Commentary on Commenting
I’ve been thinking about the online “comment” of late. In reality, or so my theory goes, the comment is really at the core of what social media is all about. You write a blog post, someone leaves a comment, you comment back. You tweet something, someone tweets back a comment, you tweet back a comment in response. Commenting, it seems to me, is the key to everything we do in the online world, or at least it would seem to be the key to Web 2.0 at the very least. One might say that “conversing” and “commenting” are synonymous in the online world. It’s all about the trade-off of ideas and opinions. This all seems pretty basic, right?
And yet, I seem to be encountering more and more often scenarios that undermine this “basic” aspect of social media. I wanted to run these by you and see if you’re noticing the same things.
When I get tired of leaving blog comments
As a blogger, I do my very best to answer every single comment I get, even if it’s just a one-liner. I don’t always succeed, but I think if you come here you know the chances are pretty good you’ll get a comment in reply. I work hard on that because I know how busy people are these days. The fact that you not only read what I say but also take the time to comment means a lot to me. Really. I figure the best way I can show that is to reciprocate.
As a blog reader, I don’t comment nearly as much as I used to, but I’ve never really been one to leave a “nice post” comment. When I read something and I’m spurred on to leave a comment, I take time out of *my* busy schedule to leave my thoughts there. Now, a lot of the bloggers I read are really good about commenting back, and they have great communities to show for it. In fact, entire conversations develop just among the blogger and his or her commenters.
There are some bloggers, though, that never seem to respond to anything. In fact, these folks often only reply to “troll” type comments, which makes you almost wonder if that’s the kind of comment they want. I love the way these folks write, but after leaving several comments and never getting a response back, I find myself kind of wondering if I should continue to spend my time talking to, well, myself. I like to leave comments not just to see my words on someone else’s page but rather because I enjoy the dialog. If the blogger doesn’t have that same desire, I’m apt to go elsewhere. Eventually. That’s a bummer.
Commenting on Facebook
I inadvertently started a little debate on Facebook over the weekend, so I thought I would spread the chaos into the blogosphere as well. As is the case with blogging, I feel that the most fun part of leaving a comment on Facebook is engaging in a conversation (I know, these 2 buzz words are becoming evil in the online world, but I mean them in their most unbuzzy forms). If someone updates Facebook with something interesting, I tend to scan all of the comments first, then I leave my own. Or maybe I don’t leave my own if it looks like the conversation is getting ugly. But I really enjoy commenting not just on the update but also on what other people have said. I have met a lot of great people that way, in fact – they were “friends” of the person who had updated the status initially, but through regular conversing, we got to know each other as well.
I’ve found, however, that a lot of people look at Facebook commenting as a sort of “drive by opinion” opportunity. They see an update, they want to get their opinion out there, and then they move on to the next thing. There are a few (in my view) disadvantages to this approach.
1. Someone may have already said what you wanted to say, in which case you are really highlighting the fact that you didn’t read anything else apart from the update.
2. Someone may have added a perspective that would alter your opinion
3. Someone may have said something like, “This conversation is a sore subject because xyz, can we take this offline?” in which case your comment may appear insensitive.
4. If you are vehemently for or against the initial update and voice that opinion, you could end up looking like a sour-puss if it turns out the person changed their mind in the middle of the comment thread.
It’s not to say that this approach is wrong, but it just seems (to me) to miss the whole idea of what social media is about. If you just want to get your opinion out there, why not go back to traditional marketing, where there is a lot more time between your “update” and people responding? If you’re participating on a social media platform, wouldn’t you hedge towards being, I don’t know, more social?
So what do you think? Am I being too picky? Am I taking the word “social” too literally? What are you finding out there?
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HI Margie,
I agree with you on the commenting and response being part of the social in social media. I think each medium has its own nettiquette. Also, a persons perceived maturity on the web makes a difference. A newer person saying nice post at least shows they are making an effort. If YOU wrote nice post on my post I would think you had outsourced it. hah. Although I would be happy I had made your outsourcing list versus ignore list. 🙂 I don’t get the whole troll thing. Other than don’t feed them. Trolls are not productive or worth the effort to debate with IMHO. Thanks.
@kenjansen There’s nothing wrong with the “nice post” comment per se. Like I said, I always respond to those – sometimes a person wants to feel out the community, see what it’s like to comment, stuff like that. You get to be pretty good at identifying the people who are just going everywhere to get backlinks back to their own site. That’s the real difference – if you are commenting just to benefit yourself, with nothing else in mind, you’re really missing out.
I understand what you are saying but I have to tell you, when you are new to all of this it’s hard to understand the etiquette. I remember when I was trying to understand all of this I left a few comments along the lines of nice post although they were a little more than that. I see @kenjansen mentioned this too. Then I felt foolish,when I realized what I had done even though they were well-intentioned and sincere.
That was before I understood linkbait and all the other games. Now I scratch my head sometimes and simply don’t comment when I probably should.
In fact, your blog is where I come looking when I need answers to these touchy subjects and I couldn’t resist commenting just to let you know that :-).
@suegrimm @kenjansen Aw, thanks Sue.
You should never doubt whether you should make a comment (in my opinion). If you have something to say that is relevant (mostly) to the conversation, speak out! That’s what this web stuff is all about. Or so it seems to me. But commenting just to get backlinks – that’s not so cool. I’m sure a person knows the difference in their own mind/heart about their motivations. But if you think no one is going to notice that you’re leaving comments just to leave comments, you are sadly mistaken. People get hip to that jive pretty darned quick, it seems to me. We online people have a way of talking to each other 🙂
@margieclayman @kenjansen Yes, I hear you and I’m glad you said that people “know” when you are playing games.. As you can see, this one has struck a chord with me since I”ve left several comments.
I think getting over the hurdle of people knowing if you are genuine comes with time and you can only hope the seasoned people in your area don’t judge your intentions too fast. In my experience no one told me I was doing it wrong, I was harder on myself and I bet I’m not alone in that.
Which leads to the other part of my experience. It’s important to watch the person for awhile before you comment and don’t get sucked in too fast. The one’s I like happen to also share their own struggles from time to time. I don’t need them to comment on my comment, especially if I know I’ve joined a cast of hundreds, But if I want them to know I am grateful for their work, I’m am going to tell them in the comments but try not to be too lame about it:-) That’s my decision anyway. Good subject. Thanks..
I think everyone, or nearly everyone starts with Nice Post. I know I did. Sometimes you just want the author to know you appreciated it. Now I tweet it or retweet it when I find something good. And Follow the author. Margie is witty, so she is fun to follow.
Margie, I am one of those folks who only take the time to comment when something REALLY hits me. I know, it’s not always the nice thing to do, but this is one of those posts. I think there are many people who only comment to get their own opinions out there, with no regard for others. And I think there are others who actually do enjoy the (pardon the use of the term) engagement. While managing Facebook pages for a hospital group, I’m pleasantly surprised that more people than I expect DO read others’ comments and often offer help, advice or resources. It’s SO refreshing to see that! I’m with you — I think it’s an important part of the whole online experience, and if we’re not reading others’ comments, we’re missing out. Thanks for a “nice post!”
@NancyCawleyJean Great comment, Nancy. I’ve started noticing recently that some of my commenters are starting to feel comfortable about interacting with each other – I think that’s the real magic. I watch bloggers like Gini Dietrich & Bill Dorman hatch entire conversations in their comments section. They don’t always need to be there because people know they can chat with each other and have a good time or a great conversation. That’s when you’ve really created the best of social media, at least in my opinion. When people talk to each other for the sheer joy of it, that’s good stuff.
The conversation is where it’s at, as they say. And you’re right. Social means interacting with others. Reading and not commenting would be like me coming up to you on the street. Stopping. Staring at you for a few minutes. Then leaving. While you might enjoy that, most wouldn’t. 😛
@KenMueller I’m always delighted when you comment, Ken. I just have to give you a hard time because you like it so much and I aim to please 🙂
RE: Facebook ~ I am unashamedly, one who comments without (always) scanning the entire thread. Sometimes, there just isn’t enough time to scan all the comments, and I’d like to get my point in while it’s still fresh. If I end up looking ‘silly’ in someone else’s eyes…oh well.
RE: Blog ~ I will never understand why someone replies to some, but not all comments. In my book, you should either reply or not. Speaking of books, good luck on yours!!
@JohnFeskorn Thanks John!
Sometimes I don’t scan *every* single comment, but I like to see what I’m stepping into, especially if the topic is something volatile like politics. If it’s already getting kind of ugly, I want to know that ahead of time just to protect myself.
Wouldn’t it be funny if I just didn’t respond to any of the comments on this post, by the way? I thought about doing that but didn’t think anyone would get my sense of humor 🙂
Too picky……….:).
I don’t know how many ‘friends’ I have on FB; I think around 1100 or so. I ‘think’ you can now make lists on FB like you do on Twitter but if you can, I haven’t done so. If I see one of your posts on FB it’s probably by chance because 95% of the time I’m looking at it from my phone and will only go about 4-5 posts deep. Therefore, if you post something I feel like commenting on, it’s directly off your post; I have no idea what the other comments are unless you respond back to me and I’m notified you have done so. Then when I read it, I typically have to follow the comment stream to get to your reply to my comment.
Now that I know you don’t particularly care for that type of drive-by commenting, I will be more sensitive in leaving my incredibly witty comments.
FB is a little ‘too visible’ for my liking because I have a lot more family and IRL friends on FB and if I’m ‘too social’ which I’m prone to be; then they all think I’m just goofing off too much. Twitter and the blogs gives me a certain amount of freedom to be my silly self.
@Thebloggess is about the only one I spend any time with who doesn’t comment back but it’s not uncommon for her to have 4,000+ comments. However, she has commented back to me before, and she’s commented at my place, AND she follows me, so she automatically got a hall pass.
Sorry so brief, but’s that’s all I got………
@bdorman264 Oh, I would never want anyone to refrain from commenting. That’s not my intent at all. I just wonder if that approach is the most fulfilling for the commenter. I look at your blog, as I mentioned below, and I see how you nurture the conversations that happen there. That is truly enviable. I’m just at the very beginning stages of being able to see that here. I’ll truly feel like I’ve reached a major milestone when I start getting community action like yours.
Believe it.
@margieclayman Fulfilling? It’s all about me, why wouldn’t it be fulfilling…..:).
@margieclayman Hi Margie…one of the coolest features of @livefyre is that it encourages conversation …so…one of my favorite tricks (and I learned this from the best… @lori ) is to include others in your comments on Livefyre. SO…if I hop into the conversation here, I might want to ask @bdorman264 what he thinks of my thoughts. Or, maybe I’ll pull someone into the conversation that hasn’t actually made a comment yet. So, I might ask Biebert to weigh in. Once this type of back and forth conversation gets started and others in your community are invited to chime in, it starts to snowball and really grow and the conversations can be truly awesome.
@SocialMediaDDS I do like that facet of LiveFyre, although seeing those mentions in the Twitter or Facebook stream sometimes makes me buggy – for reasons I cannot at all explain. But yes, LiveFyre has definitely helped me build more conversation here, if only because you can hit “reply” and respond to more than one person at a time. I like that.
Hi! 🙂
@margieclayman You are right about the infusion of “Hi I mentioned you on such and such a post today” on Twitter streams. I’m not nearly as active on Twitter as I used to be so I don’t see the intrusion as much as you probably do. I TRY (not always successfully) to “tag” people by using a Livefyre user name if possible 😉
Love the discussion here, BTW!!
@margieclayman @SocialMediaDDS Buggy like a lizard, or a spider…..or ants?
@bdorman264 @Thebloggess Every time I get 4,000 comments I respond to each and every one with an invoice for my time. About 25% of the people pay me so it works out pretty well for me.
Commenting is overrated. I like to comment when I have something to say. Otherwise, I just read and share if I like. I have so little time anymore with the baby and everything else sitting on my shoulders. Pick your battles.
@geoffliving I think you’re talking about leaving a comment on a blog – that I agree with. I don’t comment nearly as much as I used to. However, if someone leaves a comment here, I try to make it a priority to comment back…like so 🙂
I agree with bdorman264 about Facebook being so visible – and it’s interesting to see that only about 10% of the people there on Facebook interact regularly. So many sit on the sidelines and just watch or post something about themselves or their business and never interact. It’s called social for a reason. I find Twitter and blogs to be much more social.
@lisabuben290 I encounter interactive people and wall flowers on Facebook. I’m pretty lucky – I’ve managed to befriend a lot of people who will talk to anyone about anything, so things are usually interesting over there for me 🙂
@lisabuben290 My experience has been like yours. Thanks for sharing that and I hope you don’t mind me riffing off it. I love. love my Facebook community because it’s people I know from as far back as elementary school. It’s an extremely diverse group and most do not post much, if at all, but I know many are reading. I can’t say I’m crazy about Facebook itself and I do not like Facebook business pages, personal preference I guess.
What I”ve determined, at least for today, is if your plans for social are to meet new people and interact with people with the same interests, for me that relates to your professional growth, I think blogging, Twitter and possibly Google+ depending on your niche are the way to go.
That is not to go against Margie because I think she’s taken social to a whole different level and I can see value in that too. Just don’t know if for me personally that will work or happen. That’s why I count on her posts like this to make sure I”m thinking straight and considering my options and approaches..
I find best practices for commenting on posts is as varied as is our personalities. While I may not have time or something of value to add to the commentary on a blog post, I do sign in to demonstrate to the individual that I am listening. To me, it is a courtesy of acknowledgement of their work.
With Twitter, I try to add some comment rather than just RT, again acknowledging the referred post was indeed read. On Facebook and Google+ I often just hit like or + as I may have read the post on a different platform and don’t want to be redundant.
Sometimes my comments are a reflection of where I started in my review for the day. Many of the posts on Google+ and Facebook are pictures or quotes, I may like them but do not feel I need to comment on each and every one and the stream gets long. If there is a link I follow and comment there.
I fully agree that commenting is the most appropriate action but not for ‘drive by’ or glory. If someone has already commented in a manner that is similar to my sentiments, I may hit like on their comment or mention them but I do not reiterate simply for the sake of commenting.
Lastly, with regard to commenting in disagreement. Social media is wonderful way to be engaged for either common interest banter, education, debate or discussion. I frequently enjoy the back and forth with people that write with the intent of conversing with humor rather than stating for declaration. To disagree with someone is fine but to denigrate is just anti-social.
Thanks for your thoughtful post.
@annelizhannan Whether or not you leave a comment is certainly your choice – my take is just that if someone leaves a comment on a post *you* have written, the respectable thing, assuming you can do it, is to reply to them, even if it’s just to say, “thank you for leaving such an insightful comment.” I always feel like I’m cheating a bit when that’s all I say, but at least the commenter knows that I appreciate their time, you know?
@margieclayman Totally agree. When you write the post it is common courtesy to respond to any comments in a manner of your choice. A simple thank you always works for me which on Facebook , G+ or LinkedIn is just a flip of the click.
Thanks
So many writers I know are introverts by nature (that sometimes makes good writers) and tend to shun the “conversation” side of new media. They tend to look at the new media revolution as mostly a way to deliver the same old information in new ways. But we know ( and “ClueTrain” reminded us) that “Marketplaces are Conversations.” This is an opportunity for us to expand ourselves, become more open and transparent and converse more. It may hurt a bit to change old habits, but the rewards are great and people expect it these days.
@AlanEason Yeah, it seems like trying to make social media fit into traditional modes of communication is a bit like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. You might be able to do it if you chop off the corners of the square peg to make it roundish, but who wants to take all of that time and effort?
Although I read an article recently about how you can *pretty much* quit Facebook while not quitting entirely. Maybe people have had too much social and are starting to revolt 🙂
Hi Margie! Comments! One of my favorite topics! You need them, you love them and you hate it when you don’t get them. You don’t want to pander to your readers – write for comments, but when you put something out there, even something from your heart of hearts and the comments are down, you feel bad about that. My goal is conversation, not only with me, the writer or with the guest writers, but among the people who pop into the conversation.
I always answer my comments except when it’s a guest post when I step back and let the wonderful guest authors, like @SocialMediaDDS who is hosting today, run the show. I think, like you, if someone doesn’t respond to my comments I’d eventually stop showing up.”Social” is the fun part of “social media”!
🙂
Lori
@Lori Well said, Lori. I agree – when someone guest posts here I try to let them run the show. But sometimes something interesting happens when another blogger posts here. They don’t respond to comments! Then it gets tricky because folks who come here expect (I think) to get some replies.
These tangled webs we weave, non?
@margieclayman Well that’s no good! My guests are better at the comment responses than I am! Take @SocialMediaDDS for instance 😉 I watch them and learn!
🙂
It takes me a while to “warm up” to leaving a comment, because I don’t have much time to spare for them, and I don’t like to see them go to waste. If I say something–and it’s usually not just a “nice post” comment–I’m speaking to the author of the blog or another commenter, and it’s because I want a response. A lot like in real life.
@ShakirahDawud Yep – I don’t usually plot out what I’m going to comment on and what I’m not. If I have something to say and the time to say it, I do. If I don’t, well…you know the rest 🙂
Margie, getting to your blog posts early is like being at the front of the Jan Sales at Harrods. A privilege:)
You get first picks on saying something smart. Arriving late and all you see it the comment counter going up by the second. Ah Margie. Your blog is a joy to watch. When my blog grows up it wants to go on play dates with yours:)
Only 7 comments arrived while I was writing this:)
@nickkellet aww:) Thanks Nick. I wouldn’t say my blog is grown up yet, but it may have graduated fifth grade, which is a start 🙂
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