Social Media is Broken For Me For Now
Not too long ago, I wrote a post about how I was going to try to reclaim my love of the online world after all of the ugliness surrounding the death of Trey Pennington in early September.
Although I hate to admit it, I am not having a whole ton of success.
Part of the issue is time. Social Media is like those spider webs Frodo gets caught in when he gets stuck in Shelob’s lair. The more you move around, the more tangled up you get. You get tangled up with people. You get tangled up with new platforms, then newer platforms. Writing for one site becomes writing for 27. Somehow. It seems like it all happens accidentally, and yet…
Part of the issue too though is that there has just been a steady marching parade of scenarios that have worn me down a bit. I have weathered a lot of it pretty well I think, like that person who co-created something with me writing a post about how stupid it was. That kind of stunk, but so it goes. Being bullied by someone and having people around you “lol” was kind of a bummer too.
But really, what I’m struggling most with is the death of Bruce Serven. Not necessarily his death, which would have been sad enough, but the manner of his death. See, Bruce had his Twitter account set up to tweet my posts whenever I’d publish them, so I would see his Twitter avatar every day. He’d comment quite often here on my blog. We’d chat. I promoted him as one of the top 60 men in the online world, in fact.
And then I found out that before taking his own life, this man who I saw on my little screen every day killed his son. His infant son.
I can’t say that I am mourning this as a friend would. But that’s the point. I can’t really picture Bruce without the sombrero he’s wearing in his Twitter avatar picture. I have no idea what he looked like over the last few months. What did his voice sound like? I promoted this person and viewed him as someone who might become a friend at some point, and I had no idea how broken he really was.
True, this can happen in offline relationships too. I get that. But this event made me realize that I need to back away a bit from the online world for awhile.
I will not leave the online world entirely. I’m not sure that’s entirely possible once you get started. You meet too many people you enjoy conversing with. But I will not be doing my weekly Tweetdiner chat for awhile, anyway. And I won’t be tweeting and blogging as much as your’re used to.
I hesitated writing this post because it can seem like such a “pay attention to me” thing. But really I just felt it would be irresponsible to just pull back with no warning.
I hope you can understand.
And thank you!
Image by Dave Edmonds. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/bluehor
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I wish I could come up with something that doesn’t sound so darn small minded. But well life happens, you either shape it or you allow it to shape you. Good people overcome bad things, I’m watching for you to bounce back.
@ToyotaEquipment Thanks Kyle. I hope I can.
Margie, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I totally respect your decision. I think we all know what you mean about the online world and the tangled web of social media. I’ve taken a step back at times, and I’ve seen many others do the same. You have to take care of yourself first!
@solete i could of have not said it better
@solete Thanks Anne. Well said, indeed.
Margie,
Your good intentions are well read by many and so many things you have accomplished are a good example of the effort you have put in!
I think the online world exposes us to many people we don’t get to know well which on the other side can help us detach if needed because the relationship was online only. The other part is where we end up reading more than we should from those that like to overshare!
The most important part is using this to help you with your personal and other goals. If you feel like you need to step away then do it. In my case many personal situations have me a bit disconnected over the last two months.
We love ha Margie and will be here waiting for when you feel more comfortable again with the online world. I too have positively about people who have dissapointed me but my intentiond where good it was their actions later in that made me change my mind on what I wrote.
@RaulColon Thanks Raul. Detach is a good word to use. Not unattach completely. Just detach. A tricky dance with great people like you around. Thank you.
Margie, I hear you. I agree with @solete . Take care of you first. But also know that there are so many f us who love you like family. You have created this amazing thing, many amazing things really. So much of what you do and say garners the respect and attention of so many people online… Please know that we are all hear for you, in whatever way you need us to be.
@Sean McGinnis@solete
I think that Margie can get so many reactions from awesome good quality people makes it another reason why we respect her decision but we are here for her.
@Sean McGinnis You are a gift, Sean. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
MC Media (I’ll keep the tag in storage),
Regarding Trey and Bruce, even the most rational among us has moments of extreme irrationality. When that irrationality is fueled by depression, irrevocable decisions are made and executed. It’s an awful perspective, but that’s what I got.
As to your sabbatical, many years ago as a synagogue youth director, I would tell my kids (especially the officers) “if it ain’t fun, stop doing it”. Not that I consider you a kid, but if it ain’t fun…
I will miss your insights but the world will still revolve. I look forward to your new perspective after a “vacation” and should you choose to remain solely in the brick and mortar world, I’m grateful for what I have learned from you.
Enjoy the time off, you’ve earned it.
@barryrsilver Thanks, Barry. We’re all kinds in one way or another, right? And wisdom is wisdom. Keep my special nickname shined up. I hope I can come back and claim it sometime soon.
Margie, while this saddens me, I perfectly understand. It saddens me for selfish reasons; I won’t get to see you and learn from you! like many of us have for over a year. but this is not about me, this is about you. You should be enjoying what you do. If you have lost that bit of joy, you will know it! You will know when is time to walk away.
Some of us are fortunate to have developed a friendship with you #beyond140; we know where to find you and stay in touch with you ~ and we will.
Take care Margie, until my next email:)
{hugs} Jeannette
@Jeannette Baer Thanks Jeannette. You know how to find me, indeed, and I’m glad of it. You are wonderful and I’m glad to know you.
Margie, everyone else has expressed a lot of how I feel. I have always been so impressed by your sensitivity and willingness to share with others. Like everyone else here, I too am saddened and will miss your wit, humor and common sense. In a way I see you as the conscience of the online community. I am glad you are taking care of yourself and I do hope some day you will be in a place where you feel you can become more active. I wish you all the very best. So grateful for your support and connection to Raul and others.
If there is ever anything I can do to help or support you I hope you will feel free to ask.
Best
Joe
@SMSJOE Joe, you are a treasure. Thank you.
People, unfortunately, simply aren’t who or what we believe they are. As sad and frustrating as that is, it’s simply an un-navigable chasm.
I am not sorry for Bruce. For the obvious reason that his decisions were destructive. I am, however, sorry to hear this is affecting you as it is.
Your friends, who I hope I can count myself among, are still here for you.
@ianmrountree Thanks Ian. You are wonderful, as always.
Margie, we hope you get through this, its always hard losing people, whether you know them in person or not. I hope you do return when you are ready, whether it be a week or a year, as your blog posts have been very insightful, and I can also pass along that the many people I have forwarded your posts to find them so as well. Hugs
@forfeng Thanks so much. That means a lot to me.
I recently started following your blog, and I really appreciate the real life sentiment in it. I am sorry that you have to struggle through this hard time, and I hope the break helps. I can relate, however, to the needing a break from social media. I work 70+ hours a week, and miss out on a lot of social activities with friends and family. I try to catch up with them over the internet, but lately it doesn’t feel quite real enough. I think we could all use a break from social media for a while–just a reality check to remind us of life outside of it. 🙂
@nikki.jaschinski Hi Nikki. Yeah, it’s good sometimes to see the world in more than a 1024×68 rectangle, huh? And maybe even to talk in more than 140 characters. Scary!! 🙂
Totally understand, but will miss you, Margie. I hope you find a way to come back comfortably.
@Neicolec Thanks Neicole. I hope so too.
Take care of yourself, Margie. And you already know that you can reach out to your cadre of real and cyber friends whenever you need to. We are but a heartbeat away…
martinamcgowan
@Doc_1martinamcgowan Thanks my dear. I really appreciate that.
margieclayman I think that there are actually two distinct issues that you are struggling with. The unrealized one, IMO, is social media fatigue / overwhelm. In your post you even talk about one blog becoming 27 and all the new playgrounds out there, like Google+ and Triberr. I think even if these other issues had not come up, you would be feeling burnt out. Taking a step back, saying No, and participating selectively should address this over time. Frankly I’ve wondered how you got it all done, and maybe that is just it. You got it done at the expense of your own well-being.
The second issue, the one at the top of your mind, is a very different one. Whether you’ve met someone online, through school, at work, through a charity or at church, you can be unpleasantly surprised by something they do or say. When I was in my late teens a murder took place in the UP. Everyone was shocked to discover the person responsible was a “upstanding citizen” who was well liked by those around him. I’m sorry to hear about your horrible and tragic experience. Unfortunately that can happen anywhere in life, and having met someone in person does not magically ensure you won’t be surprised later by his / her behavior. Some people are just poopy (to borrow a phrase from you). Don’t let them rob you of the ones who aren’t.
@NicoleFende you are filled with wisdom, Nicole. Thank you for this wonderful insight. I appreciate it and you.
You have been prolific. You started using SM shortly before me. And sometimes I wondered how you managed to keep up with all the commitments. I have sensed for a while something was wrong. Gradually you have withdrawn whether you realized it or not. I have seen that shine diminished. And to extent I have felt the same way. There is so much negativity, along with people who you trust and value letting you down gradually it eats away at the joy. Much as in offline life. You just cannot legislate for peoples behavior. I think you may indeed need some space Margie. But I hope you come back energised. I don’t think you should focus on trying to change the world all in one fell swoop. Life is just not like that as much as we wish and want to contribute there is only so much we can do without it having an effect on our health and well being. You are a talented and giving person. Look after yourself and know you are loved for who you are and what you represent. I know you helped me a great deal in the early days. Just don’t let everything get you down, take a break, regroup put things in perspective. There are always people in a worst a position than us. That may not be what you want to hear and I don’t want to preach or sound dismissive of your challenges. I am just telling it how I see it. But at the bottom I am always here for you. I know many other people will feel exactly the same way. I can’t wait for you to get back with your shine and strength. Take care Margie. Your friend.
Namaste
@Grit08 oh Kenny. You do have a way with words. Thank you, sir.
Hi Margie,
Social media is a black hole filled with people. Some are real, others are pretending to be real, and still others are evil incarnate. In real life, we can usually distinguish between the good, bad, and ugly because we have all of our senses participating. When we are online, we don’t have the same resources. The inability to differentiate between what’s real or not combined with the addictive pull of the channel makes it hard to keep from losing yourself.
Take the time you need so that you can come back on your terms. People who are genuine and care about you will be here for you. The rest don’t matter. My policy on social media participation is to do what works for me and my community. Period. Once I defined my policy, everything got easier and I stopped falling into the black hole.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need anything, I’m an email or phone call away.
D
@Debra_Ellis thanks Debra. I really appreciate it.
Margie, I am saddened to learn about Bruce. I did not know him, but often interacted with him on #blogchat and occasionally via other’s blogs and comments. He followed me for a while. Here is what I have come to understand about social media (I have mentioned or alluded to these feelings on your blog before): it is very anonymous. And this anonymity is what empowers people to write, comment, create profiles and even a persona that may have nothing to do with their real life. You might call it a social mask.
You and I have some mutual “on-line” friends. Right? But what do we really understand about their lives? Many talk of being introverts, many talk about how they suffer from social anxiety. And yet, they have wonderful sites, blogs, facebook pages, active Twitter accounts. They participate in chats and we assume they are enjoying a good life and have wonderful support systems in their life. Every once in a while you get hints that something is not quite right. Or at least I do. I have sometimes questioned people when I sensed something isn’t quite right, the responses have been interesting.
Depression is deadly. Most often when we ask someone “how are you” we really are hoping the answer is positive. We walk away from mental health problems. (Remember this year’s Tucson tragedy?) Mostly because we don’t understand and what we don’t understand frequently scares us.
Tomorrow I am traveling to Los Angeles to attend Blog World Expo. This will be my third time to attend Blog World. I hope to see a lot of people that I interact with, but like one person said to me, “Judy, how will I recognize you?” As you may know my twitter photo was taken in 1974. I referred her to my blog and told her to look at my avatars through the years! Margie, you are a generous person, generous with your time, committment and willingness to help others. I don’t know how you do it all. I am hopeful as a community we will pay attention to the little hints…and try to be of service. Take care of yourself. Judy
@JudyHelfand Thanks Judy. Have a great time at Blog World. Tell those mutual friends of ours I say hello 🙂
@margieclayman I will indeed. I am going to attend the live #blogchat and meet up with @mackcollier. I wish you could be there. Maybe next year we can plan to meet there. What do you say to that? It can be pretty reasonable if you register early and just do a 2 days pass…I am thinking of you and praying for those that have troubled lives. Judy
Dear Margie,
We both entered these social media platforms about the same date. I always noticed you were a kind person and you promoted others much more than yourself. These last months, I’ve seen your huge amount of blogposts and how you managed to achieve your own goals. You built a community around yourself and twittdinner. The good and the bads are always around us, in real life and even more online, where people still don’t know how to behave. You know, I had to take my own time too, to step back, to refresh my mind a little bit. And you know what? Nothing bad happened! I’m still taking my time, I don’t stay up till 3pm just to participate on an american chat and I don’t even tweet every day. Nothing bad happened consequently! In fact, I read much more than I write.
As to Steve, which I just heard about now, I’m sure you remember how the issue affects me. I understand it quite well. Feel free to talk.
Take your time. The good ones will be here, waiting for you, as long as it takes. And remember you promised you would tell me if you ever come to Madeira 😉 so, I keep waiting!
Love
Linda
@LindaMachado you’re a wonderful lady Linda. I’d love to come to Madeira some time 🙂 Thank you!
I know this feels “close to home” dear Margie. That is the paradox of social media. We seemingly get to know so many people. But even in face-to-face there are such conundrums. Social media is not, but your heart IS broken. This sensitivity is your strength and your source of pain in this matter.
This story is shocking, more so since we have tweeted with this man, but to shed a bit of light, we are all strangers on Twitter… some of us stranger than others.
Be safe. Be happy. And never change, dear Margie.
@KatCaverly You are a wise lady, m’dear. Thanks.
Well, if you are feeling that way then you should definitely back away. Social can be very, very consuming and there are plenty of webs to get tangled in.
I had an epiphany of sorts over the last few weeks myself. Over the last two weeks I have had events that have taken me offline for a good amount of that time. For the first time in a long time on Sunday night I went into my Reader and hit the ‘mark all as read’ button………..twice.
I was stressing trying to keep up w/ comments and the such and it hit me, if my blog is just a personal blog and I really have no direction, why am I even stressing out about all this.
Guess what? I lived and apparently so did social.
I do hope some time off will do you good because I do enjoy your ‘body of work’ even if it is on a limited basis.
Take care and know I will be thinking about you.
@bdorman264 Thanks, Bill. You’re the best.
Hi dear. You have a big heart and want so much for the people you care about. It’s a wonderful quality, and I hope you retain this altruism and optimism. It’s hard when confronted with the failings of human nature – sometimes the bad guys win. I think backing away is a good move. I wonder if we were ever meant to have quite so much information at our fingertips.
Hugs and I hope you don’t mind my linking (or not linking…) to this since it came to mind..
http://www.pbase.com/emmiegray/image/75756429
help from our friends…
love, Andrea
@AndreaDonahue Hey you. Yeah, I wonder about that a lot too. I often lament the fact that when I meet up with friends after a long while we can’t have that big “catch up” talk. We already know the big news as well as what we have been eating for the last 6 months. It seems less friendly, somehow.
Thank you very much 🙂
It ebbs and flows, Margie. My first real down period was 2008. Hang in there.
@geoffliving Thanks so much, Geoff. I’ve had dips before, but this seems different somehow. it’s not a matter of frustration, really. It’s just…the gold shine has worn off a bit, at least for now. Like not believing in Santa anymore 🙂
oh no, say it ain’t so… Santa still believes in you!
Margie – the very best thing you bring to the table is your genuineness. Being real is what so many people don’t do well on Social Media – and your most recent experience only highlights that reality. I know you will be better for a breather.
Please know your contribution to a safe, positive and improving world is already known and appreciated.
Take care, my friend.
Paul
@PaulKonrardy Thanks very much Paul. I really appreciate that!!
Margie, you will be missed but understand…. I always look forward to your blogs. Take Care. Tanya
@TanyaLavoie thanks, Tanya!
Margie ~ I saw your post over on FB this evening and thought I would come over to your blog and see what you’re up to…I’m sorry for your angst. You carry a burden because of your depth of soul and character. You want to save the world, or at least everyone who has touched yours. Sometimes, we do need to step back from it all, take a breather and cleanse our hearts and minds. You’re a special nugget, Margie. Be well. John
@JohnFeskorn Aw, thanks, John. I like being a special nugget, especially in the eyes of someone as cool as you!!
@margieclayman
My heart aches for you. I am so sorry that you have been dealing with this. You have a pulse on the various communities like no one else. You show and share your complete self to all – so willing to listen and help. I love your insight and no-nonsense way of telling a story. The way you weave Star Trek and Frodo into a blog and it all makes sense. I love what you have created with the social good series. The awareness for the Fugees. You started a fire in many of us.
It is unfortunate that we can never truly know the troubles of all the people that we interact with online or at the grocery store. Do take the time you need to get back to you and comfortable with the ‘social’ world again. You bring sunshine to the lives of so many do not cannot keep it from yourself.
Light & Love ~
Kelly
@Tribe2point0 What a lovely comment to leave, my dear Kelly. All I can really say is thank you to this, but it doesn’t cover it.
I want to send out my sincere and undying gratitude to all who commented here. You have shared such extraordinary wisdom, kindness, and friendship that it’s difficult to believe it was all here for me.
You have clarified for me, and reminded me, why the online world is special, but more than that, you have reminded me what I’m here to do, and you have reminded me that you’re helping me along.
I believe the answer for me is to pull back a bit from where I have been but to remain active, too. Because, to put it simply, I just can’t quite you all. And we have work to do.
With adoration,
me =)
Oh, Margie, I feel like I’ve seen this coming, but it still makes me incredibly sad. Selfishly, I hope that your absence is a temporary one, but I understand and respect your need to back away for a while.
I hope you know that you have been a beacon of light in social media, Margie, not only in your valiant efforts to shine that light on some of the darker bits of social media , but in the constancy of your belief in, and commitment to its–and our–positive potential.
As @SMSJOE said, your voice has often seemed like the conscience of the online community. I am more than a bit ashamed knowing that yours was sometimes the lone voice, even though you spoke for many of us. For me, that has been a personal call to action to add my supportive voice to yours, rather than silently nodding my head in agreement and admiration.
Take care of yourself my friend. Be well
Rusti
@Rusti-AnnBlanke@KDillabough Thanks ladies. I would say that my absence is over, but I am not going to be going back to the levels I was doing before. I’m still going to maintain a hiatus on TweetDiner and I will not blog or tweet as much as I have been over the last year or so. But I will be around. How could I not with folks like you around? 🙂
Margie, I am so, so very sorry. Words fail. Sentiments do not. My heart hurts for you, but please know that you are very loved and supported. We are here for you, whenever and always. Kaarina
@KDillabough thanks my dear. I appreciate that a great deal!
Margie, we love you we appreciate you….
@CouponDivaOne thank you. I’m a very lucky lady!!
that’s true…… 😀
Margie – you are a graceful soul and I wish nothing but the thing that gives your heart its singing voice.
@pbehnia you’re so sweet. Thank you!!
Margie,
Wow – I had no idea and and can only imagine how “close to home” this all must be. Although our interactions have been brief I’ve always felt a sense of connection with you as kindred spirits. As many have already said, I’m here if there’s anything you need and will continue to look forward to your tweets and insights. Take good care.
@GregOrtbach Thank you very much, Greg. This certainly has shown me and reminded me of the bright side of all of this. I have some amazing, kind, generous people in my community here. But it is a risk, is it not? Because Bruce was a part of that community too. So it goes in the offline world as well. I guess I’d feel the same way if someone I saw every day in passing in the real world did the same thing. It’s just a very odd sensation.
Thank you for your very kind words!!
I hope you come back sooner rather than later. Take all the time you need. I think that one of the hard parts is that we “know” people in many ways, and in other ways, they are still total strangers to us.
I know that you are certainly going to be missed, but if you do not feel up to it, don’t force yourself to do something just because others want you to.
@NancyD68 Well said, Nancy, well said indeed. We know the most intimate details about some people and yet we don’t know if they have brothers or sisters. Kind of crazy, that bit.
Thank you for your kindness, as always.
Totally understand, and in fact maybe it’s a good thing. I think a lot of us have gotten wrapped up in the whole thing, regardless if it actually does us any real good. You have my email, if you want or need anything just shout my way 🙂
@Tommyismyname Thanks Tommy. I appreciate that!
Sorry that this is happening; understand what you are doing. Hope you come back sooner than later. Come back when you are ready! You have my contact info, feel free to get in touch if you wish! {hugs}
@dabarlow Thanks Denise 🙂 I won’t be going away entirely, certainly. I just won’t be doing as much as I was doing before, at least for awhile.
Leo Buscaglia “I started my Love Class as a result of the suicide of one of my most talented students. She showed no sign of her despair. Then one day she took her life. I had to ask, “What’s the good of all our learning, knowing how to read and write and spell if no one ever teaches us the value of life, of our uniqueness, and personal dignity?” So I started my Love Class. I taught it free of salary and tuition just so students could have a forum to consider the truly essential things. I really didn’t “teach” the class. I facilitated it – helping the students to discover their own magic.”
I hope you find what you need and people give you time to do that.
Best wishes,Tom
@TomKostiuk What an interesting contribution. Thanks so much, Tom. I really appreciate that.
Margie ~ #YOUMATTER to me & to community! Always here for you! X
@jureklepic Thanks, sir, very much.
Thousands of people follow you. Thousands of people read your posts everyday – they also laugh, start businesses, give parties, love their children, rescue animals and give them loving homes, make fabulous food to share with family and others, save lives, create art, plant flowers, travel to wonderful places that inspire them, help someone across the street, write books, sing, find new jobs they love, give money to help others. Once in a while hard things happen and people do crazy, destructive things.
I hear that you have had some hard shocks and are taking time to take care of yourself. Please focus on the good, the constructive, the wellspring of well-being that moves all of us forward.
Your writing is so entertaining, thought provoking, and inspiring. Your voice is important in the world, and to all of us.
Love and peace to you,
Robin
@From This Perch Thanks, Robin. I know. It seems like I should just be able to continue on my merry way, and I’m sure I will bounce back at some point. This was all just a real punch to the gut and it just has taken me aback. I can’t really explain it…it is like the online world was a muppet show and now I can see all of the strings. Does that make any sense?
Margie, you will be greatly missed. You write and interact in such a genuine way that I am inspired whenever I read your posts. It sounds like you have been through a lot and I wish I could reach through the digital atmosphere and give you a huge hug. You have such an empathic heart and strong voice, you teach us all a lot about humanity. I hope you find the peace and meaning that you need, and when you choose to tweet or blog, we’ll be listening. xoxo
@pamelamaeross Thanks so much, lady. I really appreciate that.
Please do check back often! I’m sure thousands out there (myself included) will be missing your posts and company. You’ve become an inspiration and friend to many and I don’t want you missinggg!
@janwong Don’t worry, I’m not wandering off too far 🙂 I’m just pulling back a bit from what I normally have been doing. Thank you!!
[…] and talents are appreciated. If you are touching someone with your work I would rather have a little bit of you rather than nothing at all. Show of hands, please Where are you in this cycle? Are you just going […]
So sorry to read about your loss and I appreciate the warning about your pull back (though I’m a little late getting this). I really don’t have much more to add, nothing that could comfort you though I can share words of understanding. I know the time pressures, I relate to the pull of wanting to read and engage all day if life and work and the laundry didn’t get in the way. You’ll be missed. FWIW.
@3HatsComm thanks Davina. Yeah, if only there were more hours in the day. But I still wouldn’t want to do laundry 🙂
Margie,
I’m sorry for the angst hoving around you. Your unique voice comes through with bell-like clarity and purity. Your tone and topics are challenging to categorize, but all the more fascinating for that. I suspect the world–and your online world–will be here when you’re ready.
Best wishes….Ken
@ken_rosen Thanks so much, Ken. Like I said, I’m not going away…just pulling back a bit. For now 🙂 I appreciate your kind words.
Margie,
This is so tragic. I just read about this in a post that came out today and they referred back to your post. I have been busy writing a book and having fun doing so and didn’t realize you were suffering and all of Bruce’s friends. I can’t stress enough to you Margie that depression was the culprit in this terrible act, not your friend. Depression is a nasty, vicious beast that can overtake the mind and soul and shatter the worlds of those it touches. Please do not despair. There is much good in the online and offline world, though the nasties have been after you lately dear one. Please let me be a comfort to you and a better friend. I would email, skype or phone you if you felt like it. You are such a wonderful gift to us all @margieclayman and I hope you will be back soon. Please call on me if you want to discuss this. I am intimate with this nasty foe depression. Love and hope to you, Libby
@libbytalks Thanks Libby. I understand on some level that it was the monster of depression and not this fellow. But there was a lot even in the article you read that I didn’t know. I didn’t know he had been unemployed for most of the time I “knew” him. I didn’t know how hard his times really had gotten. That is hard to swallow since I saw his face, or a version of it, every day. Since he took time out of all of that to be kind to me. Should I have done more? I don’t know. It is a lot to digest still, almost a month later.
Thank you very much for your kind words. I really do appreciate the outpouring of love and support i have received here. It is not what I expected with this post!
Margie, if you quit the online world it will be a darker place.
However, I get your point and believe you are on to something. Maybe we all need a break together. I’m getting tired of it too…
Bruce’s story is just so sad. Trey’s story is sad. The untold stories are sad.
Thanks for always doing your best to be cheery. Even though I wasn’t able to be as supportive to you as you deserved, I want you to know that I appreciate and deeply respect the way you always went about things. You did your best. It showed.
Hopefully you’ll learn to love the online world again. Maybe we’ll meet in person. Either way, I want you to know that you’re appreciated.
Aaron
Margie,
I came across this post while looking for information about Bruce Serven’s death. Like you, I knew him online. I started following his livejournal blog back in 2008 or so. We used to flirt back and forth before he started dating Dawn. I followed his blog through their dating and marriage, through the birth of their son. We used to email each other from time to time. He helped me out with some personal stuff back in 2010. And then, I fell off the livejournal frame. I stopped following FB so heavily. I didn’t really engage myself in a lot of social media, mostly because of other life stuff getting in the way. And it wasn’t until today, just passing through Facebook, that I saw Dawn’s comment about her son’s death.
Like you, I don’t really know what to say. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard about tragedy through the relationships I’ve formed online. I’m not sure how to comfort Dawn, or if I even have the right. I’m perplexed by Bruce’s actions. I’m just so shocked and surprised. I’m not really sure what else to feel.
I hope that now, a few months later, things are alright with you. I don’t follow you online, but maybe we share a peculiar sort of connection.
-Allison-
@ataventure I am so sorry for your loss, Allison. It sounds like you knew Bruce a lot better than I ever did. I still think about him often. It impacts me every day in how I deal with people who seem like they might be going through a hard time. I feel I missed a chance to lighten his load a little, and that still bothers me on a regular basis.
Thank you for commenting. Hugs to you.
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