Dear A-Listers: A Letter from a Little Guy
Hi there,
Let me tell you what this post is not. This post is not an attempt to bash anyone. This is not a cry for controversial attention, nor is it a huge slimy piece of link bait. Rather, Â you could think of this as kind of a plea from someone who cares.
As for who I mean when I say “A-Lister,” if you think it’s you, then it applies. The plea I have to make would really work for anyone. It’s just a matter of degrees.
With all of the disclaimers out of the way, let me get to the meat and potatoes of the issue.
A-listers, you have an amazing opportunity right now. As people who guide and lead so many in the online world, how you behave could help determine what Social Media grows up to be. With the power to drive people to websites, with the power to create major conversations on your blog sites, with thousands of followers and fans wherever you go, you have an opportunity to bridge the gap between the seeming surrealism of the online world and the all too real really real world. You have the opportunity to talk to people who are currently feeling disenchanted with this online space and make them feel really special. You could show them the real beauty that can grow from online communication.
To be fair, we all have these opportunities, but you, because of the scope of your online world, see these opportunities magnified.
It is because I see these potential opportunities laid out before you that I am consistently perplexed by what you decide to do with your online power. So many of you use your blog posts to decry how you are taken advantage of online, and then others in your crew come and you all lament your position in the online world. On Twitter, I see so many of you converse with each other as if you are surrounded by imbeciles. I understand that you are more exposed to trolls and rude treatment, but you receive so many compliments every day you can’t even keep track of them. Must you use your powerful Twitter presence to complain to each other as if you were truly in an exclusive club?
Maybe my expectations are a tad unrealistic, but it seems like every day I see a different A-lister getting applause for “calling BS” or for lamenting the general status of the online A-lister. While it’s certainly not my place or intent to tell you how to use your site and your time, it seems like there are so many things that would be more productive, more inclusive, more “safe” for newer people to participate in. Perhaps you could visit some of the people I talk to on Twitter who are so discouraged that they are ready to quit. They can’t get a modicum of attention in the online world right now, and all they see are their mentors lambasting, well, people like them.
You were new once, though the times were different. You were trying to find your voice, find your friends, and figure out this maddening technology. But you did not have the experience of looking up to see a ceiling of people who were beyond reach, beyond reproach or praise, high above you in the ethereal realms of this online world. It’s intimidating. It’s frustrating sometimes. And you can determine how all of that comes out in the wash. It’s you, not us little guys, who can decide if the future of Social Media will consist of “haves” and “have-nots” or whether it will remain one cohesive group.
It feels like you’ve been going towards the former lately. I’d beg you to consider the upside of your position at this particular time, in this particular place, and see if you can smooth over some of those creased blogger brows.
What do you think?
Image by Billy Alexander. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ba1969
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Creased Blogger Brows… Great ending.
I think human nature inclines people to segregate in groups. I see it all the time. I fight with it every day but for example visiting this blog is priority for me because I always find something useful and I enjoy exchanging tweets with you throughout the week or sometimes day.
I guess like every network, structure, entity, or whatever you want to call it we as human beings tend to klump into groups and sometimes indirectly end up being judgmental on those that are not similar to us.
On my side I work every day to keep my feet on the ground and associate with those that have common interests with me and sometimes it is not easy.
Another thought provoking post Margie. Great job! Reason why I leave my daily tasks to take a peak as soon as I see an update.
You are probably right, Raul. It’s probably inevitable that things end up this way. But it feels like we have a moment here where things could maybe end up a bit differently, or where we could maybe delay the inevitable. I didn’t want the moment to pass without notice 🙂
I’m so glad you come over here so regularly. I hope you know how much I appreciate it and you!
Thank you Margie! Our company is new to the social media side of the market, so I certainly can relate to your post. While we have never felt unwelcome in these circles, your point is spot on as to the “haves” and “have nots” – there is a very visible difference with not too many in-betweeners. I must say, though, that I’m a huge believer in the idea that one should earn his/her way top the top – in the social media world that would be by paying-forward, bringing value to the space and playing “naked” as the term goes these days.
Your challenge to the elite influencers is valid, imo; there seems to be some responsibility to the space because the space has proven the catalyst for the celebrity status they enjoy. But there also must be a challenge to those of us who aspire to be more successful in our social businesses, whether blogging for dollars, selling products online or consulting in social media – we owe it to the space to work hard, be genuine and bring value to others as well. None of us deserves endorsement without proving ourselves at some level. As we get better at doing our part, we will develop our own networks of influence and possibly even approval from the rock stars. At that point, though, the rock stat approval is just a bonus – not a necessity.
I’m glad I found your blog – tweeted by a friend who is also among the “have nots” 🙂 I’ve subscribed now – thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Hi Chris,
Absolutely! Those who have not attained huge amounts of success here need to work for it, and I think sometimes A-listers get turned off by people who think they should just be able to jump to the top. Maybe I’ll write a letter to those folks too 🙂
But even a year ago when I first came online, it felt like people were more willing to help you out. That is how I “grew up” in the online world. Now, it feels like the gap is widening, and I’m not really sure why.
Thank you for your very wonderful comment!
This sentence really struck a nerve with me Margie, because it happens every single day: “On Twitter, I see so many of you converse with each other as if you are surrounded by imbeciles.” Isn’t it ironic that so-called A-listers reached that level by espousing the need to engage with people and build relationships, but they shun such engagement, except amongst themselves? They advocate being original, yet they spew out the same information (usually from their books) over and over again. I agree, it’s very frustrating.
What a powerful post–loved it!
Thanks Marianne.
I’m not really sure what people gain by talking on Twitter as if no one can hear them. “Oh, Oh, I just love it when people blah blah blah.” Um, we can see you…as you taught us we could…why not take your complaints (which may be completely legitimate, by the way) offline?
It’s frustrating primarily because I feel like these folks know better. I learned from a lot of them, after all. Bizarre.
Great post! I too have though odd about people using their space as a way to complain versus a place to influence in a positive way.
Thanks, Eric! Glad you liked it!
Hello Margie,
I thought it was just me following the wrong people. And that might be part of it. You’re right though. Although it is often a phenomenon of those who ‘make it’. They forget that they were once starting out and someone helped them. All of these people who are ‘successful’ are so because someone bigger than them continued to pay it forward.
The thing is, Margie, that the ‘imbeciles’ will find their success and will always remember how we were made to feel. I like to think of the scene in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts’ character goes back into the clothing boutique an tells the sales lady “Big Mistake! Huge Mistake!”.
And while those who should probably read this post, wont. Those of us who do are the community who built the A-Lister and we can take down as easily as we build. They underestimate our collective power.
Thank you Margie!
Sara
Hi Sara,
My desire is not to take anyone down. My desire is merely to remind the powerful that they have the ability and the opportunity to lift other people up. Yes, sometimes the pulls on their time and skills are a drag. I have no doubt of that. But there is so much more positive stuff to focus on, I’m sure. And so much more good feeling could spread if some of the “calling BS” BS would stop, you know?
Thanks for your comment!
Gosh, I have thought this so many times and vowed that if I am ever an A-Lister that I would do everything in my power to remember what it was like to be in the “beginner” category. I think of it as being a “have” and a “have not” – there is such a different experience once someone reaches the “have” space – it’s a time when you don’t have to feel “unwanted” or “awkward” anymore and can in some ways give others the hard time that you once felt like you had to “bite your tongue” over. We all have places in our lives where we’re “haves” – we “have” things like know-how, authority, choice – more of something than someone else.
Your message, Margie, is certainly an important reminder to me for my “have” places and for anyone who fits in the category of A-lister, I hope they remember enough of the beginning to appreciate the gentle reminder to be “responsible with their “A” status” – thanks for being brave enough to express it on behalf of all of us…
Thanks, Sam.
You’re right – these lessons apply to any walk of life, really. It’s not just a Social Media thing. Wherever you are in life, if you are a “have” (and we all are in some way) you should try at least on occasion to reach out to a have-not. It’s fulfilling. It’s gratifying. And well..it seems to me it’s the right thing to do!
I “unfollowed” a “celebrity” who preaches engagement but only with his posse. I tried repeatedly to interact with this person and realized they do not practice what they preach. So, I hit the “unfollow” button and my stream is a much happier place now.
Does this mean that I expect replies every time I tweet at an A-Lister? Certainly not. I know they are busy, however, you can’t have it both ways. Don’t preach one thing and do another. That is called being a hypocrite. 🙂 Nobody likes hypocrites.
Very nicely done Margie, as usual.
Great point, Nancy. This is certainly not saying that someone needs to make sure they reply to 36,000 mentions a day. Rather, it’s a plea to remember that so many people are seeing your tweets and reading your posts that you really are on show. What you choose to say and write can affect how all the rest of us will feel in the online world. That’s really important. It might be a bummer, but i suspect if you’re an A-lister there are other facets to your online experience that outweigh the negative, right? 🙂
“We are the music makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.”
I think Arthur O’Shaughnessy had it right in that we create the world as it exists. I’m not A-Lister, but when I started using social media, I had to decide to be the one who created my presence. It wasn’t about the A-Listers.
Not to mention: We helped them create their reality. The rift between A-Lister & newb is one that we facilitated. I’m not giving anyone an out, but when you start a community, it’s hard to hold on to every single connection.
The real key is a willingness to not be an A-Lister by taking a few folks under your wing who take folks under their wings…and so on.
Great post, Margie…We gotta all remember we’re in this together, and we’re the ones who move and shake.
I have a different definition of what an A-lister is. For me an A-lister isn’t the guy who has 100,000 subscribers to his blog and 50K Twitter followers. My A-listers are the peeps who have been with me since day one and support me day in, day out in my blogging efforts.
Which takes us to the question of where can we stop really engaging with people online when thousands are following, RT and commenting?
Some like Godin decided to be honest and close their comments, as well as avoid Twitter. Others as Nancy says preach engagement and community but show little action in both.
I don’t have an easy answer, but helping ‘digital babies’ is an essential trait in my A-lister definition.
I think that’s a great point, John, and that’s why I hesitated to even try to define A-lister here. It’s often based on perspective.
Helping “digital babies” is absolutely part of what I’m talking about. I guess I feel like a lot of people who are…let’s say…more experienced in the online world seem to be poking fun at new folks more than helping them, and that’s what I find particularly disconcerting.
Very interesting, Margie. I guess I’m not connected enough with the A-Listers to witness this phenomenon. I pretty much just use Twitter to engage with people who will engage with me. So I guess I filter out these people with creased brows. Thanks for being a good example of how people should behave on Twitter and elsewhere online.
There’s not really a reason to filter out the folks with the creased brows. A lot of people may be working based on misunderstandings that could be corrected (gently). That’s the thing – if there is more open and easy communication, it would be easier to iron out those creased brows 🙂
Thanks for your comment, Bobby!
Human nature. I’m going to dig into my HR experience to explain how I see this all.
You hear folks all the time talking about how they would do this differently or that differently if they were the boss, why the boss doing that is stupid, doesn’t make sense, etc. When you are not the boss, everything is easy. And somewhere along the line, the company promotes one of these employees to be the boss. “Things are going to be different around here,” she says. “I come from the rank-and-file and I know how they think, what they need, etc.” And for a few months, it goes well. But then the new boss has to make some tough choices that could involve firing one of their former co-workers, lay down the law, attend non-stop meetings. “Mary used to be such a nice person. Now, that she is the boss, she is a prick! I could do her job much better…..”
What these workers do not see and never will is the “boss” has to deal with a lot more tugging and pulling for her time and attention. She does not have the luxury of being able to grouse with her peers. HER peers now want her to fail so they get promoted faster. And it only gets worse when the further up the ladder you climb. It gets lonelier even as you are surrounded by more people and have “access” to a larger group.
How does this apply to social media? When you are a start-up, d-lister, whatever you call it, it is easy to say how you would change the world. And then you become an A-lister and the tug and pull on your time and attention is crushing. If social media has a downfall, it is that it does not have a “peer filter” that you instantly bang into that corrects the venting behavior early and swiftly. Nobody ever prepares you for the intense loneliness that becoming the boss (or A-lister) brings. And social media does not have bumper rails for those who cut their teeth of “fame” or influence on it. That may be why folks like Seth Godin or Guy Kawasaki are adept at managing fame in social media; they mastered it in the “really, real world” first.
The ship will correct itself.. or it will leave the A-listers behind. But the “really real world” rules still apply and probably always will. A-listers who figure out how to make that work online will succeed. The rest will be the has-been drunks in a bar on a Tuesday morning wondering where it all went wrong.
Rufus, This is an excellent perspective. Margie thanks for giving us a window into your thinking here…
At first, I spent a ton of time worrying, lamenting, and quietly deriding the so-called A-Listers. I tried my best to say something witty to get their attention, wrote posts about them, and tried to drop hints that they should pay more attention to me.
It didn’t work. I suspect that I was just another tweet that quickly got buried, overlooked, and ignored.
Then I realized something, their contribution to me was their weekly/daily blog posts, the constant stream of helpful resources they tweet, their willingness to spend an hour tweeting with people about their book, and so on. That’s the stuff they do for FREE, HOURS of free advice, content, and strategy that they don’t make a dime from. This engagement doesn’t pay mortgages, car bills, or send kids to school. So the time they spend on this stuff takes AWAY from the people they care about most.
The hard truth is that if I wanted something more then I needed to pay for it. I joined forums, joined newsletters, bought books, even promoted products that I found valuable and soon I had the ability to get the engagement I wanted. Sure, I would have wanted this for free. But, Is that really fair?
Another route is to BE a person that the A-Listers seek out. That means that you have to get on their radar with quality content. It means you have to meet them in person. It means that you proactively find ways to add value for their audience. I’ve done this too – and it works.
In the last few months I’ve started to get requests from people who have followed me and want me to repay them by offering hours of consulting for free. I understand where they are coming from (hell I’m still there) so I point them to blog posts that can help them. Some people are grateful, others imply that I’ve sold out and deserted them. So if I can’t satisfy everyone as a D-Lister, I can’t imagine the second-guessing the A-Listers are going through.
In the end, I’ve decided to just do my thing. Make Pushing Social the place to get the best blogging advice on the Web and let the chips fall where they may. This is the only way I know how to to sane.
@Stanford You are doing your own thing? Regardless of what I want you to do? You sell-out 🙂
Thanks for noticing and commenting on my comment. Those are the best kind. I’m kinda lucky in the social media space as I’m not competing in it, just participating. My observations and stuff is easy for me to give away because that is not my product. Nobody is beating down my door to have me speak about social media either so.. good with the bad.
I think the A-listers are kinda relieved when they meet me at conferences and realize I am not going to pick their brains, ask for favors or anything like that. A hug, a conversation about the use and misuse of water, an email exchange, a handshake.. . all their own reward.. Helps to be a dog too because when people know you are a dog on the Internet, they will follow you anywhere. .. almost.
Hi guys,
Great perspectives here and I really appreciate it!
Understand, I am not saying that A-listers should respond to every tweet, help every person who asks, or anything like that. I certainly can imagine the pressures that are on these folks to give give give. What I am talking about is the tendency some folks have to kind of close ranks on Twitter and talk out in the open about how dumb “some people” are. I’m talking about an ongoing downpour of blog posts that complain about the online world.
I totally understand what both of you are saying and they are all great points, but it’s a next-door neighbor to my real concern, which is that I think there are increasing amounts of people who like to deride the general masses online. That’s what I don’t think is healthy.
Does that make sense?
Yup! But I just assume they are talking about the PEOPLE of the general masses, not us tail-wagging dogs 🙂
I am such a D lister that I have no idea who the A-lister’s are. I am not aware what’s going on with those guys but I hope they watch out for Karma. Perhaps some of these A-listers could start a mentor program where they can assist the newbies. How can we better interact with them and let them know some of the frustration so they can be part of the solution?
Hi Jim,
As Rufus and Stan say, a lot of the A-listers *do* spend a lot of time helping people, but the problem is when they aren’t doing that, they complain about some of those same people. That’s what I think is kind of worrisome. You can’t write blog posts on the one hand about how much you want to help people and then turn around and say, “Ugh, people are dumb!”
Ya know?
Well, well, well. Quite the controversial message here. On the one hand, the comments you make are very valid; on the other, some of your commenters also make very valid points regarding time and management.
It’s a difficult thing to manage, garnering time for people the A list sees as having potential. Of course, we’d all love to see the numbers like, say the Pioneer Woman, or Microsoft, where they follow a handful (if any) but are followed by the thousands. The issue is who do you let in? We all know you can only give away so much, so what to do?
From someone who has spent probably WAY too much time on Twitter, I can say that it is time spent NOT producing the very thing they are following you for in the first place. Quite the quandry, isn’t it? I suppose at the end of the day, at least a shout out or the occasional conversation couldn’t hurt. Definitely something to chew on, though. 🙂
Thanks Brandon.
Time management, scaling – all of these are most certainly challenges in the online world. We all experience it – even at the moment we go from 0 followers to 50, or from 50 to 100. Every step means a little more work and a little less certainty about how you can prioritize without ticking people off.
But in the end we all talk about the fact that everything you say on twitter or on your blog can be visible to everyone. So why use that time, when you have more followers than most, maybe, to single out individuals or certain kinds of people and exclaim that they are idiots? It just makes that person look bad, at least to me.
Margie,
Excellent perspective, as usual. I am tempted to say “with great power comes great responsibility”, but the reality of the situation is…well…reality. Social media gives us an opportunity for a greater level of individual transparency then we’ve ever had. What people choose to share — A-List’er or otherwise — gives us more insight into what we can continue to expect from them. Warts and all. That they choose to publicly air petty grievances is, from my perspective, a choice they make that impacts how people will continue to perceive them.
Griping is in many respects human nature. Asking people to be anything more than human is asking a lot. The beauty of social media is it’s a self-policing system. Don’t like what someone has to say or how he/she treats others? Simple. Stop following. There are plenty of people out there with whom you can have substantial and valuable engagement.
My $0.02. YMMV.
-Alan
Fair point, Alan. But will lots and lots of people disengage from people who also help guide and teach? That’s where it gets complicated. It’s kind of like the Pied Piper of Hamlin leading the town’s children into a patch of poison ivy. When you are situated as a respected role model, people will want to stay near you, even if you aren’t acting your best. And in fact, some people may start mirroring your behavior so they can get on your radar. What we’ll end up with then is a bunch of bitterness that no one really finds very enjoyable. That’s what I don’t want to see happen. I think we all have better ways to use Social Media as it exists now.
Margie,
I admire your idealism…and don’t ever stop. Still, raising children, you realize the hardest part is letting them learn some of the harsh realities of life on their own. And it makes them stronger and wiser. As Disney-esque as Social Media can appear to be, we’re still dealing with people. Would you prefer manufactured positive engagement or real, transparent (and flawed) engagement? I’ll take the latter.
-Alan
Margie, yes….I don’t care who you are, what you do or how much people expect of you -whining in public is unattractive, unnecessary and immature. As a business person if an A-lister doesn’t like what s/he is getting in their email box or stream, either hire someone to filter it or get out of the game.
What other professional can go onto the floor of their business and exclaim – “These customers always WANTING STUFF are a PAIN IN MY ASS!”?
No one, that’s right. Super rude and a business killer.
Sure, we all have complaints about our job. Yes, we are all busy and swamped. When my phone started ringing off the hook I hired an assistant to answer it. . A-listers can do that, too. Fire up Skype and vent to your super famous buddy privately if you must. It’s ok – not every thought you have must be shared authentically with the rest of the world. And we all need to get our stresses out, so venting is ok in the right context and with the right people.
I had a conversation with an A-lister who shall remain nameless about this very thing. I told him straight to his face, “You built this, you asked for ‘engagement.’ If you don’t like it, unplug now. If it’s the way you want to make a living, figure out how to do engagement on your terms with grace, humility and gratefulness. Nobody likes a sore winner.”
What this is coming down to is a popularity contest – lists of who’s the most ‘influential’ is the newest thing. It becomes a clique. They all RT each other’s stuff. All the blogs start to sound the same. Then they start congratulating each other for being awesome. Suddenly I feel like I’m in a big echo chamber with everyone talking about the same people and the same thing all day long.
But the truth is, all that popularity does not a business make. If they have all these complaints, methinks all is not well in A-lister land. And this could very well be a “chicken-egg” scenario. Which came first, the whining or the slump in business? Hint: People don’t do business with whiners.
If someone is smart, nice, walks their talk,has something interesting to say and appreciative of my business – we’re going to get on fine. As soon as they start whining about the masses (of which I am a member) in front of my face, mocking the very thing they espouse – I’m done and the rest of us should have the self-respect to walk away from anyone who makes us feel badly about our place in social media.
*steps off soapbox*
(I am in rare form, today, aren’t I, Margie?) : )
Wow!
Looks like I hit a button with ya, lady 🙂
You should copy & paste this and make it a blog post on your site. I think yours is worded rather better than mine 🙂
Thanks for stopping by (and that’s the OTHER reason I leave the comments open!) 🙂
Well said. What, if any, reaction did you get when you confronted the unnamed A-lister?
Ahhh… this social media gig is a business?? Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it. I think the one thing “business virgins” never quite figure out is the incredible, exponential growth of the need for customer support. They don’t price their product for it, they don’t manage their time for it, they don’t build their business plan out for it. Easy to say, “we’ll just hire someone” but that is a whole lot harder that is sounds in some markets. Anyway, I could rant on forever about this, but I won’t other than to say when we consult on new brands, if they don’t have a plan for support and capital, we tell them to come back when they do. Not planning support is a quick death. (online forums don’t count)
Gotta give a ‘like’ to all the comments, esp. John, Nancy, Chris, Rufus, Stanford and Alan; mileage will indeed vary as will who we define and what we expect from an ‘A-lister.’
What hit me Margie was the last graph about the have’s and have-nots. “You were new once..” Word. I lurked a long time before I leapt, so that I could learn and even then.. I saw too many looking down their noses at anyone not blogging for years, anyone who hadn’t been on Twitter since the beginning. The ‘lambastings’ have increased; I’m w/ Nancy and ain’t afraid to use the unfollow button. The ceiling and a different time; see also, less competition in a more open field. Sorry but some of this ‘club exclusivity’ you mentioned, savors of wagon circling to me. It’s not limited to social media of course and I can’t blame anyone as some have jumped into this and are in fact doing it ‘wrong’ making it harder for the rest of us, on any list. Must also give you a hat tip for NOT pulling the namedrop or linkbait cards, not pot stirring and ‘BS calling’ just for the attention.. well played. FWIW.
Hey there,
Have seen you around the stream once in a while. After reading the article I can say you are frustrated by a few people and have been treated no so well too. Well I would like to point out that no one should be called an “A-Lister”. I bet you are an A Lister too. Theres no way to get to the status. Sure everyone was a beginner once but they get high up. It really depends on the person how they treat others. Other factor is why they really are in the game of SoMe. Some are there to have fun, while others come for financial gain. You can’t really point all people who talk too much and have a lotta followers and categorize them. It’s not like they are stopping you from doing anything. If they bother you, ignore them and keep going.
Just be you. See no one as a A Lister but as a human being. They all have their priories, and may get back to you when they wanna.
PS. I did get mad about the post being kinda a lotta whining but you had a disclaimer up. So yeah. Nice post 🙂
Hi Deep,
We had a great talk on Twitter and this adds to that. I definitely don’t consider myself an A-Lister and I strive to treat everyone the same, at least in terms of treating them as they treat me (that golden rule comes in awfully handy online). However, I guess what this post counters in part is the people who classify THEMSELVES as a-listers. If we are all about engaging on an equal plane, why does there seem to be such an exclusive, “members only” group? That’s what I find kind of disconcerting in the end, I suppose.
Thanks for your great comment!
What is the “members only” group you are referring to? I also totally agree that the post applies to the people who classify themselves A-Listers (aka Snobs) lol.
And I bet we all are in some kind of secret groups. Aren’t we?
I agree with so many of your points! I find it incredibly disappointing when “A-listers” preach engagement, but then almost never use that “@” reply button, or only do so if they’re talking to another verified account. I have to wonder, how did they get to be an A-lister?
I think a big message in this is that we all could stand to be a little more sensitive with each other. From one twitterer’s perspective, – if he or she is brand new and has 10 followers – YOU might seem huge. (You’re on your way to being huge for sure! LOL). Taking the time to talk to people, reply, and RT some good quality stuff now and then, well, those are just good twitter manners.
To be sure, there are some A-listers who don’t fit the description you’ve given above, but I’ve seen just exactly the behavior that you’re describing.
Great article Margie. Now I need coffee. Sorry for typos and grammar problems. I’m pre-first cup of the morning.
Hi Melody!
Very true. This is a perspective I hope I can hold with me for as long as I’m online. It seems like just yesterday that I was tweeting my heart out and getting no replies. Blogging my heart out and getting no reactions. I doubt i’ll ever lose track of how that felt or how discouraging that was, and I hope my reaction to that recollection will always be “Let me seek out people who might be going through the same thing.” That’s not a matter of scale – that’s just a matter of prioritizing a bit differently online.
Right?
Applause, applause Margie!
As a super new blogger, I must say that I was overwhelmed by the positive support that I received from my community on Twitter. These are my “A listers.” The folks who take the time to say hi and engage with me. Yes, there is an element of Twitterati that exists but we are all just people with keyboards and internet service.
I love your thoughts and thoroughly enjoy tweeting with you!
Peggy
I love that…Twiterati. You’re so funny 🙂
Thanks for the comment!
Margie,
One, I love how you bring about great conversations. Wish I had time to visit more often, which makes me wonder…how do A-listers have the time to visit everyone-I can’t!
I hear you about them looking at others with different sets of expectations. There does seem to be a cool kids party at times.
A colleagues of mine this week said Michele you find out fast after you have promoted someone on your radio show, blogs or chats when it is time for you to receive some reciprocity who are walking their talk or in it for themselves.
I made it a point to be highly engaging when I came on Twitter back in 2008. I have noticed having to evolve how I spend my time online as I balance the work load and talking with everyone-it can be dicey.
I am with Standford when it comes to looking at my own goals and who actively participates in being supportive of each other.
Loving Susan pointing out an echo chamber, because I have seen that with some group conversations which has made me step away, as well as look back at my goals for being online and focus on my objectives. (yeah, she actually does what she tells clients)
There is no win here, there will always be folks who do not like those who made it big.
There will always be folks who make it big and become asses.
There will always be something new you can point fingers at as the problem instead of asking yourself the tough questions and steering your own ship.
And Margie they will find out quickly we all notice who closes ranks and stick with the name calling.
Now, I will be first to hold my hand up and say I do whine about some of the stupidity I see online-my naive mind thinks sometimes pointing it out might bring a level of awareness to see some ask themselves , “do I do this and what is my objective when i do?”
I think, please correct me if I am wrong, you are meaning the bloggers who are constantly pointing out douchebags or other such finger pointing from their pedestal.
I learn a lot about “A-lister” when I meet them in person at conferences. One they are human, two some are incredible asses and third a few are really fun, kind sincere people. Guess who I spend my time with 😉
I am sure your wise words are quite true, Michele. There will always be something for everyone to complain about, unfortunately. I just feel like sometimes those of us who notice need to stick our toes out and say “woah.” 🙂
Great comment. Thank you so much for adding this great contribution to the conversation!
Hi Margie – hope I’m only fashionably late commenting on this 🙂
I would say there are really three distinct categories of people which are being touched on here. (Let the compulsive categorizing begin!).
1. People who are on social media but don’t respond to everyone and every request. Or they politely offer to do it for a fee. I have no problem with that. They need to make money, and as someone pointed out there are only so many hours in the day. I don’t think you were directly this discussion at them.
2. People who are on social media and when interacting with their “fellow A-Listers” make comments that appear inappropriate or condescending. If the comments are along the lines of , “Why don’t they listen to me?” or “Why am I doing all this stuff free because no one appreciates it.” I believe they are just frustrated. Frustrated because it seems like they aren’t helping people. However public conversations are not the place for it. A gentle reminder of this would probably work wonders.
3. Some of the people who appear inappropriate or condescending really are. They are simply not nice people. Just because someone is successful doesn’t make them a good person. Even if they pretended to be to get there. When I come across those people I politely disengage and move on. They are what they are, and I’d rather focus on positive relationships.
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