This post is by my friend Kaarina Dillabough. Kaarina is a business consultant, coach and strategist who helps you set and attain your goals, to be the best you can be, in business and in life. If you want to create more success in your life, grow your business and become an even more extraordinary entrepreneur join her at http://www.kaarinadillabough.com and subscribe to her content at http://feeds.feedburner.com/KaarinaDillabough. You can also follow her on Twitter @kdillabough.
I was looking at my antique suitcases the other day. They aren’t mine. Well, now they are. But they once belonged to someone from another time and place…a time and place far removed from today.
As I stood admiring the suitcases’ frayed leather straps, now-fading stickers from far-flung places, intricate brass corners and fancy lock-and-key closure, I imagined what the original owner might have packed inside…for what trip…for what purpose.
Did they take a minimalist approach, packing only the essentials? Or did they cram every conceivable “might need this” piece of clothing and paraphernalia inside, ‘til the suitcase required a feat of strength, simply to close the latches?
Were the items neatly folded and arranged, making maximum use of the space while maintaining minimal disruption to the contents en route? Or were things simply thrown willy-nilly into the case, with much grunting and groaning about how things just didn’t fit…there was just too much to fit into this small space…and there was just no time to re-pack it, or pack it properly in the first place.
Each day is like a suitcase. It has a limited amount of space and time. And that space and time can be crammed full of “stuff”, or it can be filled with the essentials.
How heavy is your suitcase? Are you struggling under its weight, or moving along with ease? If you’ve packed too much into your suitcase…your day…then it’s inevitable that you will feel weary, frustrated and exhausted as you haul your day’s work, like an anchor behind you, only to fall into bed depleted…to start packing the next day full to the brim.
Lighten your load. Remove the things you do not need. Pack the important things. Include the beautiful things. Place the productive things into the suitcase that is your day.
And if you’ve tried to make your day one of multiple suitcases…stop. Cast a critical eye on all that you’re carrying.
I often use imagery when working with clients, and the suitcase image is one that seems to fit quite well when someone is feeling overburdened, overwhelmed and just plain tired. This is how it goes:
Imagine yourself on a beautiful beach. You’ve arrived from your home, laden down with suitcases, full of things you think you’ll need. You’ve over-packed, and you know it. Your neck is stiff. Your arms are tired. Your back is aching. The weight of all that you’re carrying feels like the weight of the world.
Now picture yourself taking a few steps along the beach, placing one suitcase down. This allows you to stand a little straighter and walk a little lighter.
Take a few more steps and place another suitcase down. Whew. That feels good. You smile. You actually take in the scenery around you for the first time. It’s really beautiful.
A few more steps and another suitcase left on the beach. You now feel liberated, expansive, light and full of energy. You continue until all the suitcases are lined up behind you along the beach, and you have moved beyond them. You look back, seeing the burdens you’ve been carrying. You laugh, realizing that most of what you were carrying was unnecessary, and served only to burden you, not lighten your load. You resolve to pack lighter now.
For me, that means doing the important things each and every day, and not permitting time-wasting, energy-sucking people or things to take priority over the important stuff. It means putting the big rocks in first.
What are your big rocks? What baggage can you leave behind on the beach today?
View Margie Clayman's profile
Hey ! First one here 🙂
Big rocks? Easy my daughter, Ameena, my family are my big rocks. They will come in first.
I love your baggage metaphor, as an expat I am very aware of the stuff we carry around and how much of it is useless. The great thing about moving around so often is that it forced me to get rid of a lot of the stuff which weighed me down.
We should do it more often, not just old clothes and junk but for the feelings and emotions which weight us down.
Great post Kaarina, thank you Margie for sharing your platform with my favorite Olympian 🙂
Thanks John:) It’s so true…we need to purge not only the tangible things like clothes and junk, but the intangible feelings, emotions and thoughts that weigh us down, and do no service to us or those around us.
Family is my “big rocks” too. Both my sons are now grown and gone, and I treasure each time they’re home for a visit, or they ring me up just to say “hi”. My oldest is coming home today to pick up hockey equipment for a game tonight, and I even enjoyed washing all that equipment for him…big rocks:)
I’m a big purger by nature…always getting rid of things I don’t need, love or use any more. We can all benefit from lightening our loads. Cheers! Kaarina
Hello Marjorie!
What a gift to have Kaarina post here and what a wonderful post it is!!
I used to think the heavier the suitcase, the stronger it made me … how completely untrue and opposite! It took me quite a few years, but I think I’m traveling pretty light now and choose to pack happy, joyous things instead. What a great visual – the beach and letting my bags down! We all know that feeling externally when we “arrive” at our vacation destination after a long days travel. It’s no different with our soul so I really appreciate what you write here!
Have a beautiful, light day!
Abundant kindness,
Elena
Elena, I love that you’re “travelling pretty light now”. I was trying to find a poem I once read about a woman who packed everything in her suitcase on on her trips “just in case”….you know…an umbrella, galoshes, extra shoes, first aid kit, sewing box, screwdrivers….yikes!
I guess I learned early on to “travel light”. When you travel with a team of athletes and their equipment, there’s not much room for suitcases. You learn to take what’s essential, and buy or borrow if you forget something. Not a bad way to “pack” for life. Cheers! Kaarina
Hey hey, look who is at Margie’s…………..
Very interesting and appropriate analogies; most times we have this go, go, go mentality and not only do we not take the time to live within the moment, but we are weary and stressed.
I’m still just the ‘show up’ kind of guy so I’m very minimalist when packing, sometimes to my detriment. However, I like to live life the same way and not get too bogged down in things I can’t control anyway. Sometimes it’s good to be simple………………:).
I really enjoyed this and it was very well written; you’ve had some really good stuff here lately ma’am, I’m liking it.
I hope you are having a good week as well.
It’s always a good week in my world, Bill, even when things aren’t going smoothly. I use a drawing in my workshops that shows someone with a smile on their face but a frown in their heart, a frown on their face but a smile in their heart, and a smile on their face and a smile in their heart.
If it’s one of the latter two, which I ascribe to, then life is good…it means that, at the core and to the core, you are content and happy with your lot in life.
And I know you’re very content and happy. You exude that. And in terms of your minimalist packing…just remember shoe phone, silk robe and swim trunks, and you’re all set!
And hey…that’s a pretty serious comment there, my friend. I was waiting for the Bill barb punch line…just sayin’…. Cheers! Kaarina
Margie has some pretty high standards so I have to mind my P’s & Q’s when I’m over here; I don’t know if she’s quite ready for my Billism’s yet. I want to make sure she’s not yanking the welcome mat out from underneath me………..:). She probably didn’t know we were friends………….
Ah, OK…I get that. And I appreciate the spit polish and shine version of Bill equally to the, shall we say, more Billism’s Bill. Thanks for minding your P’s and Q’s (do you know the origin of that, by the way? I just found out it comes from pub bartender talk from days gone by in England, to mind your pints and quarts. Could be urban legend. Could be true. Don’t remember where I learned that) So thanks for the P’s and Q’s, my friend:) And appropriately enough…Cheers!
Sounds good to me, I’ll buy it……………
Great post.
I really like the analogies that you’ve used because we have all over-packed in so many ways.
I especially like the portion about getting rid of the “time-wasting, energy-sucking people or things to take priority over the important stuff.” It seems to be a theme in many postings this week.
It has become our nature to take on more and more, and carry the burden around with us; time to let go of some of it and leave it behind.
Thanks for the reminder
Martina, I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting you, so I’m delighted to make your acquaintance here.
As the saying goes: there’s no time like the present, and the gift we can give ourselves is to “let go of some of it and leave it behind.” Wise words: thanks for sharing them. Cheers! Kaarina
Dear Kaarina –
This post hit home with me.
My habits are odd.
When I travel, I bring everthing I own. You never know when you will meet with a monsoon, snowstorm, heat wave or a hurricane.
But at home, everything gets thrown out immediaely. The daily paper the moment I read it – anthing worn out – anything over three days in the refrigerator.
Lately, I have been disposing of the “time-wasting, energy-sucking people or things to take priority over the important stuff.” It takes real courage and instills a lot of guilt. But my blood pressure has gone down without the pills.
Thanks for this great post. It made me feel a lot better.
It’s nice to have permission.
Now, if I can get my packing under control . . . .
Corinne, I had to smile aloud at your travel habits in light of your at home habits. I mentioned in my reply to Elena above that there’s a humorous poem about a woman who packs everything “just in case”, so I love your “monsoon, snowstorm, heat wave or hurricane” sentence. Perhaps this post will be a reminder to pack light; and buy anything you need when you get to your destination.
I’m so glad that you’re disposing of those things and people who draw your energy and want to pull you down into their woe-is-me world. Do not feel guilt for that. Feel empowerment…feel good. You deserve to be surrounded by positive, supportive, uplifting people and things.
And you couldn’t pay a finer compliment than to say this post made you feel better. Keep those feelings rolling. You have permission. Pack light! Cheers! Kaarina
Hey Kaarina!
I’m not a “stuff” person with material things or activities. I like things simple. I could live in a tent (only in warm weather) and consider it blissful. I’m always trying to get rid of other people’s stuff so that I don’t feel compelled to manage it.
I tell my kids very often,”If I’m taking care of your stuff, that’s less time I have to play with you.”
I think I like the word “stuff”! LOL!
Ah Betsy, it does not surprise me that you’re not a “stuff” person. Simplicity is such a beautiful thing. One of the things I’ve found, after the passing of some relatives and inheriting a lot of their “stuff”, is how connected we can become to things when they connect us to the memory of someone we love.
I’m really good at purging and de-cluttering, but I must admit…some of the mementos, treasures, keepsakes and “stuff” that I’ve inherited, I’m not yet ready to part with.
I do help many of my clients to de-clutter, as a first step in setting the stage for their plans and strategy. I use the 3-bin approach: If you love it, bin 1. If you use it, bin 2. If you don’t love it and don’t use it, bin 3. And off bin 3 goes to charity. Cheers! Kaarina
I second the other comments. Great post. I also took the time to watch the video. Loved it, especially the part about always making time for coffee with friends.
Joel, great to meet you here, and thanks for seconding those comments:) The video’s great, isn’t it? Now I’m going to head over to your blog. Thanks for dropping by. Cheers! Kaarina
Thanks for posting. Tying in the seminal scene from “Up in the Air” where the protagonist gives motivational speeches about how much a life weighs would have been a good juxtaposition of a cautionary tale http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=105317682818085
WOW! Just WOW! I’ve never seen that. I’m blown away. Thanks for commenting and bringing that video to our attention. Wow. Cheers! Kaarina
Hi Kaarina, Hi Marjorie,
How heavy is my suitcase? Well it’s getting heavier with the new Kindle and iPod and nevermind what else that I now want to fit in my pure-cum-backpack LOL Funny how gadgets which were supposed to lighten the load (i.e. a Kindle that can hold numerous books!) can actually have weight themselves!
But I digress! Doing the important things first each day is so important! Stopping and asking myself, What do I want to achieve today? and then doing that first – such a good idea! I think I need to put some suitcases down, and maybe that backpack! Funny, I used to chide my mother because her purse was so heavy – get a smaller purse – I used to say! LOL But it isn’t the size of the purse but the person who fills it up! And we all get the same 24 hours, don’t we!
Lori
So true Lori: “It isn’t the size of the purse but the person who fills it up!” We could all benefit from a small purse…or suitcase…or backpack.
You are so very good at keeping to your priorities, and your comments, posts and replies to comments are always so comprehensive and well-thought out. And you have such a knack for engaging people in conversation.
It’s only when we start to “do without” that we realize that many of the things we thought we couldn’t “do without” become unnecessary…both things and thoughts. To lightening our load:) Cheers! Kaarina
What a great and timely post. I’m writing you from an ashram in Rishikesh, India, where it is becoming clearer by the day that less is truly more 🙂
I’ve been pondering the same kind of thoughts these last few days…though the ‘stuff’ I’ve been thinking about has been the barrage of information and computer time and news and blah, blah, blah that I subject myself to on a much too regular basis.
My new goal is to seek silence in each and every day. It doesn’t have to be anything big…just a little step-back from the usual ‘stuff’. Thanks again for a great post.
Colleen, I’m so glad this post caught you at a time when you are setting new goals to step back, enjoy silence and clear the mind “stuff”. How inspiring! I’ve just taken a moment to view your site, and I’m intrigued: you inspire me:) I look forward to reading all about your travels and adventures, and your pursuit of silence in each day. Thanks so much for your comment, and I look forward to getting to know you. Cheers! Kaarina
I put wheels on my suitcase so that they roll right along and so do I.
Jack, I can always count on you to find a unique twist to everything:) Touche (and if I could figure out how to put the accent over that “e”, I would:) Cheers! Kaarina
Hi Kaarina and Margie!
My grandmother was a pack rat by nature but my mother tossed anything and everything. I’ve got a little of both in me! Like you Kaarina, I find that I keep certain sentimental items that remind me of a loved one or special moment.
I think it’s good for all of us to take time to lighten the load. A close friend recently lost just about everything in her home due to our recent local flooding. I was surprised to see an upbeat Facebook post from her the next day stating that she and her husband were humbled and thankful that they had the important things: their lives and each other. Just makes you think…
Hi Alicia, and thanks for stopping by. Great point about your friends. I think we sometimes don’t realize what we can live without…or do without…until it’s taken from us. My mother keeps all kinds of things. When she moved from a house to a condo, I worked with her to purge 80 boxes down to 11. I still think there are things that she will never use or look at in those 11 boxes, but they were in the “love it” pile, so they stayed. I’d like to go back and do the exercise again with those 11 boxes:) Cheers! Kaarina
I KNEW I loved you for a reason, Kaarina! I also have old suitcases as decor in my house. Oh yeah…and you’re smart, too.
Ah, kindred spirits. Love you right back, my friend. Cheers! Kaarina
Hi Kaarina…nice to see you here and thank you Margie for inviting such a great writer to share her thoughts at your place!. What wonderful imagery you use here Kaarina. How impactful it is to analyze that which we pack into our suitcase “day”…how telling it is to review the things we pack, how we pack them, how we care for the “items” we have packed and, perhaps most importantly, how critical are the things that we have deemed “pack worthy”? It goes to the daily “struggle” that I know I have to be mindful of…living life fully and in the moment. If I focus on living in the present, that eliminates the need for me to carry old baggage and it significantly decreases my need to carry anticipated baggage. Living in the present, in theory, should only require my being (hopefully the one with the smile on my face and in my heart 😉 ) This post is a great reminder to review our daily luggage… re-prioritize perhaps…lighten the load. Your beautiful story about arriving at a gorgeous beach burdened with all of the luggage that we presumed we “needed” and, realizing that, one by one, we CAN do without AND, in fact, we are more observant of the beauty around us when less burdened…. beautiful, really!!
As an aside, on a recent A Way With Words on NPR, they discussed the origin of P’s & Q’s and the pints and quarts reference seemed to be the best origin that they found! Also, Elaine’s link to Up In The Air was perfect for this piece!!
Thanks again, Kaarina for a wonderful post! (BTW…you have a beautiful name! )
Claudia
Claudia, your comment is a beautiful post in itself. I love the way you talk about focusing on the present, especially how living in the moment…the present…”decreases my need to carry anticipated baggage.”
I really loved Elaine’s link to Up In The Air too! I hadn’t seen it, and it was a big ah-ha moment to watch it.
Keep that smile in your heart. Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving such a thoughtful, lovely comment. And thanks for the compliment on my name: I can thank my Finnish parents for that:) Cheers! Kaarina
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