Given that I am sitting here writing post number 15 for The Engagement Series, you might have a few assumptions about how I manage my Social Media presence. There are a few givens. For example, there are millions of people on Facebook and Twitter and in the blogosphere, and even the squishiest of the squishy can’t engage and be friends with everyone. Second of all, as we discussed a couple of days ago, one must always be ready for the growth potential of an online community. It may even be likely that I actually believe that engaging with people online is pretty important.
So, with all of that mushed together, you probably would go to Vegas and bet on the fact that I have lots of Twitter lists and Facebook filters that help me keep everyone organized. As the subject of this post might preview, you would lose that bet in a landslide.
My case, by way of a story from long ago, but from this same galaxy
Once upon a time, a bunch of my friends were spatting with each other. This was actually a pretty common state of affairs, but that’s a different story. Anyway, one day I decided I was going to throw a party, and it just so happened that I wanted to invite a bunch of these feuding friends over. I figured their friendship with me was far more important than their feuds with each other (oh the glory of being a 20-something). So, I sent out an email. The next day, I got an angry email back. “I can’t believe you put my name right after so and so’s name. Don’t you know I hate them!?”
This event made me aware that people are highly cognizant of how you categorize them. Now, that was just an email, and one might argue that that particular friend may have been a bit high-strung (I’m certainly not going to say that). However, when it comes to things like Twitter lists and Facebook filters, this is the kind of reaction that I keep front of mind.
Just in case you think I’m making this up, I will tell you that I have created two lists during my year on Twitter. Just two. And out of those two, I got a reaction from a person who said, “Oh man, so I’m not on that list, huh? What’d I do wrong?” For me, and for the kind of engagement I prefer, it seems easier to just innocently ignore rather than create lists where people will always feel left out.
The Three Big Monsters
OK, still not convinced. Fair enough. There are three big monsters that come up and growl at me when I think about lists and filters. Here they are.
1. That whole “public”/”people talking” thing: OK, so we’re talking about engaging on social networking sites, so there are two things that you can take for granted. One, there are probably tons and tons of people you don’t know who can see what lists you’ve created on Twitter. Two, people tend to be eager to point out situations where they “belong” and someone else doesn’t. What does that mean?
– If you create a Twitter list called “My best buds” and someone who thought they were your best bud doesn’t appear on there, you’re likely to hear about it
– If you send information or an invite just to certain people on Facebook, it is almost certain that someone will mention it to a person who was not included in your filter. That person will either simmer and wait for a chance to “get you back,” or they will invoke the really comfortable conversation that starts, “So, I hear you’re…”
2. You will ALWAYS miss someone, without fail: In my case, the person I left off my list was actually someone I fully intended to include. But as sure as the weather is going to be completely unpredictable in Northeast Ohio tomorrow (and that’s a pretty good bet) you will sit down to make a list and you will forget someone. They will pop up and tweet at you just as soon as you finish your list, too, and you will be filled with pangs of guilt. Seriously! These things happen!
3. Once you start a list or a filter or a special group, you have to maintain it: Part of my issue with lists is that unless you use automated lists, you have to keep up with who you’re adding every time you meet someone new. For me, this just got to be too tedious. The idea of constantly going through and adding to a list, or maybe creating sub-lists once that list got too big, just did not seem like the best way I could spend my time.
So how do I keep up with people?
Just because I don’t shrink my online world with lists and filters, don’t think I don’t have some sort of method to my madness. Here are some of the ways that I make sure I keep up with people I like.
1. On Twitter, I live on my replies page. It’s the first place I go when I sign in. People who are talking to me are priority 1. This is a bit harder to do on Facebook, but the general principle still works. In the blogosphere, I prioritize getting to as many comments as I can first.
2. I actually send out shout-outs to people I haven’t talked to in awhile. Yep, I go to them. Because I like them and I want to talk to them.
3. I visit peoples’ profiles or Facebook pages and see what they’re up to, because I can’t count on my Facebook or Twitter stream to feed me everything (sadly).
4. I jump into chats where I see a lot of familiar faces and talk to people that way, too.
Remember, too, that you met the people you want to keep in touch with because you saw them pop by in your Twitter stream or your Facebook stream. If you keep yourself fenced off in list or filter land, your chances of meeting new people drop significantly. When it comes to engagement, that’s a major problem.
So what do you think? Am I dead-wrong? Or do you do things kind of like I do? What are the pros and cons?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
This is post 15 in The Engagement Series. If you want to make sure you don’t miss a post, hey, that’s what that subscribe button is for!
1st Image by Jason Morrison. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/creationc
2nd Image by Jean Scheijen. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/vierdrie
I have to agree that you willl always miss someone and some people are extra sensitive. But if it is a list about your best buds they if they really are they will understand. If not then you should evaluate your relationship.
The other day I created a local blogger event for one of my possible clients and I forgot to invite one of my closest tweeps that is an awesome blogger. What saved me was that I asked if I had miss someone? He asked me if he could go and I just added him to the list. Maybe asking a few times might save you from having someone feel left out or insulted.
I agree, asking and following up can work, but is that the most efficient use of online time? I know that lists can do a lot of good, but it’s a lot of maintenance, it seems to me, and in your scenario, it ended up creating a bit of an awkward situation, too. Makes me feel icky 🙂
Coupla things:
I have only a few lists on Twitter, but I keep working on them because it separates the wheat from the chaff. As of this comment, I am following about 800 people. I stopped reading every tweet once I started following more than five! I find almost all of my inspiration, material, and online connections through Twitter, so lists are important to me. It helps me categorize.
With that said, two of my lists are public, the rest are private. And, like Facebook, I don’t particularly care if anyone is offended that they are not on my lists. I’m not being mean here, I’m simply stating that my lists are for me. If you want to see who’s on it, go ahead. I don’t mind. If you are unhappy that you’re not on my list, that’s your problem, not mine, and if you choose to “unfriend” me or unfollow me or block me, that’s your prerogative, not mine. There are hundreds of millions of other people out there that I’ll find that will fill any void you think you’re creating.
(Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? You know what? It is, but for you, not me.)
Here’s the thing: We try so hard to humanize our digital behavior, and in so many instances it is crucial we do. But for some out there, the humanity is an expectation (If you’re following me, then I MUST be on your list!) Funny thing is, even with lists and friends, I STILL don’t reach out to half of them. I just pay attention because I like them.
No, I don’t think you’re wrong at all. That’s the benefit of applications like Facebook and Twitter – people can use them any way they want. The problems is how others perceive you using it. Have you ever had people tell you you’re doing it wrong? No, you’re not. You’re not at all. You’re just not doing it the way they want you to do it.
Okay, I’m tired now. Sheesh. I gotta cut down on these rants!
You should write your own post! 🙂
I can see your point, and yeah, there’s always the old saying, “So and so is mad and I am glad because now I don’t have to please them.”
I guess in the framework of engagement, I worry about closing doors on people. That person who ends up feeling bad could be the person who connects you to a new friend or a new spouse or a new job or a new opportunity. Everybody carries that potential. Can you really risk that? Granted, not everyone is a jewel, but that seems like a risky game to play. Then again, you can’t please everyone even under the best of circumstances!
Well, I think there’s always risk. However, there is a certain return on the investment. If I said yes to everyone, it dilutes any chance I have of developing meaningful relationships. For example, if I said yes to everyone, would I be here, writing this, right now? There’s a chance I wouldn’t.
It’s an art as much as it is a science.
Margie,
We usually see eye-to-eye but I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one. No, you are not creating lists on Twitter, but you still have them. We all do. You are just “maintaining” yours in your head. And I’m sure you miss people.
There are some people I like to keep track of on a daily basis. Others weekly or otherwise. That’s what Twitter lists are for me. I have my “Left Column”, then specialized ones by industry, geolocation, subject matter, customers, etc.
Most of my lists are public. It’s part of transparency. Since yours are in your head, they are all private. And if someone is missing or offended, well, hey, we’re all fallible. I’ve had people reach out to me and I realize the reason I haven’t kept up with them is because they are missing from a list. So, I add ’em to the list. If someone gets upset for not being on a list, get over it. My two golden rules? 1) Try not to offend anyone; 2) try not to be easily offended.
I also make sure to spend time in my “main stream”, the feed that is all the people I follow.
There is no one, great solution. But it’s certainly a topic worthy of discussion.
-Alan
Discussion was mainly what I was going for. I figured people would have very different approaches to lists and filters, and in fact, I suspect that I’m in the minority. I’m willing to be proven wrong (most of the time!) 🙂
You’re right, I do have lists of sorts in my head, and it’s probably not all that hard to figure them out. And you’re right too that perhaps those lists, being in my head, are not as transparent as they should be. I’m not going to fight to the death for my believe that lists are icky, but I would need a lot of convincing to start using them heavily. Fair? 🙂
Certainly fair. Lists are a form of curating, finding a way to make sense of all the communications we participate in on a daily basis. Curation is the next big hurtle for media in general. My brain is just too small for all that work. Lists are a nice crutch; I can use all the help I can get. 🙂
I never really created or for that matter maintained lists. I have a cool peeps column on tweetdeck as these are people who I like to see their tweets throughout the day but other than that, having to categorize people into lists and then maintaining the list is not where I am at. I know the people I want to reach out to, talk to, engage with and also be introduced to. I follow them and talk to them.
Just the way that I do it and so far it has worked quite well for me. I also should say that I have some columns of twitter searches for certain terms that I guess is list like.
Regarding Twitter lists – I love them, but I’m very cautious with them.
I make lists like “TEDxManitoba Participants” and “Winnipeg Media” because those are the filters I want – and it’s not subjective. If you weren’t at TEDxManitoba, or you’re not in the local media, it’s hard to be brazen about not being included.
This is another thing where we need to remember what we’re making public. I’ll never publicize the list of people on my Active Reading column in TweetDeck… But you better believe I want to recognize twitterchat participants.
The trick to making public records, is to use public expectations to determine whether the record will be useful or not. There are lots of ways to recognize and filter people without allowing for perceptive bias. It might not be helpful to everyone – but that’s part of the point of filters to begin with, no?
Hi Margie, like Alan, I’m usually in agreement with your posts. However this time I think there are a few key things that you have missed. Some are mentioned by others above, but I believe deserve repeating.
1. On Twitter there is a huge difference between public and private lists. If you are worried about reactions to your list simply make it private. Problem solved. Which leads to…
2. People getting upset over a &$#%)@ list? That sounds like way too much drama for my life.
3. I seem to use public lists very differently from others. I use them to highlight business resources as well as social causes I care about – fair trade, stopping child sex trade, promoting a greener lifestyle. I’m always happy to add legitimate site to the list.
4. Unless you have a mind like a steel trap (which I don’t), you’re going to miss or forget about people without a list.
5. Being a Type A numbers geek I love lists 🙂