Things I’d love to complain about

Have you ever heard the saying, “One man’s blessing is another man’s curse?” Boy, you sure do experience that on a daily basis in the world of Social Media. I was reading a post that Beth Harte and Geoff Livingston wrote called The meme to end all memes (check it out) and it really made me realize that some of the stuff people complain about online is kind of, well, funny. Now, I am taking a risk by writing this post, of course. If I ever make serious gripes about these things, you’ll be able to throw this post in my face (if you remember I made it). However, I am so certain that these are problems I would LOVE to have that I’m going to motor on ahead.

1. I have so many people following me that I just can’t keep track. Okay, now, I know that there is some level of annoyance there, but in the time it takes to post something like that, you could easily wipe out at least 27 spam bots. It can become like a video game. Remember the old game “Bonk”, where little heads would pop up at a faster and faster pace and you’d have to try to hammer them down?

2. So many people ask me questions, it’s like, I can’t ask myself deep questions now. Personally, I love answering questions. I wanted to be a reference librarian for a really long time. So here’s my deal. Any questions you don’t feel like answering, you send on over to me. I’ll charge $5 for every question I answer on your behalf. Being a Liberal Arts major, I can and will answer any question. It might not be the right answer, but it will satiate the person’s desire to be heard.

3. I have to sign copies of my book so much my hand hurts. I haven’t *really* seen this one, but I bet people say it. I charge only $3 to fake your autograph for people.

4. Why do people not tweet exactly like I do? I’m perpetually amazed at people who nitpick about how other people tweet. I have some filing to do. It will distract you. I promise.

5. It’s so hard to get working today in my cozy pajamas. I just really want to beat these people up sometimes. I’ll be honest. And that’s coming from a Pacifist. I can’t even squish an ant, but I want to beat these people up. Get up at 5:30 and be scraping ice off your car by 6:30 so you can get to your office early. Fully clothed.

6. I get so many books to review, it’s like, totally dude. I would imagine, on the one hand, that this could be a lot of pressure. You have to read books that people give you and review them, and people care what you think. Wait, what’s the problem?

7. I was going to work more but my spouse made a great dinner, so I have to go. No, I kind of want to beat these people up too. Again…Pacifist. Quakers in family history.

8. I achieved all of my dreams and it’s like, what do I have to look forward to now? Retirement? Living? Not tweeting in my stream anymore? Lots of stuff ahead of you. For real.

9. I am in so much demand. *sigh* I want to say something right here. If I ever get frowny because people want my charismatic, knowledgeable little self all the time, which is what one would assume I would have been working for in order to get there, you can write a blog post about how much I have let you down.

10. I am too nice for my own good. Clearly, based on this post, I won’t have to worry about that for quite awhile.

Of course, there are downsides to everything. I’m not debating that. But really look at the stuff you complain about. Are you sure you’re looking at it the way you would have looked at it 5 years ago? Ten years ago? Nothing is perfect. Nothing ends up exactly as we want it, maybe. But a lot of things in life are really good and we end up missing them because somewhere along the way, being angstful became trendy. I think it had to do with Seattle and flannel shirts.

Be happy about what you have right now. Take a break from lamentation. The glass is more full than you might think.