When I first joined the online world, I noticed a few things right away. I noticed that a lot of people used Twitter handles that were their actual names – this was pretty different from the way people had acted on sites like MySpace and Livejournal, where names were more along the lines of “CuddlyPuppy207.” I noticed that a lot of people had their blog sites at URLs that were “their name.com.” When I first started blogging, my site was at ladybugnotes.blogspot.com. It was a bit of a sore thumb.
People started telling me that I should use my real name on Twitter. People said I would really benefit from having a MargieClayman.com site. It took me a long, long time to decide to move ahead with both of those decisions because, in the end, I am the head chef at Humble Pie Restaurants.
Humility and Social Media -> Oil and Water
Changing my Twitter handle and my blog URL was just the beginning of the challenges I would face in the online world, and these are challenges I still struggle with. I feel yucky every time I tweet out a blog post of mine. I used to just tweet my own posts out once, in fact, and that was all. I don’t like making asks. I don’t like making a big deal out of things I do.
It’s not a matter of confidence. I’m usually very proud of what I’m doing. I just figure if people want to see what I’m up to, they can look. I’d rather shine the light on other people and rejoice in their successes. To me, that’s the power of what social media can do for people, and it’s what I enjoy most.
The problem, of course, is that all of this means that I grow at a tortoise pace, not a hare. People perpetually pass me on statistics we keep track of. My PeerIndex is at a molecular level 11. I just reached 5,000 Twitter followers. I have a little over 150 Blog subscribers. These are numbers I’m perfectly content with, but I’ll be 100% honest – there are people whose numbers are a lot bigger. They get a lot more recognition. And it’s because their priority is on winning the game.
I don’t need to win
One of the interesting things about social media is that we can promote whatever image of ourselves that we want. We can even use pictures of other people for our Twitter avatars and Facebook profile pictures. Who would know? I’ve seen people promote themselves as do-gooders when really they’re just taking advantage of an opportunity. I’ve seen people present themselves as super tough when in fact they are soft-spoken, even shy, offline.
I’ve always felt that it was most important for me to present myself here pretty much as I am. It’s too easy to get bogged down in what you’re trying to present if you’re not being true to yourself. Part of being me is my humility. I could easily sell my soul and promote the heck out of myself. I could probably play the game and play it well.
But that wouldn’t really be winning based on how I define a win. I might win more followers and more subscribers, but I’d lose myself. That’s a pretty high price to pay.
Not a sob story
Of course, this is not to say “Woe is me.” It’s shocking to me that my reception in the online world, for all of this complexity, has been what it has been. That many people want to see what I’m saying? Are you kidding? For me, I’ve already won.
But I’m only human. It stinks when people who don’t write well get more acclaim just because they concentrate on themselves more. It stinks when someone gets lauded for something they are only pretending to do. Even so, I am happy with where I am. I am proud of where I am. Who wouldn’t be proud of the community I’ve gathered in such a short time?
So I will not try to win the social media game. Instead, I will strive to continue to win your support and friendship, and most importantly, I will win the Margie game. I’ll remain true to myself.
What more could a person really want, anyway?
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/edsel_/4893846987 via Creative Commons
Hey, I don’t talk about myself all the time; it just appears like I am. And I only got acclaim once and I think it was because of my hair and my 3 blog subscribers……
I would use your Avatar if you would let me. The one I use I had to rent, and it’s costing me an arm and a leg and the dude isn’t even that good looking.
I think you are winner; you are doing all the right things and you are certainly known by all the right people. As long as you are comfortable and proud of what you are doing, then you might as well keep on doing it. If you think it takes kicking it up a notch to validate yourself, then I’m sure you could do that as well.
If I can say, I sense some restlessness as you have alluded to this topic in a round about way on several posts. I think you are rockin’ and hope you find your sweet spot and just run with it.
For me personally, I started getting comfortable once I quit chasing and worrying about who was supporting who. I decided to just put my head down, have a little fun with it and just see where it takes me.
Like you said, people actually like what I have to say; really? That’s a win all by itself……………..
@bdorman264 You are probably right, Bill. I’m a big fan of justice, and there is a lot of injustice I see in the online and offline worlds. It bums me out that I can’t wave a magic wand and make everything the way it *should* be. Like, for example, you as king of the world 🙂
Thanks for your great comment!
Yay! Margie, I love YOU for who you are…and make it a point to be myself and talk to those people who resonate with me and my message. Numbers are a fallacy. Having 10,000 twitter followers or blog subscribers, but only 10 who actually engage or take action on anything you ask or promote isn’t good for anything. Having 150 subscribers and 50 who comment, know who you are, care about what you say is not only a statistical win, but a personal one.
All of my businesses are built on building a small, specific community of highly engaged folks. When I promote a new thing-y in my business I get over 20% of my community to jump in. I do that by being me, sharing relevant stuff with them (some of it mine) and listening to their needs. People who constantly drone on about themselves, their families, kids, projects, birthday cards–totally boring and a waste of my time. They may have big numbers, but their value add is low and eventually people who partner with them in business will realize it’s all about the other guy and not about their needs.
Keep on keeping on, Margie. It’s a tortoise and hare thing, people will catch up to your good energy and soul soon enough : ).
@susangiurleo Amen Doktah Gee. I was lucky to learn that lesson early. I looked at my traffic one day and saw that it was really low – only about 100 visitors. However, I had gotten a total of some 20 reactions to my post, whether it was a tweet or a comment. That meant 20% of the people who visited did *something.* I haven’t worried about numbers since : )
“Be more of who you are meant to be, and less of who you are not.” This is a lesson for me in 2011…and a new mantra for me in 2012. Sounds so simple, but it’s not easy. Seems you’ve already conquered this ideal, Margie! Kudos to you, my friend. 🙂
@LisaPetrilli Well, it’s always a battle, isn’t it? But I do the best I can, as do you and so many others 🙂
I like your perspective, gal!
@SteveWoodruff Thanks Steverino 🙂
I really enjoyed what you wrote, and with everything you post, there’s a lot to think about. You wrote, “It’s too easy to get bogged down in what you’re trying to present if you’re not being true to yourself. ” I immediately thought of the quote by Mark Twain: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything!”
People respect you because you’re Margie Clayman. I would like to think that I’m not being naive by stating that the phonies are not respected. They may have people following them on Twitter, but that’s just a game. Nothing more. Hugs!
@Moxiereviews Ah, quoting Mark Twain. A sure way to my heart 🙂
I don’t know if the phonies are sniffed out are not. I think sometimes people simply see that a person has a big pull, and that’s all they need because they want to be pulled up themselves. Kind of a bummer, non?
I’ll be your cheerleader Margie. We have to promote ourselves these days and YOU have so much to offer so many people. Think of it as a giving thing.
@BruceSallan Yeah, I’ve had people tell me that before. It still feels awkward to me. It seems like the better move is still to push other people up. If you’re pushing yourself out there, even with the best of intentions, you’re still pushing *yourself* out there, right?
YESSSSS!!! I lost hope of finding someone who just doesn’t care about their “personal brand” but just does a good job and being good. Thank you for being you. You just won yourself a new fan. 🙂
@ifdyperez Awesome! Thank you 🙂 I’m very glad to hear that. Never lose hope 🙂
One Question:
If you could bring your perspective, compassion, and talent to 20% of 1,000 people versus 100 without losing your authenticity and moral compass – would you?
@Stanford I don’t think one precludes the other. I think my community will continue to grow so that I may get to that 20% of 1000 some day. But it will be slow. It won’t be one fell swoop. It won’t be quick. And that capacity to reach more people will never be my bullseye.
Interesting question!
I can relate, Margie. I am building the personal brand, and I think people are beginning to trust the man behind the brand. I hope that ultimately translates to people wanting to work with people they like and respect…because we know by my 12Most post -> I have *at least* 12 reasons why I suck at Sales 😉
You are inspirational to an entire group of bloggers via your presence on 12 Most. I am thankful for who you are, and that “smaller” set of followers surely thinks the same way!
@dbvickery I wouldn’t trade my community for anything in the world. Hand to the Bible or anything else you want me to swear on. I am very, very lucky. And I never forget it.
Margie like this a lot, please remain true to yourself…I would not want it any other why…
“The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn’t indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn’t detect.” Mark Twain
I too am fond of him!
And they were very smart people. It allowed you to be you and people come to know you. Any other name is a pen name (except for a business/brand of course) that is a literally figure that creates a boundary. Our own names breaks that boundary and invites people in. Similar to arms crossed, arms open. Giving a hug to someone whose arms are crossed is never comfortable.
And they were very smart people. It allowed you to be you and people come to know you. Any other name is a pen name (except for a business/brand of course) that is a literary figure that creates a boundary. Our own names breaks that boundary and invites people in. Similar to arms crossed, arms open. Giving a hug to someone whose arms are crossed is never comfortable.