When I was in, oh, I guess about eighth grade, my language arts class went through a real Greek Tragedy period (great for pre-pubescent kids, right?). We read Oedipus and Antigone and all those great gory Greek stories with people popping their eyes out and missing riddles and signs and all that jazz. One of the words that kept coming up (because in eighth grade you can’t learn a word just once) was hubris. It was pretty much the undoing of every character that got undone. “Blinded by the Pride” might have been a huge hit single during this time period.
Of course, philosophers have mused about hubris for as long as they’ve been philosophizing. Where is the line between confidence and arrogance? Where is the line between proven accomplishments and well, hubris?
The unsinkable ship
Today marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. The real Titanic, not the one that Leo and Cate were on. In a lot of ways, the Titanic was a sort of a 20th century Tower of Babel. It was going to be the biggest. It was going to be indestructible. And even a few classes of society were going to be sort of almost mixed together on this sailing island of paradise. The builders in Belfast and the White Star Line cruise company were over the top with pride. Of course, this proved to be not only their undoing but the undoing of 1,500 people. The Tower of Babel turned out to be more like the explosion of the two towers on 9/11. Nothing proved to be unsinkable. Except human pride, of course.
James Cameron’s “final word”
As part of the Titanic anniversary, National Geographic has been airing a show titled something along the lines of “The Titanic: James Cameron’s final word.” The concept of the show is pretty interesting on the surface. Cameron has gathered all sorts of historical and naval experts to try to piece together exactly how the Titanic split in two and sank to the sea. Why is the stern folded over like a taco and facing the opposite direction from the bow? Why is that boiler way over there? Neat stuff like that. But almost from the beginning, Cameron seems to be a man marked by hubris. First, he notes that in order to make his film, he went on down to “dive the crash site,” as if this is something just any ole person could do. But throughout the show, you see Cameron arguing science and naval history with people who have dedicated their careers to this, and you realize too that Cameron is not REALLY trying to solve the mystery of the ship’s demise. He’s trying to figure out just how accurate his movie was. There’s a little scene from the shooting of his movie where someone tells him something should be shifted to make it more realistic and Cameron quips, “Yeah, well, I’m going to keep it that way so my movie is actually dramatic.”
Hubris. Yucky every time.
As I reported these observations to my Facebook friends and while I was agonizing over whether Cameron should be admired or criticized, a buddy of mine said, “I think maybe his butt has been kissed too much.” I think that’s probably pretty accurate. Then I got to thinking, “I wonder if that’s the case in the online world too.”
The construction of online hubris
I’ve been helping out a new blogger here and there and it’s funny to watch the process that I went through via this prism of another person’s experience. This person is monitoring their traffic every day, practically, just like I did. When they get a comment they are so excited. Sometimes they report their traffic doubled from the day before. “I could get used to that!” They tell me.
Indeed.
It’s pretty hard not to feel like you’re getting your butt kissed here in the online world. You have pictures of yourself plastered all over the place. All of these sites ask you what’s on your mind. Look at this site here. I can write some words and then people not only respond, but they share it! Holy smokes. One can get a big head pretty quickly that way.
Is your butt getting kissed too much?
I think perhaps some people get a little too carried away with it. For example, I feel sometimes like people with big followings on Twitter feel like just mentioning someone is a great act of charity. After all, them saying your name means some 500,000 people are seeing your name, right? I always picture the recipient tweeter bowing down and saying, “Oh…thank you for mentioning me! Thank you!”
It’s kind of creepy.
I find myself wondering if this is why a lot of people online end up talking or writing about things that they really don’t know, just like James Cameron trying to explain history to two different historians (“I mean, that is history, right?”). If you’re not an experienced marketer, why are you talking about marketing as if you’re an expert? If you don’t know much about how to motivate others, why are you calling yourself a life coach?
How can online hubris lead to your undoing? You can end up saying something really wrong and you can get called on it. You can discover that maybe people don’t REALLY think you’re so great. Your belief that you are now above basic human manners can result in you losing touch with people who really did think you were neat. It can backfire in all sorts of ways (though hopefully not in the eye-poking sort of way).
Having big online followings can be a lot of fun. It can be an ego boost. But all I have to do is mention some big accomplishment of mine to a friend not involved in this world to get myself grounded again. I can’t tell if it’s the puzzled deer in the headlights kind of look or the rolling of the eyes, but I just get the sense that most people simply do. not. care. You should remember that too, as you roll along in this heady online world. You are not unsinkable. Hubris can really weigh you down. That’s a combination to be wary of.
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/toolmantim/3202458687/ via Creative Commons
I guess I am lucky that way…definitely not too many people kissing my butt! I can say that with absolutely certainty.
Seriously, this is a major problem with social media, and a major driver in its growth. Twitter creates competition by its design (e.g., by not allowing one to hide one’s “follower” count), and then Klout, and then…it’s celebritization everywhere you look. I actually wanted to create a site called “Burst Your Own Bubble” at one point, where social media celebs could get on and make the case that they weren’t ego hounds. You can never overestimate the power of vanity.
That hubris goes beyond the personalities too…management, e.g., that thinks it understands social media and doesn’t invest enough in it. KFC, anyone? It’s amazing after all the gaffes that it’s still happening.
Fortunately there are good people like you and Gini and Geoff around. I’m not kissing your butt to say that. 😉 You’re all giving out solid, concrete advice on how to avoid these pitfalls, and walking the walk. It’s funny that the top tier by and large doesn’t seem to have this problem, one or two exceptions aside. It’s the climbers, it seems. People who don’t know to rely on people who will check their heads from time to time.
So here’s a couple questions for you: Do you think it’s possible to have a huge following and not let it go to your head to some extent? Is it inherent? Who do you think does it well?
And thanks for the great reminder of this. It’s human to fall prey to it from time to time, and we can all help each other out.
@WillReichard I think you should proceed with that website. Sounds wonderful! 🙂
Is it possible nto to let online success get to your head? Well, I’d like to think I’ve walked that line so far. It’s okay to get excited and it’s okay to be happy about your online accomplishments, but you have to remember that as a world, social media is very small. It just seems big because we are so enmeshed in it. In the end, what matters most is how you live your live beyond the screen. Are you doing your job and doing it well? Are you taking care of your family and enjoying your friends? If that’s all going perfectly AND you have social media success, you have a right to be pretty darned happy. But social media success is not a substitute for the “real.” At least in my opinion.
Who does the walk of success well? The first person who comes to mind is Jay Baer. He is one of the big online powerhouses, but he remains supportive, accessible, and doesn’t really take his success too seriously. Gini and Geoff, as you mentioned, are also people I look up to in this regard.
Glad you liked the post!
@margieclayman Thanks, Margie–you are one of those I continue to read, in part because you definitely have avoided the trap. Your honesty really shows.
I need to learn more about Jay. Mark Schaefer is someone else who came to mind when you said that. Thank you for the reply!
Hubris is ugly, online or off. True about the glitterati of social media or the “socialati” as I call them. Some are knowledgeable, great people. Others you want to introduce to a flying brick. I’ve seen it in action with retired family members, talking about their corporate lives, what level they’ve attained, the people the’ve meet, the money they’ve made and how they spend it. Only they haven’t figured out that they are really nobodies in the grand scheme. Within their sphere of influence, they have a name, but even that is fleeting. Similar to your experience, I can refer to the people in social media circles I follow, but mention those names to people in other industries and you’ll rarely get a hint of recognition.
@BobReed I think people are born with the desire to feel that they are leaving a legacy. Much of what Abraham Lincoln did was to ensure that his legacy would live on because he didn’t really believe in an afterlife. He didn’t celebrate the freedom of African Americans when he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. He said, “I think this is what I’ll be remembered for.”
So, that’s all natural. However, using what success you have as a shield against criticism or against common courtesy – that is where people get into trouble. You need to stay grounded somehow. Often family is great for that 🙂
@margieclayman Didn’t know that about LIncoln. Your second paragraph nailed it. These people do not exercise common courtesy. In fact, they are infamous for their downright intransigence. It is truly all about them.
Hubris can destroy your reputation and your credibility. I recently got into a Twitter discussion with one of the “Twitterati” about some medical “advice” they were passing out. Needless to say, it went poorly, and I don’t think I’ve gotten a tweet since.
People get carried away by the online pseudo-fame, and begin to feel that their expertise in one area must naturally extend into all areas of life. This is simply not true. It doesn’t sound super-cool, but sometimes the best answer is. “I don’t know.”
And, of course you are correct. Mention any of this stuff Twitter, G+, even FaceBook to someone who doesn’t do it, and you can be quite humbled.
We have to learn to keep it all in its proper perspective. Just like everything else in life.
Good post,
Martina
@Martina McGowan Well, you’re just a doctor. I don’t know why would try to compete with a social media guru 🙂 Silly lady!
Humbled is a great word. I remember posting to Facebook that a post of mine had been retweeted x number of times – I was really excited. A friend of mine commented, “Most of the time I have no idea what you are talking about.”
That’ll take ya down a notch 🙂
I was on the Titanic ? 🙂
@CateTV Yep! With Leo!
Brian Solis wrote a post about this, too (which I RT’d), only to have some guy zap back the digital equivalent of “Is so ~ yuh-HUH!” (my younger brother’s favorite retort). There are SO many people I know whose digital footprint is small potatoes and yet they wield enormous influence in the brick and mortar world.
Online influence is a different beast. It’s real but expresses and manifests itself differently. One of the anchors of both online and offline influence is that measurable outcomes occur as a result of the intervention of the influencer. This outcome is predicated on trust.
When you talk about things you don’t know about, you look like an idiot and thus, by extension, someone not to be trusted.
Martina is absolutely correct when she says that accolades and praise must be met with grace. When we start believing our own hype, we begin the slippery slope that leads to a fall.
Good stuff, Margie! 😀
@mckra1g See, what I’m worried about is that you don’t always look like an idiot to people. Once you reach a certain pinnacle of success online, it seems like people give you a free pass to say whatever you want. That’s what I really find frightening. It’s not just that people get full of themselves, but it’s the “Emperor’s New Clothes” syndrome. People who are newer to the online world get really intimidated, I think, when they see a person who has written books or who has a ton of followers or what have you. I find that very worrisome.
Margie,
Factually, I don’t have a lot of followers and I don’t get a lot of comments. But then again, I don’t write everyday or even every week. I read most of your posts and I used to comment more often, but my real work…that is working with our clients had to take 1st place. A few days ago you wrote about wanting to know more about your grandparents. You were bemoaning the fact that when they were around you didn’t take the time to ask questions, etc. I think we all feel that way, although for me I never met any of my grandparents as they all died prior to my birth. So my search for facts is shared with other first cousins and it is a remarkable search. One more item about requesting military records. I did request my Father’s records. They proved informative and candid. After I received them and reviewed them, it occurred to me that I had been somewhat invasive and I wondered if I would like my children to review all of my academic and work history…without context.
Your post today about hubris actually made me consider that many, maybe most, bloggers sometimes suffer from this. Time just doesn’t allow for clear and concise research. The goal to post becomes more important than delivering facts (I think you wrote about the goal of running overtook your ability to use common sense regarding your health). I know doing research often slows me down when preparing a post…so maybe because Cameron has to answer to many investors, collaborators…he rushes to complete the task.
In honor of the Titanic – I, too, wrote a post last Sunday. You might enjoy reading my take on this historical event. http://judysoped.blogspot.com/2012/04/ships-of-dreams-teutonic-ryndam-titanic.html
Anyway, I know you were a history major and you have respect for the facts. Facts…learning from our ancestors can be wonderful, but you really are only getting the facts as they choose to remember them. After all, we are human and all subject to Greek tragedy.
Judy
Well, this certainly hits home. I had (note: past tense) someone in my sphere of influence who I genuinely thought was a friend. I was there at the time this person lost their job, there to cheer them through the process of creating something new for themselves, and was there when they started a new business (all online). At some point, my follower count wasn’t high enough; I didn’t have enough Klout *cough, cough* or whatever. The tipping point for me was the suggestion, after I tweeted my frustration with starting a website, that I should use their “service”. Seriously? After I spent time being a sounding board so you could move forward, you want to CHARGE me to do the same for me. Now that’s HUBRIS.
It happens. But at the same time, it fascinates me that, people like you, seem to avoid it. How is that? Well, my guess is it’s your base. It’s what you learned coming up in a family business. Hard work, a ton of effort, and a touch of humanity go far in moving a business forward. A the risk of sounding philosophical, it’s simply living The Golden Rule.
Do I like seeing my followers grow? Absolutely. I like knowing that something I say might have an impact on someone else; make them think about an issue in a different way. And I love what I gain from the interaction I have with them. Does the number make me smarter or better? Not hardly. As a matter of fact, I worry that with a larger number comes a greater responsibility to accuracy and professional acumen, even though my tweets are both personal and business.
James Cameron cemented himself as a slightly (heh) egotistical person to me when he shouted, “I’m King of the world!!” He meant it, I think now. Hubris indeed.
I fear this issue on online ego will continue as more and more people are trained to only feel validated by their “score” (number of followers, friends, klout, etc). REsearch is starting to show that adolescents who are allowed to plug in to social media with no limits are having a VERY hard time maintaining face-to-face relationships with their messy ups and downs. Rather they “socialize” at a very surface level online, where popular means bigger numbers. IMHO, we will eventually need to support people to develop a stronger inner sense of self. When everything that has meaning to you is outside of yourself, you are only left with hubris or massive insecurity and all the yuck that comes with that.
There are bloggers that make me crazy because minimal success has turned them into raging egomaniacs who have become impossible to deal with because they cannot accept disagreement.
If you don’t kiss their ring finger and swear allegiance they send you to the Bastille never to be heard from again. Very disappointing.