bad name. They’re stupid, no one ever lives up to them, yada yada yada.
Well, I have just had it! So I decided to make a list of resolutions for 2012 that I want you to monitor me on. That’s right – accountability, folks. If you see me refraining from reaching out for these dreams of mine, I want you to say something! Anything! I would do the same for you if our roles were reversed. I promise.
I’ve put a lot of thought into these and have determined they are all equal parts important, ambitious, and significant. Thus, without too much more adieu, here is my list of resolutions for 2012.
1. I resolve to eat less ice cream in 2012.
This will be hard because whenever I go down the ice cream aisle at the store, the little gallons of ice cream make puppy dog eyes at me and cry and beg me to take them home. Especially the mint chocolate chip and rocky road varieties. But I will try to leave them all alone at the store, cold and scared.
2. I resolve to learn how to make sushi in 2012.
I love sushi but it’s too darned expensive around here, and I am *NOT* comfortable eating fish products from Lake Erie. Can you blame me? Now, it’s true that fresh fish smell is not a glade plug-in as of yet, and it’s true that the thought of cutting up fish that still have their eyeballs makes me throw up a little, and it’s also true that the idea of rolling stuff in a bamboo mat scares the jeepers out of me, but it’s good to challenge oneself.
3. I resolve to get back to my fighting weight, which was 80 pounds.
Take that, Snookie. And no, my career as a fighter did not go well at that weight. Thanks for asking.
4. I resolve to stop saying hi to books that have been written by people I know at Barnes & Noble.
Some people find this off-putting, apparently.
5. I resolve to no longer get angry at that person who is driving 20 miles an hour on the road that clearly says “Speed limit: 45.”
After all, life is too short to actually follow speed limits. Right?
6. I resolve to no longer honk my horn at people who turn left out of a right-hand turning lane.
It does no good.
7. I resolve to no longer read articles that my peeps post on Facebook.
They seem to find articles that prove everything is gross and potentially damaging to one’s brain. It’s tempting to keep clicking those articles, and I am endlessly curious, but it just never ends well.
8. I resolve to replace my VHS versions of Lord of the Rings with DVDs.
Yep, I’m an early adopter.
9. I resolve to post more pictures of my food.
I really feel I’ve been slacking in this arena and it makes me feel, well, like a slacker. Besides, I should not be the only one drooling all over a keyboard on a regular basis. Not that I do that.
10. I resolve to post more about my exercising, too.
I have been on the receiving end of feeling really slothful as I sit on my butt and read about how people just ran 77 miles. It’s time to turn the tables. Karma.
11. I resolve that I will get a pet who isn’t ill or hateful.
I have had really REALLY bad luck with pets the last few years. I got a parakeet who would make a poopy every time I went to feed him, then I got a fish who was just near death the whole time. I’d like to get a pet who is both loving and healthy. That would be super.
12. I resolve to meet more people “In real life”
It’s so much harder to punch people virtually. I meant, hug…hug…
So there you go. Assuming I can get all of this done before the end of the world, that would be awesome. Like I said, I fully expect you all to keep me on the straight and narrow path on this stuff. If you see me straying from these goals, say, “Woah there Margie. You’re losing the dream.” Or you know, something like that. I don’t want to tell you what to say.
Oh, and I suppose I should not let 2011 pass without saying that I am very thankful for YOU. That’s right. YOU. Even if you’re one of the guilty parties loosely mentioned above. But especially if you’re not.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sackerman519/5400970955/ via Creative Commons