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The Mirror Is Not Your Enemy

November 20, 2011 by Margie Clayman 16 Comments

As some of you may know, I have a very guilty pleasure. I’m ashamed of it really.

*sigh* For the last two years, I’ve been a loyal fan of Biggest Loser.

I’m not really sure what I find so addictive about the show, but lately something has started to bother me about the show, along with many other shows dedicated to losing weight. See, a lot of the people on these shows say things like, “Well, I just didn’t think I could do it because I was too fat.” But as they start to lose weight, they discover that they still are standing in their own way even as their shirt and pant sizes decrease. It wasn’t really their weight that was holding them back. It was their brains.

It all reminds me of a scene from one of my most favorite childhood movies, The Neverending Story. Atreyu, the main hero, needs to pass by a special gate that can determine your true value and worth. If they deem you worthy, you pass. If not, they zap you with their eyeballs and you are fried. Just like in the face of a mirror, even the bravest of warriors start to doubt themselves as they approach this gate, and not surprisingly, they get the wrong end of a laser beam.

Your brain controls what you see in the mirror

How many times do you see people go up to a mirror and say, “Aww yeah, I look GREAT!” Humans tend to pick at ourselves, don’t we? Women put on a little more lipstick or give out a sigh as we notice another gray hair or another wrinkle. We look at our pants which no longer zip so easily across our bellies, or we look at, well, every possible thing that we could find wrong with ourselves. But the mirror doesn’t REALLY magnify that stuff. The mirror doesn’t make us see that we are overweight or that one ear is higher than the other. We approach the mirror like those warriors approach that soul-piercing gate. We are expecting to see something wrong because we do not love ourselves enough.

What should you look for in a mirror?

The next time you go to look at yourself in a mirror, maybe before you go to work or before you go out to dinner, take a moment and ask yourself what you’re hoping to see. Don’t let that thought become negative, like, “Man, I hope my hair looks good.” What do you want to see? Do you want to see a person beaming with happiness? Do you want to see a person who looks like they’re in control and in charge? Do you want to see a person emanating confidence and security?

How can you make the mirror show you those things? Well, you need to look well beyond the stuff the regular mirror shows you. You need to look inside your head, inside your heart, and inside your soul. Your real essence needs to be grabbed from within so that it can show itself to you when you look at yourself. Once you have that core of yourself that you want, the mirror becomes inconsequential. You know what you will see. You know it will be beautiful. Your mind’s eye is what needs to be convinced.

A mirror, after all, is just a piece of glass encased in some hard material. Right?

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shareski/3786803863/sizes/m/in/photostream/ via Creative Commons

Filed Under: Musings

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. RaulColon says

    November 20, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    @margieclayman, I have to see I could not agree more. Next time I look in the mirror I will be thinking at this post.

    Will make sure to like to look a bit deeper also!

    Reply
    • margieclayman says

      November 22, 2011 at 7:16 pm

      @RaulColon your soul is lovely, Raul. Don’t forget it!

      Reply
  2. saving4someday says

    November 20, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    I’m terrible when it comes to looking in the mirror and appreciating and loving the person looking back at me. I tell friends that they need to look in the mirror at least once a day and tell the person looking back that they love them and pay them on compliment without snickering or being embarrassed. It’s really hard to do! It’s taken me years of doing this and I still have difficulty.

    When Mary J Blige came out with her song that said “I like what I see when I’m looking at me, walking past a mirror” I felt it was a call to me to try harder to fell that way too. I’m working on it, daily!

    Reply
    • margieclayman says

      November 22, 2011 at 7:16 pm

      @saving4someday I’m glad to hear it. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of, certainly!

      Reply
  3. bdorman264 says

    November 20, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the coolest of them all? Me, of course………

    I know my minds-eye has an pretty good idea of what I think I look like and sometimes I’m surprised when I look in a mirror or see a picture; but what the heck, it is what it is and not much I can do at this point except just be me. And these days, I’m pretty ‘ok’ with that………..

    That’s about all I have to offer on this today.

    Reply
    • margieclayman says

      November 22, 2011 at 7:16 pm

      @bdorman264 but that’s a lot, m’friend.

      Reply
  4. dabarlow says

    November 20, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    What timing you have! I just got done reading an article in O magazine about liking what you see in the mirror. It gave stats on women in their late teens vs 60 year olds, interesting the differences and similarities! Me, I have always been a person that thinks beauty is more than skin deep. I don’t mind what in see, I’m a keep it real person.

    Reply
    • margieclayman says

      November 22, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      @dabarlow that’s cuz you’re amazing. Boy, on the same wavelength as O Magazine. I think I am scared! 🙂

      Reply
  5. b.nijhoff says

    November 21, 2011 at 4:43 am

    This really is a motivating article. You really nailed it. Thanks for this it really helped me. I know see that the mirror isn’t the enemy. Keep on the good work!

    Reply
    • margieclayman says

      November 22, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      @b.nijhoff well thanks!

      Reply
  6. dogwalkblog says

    November 21, 2011 at 8:12 am

    I love The NeverEnding Story. My favorite character is Falkor, the LuckDragon. Maybe there is a post in your brain about him? 🙂

    I think we have been conditioned to react that way, though I’m pretty sure there are a lot of people in my redneck of the woods who look into the mirror and say “You look fabulous!” before heading out to the local Kroger when they really should say, “Man, my butt looks way too fat to be wearing these jeggings in public.” But more power to them! They go into the world with all the self-esteem God and a lying eye gave them! Sometimes, you just need that.

    Your new avatar on the twitter looks FABULOUS, but your words on the page here look even more fabulous. Keep looking into your mirror. THe bits of soul you reveal always makes me think.

    Reply
    • margieclayman says

      November 22, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      @dogwalkblog aw, thanks Rufus. I love it when you pop by here 🙂 You’re a good puppy!

      Reply
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    November 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm

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