What kind of star are you?
Not too long ago, I wrote a post for someone’s site as a guest post. After a bit of a slow start, the post really started taking off, and it was really exciting. Then something interesting happened. A big name, someone who I don’t interact with a whole lot, retweeted the post, but they tweeted it out as being written by the person on whose site I was a guest. They didn’t say it was by me. It kind of made me pause, because, I’ll be 100% honest with you, it kind of bummed me out for a minute. I had done something good enough to get this person’s attention, but I wasn’t *technically* given credit for it.
I’ve been thinking about that pinpoint of a moment a lot over the last couple of months. I’ve been trying to figure out what gave me pause at that moment, whether I really should have considered that a let-down. I have come to realize that no, I should not have been disappointed at all. There are just different ways to have success online. The movie Galaxy Quest can help me illustrate this better.
Tim Allen and Alan Rickman as Social Media Stars
So, if you haven’t seen Galaxy Quest, the movie is about a washed up cast from a show called Galaxy Quest. They get drawn into a real life alien war, all of which is based around the fact that their show had been picked up by the aliens and had been identified as “historical documents.”
Tim Allen had starred as the captain on the show, and as an actor, he is still holding on to the relics of his stardom. He combs his hair the same way, really gets into conventions, and always says his tag line, “Never give up, never surrender!”
Now Alan Rickman’s character is quite different. He plays an actor who had always been reluctant to get involved in the sci-fi scene. On the Galaxy Quest show, he played an alien who had another famous catch phrase, but Rickman’s character views the whole convention and autograph signing thing as an offense to his Shakespearean background. Despite that, he clearly harbors a great deal of jealousy against Tim Allen’s character. By the way, here’s a clip that illustrates a lot of this.
You’ve probably met people like both of these characters in the online world.
The problem with being like Alan Rickman’s character
Throughout the movie, Alan Rickman’s character remains fixated on the fact that he never gets all of the credit, he never gets to be the hero, and in contrast, the captain always gets those things. If he had looked carefully, Sir Alexander Dane/Dr. Lazarus would have noticed that actually, he was a hero to a lot of people, just not in the same way that Tim Allen’s character was.
I think a lot of people fall into this same trap when it comes to Social Media. I mean, let’s be honest here. Have any of the following thoughts ever run through your head?
• Why does that person get so many blog comments? I write so much better than they do!
• Why does that person have 3 times as many Twitter followers as me? I mean, really?!?
• Why is that person always invited to speak at conventions? Blegh. They seem so full of themselves!
OK, well, you don’t have to admit to any of these sentiments here, but let’s say, um, one of your friends has had any of those thoughts. This line of thinking can get in the way of you engaging because you are so jealous of anyone who has more success than you. Maybe we could tell “your friend” that there are all kinds of different ways success can appear in this here online world. You just have to be willing to look for them.
I don’t want to be the next so and so. I want to be the first me.
I worry that a lot of people coming into the Social Media world right now are saying things like, “I want to be the next [enter big name here.]” In order to engage successfully, and in order to be happy with where you are and where you’ll end up, you need to define what your own star is going to look like. You need to define what kinds of successes will help build that star power for you. Here are some ideas.
• You don’t get a ton of comments, but the ones you get are unfailingly positive and supportive
• You don’t have the most followers, but the ones you do have would fall on a sword for you
Are these not all great things? They are all achievable too if you pass up the jealousy train and concentrate on engaging with people in meaningful, positive ways.
Back to my moment of bumdom
In reflecting back upon my “Hmm” moment, I have come to understand that in fact there was no reason at all to be disappointed. I’m not like Tim Allen’s character, all caught up in the glitz and glamor. I don’t want to be like Alan Rickman’s character, all bitter because “so and so has more…” Whether or not that big name knew the post was by me, I knew it was by me. I knew it was good enough to warrant their attention. And you know what, that’s good enough for me.
What’s good enough for you? How are you defining your stardom? Because you are a star, after all. You just need to let yourself shine.
This is post number 10 in The Engagement Series. I hope you find it useful!
1st Image by Alex Bruda. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/alexbruda
2nd image by Zsuzsanna Kilian. http://www.sxc.hu/profile/nkzs
23 Comments
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This reminds me of the Star Fish Thrower. Thousands of star fish wash up on the beach. A man notice a little girl throwing a star fish back one by one. The man said:” why do you bother there are so many-it won’t make a difference” The little girl picked a a star fish and threw it back out to sea. She said:”To that one it made a difference” Anyway I am sure you know the story. Each time you post a blog you are out there. You make a difference to people. The big name might have had a staff person do the work. In your heart you know you made a difference to your followers . They follow you for who you are.
Thanks so much for sharing the Starfish ThrowerStory. Brings such a beautiul perspective to the difference each small action has on someone’s life. Gave me some much needed clarity. Merci beaucoup!
I love that story, and it comes in handy in so many instances. So entirely apropos here, Gloria. Thank you!!
I will stand by this forever—I have always said that if anything I do touches only one person, then I am a success. Of course, I would love to have some of the numbers I have seen around on blogs and Twitter, but at the end of the day, when someone I do not recognize makes a comment, tweets, or follows me somewhere? Great day. I could couldn’t care less where they came from. They found me.
Exactly.
When I first started on Twitter, I longed for the days when a big name would follow me. Now, when someone who is really trying to figure things out finds me and they have very few followers – that’s when I get super excited 🙂
Hi Margie,
Wonderful post. I think I may have done this before – retweeting a guest post without citing the actual author’s name. Here is one challenge that I have found with the whole guest post thing – not every guest post is accompanied by a relevant Twitter handle. Is this a lame excuse, maybe, but think about the many readers that drop by a site.
So many of us are quickly scanning through our daily feeds. I don’t know what other people’s RSS feeds look like, but I typically have 100 or more feeds to scan through. As I scan, I open and read those that catch my attention. The ones that really stand out get added to my Instapaper list for follow up and then are tweeted.
In my haste, crediting guest hosts can get overlooked. It all comes back to the quality vs. quantity issue. I have been working on this though. I ended up separating my RSS feeds into two different folders. One is for news and can be quickly scanned. The other is for the amazing people I am running into through social media. These posts get carefully scanned and I am much more careful when tweeting them out.
@jwsokol
Very good point. There are all kinds of reasons why a name might not be properly credited. Sometimes when you guest post the post shows up as by the website’s owner. Now that’s really confusing!
I wouldn’t make people so paranoid that they never tweet out posts. I only told that story because for me, it made me evaluate what my priorities were, and I came out smarter (I think) for it 🙂
Thanks for your comment!
You’re my star Margie, just great content, well written and fun 😉
Cathy
You’re so sweet 🙂 Thank you!
Great post!! This really gets the pondering going…who am I? How do I want to impact others? At the end of the year, what would I want my connections (family, friends, internet pals) to say about me? I hope I want to portray the qualities I seek in others. I do believe if we focus on what our passion is, the rest will follow–and along the way we might slump into unproductive thoughts, but we learn and grow while traveling down the path…
And in this case, as in many others, quality is more important than quantity!
Blessings on your day, Margie!!
So glad to hear you liked the post, Liz. That’s what I aim for here!
And well said – quality, not quantity. Something you don’t hear a whole lot about in the online world, but it’s my compass, at any rate 🙂
Because really, Tony Shaloub was the winner in Galaxy Quest. He believed he wasn’t worth anything, and ended up being instrumental.
Keep this up, Margie, this is fantastic. 🙂
Margie,
I don’t think you can doubt I am one of your most enthusiastic supporters. I comment on your blog more than any other, I have exchanged emails. I attend the chats you attend. Why!. The simple reason. I recognized early on you are one of the people trying to be as honest and authentic as you can be in this space. You helped me a lot in the early days just by being supportive. I will never forget the support I received from you.
However this has to be a first for me. I don’t agree with your analysis. Whilst I accept the positive way you responded. As ever you focused on what lessons may be relevant to others and how to enrich your readers lives.
Firstly it does not matter if that person is President Obama or me. Credit should always be given no matter what. There is no excuse barring an honest mistake. Presumably the person you are talking about spent time to read the article before it was tweeted. Presumably the person who put your post on his site did so because he thought it was good. You earned your right to take the credit. They earned the right to drive more traffic to his already successful site.
I like a lot of A-List bloggers I value what they say and I follow a lot of there advice. And I know they would not condone that type of behavior unless it was a mistake. So I am going to reserve passing judgement. But I have to make the point that you deserve it. You put the work and should get the credit. And if it was a deliberate action then it shows a lot of integrity and values. You are a “Star” and eventually you will get the benefits for all the hard work. Have a great day.
Kenny
Phew, you had me worried there!!! 🙂
I don’t think the person did it maliciously. Since the name of the post was given people would have been able to figure out it was by me. It’s not like I was bad-mouthed or anything. It just caused a moment of introspection.
I appreciate your support, Kenny, and I adore you for getting so upset about a perceived offense against me. It’s all good! 🙂
That was an honest mistake. 🙂
And if it was a deliberate action then it shows a LACK of integrity and values.
Kenny
Margie – I love the crux of your post: I don’t want to be the next so and so. I want to be the first me.
When I was very early in my career I was in a situation where company leadership put us “newbies” in very competitive situations, assumably to see who would thrive and rise to the top. I remember at the time having a quote taped to my “daytimer” that, in essence, said there is enough success to go around for all of us – we just have to be true to ourselves.
Thanks for sharing your story and your honesty!
Lisa Petrilli
That’s a great thought to remember, but it’s one that doesn’t seem to get shared a lot in the online world. There is lots of room, plenty of room, even, for tons of “influencers,” thought leaders, stars, authors, or whatever else you might want to be. There’s plenty of room because no one will do things exactly like you, and therefore, while you might be in the same niche, you’re still (most likely) the only you.
Great comment, as always. Thank you for adding to the conversation 🙂
Always a treasure in your posts. I love the way you “listened to the moment.” That’s when the grace falls in. Hopeless living is reactionary and combative. Starfish living is slow, deliberate, and filled with surprises.
I remember Milton’s plea to his Star, Urania: “Still govern my song…a fit audience I find though few.”
Keep shining,
M
Thanks so much, Mark 🙂 I really appreciate it!
I’m with GrandmaonDeck and I was the star fish rescuer a few weeks back – I was walking the beach and so many starfish were washed up on shore. I went for a relaxing walk that morning and instead I found myself throwing starfish into the water instead of my relaxing walk. Someone passed me by and said there’s too many of them – and I replied – I made a difference for the 50 or 75 that I threw back….so you see my friend – you made the difference here – someone found your story so amazing that they used it – no recognition but you never know when it will all come back to you. You have 18 comments and 9 tweets – that would be a great day for my blog site – http://www.makegirlfriends.com – a site for women to meet.share.inspire….
In gratitude,
Nancy
Good for you for actually living out the moral of that story!
As for this post, I am very lucky. This is pretty excellent for my site, too 🙂 Thanks for adding to the conversation!
Hi Margie,
This post brings out a recurring theme in my life and to use your words “I want to be the first me” not the next so and so.
Although competition motivates many people, I find it very limiting. I don’t even like voting in contests for “the best online ____” whatever. I live happier and find more success with the motto “There is no shortage.” It keeps you traveling on your own journey and learning from others rather than competing against them.
You have written a wonderful post and the starfish thrower is a theme I have used in team building and customer service workshops. Very inspirational.
I add one more quote to your already great post:
“If you compare yourselves with others, you will become vain or bitter. For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” ~Desideratum
With inspirational gratitude,
Kate Nasser
Guilty as charged (sometimes)!
I do try to give the writer credit as much as possible, but there are times when I press the Tweet button where it only provides the @symbol for the blog owner. I usually do a search on Twitter for the real writer’s handle but sometimes can’t find it, so I just tweet the way the blog is set for tweeting. Not intended to slight anyone. I expect that’s what many people do, with no ill-intention.
And sometimes the writer’s name is buried in the midst of larger text and promos that make people think the article is really that of the blog owner. It is sometimes like being on a treasure hunt to find the name in the midst of all the other verbiage.
I have wondered though why the blog owner doesn’t make it easier to credit the actual writer in these cases.
Anyway, I’m glad to have discovered your blog and will be even more diligent in future to ensure the real writer is credited. I expect many are thrilled to be guest posters on high profile blogs and equally disappointed they don’t get recognized for thir work.
And if any “big” blog owners bury your name on posts I read, I will write my own blog post on the issue of unintended anonymity of writers. 🙂