Maybe some of you can answer these questions for me, or maybe some of these questions will inspire you to write a blog. Or a book. Or a ten-part docudrama. Here’s to hoping.
1. Why do so many people have difficulties with your and you’re? You’re has the ‘re on it because it is a mashing of “you” and “are.” See? You’re just replacing the a with an apostrophe. Hence, when you say, I think your right, you are actually not finishing YOUR sentence. Are you?
2. Why doesn’t Twitter make it easy for me to tell if people I’m following are following me? How can I be moody and dramatic and accusatory?
3. Why do people retweet retweets of themselves? To quote Pee Wee Herman, “I heard you the first time.”
4. Why do people who describe the movie Alive as “people eating other peoples butts ‘n crap” (paraphrased) follow me? What do we have in common?
5. Why are there about 250 “life coaches” following me on Twitter? Are you trying to tell me something, or am I helping you?
6. Why do people who have not tweeted once have 750 followers?
7. Why are you following some of the people you follow? Yes, you. I go to check out someone named “WoodchuckFreak907” and 20 of my friends are followers. C’mon, now!
8. Why do people continue to send automatic direct messages when everyone in the world notes how annoying they are?
9. Why do some people auto DM me 2-3 times? Did you think I would just cave and become your slave at time number 3? (It takes 5 times)
10. Why do people think there is their way and the stupid way?
11. Speaking of which…what is so hard about there, their, they’re? There is “here” with a t on it, so that’s the place one. They’re is that whole word mashing thing again (some call it a contraction). Their means “possession.”
12. Why do people think quoting other people in lieu of personal interaction with living people is a good idea?
13. Why do people rewteet tweets of Thomas Edison quotes? He doesn’t see that or care, you know…
14. Why do people care about whether Kanye West tweets back to them? Do you think he’s going to suddenly ask you to go on tour?
15. Why do people RT their “Follow Friday” mentions? Every. Single. Time?
16. Why do people try to argue with or patronize Lisa Barone? You know she will destroy you with her brainz.
17. Why do people unfollow you because you didn’t follow them, then return and follow you again? Give up, yo.
18. Why is there an ap for lengthening tweets now? That’s cheating. 140 or bust, man.
19. Why do people try to prove that folks like Chris Brogan are dumb and then misspell every word in their tweet? Take it up a notch, at least!
20. Why am I the only one asking these questions? Or am I…..?
Image by Richard Dudley. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/bluegum