You’ve probably heard in the news lately that a few people around the US are calling for a boycott of Girl Scout cookies. These folks are upset because they feel that money from sold Girl Scout cookies is being used to fund horrible things like allowing transgender children to participate in Scout groups. They do not feel their money should be spent on such a disturbing facet of the Girl Scout experience.
Normally I do not touch issues like this on this blog but I can’t sit silently by and watch this one unfold, and there is a very simple reason for that. Lives are at stake. Lives have already been lost, in fact. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the lives of our young people who are transgender, gay, or in any other way “abnormal” by certain peoples’ societal standards.
So why is this Girl Scout cookie boycott good? Because it gives us some momentum to talk about this silent epidemic that is sweeping away far, far too many young people. It gives us a chance to dissect how these societal biases work. It gives us a chance to put the recent suicide of teenager Eric James Borges into a context that will create, hopefully, finally, a sense of urgency.
Who is was Eric James Borges
You might remember the “It gets better” movement that spread like wildfire across the internet. It was a brief window of time when the nation and the online world was focusing, with both eyes, on the increasing number of youths who are taking their own lives. Eric James Bourges created a video as part of this movement (you can watch it here). In it, he explains how his mother tried to perform an exorcism on him to eradicate him of his gay tendencies. He talks about being spit on, being beaten up, and being threatened. Despite all that had happened to him, he put out this message trying to help other people. But now we have lost him.
The devastating truth
Eric is not the first person we have lost because of this lack of humanity within our society. Check out these horrifying statistics about suicides amongst the LGBT community from a site called Laura’s Playground. Maybe you remember the story of Tyler Clementi, whose roommate videotaped Tyler in a gay encounter and then posted the video online. Or maybe you remember countless other stories that have surfaced over the last few years.
So now, against this backdrop, we have people who are asking us to boycott Girl Scout cookies because a few transgender kids, despite all of their pressure to not be true to themselves, despite all of society’s penchant for treating them like low-life scumbags, despite all of that, they want to try to participate in an organization that promotes being the best you can be and including everyone.
Don’t these kids have enough to deal with? Can’t we let them try to find friendship? Can’t we let them experience the things I experienced as a Girl Scout, like camping, hiking, learning how to read a compass, and learning how charity can come in millions of different shapes and forms? Can’t we let them have a little breather away from the bullying and misunderstanding they have to face? It seems some would answer those questions in the negative. No. We have to once again shine the spotlight on those who do not live the way we think they should live. The fact that they are children is irrelevant. Let’s boycott Girl Scout cookies because a few kids tried to have something fun happen in lives that are likely complex in more ways than we can grasp.
How much blood do we want on our hands?
The kind of ignorance, cruelty, malice, and ostracizing that we are seeing in this scenario is running rampant in our country behind a million closed doors, within a million classrooms, and with millions of witnesses who stand by and say nothing. How many jewels are we losing, jewels like Eric Borges who even in the pit of despair tried to reach out and help others avoid suicide? What kinds of strong people are we losing? What kinds of amazing people are we losing? And when do we finally say, “Huh…I think this might be a problem”?
To me, this issue is really not about Girl Scout cookies. It’s not even about Girl Scouts as an organization. It’s about a cancer in our society that we are allowing to eat away at not us, but at our children. Whether our children are victims or aggressors, the damage is being done.
Let’s use this opportunity to talk about this. Let’s use this opportunity to show our support to a group of young people who sadly often receives the exact opposite. Let’s use this opportunity to make a really positive change in how our society operates.
I don’t want to lose another precious Eric Borges.
Do you?
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hinnosaar/4373634220/ via Creative Commons
agree wholeheartedly. no need to make an issue out of buying cookies once a year to help out children. Let’s don’t take it out on the kids. I’ll be enjoying my Thin Mints a couple of weeks!
@jburdadams Good to know 🙂 And yes!
So you think the boycott is good, even though GSA is defending a transgender girl’s being allowed to participate in scouting? I think a better response would be to buy the cookies (or use their program to send cookies to U.S. troops overseas); this is a pretty good response, too: http://youtu.be/aCDtaGCjujc
@Kim Phillips Kim, I don’t think you read my post. I don’t think the boycott is good. I think the fact that people are bringing up the issue is good because now we can right the wrong sentiments out there.
@margieclayman “The good thing about the cookie boycott…” I read it, but people half-read stuff and misuse information. I like provocative headlines but feel they should reflect (in some way) what’s in the post. But that’s just me.
@Kim Phillips@margieclayman I understand where you are coming from, Kim. Believe me, I do. I abhor provocative headlines that are bait-and-switch (deceive me in some way). But I think what was brilliant about Margie’s headline is that it seemed the opposite of the way she feels, and yet she stayed true to it by explaining just why the boycott is good. The boycott is good precisely because it starts a conversation about the needs and rights of gay children (and draws our attention to the issue of people who would deny them the same experiences other children have). Just one person’s opinion here. : )
Kim, I apologize if you feel my headline misled you. I feel, as Judy indicates, that I stayed true to the headline. I don’t think the boycott is good but there is 1 good thing about it, and that is that we can use the momentum of the controversy to help shine the spotlight on these issues that so often get swept under the rug. That is what I’m hoping happens as this wears on. Again, I apologize if you feel I was dishonest with my title. @JudyDunn @Kim Phillips
Right on, Margie.
@WillReichard Thanks 🙂
Margie,
Great post… I try to stay away from topics like these but sometimes it is very hard. I think being a blogger you have a responsibility to create awareness just as you have just accomplished.
I will be buying more Girl Scout Cookies and my sister is very involved in the Girl Scouting movement for decades.
I myself was a boy scout and did see some discrimination for many. Now that I am older I wish I could have done something different.
@RaulColon Boy Scouts has also had a lot of problems with prejudice and discrimination. It’s sad because these organizations can create such wonderful opportunities for kids if run the best way possible.
I’m glad you liked the post, sir. Thank you!
As a teacher who had to break up “Smear the Queer” games on the elementary school playground way back in the 1970s, it is sad to see, that although progress is being made, the hateful feelings (where did those little kids on the playground learn that from?) continue to cause irreparable emotional harm to our most vulnerable children. Absolutely breaks my heart. I hadn’t heard of the boycott and I am on a diet, but I think I’m suddenly feeling a craving for Shortbread cookies. : )
As the mother of a gay child, I can just say that these kids have a tough enough time feeling like they fit in without adults boycotting the very organizations that accept them and want to help them have the same experiences other kids do.
Thank you, Margie, for addressing this very important topic.
@JudyDunn Hi Judy,
Thank you for adding that. I have known many people who have gone through a lot of confusion about their sexual preferences and just that internal battle alone can be so alienating. The fact that in that fragile state people come along and bully them is so distressing. And the fact that people take it a step further and sort of say that that kind of discrimination is okay – well, I just can’t stand for it. So, here we are 🙂
I am proud that you took the effort to post this. It takes strength to stand up to the entire world and say, “I’ve had enough of your nonsense. Stop acting like a bunch of caffeinated 6-year-olds and grow up!” Society needs a serious wake-up call. These are their children for pete’s sake.
I agree it is time for a discussion. How to instigate one, though? Just share our opinions openly and address concerns and narrow-mindedness as we go?
If that is the case: I think everyone should be allowed to be whoever it makes them happy to be. Children pretend to be ponies or puppies or birds…some little girls act like princesses and some little boys act like cowboys and indians (actually, I think most children act like indians on sugar but, I digress…). Not all children are interested in the same things. I know someone who grew up in a family very traditionally, but even as a younger boy, he preferred playing with barbie dolls than army men. Certainly, this does NOT mean that any boys who play with barbies are the same as this person. But, it DOES mean that children should be allowed to play with what they like- THEY ARE CHILDREN!- and that they should be who they want to be. This person happens to be an adult now, with a very prestigious teaching job, at the same school district his boyfriend is the Administrator. (No, the school does not prevent relationships at work, as long as they are professional in public and at the workplace).
My point with this story is that his family was upset that he always played with barbies. They knew early on he was more feminine and preferred to be a less-than-stereotypical “boy”. As he grew, they realized there was nothing they could do about it. They do not like that he is gay, but they do not disown him (like so many parents do) because of his lifestyle. It is not a choice for him; and I say that because I do feel like it is a choice for some people.
Thank you so much for posting this much needed idea and being the brave soul to stand up and say, “Enough is enough.” Keep posting!
@Britany_Wallace Well said Brittany, and thank you for sharing.
The trick with this issue is not starting the conversation – the conversation has been started over and over again. The trick is to keep the conversation going after the big news story wears out. After the sour taste of tragedy has washed out of our mouths a bit. After that sense of immediacy sort of trickles away.
Right now we are in a reactionary mode in terms of how the LGBT community, especially children, are treated in our society. We go along, someone gets hurt, we react. There’s nothing *wrong* with that per se, but what we really need to do is shift to a prevention mode. The “It gets better” movement I think was doing a really good job of that, but once Ellen and other celebrities moved on to other things it sort of lost its vigor. This is something that everyone needs to take up and move with. Otherwise it’ll just keep fizzling out.
Conversation is a good start, but you and I conversing, where we agree, doesn’t really fix anything other than to make ourselves feel better. We need to find a way to converse with the people who want to boycott the cookies. That’s the trick.
Margie,
It appears many are quick to take up a cause when it affects their beliefs or comfort zone. I too don’t get into issues online but like you must say something to this issue.
One of my clients is a not-for-profit which is dedicated to preventing childhood sexual abuse and helping adult survivors thrive. It’s not an easy topic to discuss, many want it to just go away while 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are abused in their lifetime.
These are topics that many are quick to push into the dark corners and in the case of the Girl Scout cookie boycott stand on their self-proclaimed soap box and speak on behalf of all humans. That incenses me. We don’t need another Eric Borges or the thousands each year who are victims of the 3rd largest cause of death among teenagers – suicide.
@KnealeMann Well said, Kneale.
To me, this is not a “political” issue or a “religious” issue at the point where kids are killing themselves as the result of the actions others are taking. To me, that’s voluntary manslaughter. I believe that strongly, even though it could never be proven in a court, I’m sure. When people are made to feel so miserable that they feel death is the only thing that will make it better, and when they are feeling that way at age 13, age 16, age 19…that is a serious tragedy that can’t be swept away by responsible citizens. So, yeah. I thought it was worth writing about here. It infuriates me as well.
Thanks for your comment!
Need more acceptance and understanding of differences. Thank You Margie, I’m proud of my fellow Girl Scout!
@dabarlow Cheers to that 🙂
Margie.
I think that this is so very important.
THESE. ARE. OUR. CHILDREN.
The children, all the children of the world, belong to us, US, as adults.
“The trick is not starting the conversation..” I agree. Don’t sweep it under the rug … keep the conversation, THE PROBLEM front and center.
Any of these topics, bother me so badly… what can I do? How can I help? What does God want me to do? What Can I do??? How can I help? God put a soul in each one of those children… they are so fresh and new….
I refuse to believe (and I’ve searched my heart) that this is what He wants from us. And yet, (yes, and yet) I feel strongly that He would want me to STAND AGAINST the evil and bad that is being done to and in the name of these children. So, how? How may I stand (me, Amber-Lee Dibble, and all the sweet little aka’s I use) in my own UTMOST for HIS highest FOR HIS children?
The only thing I have, is to go buy tons more cookies. That seems so weak. I want to help. Help those we should, we, as the so-called “grown-ups,” the protectors of the weak. Tell me. Please tell me.
@girlygrizzly I wish I had the answer. If I did, I wouldn’t be blogging – I’d be doing something else entirely. And buying cookies doesn’t seem like a real protest move, but maybe it stands for something. Maybe just having the conversation will help. I sure hope so.
Margie, this is especially close to so many people’s hearts and I think the timing for awareness, coinciding with a three day weekend for me & many others should mean taking time to think about this. Civil rights and tolerance issues weren’t tied up in a bow with Martin Luther King. His birthday should be a time that we all give thought to our world and our part in it. I don’t need all the sugar of the cookies but I am officially buying extras! I can take some to the senior center nearby. And my niece, who is in a diverse troop will put the money to helping city kids get out & get active. Some had never even heard of camping til my sis started a troop at the inner-city school where she teaches.
@JPlovesCOTTON that sounds like a wonderful way to support multiple groups at one time, my dear. Kudos to you!!
Dear Margie,
Hate comes in many forms. It seldom can be disquised. At a young age kids need to be accepted, let them figure out who and what they want to be not ostrosized for their possibly temporary maybe permanent life choices. Thanks for shedding light on this tough subject.
Gaga
@Gaga Well said Gaga. Thanks for commenting!
Three cheers, Margie! No, let’s make that ten!! I am proud to call you my friend, never more than after reading a wonderful, brave post like this. There is no room in a civilized society for hatred: it’s evil, and all the more so when it affects children as you describe.
Boycott Girl Scout cookies? The Coine girls and I are gonna order ten extra boxes just to spite the hate mongers (Samoas every one!)
Go Margie. Let ’em have it again for me!
@tedcoine Aw, thanks Ted 🙂 I’m honored. But why not any thin mints? 🙂
You are very courageous; Courage & Honesty are the 2 things I treasure most in my friends. You go girl!
@AmyMccTobin Thanks, Amy. I really don’t see that this post is courageous. I just see it as speaking truth. If that’s courageous we have serious problems in our society 🙂
Great post. My question is to those who say the rarely write about these topics is, “why?” Is it because you don’t want to offend people who don’t believe as you do? It is because we all hide behind our convictions so we don’t offend that these stigma’s and horrors continue to happen. Speak up and show compassion to those who don’t have the power you have. ANd thank you, @margieclayman for showing us how to be a leader without fear.
@susangiurleo Thanks for that Susan. I often don’t touch on these issues because at heart, I view this as my business blog (though sometimes I go rather far astream). I don’t want the post to become a battleground for warring sides. However, in some cases, like this one, I have to reset my priorities and am happy to do so. I feel it’s the right thing to do. I’m glad so many agree 🙂
@margieclayman It’s when business is “All business” that we lose perspective that our work is about people. People matter to business. And compassionate businesses can do more good than just meet a bottom line. They can change lives. In my opinion, to not take our communities and power inherent in being a leader and occasionally challenge them is to abdicate a big responsibility to “everyone else.” Unfortunately, everyone else does the same thing. Thanks for not making that excuse today.
Margie, I had no idea. Thanks for writing this and spurring on more discussion. It’s needed!
@Biebert Thanks, Biebs. I appreciate it!