A week ago, I announced that I was going to be backing away from social media a bit. Not entirely, but certainly not doing as much as I have done for the last year and a half. The reaction to my sentiments has been entirely surprising to me. Not only have people been so kind and understanding and supportive, but many have said something along the lines of, “I know where you’re coming from.” In fact, that sentiment lies at the core of a brilliant blog post that my friend Tommy Walker wrote for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette about the dangers of online entrepreneurship. Now that I think about it, you should probably go read that post, then come back here. It’s okay. I’ll wait for ya.
I’ve been trying to think of a way to encapsulate what so many of you have said. What Tommy said. And what I have been feeling. Suddenly, it hit me right upside the head. The story of Pinocchio is the perfect way to explain the feelings many have about the online world these days.
You’re skeptical, aren’t you? Well, bear with me here.
The wooden toy
As you probably know, the beginning of Pinocchio’s story begins mundanely enough. He is a little wooden puppet sitting on a shelf. He doesn’t have a personality, he can’t talk or think or feel or do anything, right?
Well, that’s kind of how we all start out in the online world. We are very stiff and we don’t have our voices yet. We sit there and wait for people to talk to us, maybe. We try to look the right way or sound the right way, but we’re just not sure of what we’re supposed to do.
Now, luckily for Pinocchio, Gepetto, the man who crafted him, wishes on a falling star. He wishes that his little wooden puppet can turn into a real boy that he can love like a son. Like in all good stories, a wish upon a star has no option other than to come true, but it doesn’t quite come true all the way. Pinocchio is able to walk and talk, but he still looks like a wooden puppet. The Blue Fairy and the amazing Jimney Cricket arrive and inform Pinocchio that he must prove his worth in order to become the real boy that Gepetto is wishing for.
As we stick around in the online world, we also wish to become “real” somehow, but in the meantime, we learn how to walk the walk and talk the talk. We may meet people who are our Jimney Crickets, and we are always hoping for that magical Blue Fairy who can swoop down and make things easier for us. But even the Blue Fairy cannot make Pinocchio into a real boy. He needs to do that himself. Similarly, hoping that a big name or a person with a lot of followers can swoop down and take you where you want to go doesn’t really work. They can offer you advice and help you out, but in order to reach your ultimate goals, whatever those may be, you need to do the real hard work yourself.
More money than you can shake a stick at
Along his path of becoming a real boy Pinocchio encounters unsavory characters who tell him that if he acts in a show, he can make more money than he could ever imagine. They are nice to Pinocchio, and despite Jimney’s warnings, Pinocchio considers the evil fellows friends. After all, one has the name “Honest John” and they both are promising him that his life will get better. The promise of money is enough to distract Pinocchio from his ultimate goal, and he pays a hefty price for this diversion. I mean, heck, he ends up turning into a donkey (otherwise known in some circles as a jack-ass).
In the online world, there are all kinds of diversions and distractions. If you are here to network, the promise of making a ton of money with a great deal of ease can be enough to pull you off your trail. If you are here to build your business, the people who say you can become an “influencer” may be enough to take you off course. Along the way, you follow people whom you assume have your best interests at heart. They may have titles like “guru” or they may seem really kind and friendly. You can also pay dire consequences for these distractions, however. Failing to promote your business whilst promoting only yourself can result in your business failing. Failing to remember the people in your community as you start to make money can lose you your credibility and your friends. The Blue Fairy and Jimney Cricket can only chase after you and remind you of your ultimate goals. They cannot control what you say and do.
Proving Your Worth
For Pinocchio, earning a real life is accomplished when he willingly sacrifices his own life to save Gepetto. He doesn’t know that doing this will make all of his dreams come true. He just knows at that moment that he wants to save the man who is his father.
As you work here in the online world, how can you earn that ultimate goal you are seeking? Do you remember what you are trying to accomplish here? Do you remember the path you started on?
Remember, Pinocchio’s nose doesn’t grow longer when others know that he has lied to them. It grows longer when he knows that he is lying to others. Have you been deceiving yourself in the face of this social media power? Is your nose longer than it used to be?
It is never too late to revisit where you started from and where you want to end up. Distractions and mistakes can be forgiven and easily fixed, but they need to be identified first. It is time to take this initiative. The Blue Fairy and your friend Jimney Cricket cannot make this happen for you. Dreams really do come true, but you must work for them.
It’s time to become real, don’t you think?
1st Image by Bjorn de Leeuw. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/nr49
2nd Image by Lynn Cummings. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lynnc
Excellent post Margie.
Welcome back.
Remember who you are, and remember why you came. 🙂
martinamcgowan
@Doc_1 Good advice as always, Martina 🙂
@margieclayman
Here, I am exposed to and learn from the best.
martinamcgowan
I think that is a good way to describe it and create a bit of awareness.
What a better example than Pinochio?
Great job once again! Glad you are still producing content I can learn from!
@rj_c thanks sir. I appreciate that!
Pinocchio is a wonderful metaphor for our journey of self-discovery and re-discovery, growing up, and becoming more truly ourselves. The online adventure, which started for some in the 90s and for others it has just begun, is replete with wonder, terror, imagination, risk, and, yes, even maps that promise undiscovered pirate’s treasure.
Like Pinocchio, we are all in search of our humanity, our destiny, and home. We are all tempted by tales of pirate treasure told by the puppet master (aka authoritarian capitalist). And I have wondered sometimes if the Internet is just a little too much like Paradise Island at times. Making us all into stubborn, noisy beasts of burden. Asses, in other words.
In the story of Pinocchio, the road home is through the belly of the beast – just as it is for the Prophet Jonah. So I too must wonder if you are going nowhere, if you have come to the end of social media’s dead end street, and you find yourself in a seemingly endless dark night, is it because you refuse to accept your humanity, your destiny, and home-coming?
@Faryna that’s an awful lot to think about. I had not thought about the parallels between Pinocchio and Jonah, but that’s very interesting. Maybe in all facets of life you need to pass through a beast of one kind or another. I’m not sure it’s a matter of losing your humanity. I think it’s just a matter of wanting to keep on fighting. Is that the same thing? Maybe so.
@Faryna Stan, you know how much I love your line “we are all in search of our humanity, our destiny and home.” It is so moving.
Thanks.
I was laid off from my job after close to 15 years of service. It was a brutal Sept and Oct and now I’m in the process of taking a part time business full time. I’m lucky that my family, friends and people in my community have been supportive. One person in particular (from government support services) has been extremely helpful.
It’s hard starting over and at first you think everyone will and should help you after the injustice you suffered. But you soon see that friends pause, they sympathize, they give you a drink of water, dust you off and then you have to move on. Everyone has problems and issues like you do and you need to collect yourself and move forward. If you do have depression then your answer has to be a professional in your community not on line help.
I’ve learned a lot being online. There have been people who started out with great help but you soon see it’s just a sales pitch. Too many quick fix people with promises that can’t be true. A business is hard work, planning, networking, on line and in person. However the online world has people who do return your questions with real helpful answers. There are no strings attached and I appreciate those people and hope I can do the same for others down the road.
@TomKostiuk I like your phrase “no strings attached.” Quite apropos given my topic 🙂
You are right. A lot of people seem like they are interested in helping you and then you have to discover that they are only hoping to reap the benefits of making you stronger. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but it can come in the online or offline worlds.
In the end, even if you have all of the support in the world, you need to do the walking and the grunt work to make your dreams come true. I mean, heck, if Jimney Cricket wasn’t enough to help Pinocchio, we’re all in trouble! 🙂
This makes me think: the online and offline worlds are no different and what we struggle with today in knowing ourselves and in deciding who to trust are the same themes that were true over 125 years ago when the book, Pinnochio, was written. Social media is NOTHING new. People are people. I am stumped when I hear folks lament the ills of social media. Turn on the news, listen to the radio, open your mail, walk down your street. It’s all there –the good, the bad and the ugly. People get sick, make bad decisions, hurt children in locker rooms and then no one tells authorities. I wrote a post related to what you wrote previously, Margie, and Tommy’s post as well. It’s here: http://realtruework.com/is-social-media-bad-for-your-mental-health/ and based on my experiences as a psychologist. People are people are people-online, offline, in your neighborhood. Social media has no magic or protective coating and honesty was never promised to any of us in this space.
@susangiurleo Well said as always, Susan. It’s interesting isn’t it, that when we start in the online world the power of the place seems to hold unbound promises. Where does that come from? I certainly had a very very different view of the whole thing about a year ago. It’s strange to think about!
Let’s hear a hell yeah…….that’s southern for yes BTW……….:)
What got me into social was almost my downfall. Gini was my first real ‘interactive’ connection and when I jumped into her place I thought that was the norm. I tried to see all the right people, be at all the right places, hope that the right people acknowledged me. It was a unhealthy and unrealistic path I was on.
It took me awhile, but as soon as I figured out this was my gig and whatever did or did not happen was going to happen because of me, not who I knew or was hanging around with. They all have their own path to blaze.
I am in a very comfortable place right now and happy with where I am. I also hope you find that place too because you are one of my favorite online people. You are smart, creative and short……….er, uh I mean funny……….:). I had to throw that in after your ‘cheese cutting’ story………….:). You can call me fat and pasty……..
I enjoy coming here and I like having you around; let’s find a way to make it work for both of us, ok?
@bdorman264 So are you saying Gini isn’t the Blue Fairy? 😀
Thanks, Bill. You are one of my faves as well!! 🙂
@margieclayman@bdorman264 Ditto what Margie said:)
Margie, when I went and read the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette pieces, my heart simply broke. When the mind cannot fathom the desperation someone must be feeling to do such a thing, it’s like a visceral howl. I had a dear friend…someone who was like a daughter to me…kill herself almost two years ago (March), leaving behind two daughters aged 5 and 6. I was to go see her to celebrate her 38th birthday the day after she decided to take her own life. It haunts me to this day. Even more so because I was but ten minutes away when she made the decision. I received the call at 8:30 in the morning, and I still recall the numbness that came over me. Life is never the same after experiencing this type of loss.
What else to say? We each need to be kind to ourselves. Love ourselves first and foremost, and those around us equally. It’s been said that someone who decides to take their life has issues that none of us could “prevent” tragedy from occurring. And although I know this is true at a logical level, my heart still hurts.
Dreams do come true, but you must decide to make them happen, and then do the things necessary to make them happen. To deciding, doing and keeping it real. Fondly, Kaarina