• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Margie ClaymanMargie Clayman

Marietta, OH

  • About Me
  • Marketing
  • Librarianship
  • Random Musings
  • Contact Me

On Closing Books

August 17, 2015 by Margie Clayman 5 Comments

 

16483954655_e04848b3ed_zOne of the great things about my friendship with Kaarina Dillabough is that we are not the types of friends who talk about what we did yesterday and which is better given the choice of chicken salad or tuna salad. No, we skip right past the “Hi how are ya” and delve into trivial things like how the universe got started and what is the difference between a friendship and an acquaintance. No small talk for us!

Recently we had a conversation about books, which seems simple enough. I was debating whether or not to invest time in reading a book that I thought would be good even though it was by an author whom I do not admire. Kaarina said I could always start reading and if I don’t like it, I could just close the book and move on.

“Oh no, not me,” I said. “I always keep reading to the end. I always think the book will get better.”

Then I realized my approach to books is exactly the same as my approach to people, or at least the same as my approach has been for years upon years. I tend to find myself in bad situations with people, and friends and family warn me that I am in a bad situation, but for some reason I keep sticking it out. I keep thinking the relationship will get better. I keep believing the person will change.

I’ll never know if Kaarina led me to this realization on purpose or not, but my bet is she probably did. She’s smart like that. She said that life is too short to spend time immersed in a book you aren’t enjoying. Similarly, life is too short to stay immersed in a relationship that is bad for you. Closing the book does not mean you have to burn the book. Leaving the relationship does not mean you have to hate the person. It can be as simple as pressing the covers together and saying, “This just isn’t for me.”

The author of the book, if you know him or her, may press you. “Why don’t you like it?” They may ask. A person whom you decide to exit from may also ask questions. They may not see how they are a bad match for you. You can be as blunt or as gentle as you wish. Normally getting into a conversation like that will only result in hurt on both sides, however. Sometimes it is better just to quietly slip the book on its shelf. Sometimes it is better just to quietly drift away over a period of time. It is not necessarily the kind of “instant gratification” closure for which we all lust, but it can be enough.

Do you have trouble closing books?

Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/akgypsy37/16483954655/ via Creative Commons

Filed Under: Musings

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. KDillabough says

    August 18, 2015 at 7:45 am

    My heart is happy:)

    Reply
  2. MarquitaHerald says

    August 18, 2015 at 7:56 am

    Having known Kaarina ‘virtually’ for a couple of years now I’m not surprised that she would get right to the heart of things. These days I have no problem closing books – but I earned that the hard way. For most of my life I hung on to things way too long – jobs, expired friendships, and a marriage that should by all rights have ended 10 years earlier than it did. It’s a liberating feeling getting to the point of being able to close a book and walk away.

    Reply
  3. KDillabough says

    August 18, 2015 at 7:58 am

    MarquitaHerald Hello my friend 🙂 Sometimes we do have to learn things the hard way, but the important thing is this: we do learn 🙂 Here’s to being able to know when to close a book:)

    Reply
  4. margieclayman says

    August 23, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    MarquitaHerald Yes indeed it is. Hard hard hard to get there, but liberating is a good word.

    Reply
  5. ghazaliya says

    February 18, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=34
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=37
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=36
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=38
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=41
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=42
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=54
    http://ghazaliya.com/press/?cat=126

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Post: « Book Review: Go Set A Watchman
Next Post: A Case Study in Racism »

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Book Review: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow
  • Book Review: Land of Lincoln, by Andrew Ferguson
  • The portrayal of the infertile woman in entertainment
  • Chapter 3: A Weird Thing Happened Today
  • Chapter 2: The First Fixings

Recent Comments

  • Delores Baskerville on Are you locking out blog subscribers?
  • frank c tripoli on Book Review: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow
  • Lyv on #30Thursday number 10 (we’re in the double digits?!?)
  • Fitoru on New Recipes, 2013
  • Anna Wyatt on Help me petition to deactivate driver-side airbags for Little People

Archives

  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • April 2017
  • October 2016
  • July 2016
  • April 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • February 2014
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • August 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2007
  • April 2007

Categories

  • Book Reviews
  • Crafts and Charity
  • Gardening for Renters
  • Marketing Talk
  • Molly Maggie McGuire
  • Musings
  • PassionPlayers
  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Footer

marjorie.clayman@gmail.com

   

Margie Clayman © 2021