Don’t lie
Everyone these days seems to have a lot of advice about how you can find success in the online world. There’s advice about how to create compelling content. There’s advice on how to get the best results from Twitter, Google Plus, Facebook, and Pinterest. There’s advice on how to make loads of money using affiliate marketing, and there’s advice on how to create a compelling email campaign.
The best advice I have to offer can be boiled down to two words. Two small words.
Don’t lie.
Every problem I’ve seen in the online world could have been avoided had the folks involved heeded this advice.
Don’t lie.
Don’t tell me you’re interested in community building if you’re having someone else communicate for you.
Don’t say you’ll do something if you have no intention of doing it.
Don’t say you like someone only to turn around and bad-mouth them to other people.
Don’t lie to yourself about what you know or about what you are capable of, and don’t lie to other people about that either.
Don’t offer false advice because you don’t have the real answer.
Don’t offer advice that you don’t follow.
Don’t lie.
Even if the truth may hurt. Even if you are afraid people might think less of you. Even if the lie is so much more attractive.
Don’t lie to me. Don’t lie to other people.
And most of all, don’t lie to yourself.
That is the most straight path to online success and contentment I can think of.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/juehuayin/4654551155/ via Creative Commons
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Great advice for life!! Well put, as always, Margie!
@Adrian Hoppel Thanks sir!
now…about that Ski Resort property in Arizona….
@samfiorella I like your place especially the ice rink 🙂
@samfiorella Do tell!
Come on Margie, people lie and worse online. Seriously there is some real nonsense that goes on. I have witnessed and felt it. People can be what and who they want online and that is why to an extent it is so attractive people can escape from reality. I don[t lie to myself or anybody else. It is the easy way to end up in a place you don’t want to be. But people embellsih the truth constantly from an ethical point of view that may be just as bad. I agree though in general.
Don’t lie 🙂
@Grit08 Kenny!!! So lovely to see you here my friend!
Yeah I think we agree on this one 🙂
So true, @margieclayman – and it would be so easy to do behind the anonymity of your screen! But in these days of transparency, you have to assume that everybody can find out everything. So as you say, “Don’t lie.”
@PointA_PointB Thanks Catherine. Yes, the sort of weird anonymity we have online may make it seem easier to lie, but I think it’s also easier to spot liars online. Could just be me tho 🙂
Lying by omission, or manipulation. This is what I see most in the on line world. I could go on with examples, but you obviously know what I mean. I have felt it, and it stings and stinks!
As always great job Margie, we can all use a little more truth about things! Thanks for saying it!
@997dave Thanks Dave!
I will take the Margie Clayman Oath and solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth… You know how the rest goes
@SociallyGenius so help you doughnuts!
@margieclayman @SociallyGenius So help you doughnuts? Sorry but I cannot lie if there are donuts there it is “so help me to some.” Dame pastry vixen. 😉
@TheJackB @margieclayman Mmmmm Donuts
@TheJackB @SociallyGenius I do what I can 😉
What if I lie about lying? 🙂
@LuftigWarren Liar!
Sage advice… with exception to one point (which I hope I am misunderstanding.)
When you say: “Don’t tell me you’re interested in community building if you’re having someone else communicate for you.”
In an effort to create the best community possible and give your community members the best experience, the best information, etc., is it not ok to ask someone else to do it? Someone who you feel to be a subject matter expert—or at a minimum, can articulate the information better than you can?
As someone who has studied to be a teacher and who trains for a living, I know that we often have to teach things in a different manner to different people to get them to understand. Not to mention, businesses bring in speakers to motivate, encourage, and train their employees all the time.
Thoughts?
@BrandonPDuncan I think in the online world, you need to be careful to nurture the relationships yourself. For example, if I bring a guest poster here, people (I hope) will know that I know the writer, that I have approved of the content, and that I wouldn’t let anyone post here that I thought would break the understanding I have developed here with my community of readers. I have built the relationships.
To use your teacher analogy, you have the relationship with your kids but you send them to teachers so that they can learn stuff that you might not have the time to teach them. But the real relationship is with you.
Or that’s how I see it anyway.
@margieclayman Ok, that does clear it up. Basically, don’t fake the funk by not taking ownership of the referral (in so many words.)
Got it. 🙂
I actually created a social media policy. It outlines how I respond and communicate online. I have notice some de-follows. But at least it is all out there and I prefer it that way. I have changed my reasoning about some tools, like triberr, and I always explain that to people. I also go back through my archives and disclose that things have changed for me. It seems a little paranoid, but things really do matter to people. Omission can sometimes be just as bad as telling a lie.
@susansilver Absolutely, Susan. Omission is really easy to do in the online world too because, hey, who would know? It can be a real trap!
You know how I can tell if you are lying to me? I see your lips moving………………ha ha ha………….hilarious, huh? I think that’s an attorney joke, but probably interchangeable with insurance sales too…………..sheesh……..
Here’s my take and you knew you were going to get it because I had to be able to talk about myself sometime in here, right? There are so many in here eager to learn; they know there is a way to make money but they just don’t seem to be able to get their arms around it and harness it. They become very trusting and naive…..
What happens is some of these so-called gurus and guru wannabes are just master manipulators; it’s all about them but they will tell you it’s not. They will take advantage of you and do it with a smile. This is where seemingly normal people turn into complete douchebags. I’m not being judgmental, but I’m smart enough to stay away.
If you survive long enough in here, eventually you will see someone’s true colors.
That.is.all.
@bdorman264 very true, Bill. I became hip to that jive about a year in to my social media stuff. I started to realize that people knew I would go out and support them if they did a little thing for me. Slowly my support began to outshine what they had done for me, and I realized I was being played. It was a dreadful feeling, but it was a great lesson.
I’m not sure that that is lying per se, although one might lie to oneself and say, “I would never.” But it’s ugly nonetheless. And a shame!
What if you pretend to be a dog, but you are a really honest dog? Except for that whole “I’m not really a dog” thing… so conflicted 🙂
@dogwalkblog That’s like, a whole other post, dude.
But honestly, and I say this with all love, if people think you’re really a dog…they might sort of deserve to be toyed with a little 🙂