When Klout first came on the scene, it was all anyone in the online world talked about. What is your Klout score? How many points did your Klout score rise when you tweeted in your sleep versus when you drunk-tweeted? What do these titles like “specialist” mean? And how can I attain that?
I said at the time that I didn’t really think Klout was key to the real social media success formula, but I am a late adapter, so that wasn’t really a revolutionary stance for me to take. I explored Klout. I gave it a fair shot. I did my research. You know, I still didn’t really get the big deal.
Now Klout is in the news because everyone hates it and they are opting out (in some cases for good reasons like Klout encouraging getting minors to sign up, apparently). But again, it’s all people are talking about in my little circle of the online world, it seems. No, we’re not talking about the global economy or what Italy is doing about its meltdown or the presidential race here in the US. We’re talking about Klout. Ad Nauseam. People are writing posts and counter-posts about Klout and getting really rather worked up about it.
I’m terribly sorry because I know this will come across as being judgmental, but, well, how can I say this? There are things more important than Klout. If you find yourself getting beads of sweat on your forehead, talk to someone who isn’t in the world of social media much and ask them if they know what Klout is. My guess is that they would say, “Yes, it means a person’s status, generally, or sort of how dignified a person is or how much weight they carry.” A strange methodology for measuring social media success would probably not be the answer you hear.
I know. I’m dropping this on you cold turkey style.
Well, let me put this another way. Here are 50 things that I care about more than Klout. Maybe some of these will catch your fancy and draw you away from the Klout-pool of doom.
1. Will the little seedling that my co-worker got as a Christmas present actually start to grow?
2. What am I going to get at the grocery store tomorrow?
3. Finding out if cats have belly buttons
4. Finding out how the netti pot was created. Did someone almost drown themselves and then find they could breathe better?
5. Cheese
6. Calimari. Why can only some restaurants cook it just right? Why isn’t this something you need to pass the test on in culinary school?
7. Why the bottom row of lights on my Christmas tree won’t light up
8. French cookies – my favorite Christmas treat
9. When it will snow
10. When I’ll see the sun again
11. When the first Browns home game not to be televised will occur
12. Whether I will ever get used to the Lion operating system
13. Whether I will go cross-eyed reading books on Kindle for iPhone
14. The things I want to read on Kindle for iPhone
15. Chocolate
16. Bunnies
17. Chocolate Bunnies
18. How truly gross those Charmin commercials with the bears are. I mean, ew.
19. Whether or not I like bananas – I still can’t decide
20. Underwear
21. My moral conundrum about whether the new muppets are the real muppets
22. Finding out a way to watch season 4 of Breaking Bad
23. What I will wear to work tomorrow
24. Football players apparently go potty in their pants during the game. Isn’t that gross?
25. What are chickpeas? Like, what do they look like not in a can?
26. Why my lemon squares turn blue
27. Why my eggplant parmesan also turns blue
28. Sushi. I care deeply about sushi.
29. What will I plant in my garden next year?
30. Sleeping
31. Pondering if I would still believe in Santa if my mom hadn’t sat me down all those years ago
32. Ladybugs
33. Wondering what a LazyGirl would be
34. Anything having anything to do with Monty Python
35. Anything having anything to do with pythons
36. Molecules
37. Neurons
38. Protons
39. Why Brad Pitt continues to get less attractive the longer he’s married to Angelina Jolie
40. My neighbors’ hideous and gratuitous Christmas light display
41. What taste buds look like
42. Why I’m agreeing with Dan Perez more often
And then some little things like…
43. The world economy
44. The presidential race
45. The plight of the refugee
46. Sexism
47. Why so many teenagers are committing suicide
48. Why we haven’t discovered the path to equality yet
49. Why I have to have an airbag in my car when the airbag would likely kill me if it went off
50. You
Now, naturally, if you care a great deal about Klout, that is your prerogative. I’m not saying that I’m right and you’re wrong. I’m just saying, I guess, that I think there are some other things we could talk and blog about.
Oh, and dung beetles! Aren’t those things neat?!?
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/56223083@N06/5514161603 via Creative Commons
I think my puppy has a belly button. I am more worried about my English.
You see one day I told my mother in law my belly hurts. And she said, you don’t have a belly, Roma has a belly, you have a tummy. I asked her then, if I don’t have a belly, why do I have a belly button….
I still don’t get it….
PS Roma is my dog from the beginning of the comment that I think has a belly button.
@Brankica Well, I guess I don’t know English very well either. To me, belly and tummy are the same thing. You can quote me on that! 🙂
I clearly enjoy when you make these lists.
I have to say many of them concern me.
I love French Cookies especially the “LU” brand. They use to sell them on the Island when I was a Kid. But not any more!
@RaulColon Ah, I think we are talking about two different kinds of cookies. Are your French cookies made with graham crackers? Mine are homemade 🙂
#21 has to be the most critical one on the list. I am still mulling over that one myself. the new movie rocks though…
@JMPruitt75 I haven’t watched it and so far am swearing I won’t. At least not at the theater. It is definitely a pressing issue!
margieclayman I too, care very much about sushi and Monty Python…and most of season 4 of Breaking Bad is still unwatched on my DVR…have to watch that in daylight! Enjoyed reading!
@DixieLil oh man, how could you pass it up?!? Send it to meeeeee!!! 🙂
3. Yes
9. Never, I live in Santa Monica
12. No
Yeah well the problem is that Klout isn’t targeted at you, me, or frankly anybody else tech savvy. It’s a simplistic number that even a child can understand, that’s the strength of it and they’ve marketed it extremely well. Companies would rather have an inaccurate yet simple metric, than a complex algorithm that’s more accurate IMO. You’ll care about Klout soon enough (better perks).
@optimizethis I don’t really do social media for perks though, at least, not perks like that. It’s perky enough for me to get to talk to people.
Yep, I’m that old-fashioned.
Good point about it being so simple anyone can understand it. I’ll have to think about that more. But my issue is not really with Klout itself, but rather the obsession people have with talking about it. All. The. Time. 🙂
I adore you, Margie! Great post.
@PointA_PointB Thanks lady! 🙂
When I get away from my computers and help my kids with their homework, talk about school, play with them, talk with my wife, cook supper and a million other things I feel better. Seeing people argue about Klout is like talking about dryer lint or loose change – how much do you have?
@TomKostiuk Great analogy! 🙂
Love!!
@courtneybosch Thanks 🙂
I’m not good with numbers. I never understood Klout. But I do know my kid ate 3 waffles for dinner and a smile, wave and a caring conversation will bring more to my life and business than any “score.”
YOU. ARE. A. RIOT.
@girlygrizzly Well thanks. I do try. Sometimes 🙂
I gave you +K in Blogging because of this post. 🙂
Hilarious! I really enjoyed this! I don’t even think I know what my Klout score is anymore.
OK, how many people wanted to turn over a cat after reading this post ;). Margie, thanks for providing great humor to my day today!