On Eating Your Dessert First
Every now and then, you come upon the wise saying that goes something like this: “Life is short. Eat your dessert first.” I’ve encountered a lot of real-life moments where this saying has crept into my head. There have been trips I’ve really really wanted to take but I didn’t have the money at the time. If I had followed the “eat your dessert first” mentality, I would have gone and I would have worried about the cost of the trip later. Other people did make the decision that way and the trip was beyond wonderful for them, just as I had imagined it would have been for me. Did I make the right choice?
Life *is* short, it’s true. You never know what’s going to creep in on you and make things painful or difficult. However, you also don’t want to do anything that could contribute to anything bad. Sometimes living responsibly means eating all of the broccoli and getting to the dessert the next time you’re hungry.
However, I wouldn’t pitch this entire concept. I would just alter it a little bit. Instead of saying that we should eat our dessert first, what if we tried to look at everything as if it WAS dessert? What if we relished the fact that we have to go to work because that means we have jobs and a steady paycheck? What if we relished the fact that we’re paying bills because that means we can run our air conditioning during this hot weather? What if we relished that teenage kid slamming the door to her room because that means she’s THERE and safe and, well, normal?
Granted, it might be difficult to convince yourself that that big mess of broccoli is really a hot fudge brownie sundae. You’d have to do some real fussing with your brain and your taste buds to make that workable. But even there, it’s possible to relish something, like the fact that you have access to that food, or the fact that by eating that broccoli you’re doing a lot more good for your body than that sundae would do.
I’m not saying there aren’t some things that will just not be able to seem like dessert, but sometimes that just means that we are no longer in our normal humdrum state of being. When things go poorly, we long for that normal day when we were sitting at home while other people were touring the Vatican, right? We wish our biggest problem was deciding whether to watch something on Netflix streaming or to read a book. Those are good decisions and can certainly seem like dessert in comparison to other times. So, why not recognize them as dessert while you’re living them rather than lusting after the “dessert” you think you want most?
What do you think?
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/savaughan/3210789112 via Creative Commons
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The idea of looking at everything as if it is dessert really appeals to me. As we say in yoga, I am going to try and take this concept off of the mat today. And I have a coinage for you- I call dessert that comes first pressert.
@RebeccaTodd oooh, pressert. Now that I like! Do you have it for brunch or linner? 😀
Thanks Rebecca!
Now you will get to know how weird I really am; I would prefer broccoli to a hot fudge sundae. And it’s not because I’m some vegan healthy eater; I’m just more of a second helping kind of guy than a desert guy…..and I really do like broccoli.
I do try to look at everything as if it was desert. If I go on those trips; great. If not, I will be having fun whatever I’m doing, you can count on that. Be more content and happy with what you do have and not always wanting; and all that other stuff will come along enough.
Prophetic, huh?
@bdorman264 If I didn’t know better, Dorman, I’d attribute the saying “Live in the now” to you 🙂
I like broccoli too, but when I was a kid I would purposefully order small meals out so I could have dessert. Then my family would all be full and want to leave and I’d be stuck with just having eaten my small meal.
Now isn’t that just the saddest thing ever? 🙂
@margieclayman That is sad, and just ain’t right…..and if the Tribe is only going to score one run, make sure the Yankees get NONE.
@bdorman264 Yeah, that would be very helpful. Zero as opposed to say, 7….:)
I recently cut deserts from my diet as a means to shed a few. Right now I would kill for some sugar! It’s funny how I only miss it when I see it or when I hear about it herein……
@kevjkirkpatrick Oops, sorry dude!
I tried to stop drinking pop once. I was okay for the first couple of days, and then I got it into my head that I really wanted something fizzy. People said i could make my tap water seem fizzy, but somehow that was not a great sell. Go fig!
I’ve been enjoying your posts, Margie…and *this* one finally persuaded me to get my shizz together and sign up for livefyre. I couldn’t agree more – I spent a year on placement to an area of the hospital most view as very difficult last year, and ended up enjoying it. Colleagues couldn’t believe it – they kept asking me why on earth I was having fun. I had to think about it, but I realised it was simply that I tend to enjoy where I “have” to be (it’s a necessary part of my consultant training).
It’s also not a million miles from a well know concept in sports psychology and business – that of “process focus”. Simply put, it’s the detachment from results or outcomes to focus on the work which needs to be done to attain this outcomes. Most high achievers in any field are people who learn to appreciate the journey as much or more than the destination.
There remains a small number of tasks which are necessary evils – those things you don’t particularly enjoy, but which you know have to be done. I like to think of these as “toothbrushing exercises” – I might not get a lot of pleasure from the action, but I know they’re necessary to keep my teeth in my head (and me free of pain!). But cultivating my joie de vivre means my “toothbrushing exercises” are in the minority.
@Allan_Mac Hey you! I’m glad I brainwashed I meant inspired you to sign up for Livefyre. They are good peeps!
That’s an interesting statement. A lot of people are only happy when they are super busy. I tend to be like that myself. When things are quiet the brain is apt to wander, and that’s when you start thinking about how much you want that beach house or whatever.
I feel like people a couple of centuries ago probably didn’t expect particular amounts of overwhelming joy, but they worked for contentment. When every waking moment has to be dedicated to making sure there’s food to eat and clothes to wear, you don’t have the luxury of figuring out if you’re “Fulfilled.” They’d probably think we’re all nuts 🙂
Thanks for coming by!
Great perspective, Margie. We didn’t get too many of the slamming doors by teenagers, but that doesn’t mean I do not appreciate it. I would much rather have them THERE safe-n-sound…even if they are a tad unhappy. That gives us a chance to make peace later when cooler heads can prevail.
As for the taking the trip and then worrying about the costs. That is something I have never been able to do. I’m frugal by nature, and my formative years came while living with Depression-era grandparents. You only spend what you have…or can get within a reasonable amount of time. Yep, I pay my credit card bills in full each month because I can’t stand paying interest. Shortened my house loan for the same reason vs use those extra $$$ for fun-money or a bigger house!
@dbvickery I pay my credit card in full every month too 🙂 I knew there had to be another one out there!
The hope is that if you live frugally you can eventually get the dessert. Some people don’t like the gamble, and I get that. But I’m a planner. A big, big planner. For better or worse!
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