Do we pay too much homage online, or too little?
The Middle Ages are quite an interesting era in human history. Probably what comes to your mind is knights in shining armor, damsels in distress, and Monty Python. Well, that last one is probably just me. At any rate, the knights and damsels are only a very small part of the story. Society was rather complex back in these times. Serfdom existed, nobles existed, the clergy was out there making everyone pay tithes. One thing that has always caught my interest is the old idea of paying homage. Here is a description for you:
“Homage is the most honorable service, and most humble service of reverence, that a franktenant1 may do to his lord. For when the tenant shall make homage to his lord, he shall be ungirt, and his head uncovered, and his lord shall sit, and the tenant shall kneel before him on both his knees, and hold his hands jointly together between the hands of his lord, and shall say thus: ‘I become your man from this day forward [of life and limb, and of earthly worship,] and unto you shall be true and faithful, and bear to you faith for the tenements that I claim to hold of you, saving the faith that I owe to our sovereign lord the king’; and then the lord, so sitting, shall kiss him.” from http://faculty.goucher.edu/eng330/ceremonies_of_homage_and_fealty.htm
Pretty heavy duty stuff, right? When you paid homage to someone, you were literally saying, “I’m yours, man. Whatever you want me to do, you’ve got it. Just give me a nice bit of land and we’re good to go.”
I think in some ways this concept has trickled its way into the online world, but I am pondering whether we pay too much homage or too little.
What does online homage look like?
I think it’s easy to create a relationship online that looks like the 21st century version of homage. For example, if you are fairly new to the online world and a person with a big following reaches out their hand and helps you out, you are going to feel darned indebted to them. I know this from personal experience. For whatever reason, a lot of people who were well-established in the online world helped me out when I was still an online newborn, and two years down the road, I still haven’t seen my gratitude for that subside. So, when someone does you a big favor, if you are, say, nice, you want to repay that favor. In the online world this means talking that person up, commenting on their posts, sharing their posts…you know the drill.
But there can come a point where paying this kind of homage can get carried away, right? For example, if a person starts sending out information that isn’t 100% accurate and they are called out for that (even nicely), you might get carried away and say that nobody should criticize your pal. You might be mean to other people because you perceive they are being mean to your friend. You might even close your mind to other opinions that vary from this person’s. You paid your homage to this person and that’s that. End of discussion.
Then again, maybe we don’t pay enough homage
There are certainly people out there who get caught in the idolizing trap. But I think it’s also fair to say there are people who wouldn’t know a ceremony of respect if it came up and whacked them in the face. These folks always present themselves as “self-made.” Their blog has comments because they started writing such awesome stuff. They have a lot of Twitter followers because all they did was tweet for 17 days straight, right? Regardless of how many people helped them out, promoted their work, taught them things, answered questions, or cheered them on, these folks climbed the mountain based purely on their own skills, wile, and charm. Homage? Hardly.
Is there a healthy amount of homage to pay?
The approach that has worked best for me is something I like to call reciprocation. It’s a revolutionary concept, and something that certainly would have been alien to our Medieval ancestors. I can map it out for you in a pretty easy formula. Hang on, let me get my blackboard out. OK.
You do something for me + I do something in return for you = Reciprocation
Phew. Alright, so, that’s basically the trick there. Now, you don’t have to be OCD about this. It’s more sort of a gut feel. I try REALLY hard, for example, to make sure I respond to comments that I get here on ye olde blog. You took the time to read and comment, I try to reciprocate that by responding in kind. I don’t necessarily need to build you a shrine, but quid pro quo. If you promote a post of mine, I try to share something that you do. Maybe not *that minute* but I try to make sure I let you know I appreciate what you do. Sometimes I fail at this, and that makes me feel bad. So I try to work on it. I don’t tend to mindlessly worship anybody, nor do I tend to ignore when folks take time out of their busy lives to give me a boost.
Reciprocation seems like an okay compromise, at least for me.
But maybe I’m weird.
*cough*
So what do you think? Do we pay too much homage online or not enough? Where do you fall in this crazy medieval spectrum? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dunechaser/1228875390/ via Creative Commons
13 comments
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I’ve paid homage. I’ve sent tribute. What more do you want? 🙂 Great article, as always, Margie.
@mantywebdesigns I think I need to pay some homage back now :O
I still think I have not paid enough homage to you my friend. I am a big fan.
Great post!
@RaulColon oh whatever. You’ve been a great friend of mine for just about as long as I’ve been online. Even when you had that Twitter handle I never could remember or get right 🙂
I’m not so sure about paying homage to those who help me. I don’t think I owe them my undying dedication. I wholly believe in showing gratitude, being kind, doing what I can to help. But I also subscribe to the belief that one should give without the expectation of getting something in return. By paying homage, there becomes an expectation that someone will “defend your honor to their death”. As professionals, I find it unseemly when someone is always jumping up to defend someone, RT, comment simply out of a sense of indebtedness rather than genuine desire to do so. We see many people online doing this, especially with the RTs and comments that are clearly not aligned with their own personal beliefs. They come off as a hanger-on rather than an intelligent individual.
I’m also skeptical of blog comments where day in and day out the same person is stroking the writer’s ego, and following them around wherever they are online doing so.
For some it’s hard to distinguish paying homage to idol worship and at that point all credibility is lost. I’ve seen these homage-givers both IRL and online, and while I appreciate their support of a mentor it’s becomes disgusting when the cross the line to kiss-@$$.
@saving4someday Well said, Sara. Can’t really argue with you on any of that. If your opinion of someone else begins to outweigh your opinion of your own self, you’re going to run into trouble. And truthfully, if people see that one particular person is getting paid a lot of homage, they might want to target that person even more. It creates a lot of trouble in the online world. Probably in the offline world, too.
Let me quickly stop by to pay you some homage Margie 😉
Like everything else, I think the answer on this one is all over the board. For example, I used to have more time to comment, share, like, etc, etc….but today, I’m overwhelmed, too much so at times. I did a webinar yesterday and got about 100 personal emails from it…Now I’m trying to answer their stuff, and I know I won’t have the time to give love to others (I’m here because I needed a mental break and you always offer good mind stimulation Margie).
We can only do what we can do, that’s for sure. And it’s impossible to know the reasons why others “appear” not to be as sharing, or “homage paying” as one might want.
And regarding homage, I think it’s great to have friends online, it’s great to support them, but it’s also great to have philosophical debates with them– something that clearly doesn’t happen enough in my opinion.
I’m sure my comment here makes little sense, but like I said, I just needed to muse for a minute 🙂
Good stuff my friend,
Marcus
@Marcus_Sheridan You know how to make a Margie’s day, Mr. Man. What sweet things to say!
It does get tricky. I know there are some comments that have been left here that I fully intended on going back to, but thought never meets with opportunity or I get pulled away. I feel bad about that. You can’t be perfect online. You’re always going to be ticking someone off. As a type-A personality (like woah) that’s been a tough lesson to learn.
Having 100 emails to answer after a webinar is a great problem to have. Congratulations!! 🙂 And thanks for being your wonderful self.
Great Post! Relationships that work and are healthy are reciprocal….
@kevjkirkpatrick Makes sense, right?
No, Margie you are not weird.
Homage is a tricky thing. We do owe something to those who help us, gratitude. But we also owe it to ourselves to keep our integrity. We pay respects and give back when we can, but it is after all homage and not lifelong servitude.
Yes, I love the medieval stuff, and unfortunately I too, know way too many Python sketches by heart. 🙂
Martina
@Martina McGowan Once again it comes down to balance, right? Maybe I should just call this blog “The Balancing Act” since that seems to be what most of my posts talk about. But it’s really true. You can be thankful and appreciative without going overboard. No. Really!
Homage is fine to a point. What drives me crazy are the comment sections in which bloggers seem to set aside their ability to think and engage in critical reasoning so that they can do nothing but praise the writer for discovering that the sun has risen yet again.